canali
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Joined: 4/11/2006
Msg: 51 | |
| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/26/2006 2:58:39 PM | there is in my books no excuse to do this...IF you feel you have something worthwhile, then INVEST in it 150% and get rid of temptations, man...simple...IF, however, you're NOT feeling so sure or are still tentatively dating, then I understand it.
To each his/her own, I suppose....but for me, when I feel that there is a woman I want to give my heart to, I'll put my POF acct on hold...that's the problem with cyberdating....the next 'fix' is always there when you get a hiccup in your relationship...easy to cut and run instead of working through the inherent difficulties...so while cyberdating CAN be great (plenty of fish...I've had alot of dates on here) it does also present difficulties IF you don't treat it properly....it can actually be a BARRIER to intimacy via misuse.
However, I also have some great gal pals on line here (we've been very supportive of one another...live in different cities so no chance of things happening)...so if I logged on it would be for that reason ...IF I chose to, that is...OR I'd give them my hotmail email to keep in touch with (so again to avoid the temptation)...as well I'd change my profile to 'friends' IF I kept it active...but probably would take it off entirely and focus on my gal
150% instead.
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gr82m8
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Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 53 | |
| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 11/26/2006 2:56:25 PM | there were a couple times I had met a woman, (funny enough, I met them in real life ;-)) and I was serious about her. I just came on and deleted my accounts. I didn't want the temptation and anyone that hadn't gotten back to me by that time was SOL. Hey, I'm only looking for One after all.
When it didn't work out, after a while, I began a new account and started over.
So here I am, fishing again    | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 11/26/2006 5:41:17 PM | When I'm interested in someone, I'm not tempted by anyone else so it's not really an issue. He's got my full attention. 
This site is kind of different in the sense that it has a forum so I log in to see what's been posted and occasionally post myself. | |
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Revy1
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Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 55 | |
| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 11/26/2006 6:37:39 PM | A lot of people who are online are no longer looking... and it says so on their profiles. Mine included. I am still on here because I have a few chatting relationships with people online, am posting to the forums, and still being relatively new to the area, looking for possible friends.
Several guys that I was chatting with have since found SO's but remain on the site, although their profiles have changed to reflect their new "status". Mine also says clearly that I am unavailable but am looking for friends. My SO knows I am online still, and has no issue.
If a person's profile does not reflect their taken status however, then there is good reason to question their motives for being online. I know there are that type out there, still looking or maybe looking for an ego stroking? | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 11/26/2006 7:22:11 PM | I'm in regards to the post by monkeybeanz.Yes I am totally with you on this one , please, guys need to grow up! , they want to have you in their life , but, yet still go online and chat or find other woman.???.... I still can't seem to figure what it's about. Well.. I was in this realtionship, with this guy , and he has an account on here, and yet I found him using this site quite a bit over the period that we were dating...we were together for 3 yrs, and so I had my fun with this, and made up an account that he wouldn't know about and used it on him, so that's how I knew... But not girls are all the same , some take things in different ways.. So truth be told, I fell in love with this guy, and wanted to be with him so bad, that in the end it all came down to why are you still going on this shit , if you have me.??? We met through friends, a few yrs back , and I have never dated a guy that I have talked to on the net,So WHY it is so mysterious for guys to do this sort of thing!! ] | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:39:36 AM | | Well for me OP my gf and I have an understanding that we both have our profiles up here, and trust each other enough, but of course we changed our profiles to reflect that were dating, also letting ppl know when contacting us our intentions. We enjoy the entertainment of the site and the forums. For some of our friends aside from calling on the phone this is the only other way to contact them. Plus it's always flattering to get added to a persons favorites list or to contacted because the liked something in your profile. But like I said it shouldn't be a problem as long as you talk openly about it, not keeping it a secret. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 11/27/2006 7:55:50 AM | Hey People,
I am xXmentalXx's GF, and him and I had actually discussed it quite a bit, and neither of us feel that there is anything wrong with us keeping our profiles up on this site. We have a complete understanding of what this site is all about to us now that we are together. And I know that neither of us are on here looking to cheat or to find any other person to have a connection with, we are on here merely looking for new people to talk to/ friends/ forums.
Plus it does make it easier to talk to other friends that we both have on here when we dont feel like using the phone. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/11/2007 6:01:05 PM | | I can understand being on this site to speak with other friends, but looking at other profiles? This guy put a paragraph on his profile "UPDATE" proclaiming to have found the love of his life but yet he is still looking at profiles. So, what's up with that? I certainly would not be on here looking for someone else if I made a statement like that on my profile. It's the same old story - always looking for more and thinking you are missing something. No one is ever satisfied. I can't wait to get off this site - lololol. | |
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ddream
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Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 62 | |
| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/11/2007 6:15:34 PM | Well, If I had the most beautiful, fun, loving girl in the world (in my opinion) then I wouldn't have the need to get back here.
And if I did I'd be open to her and give my password so she can check up on me whenever she wants.
But I absolutely don't see a point of being on here when I have a committed relationship whatsoever. Unless I'm not happy with her, in that case it's time to take matters in my own hand, break up and register here all over again (hope they save my screenname for me though so I can meet up with old friends...  ) | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/11/2007 6:22:53 PM | If I was in such a situation I probably would still log on for some time, BECAUSE I have met some people on here I still would like to chat with, AND I like the forums.
If you have to check on your mate on these sites and see if he still is online, then you got a problem, insecurity, and you better figure out why, because you will never be happy with that kind of a problem. You will never trust him when he is out of your sight. Poor guy, I hope he sees the light before it is too late. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/11/2007 6:22:59 PM | LOOKING when U are committed? Committed to me means U are dating after several times, sleeping together, and talking about NOT DATING no one else! But they still do it? I beleive it is because WHY STOP there will always be someone better? grass always greener, new shoe wears out, PLUS as long as people tolerate others doing it? and people go out with ones doing it IT WILL NEVER STOP! EASY, and accessible ADVENTOUROUS alot of times NOT gettting caught!
I beleive U get in a relationship yada yada U GET OFF THE SITES! HONESTY and RESPECT, HONOUR cannot be replaced with lies, and deceit. If U do tell why U are on? to someone U are involved with then they accept that is what U willahve to deal with. But it is NO GOOD!  | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:37:35 PM | I had this happen to me recently. I was with a guy who was definitely committed and IN the relationship (he was talking marriage, etc...) A few months into the relationship I noticed he was still logging into Lavalife (I just checked in a moment of thinking maybe something was wrong when he was moody one night - I honestly wasn't still logging in myself). When I confronted him, he said (and I quote because I did it in an email because I didn't know what to say to him in person):
"I have occassionaly logged into Lavalife out of mild curiousity and amusement, nothing more. I find it very surprising at the number of the same people on Lavalife now as when I first signed on back in August. I can understand that you might be hurt or offended, and for that I apologize."
I was like "mild curiosity and amusement"??? At the time I didn't see it and forgave him, but what it really was, was NEEDINESS. It is someone with a low self-esteem who needs to feel like they are still attractive to others and worthy of attention. I honestly don't think he was looking to trade up at the time (he was honestly smitten), but his ego just wanted to know that he was still appealing. It's not a good sign! | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:39:02 PM | Oh wait, and one more:
" My checking in at Lavalife was for entertainment purposes only (similar to watching trashy shows on TV), but I understand how it must have upset you - for that I am sorry."
Just thought it was funny! | |
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Stelta
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Joined: 2/22/2007
Msg: 67 | |
| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/11/2007 9:09:23 PM |
He is looking to see if there is anything better biting?
AND
If he is on here, he is seeking another person to date.
Unfortunately the above would be the only reasoning I could come up with so I say whats good for the goose is good for the gander keep on Gal! | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:33:13 AM | | It must be about you both being of the same mindset. If you both like the "exclusivity" factor, then agree to not participate and don't come to POF any more ... most people came here to meet someone, as in more than just friends, so to continue afterwards once you found your "one fish" seems pointless ... however, others have also found friends ... OK, well carry on outside via phone, MSN, whatever ... isn't POF a DATING site? If you're off the market, then why stay on a dating site? Why bait the shark or be tempted by other bait if you've decided to swim in someone's fishbowl and out of the ocean? | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:52:27 AM | Hi there. I went thru that bout 6 months ago. I don't get it either. He had told me he had deleted his profile and when I looked in my favorites, there it was. He had hidden it. I was never online thruout our relationship and was pushing him as to y he still was on. I had a gut instict that he was still on, hence the discovery. When I busted him on it, he claimed he liked to read the forums. I later found out that he had many woman on here that he was trying to hook up dates w/. This site literally brought us together and it also broke us up.
From what I went thru (but all guys r not the same), he was lining up some backups. But he had never professed to luv me and want to spend his life w/me either. I'd d look into it if I were u. This is a dating site. I think if someone is still logging in, they r still looking.
Good luck to u. Hopefully ur not dealing w/a guy like the one I had. | |
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ron117
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Joined: 3/12/2004
Msg: 71 | |
| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:07:11 PM | I agrreeeee!!! If I were dating someone and was serious about her, I would not be looking online for someone else. NOT at all. Especially if it is someone I am really interested in. BUT ... here is some of what I have seen as far as this dating thing goes. Most on here, are not really in it for the long-run. They are in it for whatever else they can get. Or, in some instances ... they are looking for perfection in there dates. It is so true. When infact ... there is no one perfect nor any quick fix!
So, I have yet to meet someone serious about dating on this site, either in email or thru the actual meeting and dating. So are we all disposable on this site? What I have also noticed is this (and this is more advice for you girls) ...... if you're interesed in guy, make sure you let him know. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:14:28 PM | I am on here a lot for the forum chats. I have "met" some GREAT people who have shared books, cooking tips, and a great variety of opinions about Life, the Universe, and Everything. That is what keeps me here. Of course there are boneheads which make the rest of us look REALLY good but there have been many exchanges I have had in the forums and in email which have turned into great e-pen pals.
WD | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:26:18 PM | On this site I did find one person, after some time talking to her, she had seemed interesting etc and we had exchanged photos. I asked her to meet and eventually she tells me she's in a relationship.
Funny thing is that she doesn't say it on her POF profile, which I think is somewhat misleading.
Perhaps I should add 'not interested in any woman who is in a relationship' to my profile, to avoid time-wasters. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 8/23/2007 2:44:23 PM | eh hows it going?
uhmmmm ahhh uhm.....people are not "only" on sites for sex and relationships
ever spent a night just surfing or reading people profiles to see what they have to say and how they think? and to learn?/ so my pt is people are not only online "looking" for a relationship or sex (wont lie most of the time I am) haha..Im single..anyways Im sure you get the pt/thanks | |
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