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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/20/2004 11:04:00 AM | | Thanks indigo. Actually having the cancer has turned my life around. It made me realize that life really is too short!!! My attitude on life in general has changed!!! My moto is "live every day like its your last, and have no regrets"!!!!! | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/20/2004 12:12:06 PM | swtnsssy: I have went out with blind, deaf, and wheel chair bound men that lead full and happy lives. I had a good male friend that had epilepsy. If life and chance occured and I found myself in either of these situations I would hope that someone would love me as I was.
That being said, I have a brain tumor, it is NOT malignant but it may kill me someday. I am doing alternative medical treatment for it. When I get to know people better I tell them and let them make their decision based on that. I find that it is not wise to spring that on people right away. I do not wait too long before I tell them though.
I understand that people are hesitant to date someone with what they consider a terminal illness should remember that they are missing out on the opportunity of a life time. We are all going to die some how and some way. We all want to experience true love before we make our exit from this life. I would be hurt if the person I was interested in were to turn me away because I was dying. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 28 | |
| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/20/2004 12:19:22 PM | I dated a girl in a wheelchair in one of my college semasters , she was super great , was funny and full of life but she had some issues and pushed me away because she thought things would not work out because of her disability . I dated a girl for a few months who was deaf , her persnality was very giving but she had to leave to go back home to germany.
Last person I dated then I married , was the most beautiful person I ever knew , she died because of a realted problem , it was so worth it . | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/20/2004 8:21:51 PM | | I admit I have slight disability but it doesn't consume my life. Scoliosis (not contagious) I was born with it wore the stupid brace for 16 years. (Brace went from my neck to my butt) try walking around with that all day and have to sleep with it. ugh so uncomfortable. SO always shoved it in the locker in school. I figured out how to get it off. Than Had the operation done so now I have 2 metal rods between the spine. And I still work......lol More than i'm supposed or should be. Yes I go off at the airports..lol And no i'm not the huntchback of Notre Dame either. hehe | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/20/2004 8:44:16 PM | | I've read all the postings, and I tell you- they sure help put things in perspective. You know when the chips are down, some people say, 'well, at least you have your health'? Looking at the challenges some of you have faced and overcome gives further proof to the truth of that statement. My hat's off to all of you. For those who are still fighting, keep it up. These postings hopefully will help keep your motivation up. | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/20/2004 8:48:18 PM | Hello
My name is Scott and I am Scotty39 on here. I have to tell you all something, I am in a wheelchair and I want to date. I have dated many of time but I find that sometimes it is a mercy kill if you know what I mean. I havent been this way all my life, but ten yaers ago I was given diabetes and I lost my right leg below knee due to it. I am 39 and have a heart like everyone else but its hard to find someone to accept that I am in a wheelchair not alone date someone. I have had several dates this way and they go well, but thensuddenly I find that I am all a sudden alone again and wondering why. I have my faults as well but I know because of being in a wheelchair I am judge from the begining. I have a good heart and was raised a gentleman. I love to romance and Ill open that door for you. Sometime love sucks and many take advanyage of you, no offense to the good women out there. I just want to love and be loved and have fun in the mean time. Thank you for listening.
Scotty39 on plentyoffish | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/20/2004 9:34:22 PM | SydneyGirl -:
My mother gave me this inspiration
The reason i love writing is for this purpose and creation
How we go through times of trouble
And still we stand strong through the dusty rubble
If it is a friend you need , then here is my hand
I wont pretend like i understand
I will listen , and i will be there
For you if you need somebody to care
I have plenty of time on my own
I need a friend because im all alone
To share stories and lifes experience
Im an optimist with a clerical clearance
To be happy everyday , is that what i say?......
Sounds simple , but its hard some days...
So anytime you need to rhyme
Drop in to Poems&Quotes , im there all the time
Feel free to read my heart , this all i can give from the start
Have a merry xmas and a great new years
Heres some beers
Cheers big ears!
Daniel Blake.
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/20/2004 9:45:18 PM | thanks daniel, that was beautiful...
but the reality is, ppl r very open minded when they talk about others,
it's like those white ppl use to say:" of course i'm not racist, as long as those black kids don't come to our school" | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/20/2004 9:50:15 PM | "Others"??
what is reality?
"white and black" they are shades
Colours are what makes us swirl
Sorry but i didnt get that SydneyGirl. | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/20/2004 11:14:42 PM | Hmm... about a year and a half ago I started talking to a gal, we hit is off pretty good. I got to the point where I asked her for a dinner date. She demurred, for reason that I did not know at the time, but it was not biggie. We continued to talk, and one day she told me she was in a wheel chair. I asked her at that point if that was why she had decided not to go to dinner with me. She was honest and told me that when we started talking she was in the middle of a break up with a real bone head... violent, controlling etc.... And I said oh... in any case, she asked me at one point if her being in a wheelchair would bother me... I told her only if she rolled over my toe... at which point I think she had the best laugh she had had in a while.
I never did get my dinner date, but would have been more than happy to have taken her out. She was quite pretty, intelligent and nice. It never did happen, but I see no need to shy away from them. THey are people, in many ways much stronger than us "normals", after all they have overcome and lived with their issue for a while(in most cases) and not gone postal.
GO for it... and Remember to ask her to dance....
~~DragonRider~~
Be wary of the Dragon... he spits... | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/21/2004 12:44:28 AM | I am blind,in that I don't always understand what I am looking at...
I am deaf,in that I don't get what you say,till much later.../-;
And I am Dumb,in that I never know how to respond...
Most of my day's and all of my night's are visited by a mind numbing pain that no narcotic will kill,so I pray myself to sleep or I don't sleep...*J*
It has been so long since I dated, that the thoght terrifies me...
Yet,here I am...
As I look at it,Disabled people are far better off then I...(-;
Would I date them??? Yes...
Would I fear them??? Yes...
I am impervious to scorn,but I don't want to do something worong and hurt someone emotionally...*J*
So I stay locked up tight within my own little world,serving the masses understood by only the dead... | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/21/2004 2:45:20 AM | | Let me start off by saying that i am disable.I had a car wreck,it disabled my walking and i am parelized on the right side ,if my date and i chooze to perform any thing there are ways to get the job done. | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/23/2004 12:31:06 AM | | what about people with depresion? or agorophobia? sometime i cant leave the house, but i play it off like,' why leave, everythings here'.but if people think your 'mental',( depresion does NOT make you mental,you just cry sometimes.) theyre really gone fast.or i HATE people that always go,' if you ever need to talk, im always here,' they dont mind unloading their problems on you, but when all you need is someone to just call you back,maybe stop by just to say hi and give you a hug.thats WAY too much to ask of anyone.but they come cry on your shoulder and dump on you, then they are gone until they are horny.then they actually wonder why you stay a hermit!! | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/23/2004 2:30:33 AM | a very long time ago, as a kid, I had a girl ask me to a movie.
to be honest, for how small my school was, I never saw her before.
didn't even know we had a area of the school for handicapped and mentally challenged kids, till I met this particular girl.
she asked me to a movie... but she was blind.
that might seem odd, but to tell you the truth, once you understood her, it seems almost normal. took awhile for me to get use to the idea, that for her, hearing was her sight.
she couldn't see a movie, but she did hear it.
for her, sound was everything.
sound is still the one thing I take from her.
see, before her, I had no appreciation for the simple sounds like makes.
sound is everywhere, but since we see, we don't really take the sounds things make, into our main senses, and appreciate them as much.
I remember times, we would go to the beach, on rainy autumn days.
just talk really, and the littlest things, seemd so different when she described them.
the sound rain makes as it hits cement, compared to the sound rain makes hitting dirt.
the sound wind makes in the trees, as it blows in summer, is different then the same wind, in spring, when trees have little to no leaves.
it was a interesting time with her, cause I barely remember her ever walking with a stick or anything, and feeling around, she just walked beside me all the time.
sound, smell, and memory seemed to be the most dominant forces in her life.
after a while, I barely saw her as handicapped at all honestly.
she was happy, adventurous, intelligent, had a good heart, and having been born this way, she was always curious to hear about things I never really thought about. like what color was, and if it made me feel any way...
she ended up moving away, cause her parents just wanted to leave alaska.
this was long before the internet happend in the early 90's, so email and such didn't even exist at the time.
so we wanted to do letters, but she had this machine that, well it was basically needles that her fingers touched, and they would raise and lower, really fast, and tell her things.
it was a brail keyboard thing.
problem was, she knew brail and I knew handwriting.
her parents didn't seem to care much for us, so I doubted they would ever write a letter for her.
we would call sometimes, but the years and distance just took thier toll, and she moved on, and so did I.
that was so long ago, but I still take the appreciation of sound that I gained from her.
even to this day, it's always one of my favorite things, just the smallest details of things.
sometimes I do little things that remind me of her.
she use to count how many sounds something made.
I sometimes try to listen to the engine of the bus as I heard off to classes, and hear where all the sounds come from, and how many there are, what patter they come from.
these days, its more a mental excercise, then anything.
a way to keep the mind active, when faced with boredom of taking a bus to class or something. but at times, I remember, why I am this way.
if faced with the opertunity of dating someone handicapped, I would not turn away.
I would know, I still have much to learn. but like my blind friend, they would prove, they are just another person, and not the handicap that you see. | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/25/2004 7:30:22 AM | I have problems shaking but just in my neck and sometimes in my hands, when I am nervous it gets real bad. I have dated some hot looking guys that make Brad Pit look like nothing. I guess it pays to be a shaky chick and in the bed room no one needs to be vibrated. I just shake the bed and you all know what happenes from there.
I also suffer from panic and depression and flash backs because I was abused. Yea I am out there alright and I never claim to be sane. I do know how to love someone and I am wise behind my ears. I get one of them state checks so I don't work and I don't have a car. I don't think I will ever be able to drive because of my illness. I don't need a flash back, or to have a panic attack and then hit some tree. Hey I just want to be loved to and I know there is someone out there for me. I just hope one day to meet guitar boy who lives down the hall from me. Or maybe someone off line who would care enough to meet someone who is kind and caring and ok I am a tad nuts but I admit to it and I am not boring that is for sure. Don't be afraid. I am very kind and I have alot to give to the right person. | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/25/2004 8:03:54 AM | Tad nuts ain't bad Queen... it makes you a bit more interesting than the norm... God save us from "normal" folk, if we were all normal, life would be so boring, and pointless... You sound like a sweet person... and are cute too... Racine eh... not THAT far from me ;-)
~~Dragon Rider~~
As the Dragon Spake, Magic Happens
Merry Christmas | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/25/2004 10:03:17 AM | Tad nuts is good, even a good bit of nuts helps.
My disability is a curse, a blessing, enough to drive you crazy. No wheelchair, no cane, no crutches, nothing to enable me to act normal.
I am a Disabled Amercian Vet with bilateral hearing loss. Dancing, concerts, live bands, anything music is out. Even with hearing aides I have about 40% hearing in the good ear.
I laugh when others laugh, simply because they laugh. I have no clue what the humor was, so I can't respond in a witty way.
Anyone with suggestions?
G | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/25/2004 10:26:18 AM | I thought about listing MY disabilities here, but why? I have been given gifts to compensate for any and all of them (I believe so, it is true), and I never really think of any of them, including the health ones to be stumbling blocks in enjoying love, life and happiness. Pain is a pain in the bu** sometimes, because it seperates us from the world for awhile, but I take that time to go inward. I consider my disabilties part of what makes me unique and different. My eyesight for instance is 20/200, super good, and so on....most everyone has something that could get in the way of a full life if we let it! But why? There are as many reasons in the world for not enjoying life as we all care to list! I really enjoyed this paricular thread, and thinking or re-thinking about what makes each disability so unique, maybe we should call them re-abilities, or something that implies a more positive light. I hope all who are here and wish or need to talk about their 'situations' come forward. Awareness will help integrate all who deal with life in a different manner be understood! Thanks everyone for a little enlightenment.  | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/25/2004 12:17:41 PM | If you like the person, whats a disability?? we all have problems, there isnt anybody perfect on here, and wont be  | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/25/2004 2:30:21 PM | way too often, everyone is ultra nice to me, because i'm a fun loving girl in a wheelchair, but when it comes to taking the next step, they all became like: ' err, u r a really nice girl, but...'
they will introduce me too there friends saying ' oh, she's really nice, cute, fun , this and that...' but at the end of the day, no one wants to be associated to me themself.
i do live my life to the full, and try not to let my chair get to me. but there's this bit of reality i can not ignore. | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 12/25/2004 2:35:21 PM | hey sydneygirl, its thier loss.
My heart goes out to you and have some hope in your heart, There are guys out there who will like you for who you are!!
Were not all pigs LOL okay well most of us but not completely anyway  | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 1/1/2005 6:39:18 PM | Salamander,
Kudos to you for your post! I too believe the same as you, and I have been amazed at the replies to my post.
MESSAGE TO ALL WHO POST HERE:
When I first posted this, I didn't actually think it would generate many replies....I was wrong.
I've read every reply here...some were read with a smile, and some were read with with a heavy heart, because of the treatment received.
To those who were or have been mis-treated, I wish you courage and faith, and hope it never happens again. I have learned much from my very special friend with MS, and I can only hope that if someone sees a "dis"-abled person, that they actually SEE THE PERSON, AND *NOT* THE DISABILITY!
May each of you experience life to the fullest, filled always with light, laughter, and most of all.........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LOVE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gentlespirit | |
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| Disabilities and dating....
Posted: 1/1/2005 6:41:25 PM | Dragon,
"and remember to ask her to dance".....how beautiful.
Thank you,
Gentlespirit | |
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^ Wally man I know where your coming from... too funny...
