| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/18/2005 4:14:17 PM | | Hi all, I just wanted to point out that it is really easy to fall for the first guy or women who comes along when you are feeling the way you are feeling....trust me I am talking from experience. I had my daughter in my late teens. I have been a mother my whole adult life.. At that time I was cool with being alone and enjoying my daughter...but by the time I hit my early twenties, I was hopelessly lonely... I met a guy who I thought at that time swept me off my feet....However I later realized (after marrying him) that he was only filling that empty space..As a single parent you are constantly seeking everyone's approval....It sounds like you have it with your family and friend's support.....Build up your self confidence and someday (maybe next week, maybe next year, maybe in ten years) you will find that someone special....I think one of the men made a good point that you are probably freaking out some of the men on this site because you just had the baby six weeks ago......focus on that baby and yourself and don't stress about men....nows not the time!!!!!!!!! All the best to you in the future.... | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/18/2005 4:17:31 PM | | Honestly Because I have kids it wouldnt bother me a bit. I have been in the position before where I almost step in as dad because I believe if I am with the girl I with everything she has. and she comes with kids.. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/18/2005 5:36:20 PM | | i find that the type of girl i am looking for is a girls with a child because they are not selfish & always thinking of themselves , they realize the importance of another little live ,you probably would not want one of those guys who runs away when you say you have kids , they would either turn out to be dead beat dad or just keep on being the little ****es they are , not all us boys have grown up , how ever there are the select few like my self the take pride in my 2 beautiful little girls and i will be there throught everything for them , even though i am getting screwed in court | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/18/2005 6:19:12 PM | | no most men not all of htem are afraid of hte responsibility and dont want to be bothered with it. but to be honest htere are a few good men left tht woudl be jsut the opposite in time and love your child as if he is his own. but in return if he has children as well you should do the same wiht his kids. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 11/10/2005 10:46:41 AM | In regards to weird... Well I love how u put weve rushed out and found the wrong person to have children with. My sons father although we are not together does everything in his power for his son and will take him any day of the week.. including everyweekend that he already does. So it wasnt like i found the "wrong person to be a parent" It was I found the wrong person for me. And with that said we would both get back together for our son. But who wants a relationship that you kno will never work...
It shouldnt be why men never want women with children because in a lot of cases men have the same troubles. Sometimes women dont want to grow up and be responsible when they can still be out on the weekends getting drunk. Why stay home with a kid!? I think as a mother i still get bummed out when my gfs are going out whenever spur of the moment and a lot of men dont like not being able to go out whenever. Its a cycle and works both ways.
Honesty i think everyone will find someone in time.. It jus is that it needs time. even if u didnt have a child do u think it would come with no hesitation? I dont think so... Everything takes time so why rush it. Take the time to spend with your child.. create a life and relationship with them then look for a man to come into the life you have created.
For those of you with children you have settled but most of you are just out of a relationship.. was it really ALLL good? Probly not otherwise you would still be together. So why rush into getting hurt again!? Take your time.. spend time with your kids see if they even want another man in there life that isnt there father. Maybe you might hurt your child finding another man if they are old enough to understand think of your childs needs to dont be selfish and think of yourself all the time.
Something ive come to realize after reading all of this and after having my own things come about. Who knew someone had so much to say at 19? Some people jus grow up fast and have more logic than others.
Take care ladies and gentlemen and happy fishing | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/23/2005 2:13:40 PM | | Well, I had my baby. I had a beautiful baby girl and named her Elizabeth Gail. She joined us on December 8th at 4:37 PM. She was 7lbs. 12 1/2oz. and 19 1/2". If you'd like to see pics of her, she's at www.mindygriffith.com/elizabeth.htm | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/24/2005 12:20:48 PM | | Most men are afraid of that committment. But dont take the few losers for the way of the world. Newborns and very young children are easier to adapt to as if the guy intends to stick around, then the bonding process is easier. From your photo, you are quite attractive and should have no problem getting a decent guy. As someone else had posted.. your main focus is your little guy now. The rightman will come along. Don't be too much in a rush. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/24/2005 7:33:31 PM | Hey! Hold it!
Maybe you should talk to your doc about post-partum blues?
Give it time. Spend your time and energy with your new baby. When you have come to accept your situation, and have learned to be happy with it, then start dating again. Until then you will only come across as a girl who wants someone to take care of her problems. And until then you are not doing yourself or you child any favors at all.
You are a vary beautiful young lady. Heck, if you lived near here I would give you a ring myself and I KNOW yu would shoot me down. (Something about having a son about your age) LOL
Any man would be lucky to have a young lady like you in his life. The problem is that you need to be more careful that ever now. You plainly made a bad choice with the last guy you were involved with. You can't afford to make that mistake again. If you do, you could harm your child more that you harm yourself. You MUST be careful and protect your child. give it time, a LOT of time. Be very, very careful. And one day, when you least expect it, it will happen for you.
But PLEASE don't rush it. That is the mistake that many young mothers make. It is a mistake that just makes their lives enev harder and more complicated.
Yea, the guy who gets you will be a very luck guy indeed! | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/24/2005 9:22:38 PM | sugar i was feeling like that for awhile as well but dont worry about it thier just ignorant childish boys iv actually found a man im very interested in and lol hes a single father of a 2 yr old boy youll find him just wait  | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/24/2005 9:37:34 PM | i am from tucson az i am looking for a gf you will have a
boyfriend again that not going to bad i like kids too
i am half mexican and white i am 5'11 i am going
to tucson college studying adminstive assitant will
be done in feb 06 i like sports i like going to clubs
and dances i can send pics if want i need email
ok | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/24/2005 10:36:17 PM | | It's just you. I am sure there are plenty of guys out there that would accept you, and even love your child after they got to know it. You might be looking in the wrong places. Whatever you do, do not resent that baby for a choice that you made. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/25/2005 9:39:40 AM | | Well sugar high, I have to admit I was one of those guy's before too. Until I became a single parent myself. Now it is all completely different. Maybe what you'll need to do is find a single father who will totally understand of what it means. I hope this helps you in some way. You are much too young and beautiful to be so distraught. Oh and congrat's on the baby! | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/25/2005 10:54:47 AM | Sugar High, I understand that your situation is very unfortunate in very many ways. But 1 way in which you are now fortunate is, that when you meet the right man, you will know that he likes you enough to be willing to accept your child which is not his. Shouldn't that type of man be more desirable to you than the man who left you while you were pregnant with his child? (I'm assuming it is his). If there are now many men who don't seem to want to get involved with you, you should look at the situation and be thankful that you have have now narrowed your choice of men down to make it easier to find the right 1.
Myself, as a single person with no children, I noticed that when meeting someone else, if they happen to have children, I feel that I am able to make a better judgement of that person's character, by on observing how they interact with their children. | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/25/2005 11:17:48 AM | | i just like say that i agree with you to a point ive just spent a year going through the court to see my daughter again i had bought her up from when she was born to 18 months old when my ex turned up to take her out for the day(she was only seeing her 2 days a week) and had just got with someone new and decided that she wanted her back and i wasnt allowed to see my daughter cause of the exs new partner.1 year down the line and i get my daughter from sunday to wednesday weekly so not all men are scared or responcabilities if you wanna have a chat some time get in touch | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/25/2005 8:14:35 PM | I agree that there may be an age issue concerning younger men with woman and having children. My 18 year old daughter became pregnant and her boyfriend took off like a bat out of H***. I can't wait to meet him,lol. She had her son 2 weeks ago and he still isn't around and has been with several girls since then. I don't get it either. But still, there are men out there in your age range that are very committed and genuine. There seem to be less than there was though. I'm older, but even when younger I had no problem with a girl or woman having a child by someone else or by me, loved every minute of it. I married one I met, but then she ran into a problem and left me for another woman, go figure. Life has many twists and turns, you just need to menuvure through them. You'll find someone or better yet one of those men will find you. Take care, it'll come your way.
Xelsorsior, Evangelist Michael | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/25/2005 9:39:34 PM | | i think single mothers deserve a lot more respect than they are getting. they have to cope with a child or children, hold down at least a job, maitain all teh responsibilities of being a mom, homemaker, teacher, financial planner etc....that's one hell of a job to keep up! | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 12/26/2005 9:47:37 AM | Some are, some ain't.
I have discovered in my short stint as a mom that most men see a woman with a child as a daddy-hunter. I am not saying you are doing this. I certainly am not, but my most recent ex (who I met on here, btw) told me youngest one day that I was trying to put him in the place of her daddy. Oh, I lost it.
Be patient, honey. You'll find your prince one day.
At least that's what everybody keeps telling me.  | |
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 7/24/2006 12:11:41 AM | i completely agree guys see women with kids as "Oh she has a kid she must be easy" Sorry fellas but not true at least not with me. U want me, u have to earn it with me. and that aint as easy as it sounds.
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| is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:22:12 AM | I don't think men are terrified, I think men think very logically about issues like this and see the risk involved and the potential downside to dating a single mother.
And, as always, let me qualify this first by saying this thread is asking for mens opinions about single mothers, so before anyone flips out (Yes POF mods, before you flip out on guys here ) the post is opening a can of worms on its own.
From my view, I think a guy wants to know under what circumstances a woman becomes a single mother. Did the father pass away? Was he a long term relationship that went bad? Was it the product of a one night stand? I think how the child was conceived is a large factor for guys. If the girl was banging three or four different guys in the same time frame, I can't lie, that would be a red flag to me if she got pregnant that way.
I'd also view how the single mother plans ahead for herself and her child. If getting pregnant blindsided her, sure, theres a short window of planning time you have, but many single mothers have no plan at all. No plan for their future, for any career, for any education.
The way I see it, if a guy, any guy dates a single mother. He has to ask himself if hes willing to pay child support until that child reaches 18 years of age. Even if he breaks up with that woman a year or two later. He has to ask himself is he willing to enter a relationship where the biological father may be part of his life and his relationship forever. He has to ask himself if hes willing to be put second the rest of his life in the relationship. He has to ask himself, once he helps the single mother through the tough early years of the childs life, will she shift to another guy or greener pastures? He has to ask himself if he is willing to work another 10-15 years in the rat race to help support the growing cost of that child?
What I think single mothers fail to see is, for men, rarely is there any upside at all for the guy to be dating a single mother.
And I hear the tired old " Well I don't need a daddy for my baby " Well whatever you might think, its a package deal for men. Whether he wants to or not, he has to provide some kind of influence on that child financially and emotionally if hes dating you for a period of time. Who cares if you think you "need a daddy" or not? The situation naturally means the man will end up in some kind of father figure situation for that child.
As for the questions about child support, I have seen recent trends that suggest that you won't even need cohabitation to be on the hook in the near future. All you have to do is buy her groceries once too often or cover her child care bill one too many times out of the goodness of your heart and you may be stuck for 18 years of bills. Everyone knows social programs are at the brink now. Someone has to pay for those children and taxpayers can only cough up so much for single mothers. Its going to be single men that cover that tab soon. Once that happens, it will start an avalanche of suits in the US and single mothers will never see another date again ever. | |
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