| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/16/2005 4:55:44 PM | I've read some of the reply's thus far and agree ....including the one from another male who said" Men are selfish"...Speaking from my own experience...It can be a terrifying thing for a man....especially if he doesn't have children........I looked at your profile and it said that you are 21.....my guess would be that your looking for someone in your age group.......most "men" that age are just learning how to be responsable,just for themselves,never mind trying to be involved with a woman with an infant.....However, on the bright side as one woman put it......don't rush in ..........you will be going through a lot of changes.....as a result of your delivery........I invite any woman who has given birth to explain and help.....I've just witnessed them through my father hood.......you need to concentrate on yourself ,your baby.....and create friendships and a support group.......don't make the mistake that a lot of people in your situation make,by getting involved with someone because you are scared ,lonely and think that the only way you can do this is with a man in your life.......you could be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.......You are going to learn a new strength and resilience to your charactor that you never knew you had.......when the time is right for someone in your life you will learn.......your young.....Sometimes you need to learn how to walk alone before you can walk with someone else.....this is a lesson that Older people like myself need to learn......unfotyunatly we tend to learn very late in life and those lessons "hurt" a lot more.......
Good luck and Safe journey's with you and your gift from above.....
Vallant | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/27/2005 8:31:35 PM | well, doesn't bother me to be around babies. Usually, if there are little ones around I can be found playing with them and taking care of them. Part of the reason they don't miss the ex. I have always taken care of them since they were born. Heck when they were younger they went to classes with me all the time.
I will agree that a lot of guys are freaked by babies;in part because they are afraid of hurting them. But also because they don't know what to do if a baby cries...lol. I have seen grown men wig out if a baby they were holding began to cry...then becaus ethey don't know what to do it makes them feel powerless which isn't a good feeling at all.
Will it stop you from finding a boyfriend? Doubtful. Will just make the search a bit harder. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/28/2005 9:39:14 AM | ~hunor~
the child will always look for his/her dad, and love him dearly when he is 18 and leaves the house. any man who played the step dad during his formative years is left in the cold and unappreciated. so why even go through all the sacrifice. I tried it once and it was a thankless venture. my advice to all men, is if they go in, they should see as thankless job and should not expect anything back from the child, mother and the run-away dad. but should only say it's God's work and expect the reward from God.
men should not let the beauty of the mother fool them either. the mothers become ****es later on when they feel you have saved them and don't need your services or help any more.
I will not touch any woman with a baby with a 100-foot pole.
You may have a point about when the child gets old enough he/she will want to know about the real daddy but the reason being is because the child may want to know which parent it looks like or something like that... My dad hasn't been around much and the guy my mom is seeing and has been for 5 years i have much thanks for him...Sure i want to see my dad and i would never call him dad but i am 18 and i have met my dad before he came around and stuff... well i guess what i am trying to say is that there are two sides to every story maybe you had a bad experience but that is just one bad experience... Not all women with babies are ****es... i even consider when i date a guy or talk to a guy if i am making him feel tied down...I wouldn't want that unless he wanted to be and that means for the long haul...
So to the women with the babies or that are pregnant as I am... Consider who you are datin and talkin to and if they should just be a friend or that are worth your time and your babies time... I admit i am young and the guys in my age range are shitheads but they really don't know any better just yet... not to be a B**** about it..So i have just decided to give them time... I have a really good guy friend and if he desides to grow up and be a man them that is cool but if a guy who is already grown up and wants to be a grown-up then that is cool too...
Women in our situation have to learn to be considerate of the shitheads our age ya know...lol... | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/28/2005 9:45:16 PM | | try meeting a man eather on here or out side ,and when talking with him explane that you have a baby but not looking for a father for this child. some men think women just want a father for thier child and do get scared,and back away.if you come out with it right away this gives you time to get to know him and him you .as time passes he to will see the baby and will help you with the child and feel more comfortable being around you .never tell them that your husband or the father of the baby left you .get that part out of this profile right away .because this tells every man he is gone and your stuck with this child. what you want to do is be honest from the biggining ,yes I have a small one but not looking for a dad my child has a dad. later as time go's on he knows you and the baby. and every baby makes a man feel I want or wish this was mine not some one elses .as things go on with both of you you are getting to feel for him, and he for you, and also ,the baby soon he might even fall in love with both of you and ask for more .and they trust me I was here once it is so hard to walk out of a babys life once your in it .and the baby smiles at you and your playing with it . you bond and its not easy to walk away from feeling like a father and wanting to be with you this is very hard to do but if it works its wonderful. but you have to also show him that you care for him just as much as for your child .we all know children always come first but always have some time for him .and let him do things for you while you are cooking like change him or her or play on the floor ,or feed them something to make him feel he is apart of both of your lives .men like to feel important in a woman's life show him you love him . but allways take care of the little one first over him good luck if you work it right and he asks you to marry him you got him hook line and sinker as time go's on you can tell him that the father wants nothing to do with your child .this later on gives the man the choice to see what he wants to do .if he loves you then its in the bag he will do anything for both of you because you are both his .i hope this helped you | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 9/28/2005 10:44:13 PM | | I started dating my Ex (long story) when her son was 2 months old I have since adopted him and have never regretted it for a second. So not all guys are afraid of women with babies there is hope. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/5/2005 8:29:21 AM | This is the hdryder again.... (hi missq4ever- howyadoin?) I was looking at the posts since the last time I sounded off....
to hunor..... sounds like you got toasted man.... I got some advice for you.... the mother of your own natural children can be just the same as well....
If you look back at my first two posts, you'll see I was a man in that position...
My second wife (an ex for 6 yrs now) had 2 girls that i inherited..... and while I was the resident step da d, I was the evil monster from hell or something.... I presume that I stood in the way of them and total fullfillment in life..... for those years, IT WAS THE MOST THANKLESS, FRUSTRATING TASK I EVER PERFORMED!!!!!!!!!! Knowing the out come tho', I WOULD do it again....
The girls are both grown and gone now and a funny thing happened.... we have become best friends .....'specially since both of them now have kids of their own.... and they have had it hit them that all i was trying to do was look out for them.... they call me dad and to their kids, I am the granddad and i love the girls dearly.... i would do almost anything for them....
but to any and all who will listen..... apparently raising your own children can be about the same thankless task. there are no guarantees about any of this.... 'cuz you are dealing with human nature here and everyone is different ..... and there are no instruction manuals (and even if there were, how many of us would say that the instructions don't apply to ME?)
Take care all | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/12/2005 1:26:38 PM | You are not alone girlfriend. My baby's father left the day I told him I was pregnant. So I know how you feel. Is ther any good men out there? I don't know I haven't found him yet. You will find him though. But don't rush and don't settle for second best. Raising a baby on your own is tough but you will learn to adapt. I've done it on my own for 19 months now. Had my baby 4 months premature and she is special needs. We have been through alot. But if I can do it you can do it. Be strong. If you ever need to chat or need advice on the baby when it is born feel free to contact me. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/12/2005 4:00:17 PM | | You girls just got to hang on.Iam a single father and except the fact I might be for ever.I have great children that need me.There mother is not at all involved in there life.Ive raised my three kids alone its really lonly.I put them first,my day might come.I raised a 11mon,4yr,and my 8yr old for 2 yrs now.My 8yr is my x's from her previous relationship,Ive been there since she was 3mons old.So I accepted her and mother as a package.Now I only have her and Iam fine with that.She is mine in my heart and Iam in hers.So there are men out there,stop looking for your dream guy,they do not exsist.Look with your heart and they are there.Getting sappy just my opinion from experiance,besides lifes to short have fun now.Good-luck everyone. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/13/2005 11:10:21 AM | I think most men are uneasy with it because suddenly, women become something more than a sexual object, or just a "conquest". Suddenly, women are mothers and nurturing.
I think it's a way of weeding out the men who think of women as objects. And a way for letting men in who realize what a huge role women have in our culture and society.
I was talking to an ex the other night, and our relationship was mostly "physical", if you know what I mean.
All of the sudden he sounded really shocked and said "Youre someone's MOTHER!" like it was some HUGE surprise to him and he felt guilty or something ha. Men are weird.
Penis creatures. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/13/2005 11:37:11 AM | | Yes, it is true. Trust me. And then you have those guys that have kids, so now there are more kids involved. And they seem really sweet in the beginning, but they suck too, not the kids, the dads. And if you have an ex like mine, who refuses to marry you, but doesn't want you to date other people, it really sucks. Especially when you first have a kid and your hormones are all crazy, and you have no sleep. It's nuts. But, sorry to say, dating doesn't get easier, at least not for me. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/14/2005 1:08:39 PM | Wow legzz, such an, uhm, "uplifting" reply for lack of a better word ha.
With a new baby, it's hard, you are right. But in my case, Ive been single now
for over a year, so I feel I am ready to try again. But my baby is so young it scares guys.
It really, really sucks breaking up with someone when you are preggo.
Talk about fear and despair!!! but it all gets better. I figure the older my baby gets, the less scared the creeps will become. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/15/2005 10:17:52 AM | | dont be silly? why u looking 4 a man whennbaby so young darlin? there is plenty of decent guys out there u just need 2 find them, i had 2 kids aged 18 mths and 7 mths and i found a fella he treated them like his own, nine yrs on thats all fell apart but i now have 7 kids 5 with ex and i still have a couple of guys interested, so come on girl im sure if i can do it u can!!! not that ive took any of these offers up yet as im not ready only been split up 10 months | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/15/2005 10:28:08 AM | Its totally True, well i think this is alittle stariotypical for me its the OTHER way around.. No GIRLS want to get involved with me because I have a kid.. Ive even had them say take off that you have children from your profile compleatly and your do better if they dont know WTF?!?! thats messed....
Well im not doing that...forget it...
Does it really bug girls that much that a guy has a kid and lives with him FULL TIME!!?!?! | |
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| I completely agree
Posted: 10/15/2005 11:13:33 AM | | My ex left me when i was 7 months, said that he was scared and i am now rasing my son alone. I often wonder if i will ever find my mister right. A lot of guys want to be able to pick up and go but being a parent you cant do that because its not kust your life you have to think about. Some men also want to be first in your life. if you ever find a guy that will be there for you noth hang on to him. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/17/2005 1:10:37 PM | cableboy, I would LOVE to meet a guy whose kids live with him! For some reason, now I am so uptight around people who dont have kids. They get irritated easily, and dont like the messes and things. I would love to find someone who UNDERSTANDS the stinkie poopies, projectile vomiting, temper tantrums and some of the other wonderful aspects of parenting.
Yaknow, all of those things sounded SO GROSS to me when I was childless. But now I wouldnt change them for the world  | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/17/2005 9:21:41 PM | I agree child brings doubt to myself, and likely others, looking to start a relationship with a parent who has started a family without me. Personally I'd rather start a family, instead of hoping to be allowed to join one. As others have stated, it's no longer dating one person but a parent and x number of children.
My main draw back from dating someone who has children is not the child but the parent themself. From checking out a few of the posters on this thread there were a few who had their baby at 20 if not younger, and yes I realize some of you were older. They've still got a lot a years ahead of them and so few have passed, yet they've already rushed out there and found the wrong person to be a parent.
I don't know the individual cases with the people on this thread, but I do know the people around me who have wound up in the same situation or seem to be heading in that direction. I've seen a lot of unfortunate events and I believe the biggest losers end up being the children. I know women who left the father because they just wanted a child to themself, others who don't know who's the father, and in some cases being together because they're a family now.
In the end, I find myself wondering how did this single parent come to be. Do I really want to date someone who's been around a few blocks or someone who can't see the good choices from the bad. Without some brains beauty will only carry a person for so long. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/18/2005 2:35:42 PM | You know Weird, Life Happens. Sometimes people do things, and make decisions that they sometimes regret, or would not have made at a different time in thier lives. Its called LEARNING, and LIVING. Theres nothing wrong with someone who has "been around a few blocks". At least they are seasoned to life, and not ignorant. I wouldnt change my poor decision with my former mate for the world. I got a beautiful baby girl out of the deal. I wasnt even supposed to be able to have children, so she was a miracle baby. And I most likely will never be able to have any more. I really think that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you should lay off single parents until you have experienced life a little.
If you dont know the cases of the individuals here, why judge them? If you dont have kids and are not a single father, find another thread. Unless you know the situation, don't judge someone. That's just plain ignorance. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/18/2005 3:15:15 PM | I wasn't judging the people who are single parents on here, only replying to the question why is it so hard for single parents to find someone. Providing comfort in knowing that you've found a group of people in the same situation doesn't answer the question. There's always two sides to a story and somewhere in between an answer is usually found (one side is never right). From being aroung the single parents I know, I'd personally be very hesitant on dating a single parent when there are other fish in the sea.
Just like curiosity killed the cat, I'd more than likely let curiosity get the best of me and begin to overthink the entire relationship, that's more or less what I was aiming at. | |
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