|
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 8/31/2005 9:08:42 PM | I have to respond to this as you have touched a subject that is near and dear to my heart...video games!!!
I want to make a point first - I'm a woman.
I have played every Final Fantasy that has come out in the States and have spent 300+ hours playing them (per game, sometimes). I have played to the point where my boyfriend's have nightmares about the games...  (and in some cases, such as Fatal Frame, I have nightmares...but I still play). WEEKS (not just days) go by when Final Fantasy comes out and my significant other couldn't tear me away from the TV and if they tried we ended up in a fight. If football season coincides with a game release...hit the road to a sports bar pal. And when FF is done, I move onto other games...Tomb Raider, Sims, Internet games...Everquest.
The reason I bring all of this up is because I don't think that it's fair to state that it's only men that have this trait. There are a lot of women that are constantly on the web playing internet games that allow chat or are cuddling up to x-box as soon as they get home. It's no different from reading a good book...it opens you're mind and imagination up to accepting new concepts or teaches new thought patterns. It's just a little more visual, that's all.
If you ask the question this thread is based on, mine in return would be "Why do so many women spend hours upon hours in trashy romance novels and then go out in the world expecting to find a relationship that rivals the ones in the latest Harlequin?"
I think that this trend (romance noveling) sets a relationship up for failure much quicker than playing video games. And, in some cases, the girl never finds a relationship that matches up and then ends up alone all of her life...waiting for her Prince Charming to show up..
Just an opinion...hope it doesn't offend anyone. | |
|
| |
Celyne
|
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 105 | |
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 8/31/2005 9:18:06 PM | LOL see I think as long as he was helping around the house, with the kids (if we had any) and spending SOME time with me he can play anytime he wants. BUT I used to be an EQ junkie, or WOW junkie....I'd play with him! :P
But that's my opinion. I mean some people are tv junkies or they will sit and read a book all night or party. what's the difference? | |
|
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 8/31/2005 9:22:29 PM | He could a worse addiction. I mean really!!
Viedo games are a nice tenson release. Get to run around and kill people!! Whats not awsome about that? Espically after a long night at work. | |
|
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 8/31/2005 9:40:29 PM | First I'm going to say - Tiggergrrl rocks! The FF series is one of the best ever. However, if you're in a relationship, (whether you're a guy or a chick), anything that takes this much time away from your significant other can seriously suck. I mean, you are choosing to play a game instead of spending time with your partner. How do you think he/she is going to feel? As a previous game addict myself I've compromised. The girl I'm currently seeing doesn't like most of the games I play. So when she's not around I play em. However, after much effort on my part I got her into World of Warcraft and now she wants to play it more than I do  | |
|
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:00:12 PM | I usually just read and soak in the opinions, but I have to speak out on this.
While I am sure that some people take it to extremes, and to addiction... this is just another complaint in general... you could insert anything you want after Why do men ruin Relationships...
There are a lot of variables and blaming it on video games is a pretty narrow view. There is something ELSE wrong with the relationship if a person (notice I didn't say a particular gender?) feels the video game is ruining their relatiohship.
It depends on the responsibilities etc, but in general, a hobby is a hobby is a hobby. I play guitar and have been since I was 15. I can play for 3-4 hours on end, no problem... because I know that many songs and because I may feel like getting into something and if that means an escapist attitude, so be it.
Women have their own too... it's not like women don't get involved with their 'hobbies' too. Now, I can see that for a lot of women, they may be single mothers with that sole responsibility resting on their shoulders so when they see a man who has booku time on his hands, they feel envious, perhaps even jealous.
What about the home-maker who sits home all day, has the schedule of Young and the Restless at 11, Bold and the Beautiful at 12, Dr. Phil, Oprah, etc... on through the evening, with television shows... they'll probably swear up and down that some of these things are 'educational' afterall Oprah is like a deity...
But when it comes down to it... it's your interests. If you have a man and can't seem to pull him away from that vid, well, you should know what to do... or have a limit set... something... but when you all (those that do) just sit there and do your thing and then stew about what your man is doing, that's asinine.
Video games are not just 'machine' oriented. Ever heard of X-Box live; or online games such as through Gamespy where people actually play with other humans? They relate, they talk about their day, they talk about anything, all while their playing... they're not limiting themselves to their 'little' circle of friends... they expand their horizons by being connected to random players from around the world. I've met people in Britain, Canada and all over the U.S.; how often do you do that sitting on the couch watching Oprah?
Video games also develop hand-eye coordination. I was chosen to be a gunner on an M2 Bradley fighting vehicle just before Desert Storm. It was not so much that I was a better soldier than my comrades, but I had been playing vids since I was a wee lad and I WAS quicker and more accurate in the turret because of it. I had nine guys' lives in my "hands"... literally... and my Platoon Leader had no misgivings about me being there even though I was 19 years old at the time and the youngest gunner in the Batallion. If I'd spent that time with my hands on my girl's butt (taken from Crossroads - the movie with Ralph Macchio) instead of honing those skills... that would not have happened.
So, be careful what you wish for and how you characterize these things. You sound a bit perturbed because someone cared more about playing with a controller than with you. Maybe it had something to do with you or the relatioship in general?
I've had girlfriends who were that boring that they sought my company to alleviate their boredom with their own selves... never have I sought that from a girl... because I am not bored and never lacking in something to do.
Develop some hobbies of your own. Set some limits... do something, but don't sit there and be silent until you've had enough... An old Army saying goes: silence is acceptance. Most women are silent until they've reached their limit... bad choice.
Men, and I'm sure women too, develop their little routines and when they get into a relationship it can hard to change that routine...
Anything taken to extremes can become an addiction. Treat the problem, don't blame vids...
I've never had a problem putting the controller down when the woman in my life was interesting enough... when they sit there like a bump on a log, or try to monopolize the time we spend together watching WE, then yeah, I'm going to look for more masculine things to do... I can be sensitive and all that, but sheesh, let a man be man. We don't tell you women you can't be part of the things you like to do... sewing circles etc...
It's got nothing to do with "can't handle reality"... look ladies, no offense, but your reality is funny. You don't have to strap 'em on and go to the front line and put your butt on the line... there's a reason women aren't allowed in combat... when you get those cramps and you lay down for hours... or you're bytchy cause your estrogen is kicking your butt... or the fact that you NEED feminine hygiene. Men are different... embrace the differences... stop trying to make men so interested in the Golden Girls...
No, most men don't face that reality everyday... BUT, the point is simple, we all do things to "wind down" or relax after our day at work. That's a totally fallacious argument to say men can't handle reality... perhaps if you women that find this so annoying actually tried to look at it from a broader perspective than this narrow one, it might dawn on you that you 'escape' too, just in your own different way.
No merit to this argument at all. You could insert Sports, drinking, male friends, or a milion other activities in there and apply it to WHY your relationship is failing... but you're probably not including your own negatives you're bringing to the relationship as well.
Peace. | |
|
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:17:16 PM | If our wives/girlfriends would give us all the sex we needed, there'd be no problem.
Seriously I think part of the problem is that it is proven that television/monitor images put out an effect on the pleasure centres of the brain... that and at the core, us men are really simplistic and most of us like to win and figure things out... women are very complicated and pleasing a woman can be like walking through a 10 mile minefield.. you get it right and then you don't...
Games are very easy compared to women I have observed (as my father has the same affliction of being drawn away by the PC). | |
|
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:00:34 PM |
If our wives/girlfriends would give us all the sex we needed, there'd be no problem.
that is SOO not true.. do you know that men who are competitive in regular sports are just as competative in video games? I heard the excuse that he just wanted to be the best.. however he didn't have an answer as to why he didn't want to be the best in giving to the relationship.. kinda funny how that works. | |
|
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:15:14 PM | i know how that goes a long time ago i competed in game tournaments and i was #4 in the nationals long ago and hosted afew smaller ones and stuff even trained some gamers to become really great
i dunno games can be good for alot for guys the women in games don't give the guy stress of any sort really lol no nagging,no whining, pms lol thats the pros too the cons no sex,no companionship,no sex lmao 
ah yes final fantasy games own over almost all other rpg games i think i've played em all i get into games if the story is really good and the interest in characters such as i used to change the names and put my friends names,g/f,myself for whatever characters if it fit just to make it even better lol so the player wants to be part of the story abit more its not totally bad i've heard of people who dress up like characters and role play and well you can figure it out where that can go | |
|
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:22:20 PM | | I used them to escape boredom, reality TV, and some negativity. It did take its toll on my relationship, but now at least I'm free. Cause all of the above aren't that good to me. I have finally broke myself of the habit but now I am just on here. So which of them is better the answers aren't so clear. | |
|
| |
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 9/1/2005 2:33:05 AM | I agree with the observation that if you takes you away from a relationship a serious amount of time - there are issues there. Mine was short lived and I have yet to find a game that would absorb my interest like Quake did. Now that I am single, I probably would have time for it...lol [ and no the game wasnt why I ended up single... lol..so dont go there]
Its all about balance. Just like anything. I dont see the harm in playing a couple of nights during the week and maybe on a lazy Sunday here and there. Guys go play golf, other women might spend it at the mall. I like nothing better on a cold rainy day to stay in and play games. At leat I know Im saving money !![ If I have a good one going]. However I wouldnt blow off people anymore to play something. The novelty wore off as I said
Like any hobby in a relationship- youve got to find a happy medium. There are so many other things I like to do - the games or puzzles wait for cold weather indoor days
PS At the moment I am trying to get my head around the Myst edition - but its too slow for me - bring back the ogres.... !! | |
|
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 9/1/2005 2:43:21 AM | | for me i need action in my games and in my relationships i suppose within reason for two people dating or whatever find games you can play together so no ones left out i prefer co-op games where you work together to kick ass that usually gets interest and even more so if the people are competitive and wanna make it more interesting make it strip stakes lol yeah buddy ! i got into this card game not too long ago called "yu-gi-oh" so far me and my g/f at the time have played whenever we get together she wanted to learn originally to impress some guy and instead ended up with me :-p not bad choice so if i see her this weekend its gonna be strip stakes !!! | |
|
| |
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 9/1/2005 5:52:58 AM |
(jimi77) because men in todays world have nothing to fight, no noble cause, no chance to be a hero.. PLUS it's also fun to stomp your buddys A$$ and lay the smack down on his candy A$$ in a good game.
preach on man, preach on. not totally in agreement about womens' hobbies, but 100% with you aside from that.
(mspicky)I walked up to him buck-naked and began to kiss him on his neck. He got pissed at me...
lmao. that's just bad. like most of the guys here, i love my games too (Diablo2/LoD, and Ragnarok Online primarily at the moment).. but a brief glance at your pics, and a little common sense? THERE'S A PAUSE BUTTON FOR A REASON!! GOOD HEAVENS!
Now, On "Topic"..
Fallon, you're asking 2 questions here.
1; Why do men ruin relationships with videogames.. and
2; what kind of man would do it?
as for the first one.. simplify it.
"Why do people ruin relationships with _______ ???"
man or woman, there's no difference... and fill in the blank with anything.. lack of communication, lack of caring, cheating, drinking, staying out late, videogames, leaving the toilet seat up, putting the toilet paper on the roll so it dispenses in the wrong direction.. anything you've ever heard that ends a relationship.
and the answer is the same answer that all relationships end with: because the partners involved in the relationship were not compatible and would not [could not?] make the changes necessary to accomodate each other.
and the second one.. What kind of -person- would allow themselves to do it?
well what kind of person becomes an alcoholic? what kind of person becomes a drug addict? what kind of person becomes addicted to... sex? porn? making sure the toilet paper dispenses in only the correct direction? etc etc.
my dad would give a much better answer; he taught "Abnormal Psychology" in college.. but i am not he, and follow his footsteps i did not.. so my best understanding is 2fold..
1; to escape something. to hide from whatever it is they don't want to deal with. like mspicky being far too sexy and reminding you of your other... "short-comings".
2; inability to recognize or control the problem. if you can't recognize the problem, you can't even make the effort to control it. and if you can't control it, then it will control you.
Now here's one for you;
What kind of person lets another person ruin their life with an addiction? if the person is addicted to videogames and letting the rest of their life fall apart because of it, why isn't their partner (or friends, or family) stepping in to intervene?
using your own somewhat narrow example.. why doesn't -she- step in before the relationship is destroyed and say to him "Hey, you have a problem, and i'm not going to let you throw everything away to this videogame." | |
|
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 9/1/2005 6:10:25 AM | oh and just to clarify;
same as comics, animation, and so many other "kids media" that we grew up with... they also grew up with us.
yes children are a moderate and ever-present market group for videogame manufacturers.
but the real target demographic is the people that have their own money. why target kids to beg from their parents, who may or may not get it for xmas.. when you can target it to the buyer themselves? love, sex, violence, blowing sh*t up, car chases, etc.
read the book, see the movie, buy the merchandise, play the videogame.
sure, sesame street, barney, muppets are for kids.
Aliens vs Predator, the Die Hard trilogy, and uncountable other horrors invading the earth to do unspeakable things to every living(more-or-less) humanoid-being of the hero's race they can get their grasping-appendage onto? nnnnnot so much i think. | |
|
| |
mogami
|
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 120 | |
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 9/1/2005 8:22:57 AM | Hi, I spend a lot of time playing computer games. I don't play shooters except when I am watching my nephew (He likes to play Daiablo2 and I run his little guy around while he play acts the part)
I play wargames. You don't need dexterity in your hands (but you do need it mentality) I learn a lot from playing these games. (History,geography and answers to questions like "Why didn't they do this instead of that")
If I was not single I would not spend as much time playing them as I do now. I also always have a few Yahoo fantasy baseball teams.
I think it would be wonderful to have a lady who was interested in history or baseball to play the games with but that would not be our only pasttime. I don't go out much but I like to throw darts and bowl but they are not fun things to do by yourself. I have play by email friends (PBEM) that I play the wargames with. Guys from all over so it's also a good way to make friends and I always write my emails in their language so I learn a bit there as well. (I use the babel fish sometimes it translates what I say in quite amusing ways..."did you mean to say your hair was on fire"?
Some people need to be kept busy mentality. I know I do. Trying to plan the first six months of World War Two as Japan eats a lot of time.
I am quite certain that no matter how engrossed I was at the moment with any war game I could let it rest for as long as my lady required my attention. It would be nice if I could get her interested in them but other pursuits could replace a lot of what is presently filled by my games.
I won't apologize for playing them and they will always be one of my main interests. I enjoy them too much to ever stop. However they would not rule a relationship.
It's too bad there are not many female "Grognards" | |
|
| WHY DO MEN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH VIDEO GAMES?
Posted: 9/1/2005 8:40:34 AM | LOL to me this is a hilarious question....when I first was dating my ex he played online games constantly and I got irritated...Then he told me hey why dont you give it a shot...So I did...then I found out exactly why he played them all the time THEY ROCK  lol....So I guess that could be a sexist question cause some girls are gamers as well...I love my mmorpgs and fprs...I played Diablo2, AC2, Counterstrike, Halo2, UO, and so many more...Video games take me to a place I cant be IRL...its a nice lil escape at times  | |
|
| |
| |
| |
mogami
|
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 125 | |
| |
|
| Page 5 of 33
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33 |
|
Home
login 
