| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:50:49 AM |
I'll give you the answer a stripper gave me once. Women want confidence in a man more than anything else. Confidence is extremely sexy to women. Guys who are jerks more often come across as confident then nice guys do. Nice guys tend to come across as wimps without any self-confidence.
Of all the strange places to find wisdom... I wonder what other great truths are hidden in the minds of strippers. The self confidence thing is key, that and honesty... we want you to actually be strong, not just act macho, actually be kind not just act sweet, and actually be confident, not just act like you "don't care what anyone thinks". The act may get you laid once or twicee, more if shes naive, but eventually she's going to see through it. The acts we put on for each other cause alot of the whole "battle of the sexes" confusion. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/7/2005 3:42:08 AM | I like nice guys. I am very out going though and feel that guys should be a little that way as well.
As for the Michael J Fox. pic. I feel you are hiding something. It is hard to take someone seriously when they won't show their own face. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/7/2005 4:33:38 AM | 1. they don't know what they want.
2. they speak of what they think they should want, but not really.
3. they are playing games.
4. they are stupid.
5. all, or more than one above
6. some crap I haven't thought of in the 12-22 sec i spent just now. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/8/2005 10:12:38 AM | it is really interesting that u asked this question (i watch alot of TLC so bare with me). I saw a show on this once. A study was done in europe some where about cheating woman. And found that woman more often got pregnant by thier lovers than husbands (apparently one out of 4 guys is paying for child that isn't thiers). Thsi is due to the fact that woman are more arroused when with lovers. What does this have to do with your question you may ask...... what it found was that the woman never wanted ot leave thier husbands cause they married the sweet innocent "nice guys", average looking cause that is who they wanted ot look after thier children with them........BUT the lovers (who were more well built, better looking) for hte genetic factor. They all said they loved thier husbands and for some reason it was just about sex with the lovers. Scientists wrre trying ot prove that woman have a natural instict to still want to pick the best for genetics (natural selection) but have the "home guy" at home still.
Maybe that is why we look so confused have the time. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/9/2005 2:41:43 PM | I have think i have figured out the way to be both, and sincere in each. If I am the nice and sensitive guy when I am with my woman, but I am the tough guy to everybody else. If somebody even bumps into her and doesn't appologize, I will snag them and make them appologize, that way I am both. I am the sensitive caring guy that is looking out for her, but I in that same moment, I am the tough guy that won't take crap from anybody for even the slightest thing. So she will think he cares about me and loves me and at the same time she is thinking this guy will protect me form anything.
Does that sound good or make sense to anybody out there? | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 58 | |
| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/9/2005 4:43:21 PM | Women say one thing and mean another because we multi-task too damn much. If we focused on one thing only (like the fellas do), we'd probably be eating at the same restaurants (every week); going to the same places (year after year); watching the same TV show night after night; and wearing the same clothes until they stand straight up by themselves.
Hey, I thought it was a woman's right to change her mind! Newsflash: Humans change their minds all the time! This changing of the "brain" isn't exclusively owned by women. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/9/2005 8:51:55 PM | | I never said that people can change their mind. The idea of this post was to allow women why they cant give a simple straight answer when it comes to what they want in a man. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/9/2005 9:25:03 PM | | Hill - you're 19, the reason that women your age don't want a sensitive man, is because they have NO clue what that entails.. Trust me I've been there.. But as you get older, they do.. Welcome to being a teenager.. this will continue until you're in your mid twenties. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/10/2005 12:41:57 AM | so like ya ever heard of political correctness bro' ?..... it was not invented by men. there is only one thing tho.... be honest.... which DOES NOT MEAN TO TELL ALL..... it means to only say what you mean within the boundaries you set.....
oh yah.... and one other thing..... be a bit of a badass..... most women will always want to change that.....just don't ever let 'um do it..... at least not completely.... when they get ya completely **** whipped ..... well..... their work here is done......  | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/10/2005 1:47:04 AM | Not all women do this and when you notice that a woman you are dating is doing this dump her.
As far as women not liking needy pussdawgs, a lot of women are clueless air-heads and confuse irrational, impulsive, and stupid behavior with strength, and confuse cool, reserved logic with cowardice.
Don't base your self worth on what some bimbo thinks. Base it on your own abilities and your personal integrity and honor. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/11/2005 4:37:01 PM | A total waster of time and energy... don't try to figure them out... you will go down in flames !!!
The Womens Dictionary might give you a quick start ... the rest is up to you ..
1. Fine
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. Incidentally, never use the word "fine" to describe how she looks. It will lead to one of the arguments mentioned above.
2. Five minutes
These words actually mean half an hour. It is the equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so women feel that it's an even trade.
3. Nothing
The word "nothing" means something and you should be on your guard immediately on hearing it uttered. It is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" is signal for an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine".
4. Go Ahead (Raised eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with raised eyebrows, it actually means the opposite. The words "go ahead" are not permission to do something; on the contrary it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "fine."
5. Go Ahead (Normal eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with normal eyebrows, it should not be confused with the granting of permission either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". It is normally precedes by a few seconds a raised eyebrow and the words "go ahead", followed by "nothing" and "fine". She will speak to you again in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
6. Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but it is an important form of communication between a man and woman. It is also very frequently misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing"!
7. Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
8. Oh
This word - followed by any statement - heralds big trouble. For example, "Oh, I spoke to him about what you were up to last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, just run - do not walk. She will tell you that she is "fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.
9. That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's okay" is often used in conjunction with the word "fine" and a raised eyebrowed "Go ahead". Don't be fooled, once she has had time to plan
it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
10. Please Do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's okay."
11. Thanks
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome".
12. Thanks A Lot
"Thanks a lot" is dramatically different from "thanks". A woman will say "thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "loud sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in some way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing". | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/11/2005 5:00:34 PM | Here's another one from:
A DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Barbeque (bar*bi*q) n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde Jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n
Gotta get married in a church.
Childbirth (child*brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus...breathe...push..."
Clothes Dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half-pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n
Similar to a black hole in space: if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Lipstick (lip*stik) n
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/11/2005 6:15:38 PM | Of all the strange places to find wisdom... I wonder what other great truths are hidden in the minds of strippers. The self confidence thing is key, that and honesty...
You were being sarcastic, right?
Most of the time, women are going to interpret behavior as they see fit. The more shallow the woman is, the less she understands what the behavior really is, and the less likely she is to care. Not that women are universally stupid, some are brilliant. We don't seem to be talking about those women in this thread.
Honesty? Go out and look at the men who get most of the action in the dating scene. Majority of them are honest in the same respect that they are able to levitate objects with their thoughts alone.
I don't subscribe to the standard of pretending to be anything I'm not. But I am not going to entertain the ludicrous notion that what I am appeals to most women. Virtue and intellect are not clothing. They have to be discerned. Most people (men and women) don't do that exceptionally well.
So even if I was this self-confidant, honest, and virtuous man. It wouldn't matter. I don't have the innate charm and physical attractiveness to make it convenient for most women to acknowledge. So confidence is translated into "arrogance". Assertiveness is translated into "a napoleonic complex". Being masculine is translated in into "being scary". Ethics is translated into "being dull and opinionated". That doesn't mean I shouldn't try to live up to an ideal. It just means I should do it for myself and not for the benefit of an audience that isn't equipped to even appreciate it.
Unless a guy is also good looking and finnancially secure, most women will not acknowledge any virtues he has beyond him being a "nice guy".
Guys, don't try to play make believe for idiots who happen to be physically attractive. Just try to find someone who will accept you for who you are and if you absolutely have to have the attention of a "knock-out" go to a brothel. Life is to short to spend it pretending. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/11/2005 7:33:49 PM | | the one thing i find about POF women or any other site, is that they are to damn picky. they all want this tall, dark and handsome man. they give nobody a f****** chance. they say they want somebody, romantic, friendly, humourous, outgoing, and all that other B.S.. but most women on this site , not all, want the looks. they dont know what there missing, with some the guys in here. yeah some of the guys are the same, but i thought women where better than us.lol. well this is just my opinion.i've got more to say but in one ear out the other.just joking. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/12/2005 8:51:07 AM |
So even if I was this self-confidant, honest, and virtuous man. It wouldn't matter. I don't have the innate charm and physical attractiveness to make it convenient for most women to acknowledge. So confidence is translated into "arrogance". Assertiveness is translated into "a napoleonic complex". Being masculine is translated in into "being scary". Ethics is translated into "being dull and opinionated". That doesn't mean I shouldn't try to live up to an ideal. It just means I should do it for myself and not for the benefit of an audience that isn't equipped to even appreciate it.
MLR, I don't know you to tell whether you have charm, but if you look like the pic there is nothing physically unattractive about you. Now, there maybe some women that wouldn't care for the bald look, but there are plenty of women that do, even Telly Savalas was a sex symbol.
There is however, a fine line between confidence and arrogance as well as assertiveness and pushy and the other qualities you mentioned.
Confidence is someone that holds their head up a great deal of the time and arrogance is the guy (or gal) that claims in a profile they are handsome/pretty even though they could lose a beauty contest to Woody Allen or Phyllis Diller.
Masculine is a guy that doesn't say "Yes, dear" every 5 seconds and scary is the guy that pushes you up against your car on the first date trying to cop a feel.
Ethics is not taking credit at work for an idea that wasn't yours, dull and opinionated is the guy that talks through dinner about his hernia operation last year and how everything from the Black Plague to belly button lint can be blamed on the current administration.
See, there are some of us that know the difference. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/26/2005 8:15:07 PM | so do you notice how so many people say they want honesty and the like? why is it then that so many people flat out refuse to use websters dictionary definitions of the words they are hearing or saying? if you find yourself or someone you are speaking to often using the question, "what do you mean by that?" is it not time to do some self analysis and figure out if you are or if you are not speaking in riddles, euphemisms, doublespeak or the like....? or if the other person is doing so... it should be a no brainer, really
the example i like to use is to say, "The sky is blue". You can say this to a lot of people. You will get many responses.. perhaps yah, it reminds me of what the sky looked like on the flight to hawaii, or it sure would be nice to be out on the lake, or riding a motorcycle etc. but somewhere along the way there will be a person who will say, "And what do you mean by that? Are you trying to say I am blind and stupid? YAH! THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOUR SAYING ISN'T IT!!!! etc etc"
where does that come from? can't it mean just what it means according to the dictionary?
but to the person that would respond this way, he or she in all likelihood uses hidden meaning, sarcasm, ridicule and perhaps even overt threats of physical harm as (in their own eyes) rightful methods of communication.. i try to stay far away from these typee, myself...
it is an extreme example but it does happen... personally, i do my best to live by the following:
say what you mean, mean what you say, but never say what you mean in a mean way...
it is difficult, i don't always get it right; but it is a pretty good way to try to be. | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 10/22/2005 12:25:43 AM | HEY TRVLINGMAN, ! THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP! DUH!, sheeeesh, if you think that 'us woman' say what we don't mean, then simply just do as we say! lol jk, mabey just try the opposite! YA THINK? ps, if it was'nt for WOman, There would be NO man!....IMAGINE THAT!  | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 10/22/2005 12:55:02 AM | scream1969 msg # 11......i agree with you on this one.....a real man has those traits and more,
that includes being a nice guy,
if you really are a nice guy, women know this....we respond accordingly........however
if you are really a azzhole acting like a nice guy cause you really want to get laid...women notice this also......so be real.....acting is not cool---in a relationship
luv-ya
buh-bye now
soja  mucho | |
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| Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 10/22/2005 2:07:14 AM | Women want a man that is nice , sensitive complimentary, strong, masculine, not caring /indifferent to what others think and not needy. The total package. Each quality expressed at the appropriate time.
Timing is everything. | |
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