| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:46:26 PM | | I'm not really sure. The past two men I've met have both had kids, I think that at least for one of them, they were worried about finding a woman, because they had a kid. Which is totally ridiculous. I think it's sexy to see someone being a total "daddy" cause that's what i'm looking for | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:42:46 PM | | It's for sure that you havn't met the right man... cuz my x left when I was 4 months pregnant, and I started dating my boyfriend when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant, and right from the gecko he said he wanted to be apart of my life, and my little mans life... Hes more excited than anyone else I know that he gets to be the second person in this world to hold him... im having him in 3 days and he just keeps smiling about the moment hes going to come out... I FOUND a good guy awesome one... you just gotta keep looking... as the saying says "Gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your price" ;) | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/7/2005 9:56:17 PM | | Congratulations on finding the right man, evilsweetgirl. I thought I had found someone to do that for me, but he's been a bit flaky lately. He's asked to be with me when I have my baby (I don't know the sex and don't want to) and even be put on the birth certificate, but he hasn't really shown any excitement. I'm not sure if he's really serious so he's on the back burner until I either see him or he calls me. I'm 26 weeks (but look farther along than that) so I'm getting to the point where a man in my life would be a good thing for classes and junk like that... | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/7/2005 11:00:58 PM | | I have been dating a woman with twins for about 3 and 1/2 months now. She is 23, lives w her parents, and goes to school during the night. The big problem for me is that we never get to hang out. I have asked tons of times if she would like to go somewhere fun, after she puts the kids down for bed, most of the time it's a NO. Also, when I ask to hang out at her parents house, the answer is mostly NO. I see her once or twice a week for about 1-6 hours. I honestly can't say this relationship is going anywhere, because we never get to see eachother. I adore her and her kids, and bought them something nice for their 2nd birthday, today. I've raised my brothers and had so much fun doing so. I like kids, they're fun! Now, I'm 25 and still having fun, but I would take care of her and her kids as long as I knew she is right for me. What if, when she does get her own place, we hang around eachother all the time just to find out we can't stand one another. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/7/2005 11:26:14 PM | | Some guys are totally into being part of a pregnant woman and her unborn/newborn babies lives and some aren't. I for one am, I wouldn't mind at all dating a woman again that either is still pregnant or has a baby. Since I may not be having anymore (my bio clock is ticking) I would have no problem sharing in the responsibility and joy of helping raise a kiddo. I did it once and am up to doing it again. One day maybe. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/8/2005 12:34:41 AM | | If a guy doesn't want you for that reason, then they arean't worth your time!! You are pretty, and deserve someone who will accept you AND your new baby!! Just don't look too hard, and good things will come to you. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/8/2005 7:34:54 AM | I live in Ontario, Canada.
If I were to have "a relationship of some permanence" with a woman that had kids, and if I had a higher income than the father(s) of those kids, and the relationship failed, the woman could sue me for top-up child support for the kids that she had by those other men. And she'd win.
Sometimes I just don't understand what the judges in Ontario's family courts are thinking.
By "top-up" I mean the difference between what I'd pay if the kids were mine, versus what the kid's real father pays.
Since the divorce rate for first time marriages is around 50%, and is even higher for second (or third or ...) marriages, well...
Being forced to pay child support for another man's kids would really irk me, so I just avoid that potential problem, and don't have long term relationships with single mothers. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/8/2005 11:26:55 AM | Well MissQ, I'm in the same boat as you, even sounds like we are gonna pop these little people out around the same time! I have to agree that it is lonely and a bit un-nerving to know that you will be doing this on your own, but at the same time I find it very empowering. I'm going to be bringing this little man (it's a boy!!) into the world and he's going to be someone important. He could be a doctor that saves lives or finds the cure for cancer or AIDS or he could be the next All star athlete. Most importantly, he will be mine. You won't be lonely anymore, you'll have your baby. At little tiny perfect life that is dependant upon you and you alone for everything, that's pretty important! I'm very lucky that I have an incredible support system with my family and friends and even the girls I work with. I DO NOT have the support of the father either. But honestly, what kind of man would not want to be part of his child's life? The way I see this is that it's a pretty darn good thing that he's NOT around. Do you want him there making this little one feel like a mistake or that he's not good enough for his father's love. I'm sure at some point down the road, you will have to explain these things to the baby..and I'm also pretty sure that it is not going to be easy. I know the one thing that I can tell my little guy..he's the single best thing that has happened to me..ever.
You will meet someone. We all will. Will it be tomorrow, honestly, probably not. But when it does happen, you know that you are going to be loved now by two people..not just the one you are looking for at this time. Your baby is going to give you more love than you can possibly ever imagine having!
I have friends that are going to classes with me. My mother, my two aunt's, my best friends, my mom's best friend and my brother and stepdad are all vying for a spot in the delivery room. When the time comes you will be amazed by the people who will support you!
Hang in there and take care of the 2 of you !!
I'm due December 12! What a Christmas present! | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/8/2005 11:46:24 AM | | First off, that rule isn't reserved just for women, i have 3 of my own and it scares more women off than i can count. Guys for the most part aren't ready to jump into someone elses responsibilities. Cause eventually they know if they stick there gonna have to at some point. It sucks, but that's how alot of guys think. So, just worry about u and your child, you'll run across someone who will be just as interested in your child as he is in u | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/8/2005 3:41:40 PM | | Relax, girl. You just had the baby 6 weeks ago. Almost every woman out there has gone 6 weeks or so without any serious suiters. You're very pretty, you find the right guy for fairly soon, don't worry too much about that. I wish you good luck withfinding him and good luck with motherhood! | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/8/2005 3:43:40 PM | | Hi Missy. A lot of men see a woman with children or a big pregnant belly and assume they are already married or in a serious relationship. Guys may not directly approach you for that reason, you'll have to go after them. Watch out someone making small talk, or stealing a glance at cha, but then it's your move. Good luck with finding a man who will help you with the lamaze classes, I'm sure he's out ther for ya up in Oregon. :-) | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/8/2005 5:46:29 PM |
My ex left me when I was pregnant and I just had my baby 6 weeks ago. Hardly any men seem to want to get involved with me now, atleast not seriously. I can't say I blame them but what the hell? Am I never going to be able to have a boyfriend because I have a baby? I really don't understand your dilemma. You are a beautiful woman who obviously has a lot to offer, so i dont understand how someone as gorgeous as you, with only one baby, could be scaring men off. I am a 24 year old woman, while I'm pretty like you (if you dont think so that's ok too, but i like myself and that's all that matters) I have 3 children and two divorces! If anyone should be scaring men off it'd be me, but it doesn't seem to happen to me that often. Granted, I'm sure it has, but I've never really seen evidence of it. I look at it like if it does scare a guy off, then good. If a man is willing to let an innocent child and a little responsibility scare him, so be it. I dont mean responsiblity as in wanting a man to be taking care of my kids, they have a daddy and I make plenty of money and in college now. But as in only staying out or up really late once a week. Not drinking very often, when going "out" doing good family oriented things like going to the beach with the kids. Which to me is better anyway. I still get a lot of men interested in me, and actually, weird men saying that they want to take care of me after only talking to them on the net ONLY for maybe a couple days (which scares ME off). Any man I've talked to, the children have never scared off. I'm the one that usually calls it off, not them. I've lived in diff states recently so i dont think it's my area either. I am still the same person i was before children, only much much better of a person! What makes you think this? Have they actually said that? Or could it be you reading too much into things? If not.... then.... My advice to you is...... Is your attitude different? Less talkative? Do you dress different? Are you depressed? (post partum depression, it can change you a lot) Your posture change during pregnancy due to discomfort and you not fixed it yet?? (which may make you seem less confident, and postures are important, i hate a man with bad posture) I also talk to men who are 24ish and older, sometimes in their late 30's, on here, how old are the men you are talking about? You seem in your profile (just now read it)a lot like me with your attitude, so now i really don't understand.... Well, good luck!   | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/12/2005 9:44:33 PM | personally I dont usually date girls with kids because the mothers are always so bossy. They never want to do what I have planned. They always say they have the kid and can't go out. Sure they can invite me over, but you cant always do that. I want to go out and have fun too. But the next night comes around and they phone me up and tell me where they are going (with thier friends) and I should come along. It seems to me that they always call the shots and if they dont want to take the plunge they use the kids for an excuse. And if I point that out I get called an ***hole.
This is not always but, I do see a pattern. and when you have something nice planned and ready to surprise the girl and she uses the kid card. Its very annoying.
And to be honest is it really safe to invite someone off the interweb over to your place without meeting them first? | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/13/2005 7:55:48 AM | Congratulations!!! I went thru the same thing. (July 2004) She's 13 months now! There are great men out there willing to make the effort, just weed through the bad ones and they will bloom with time. Hang in there.
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/13/2005 1:12:38 PM |
personally I dont usually date girls with kids because the mothers are always so bossy. They never want to do what I have planned
You know, this is the kind of unfair generalization that men make that irritates the feck outta me. You saying that just shows you had a bad experience and that she told you to kiss off bc you'er an ass.
I'm a mother of three, no i am not bossy. In the beginning there's no way in hell you'd come to my place, and I won't go out and "party" all the time either. in the beginning there's no reason to spend every waking moment with that person anyway. Something about absence that makes it all the better. "using the kid card" expression pisses me off. You seem like a man that demands constant attention (just like a kid yourself) There is no "kid card" and if a woman can't do things because of her kids, it should show to you that she's a responsible loving and loyal person who cares about her children. I mean really, would you want to date a woman who just dumps her kids off with anyone just to party with your selfish behind? Y ou should admire that quality. Most of the GOOD mothers, while we like to have a good time and party once in awhile, it's not a priority. We're homebodies who seek men similar to that.
My suggestion to you, your perfect woman = stripper. Stay away from the moms, or at least the moms that love their kids enough to tell you where to shove it.  | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/13/2005 6:53:49 PM | | Why would a man want to feel tied down by someone who has a child that isn't his? I mean look at how hard it is for them to deside that they want their own childern, let alone look after someone else's. . .and a lot of women are just looking for a meatstick with a pocket book, not saying that any of you are but its pretty true. . . | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/13/2005 8:14:27 PM | Your strolling along and you see a really sweet looking lady with a kid thinking WOW! But then at the same time you know she either has someone or is married so you dont act.
Happens to the guys too.
Lets get microchipped and carry single sensors??
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/16/2005 10:07:53 AM |
Why would a man want to feel tied down by someone who has a child that isn't his? I mean look at how hard it is for them to deside that they want their own childern, let alone look after someone else's. . .and a lot of women are just looking for a meatstick with a pocket book, not saying that any of you are but its pretty true. . .
sounds to me you feel a bit threatened..... beautiful women with children are a threat to you it seems.
the less competition the better, huh?
meatstick with a pocketbook, HA! I'll happily take the role of provider anyday (i make my own money tyvm) if he'll take the role of "house hubby"...
I'd worship the ground my man walked on if he took that job in stride!!! | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/16/2005 11:18:01 AM | ^
sounds to me you feel a bit threatened..... beautiful women with children are a threat to you it seems.
That is an utterly stupid statement. His statement was pretty fair and probably is a valid reason why many men avoid these situations. Not to mention, there was a case where a man who lived with a single mother was responsible for paying child support after he decided to leave her - even though they weren't his kids. The mother may have been one greedy bich and she may have won her pathetic case, but this has scared a lot of men away - along with the usual reasons. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/16/2005 11:28:04 AM | His statement was pretty fair and probably is a valid reason why many men avoid these situations. Not to mention, there was a case where a man who lived with a single mother was responsible for paying child support after he decided to leave her - even though they weren't his kids. The mother may have been one greedy bich and she may have won her pathetic case, but this has scared a lot of men away - along with the usual reasons.
that statement wasn't in response to a mans statement, but a WOMANS. Go re-read where i got the quote and look at the profile. a woman said something and i responded, not a man. maybe it was a bit sassy, but hey, i dont like being generalized. I was responding to a womans statement, that's where the *threatened* part came into play. as far as the man paying child support on a kid not his, doesn't happen here thank GOD. I myself think that is BS. I support my own children and myself. If a man doesn't want to be with a woman bc she has kids, that's his right, I just prefer a more stable responsible man anyway, so no loss here. Whether a woman has children or not, you should read the person and try and get to know them before moving in with them anyway. I for one am fairly obvious i wouldn't do such a thing. My first husband was a professional ball player. Only thing i walked away with was my share of the business we started together. As his ball money was not mine to begin with, it was his talent, not mine, that profited. Just asked for my half of the business because *I* did earn that. My advice, if you live in canada, dont move in with a woman with kids unless you move to the US *lol*
p.s. although everyone has their right to their own opinon, and some (i believe few) may agree, i dont believe that a woman with no children can speak on behalf of either us women with kids (stating we're looking for a meatstick and a pocketbook) or on behalf of men....her not having a penis and all. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/16/2005 2:41:17 PM | | It's not so much terrified, as not wanting to be put on the back burner. Single moms-especially of infants-have little time to: date, cuddle, or anything else, and are often too tired, or ****y, or both, to bother. Then, too, when not talking about the baby, diapers, diseases, etc, such moms are busy ranting about their lousy exes. Who wants to listen to that, constantly? A little of such things is ok, and understandable, but when it becomes 95% of the time, it is too much. Then, too, Why get involved with a woman who will probably dump you to go back to her ex anyway? Such is what many guys will be thinking, at any rate. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/16/2005 2:43:19 PM | | ^ Agreed. That was my experience with single mothers and that of every one of my friends who dated them. Why intentionally settle for a second-rate relationship? Unless the woman was spectacular (not necessarily talking about looks), to offset the inevitable difficulty we'll face, I wouldn't do it again. | |
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