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| Dating an alcoholic
Posted: 12/24/2008 1:31:28 AM | OP..you need to get some counseling to figure out why you put up with loser men and enable them. Or else you will become just like his mother, doing his laundry, buying his groceries and paying his bills while he is off on a lost weekend.
This guy is not a man...he is a spoiled baby. His mother caters to him and you enable him. He's got it good with 2 little servants catering to him. | |
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| Dating an alcoholic
Posted: 3/3/2009 7:57:08 PM | I'm sorry that you are in love with a practicing alcoholic. The sad truth is that until he quits, you will never mean as much to him as his drinking does. There is a saying in AA and it is true. There are 3 ends for an alcoholic who doesn't quit. Jails, institutions, and death. I don't think you want to go there.
What should you do? GET OUT. If you can stay away long enough, things will become more clear for you. It's ok to forgive him, but do it outside of a relationship with him, not inside one.
Good luck. | |
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| Dating an alcoholic
Posted: 6/25/2009 4:42:06 PM | | This is sound advice -- I wish I was aware of sooner ... I had honestly been 'warned' to go into such a relationship with eyes open ... Unfortunately, I did not know what that meant. To care for someone so much, who is self destructing, and oblivious to anything/anyone else; never winding down, never coming down ... he is now in "treatment" -- such as it is -- my fears are real; when he gets out after three (3) ridiculously short days, then what? I am watching from the outside now also, and my heart aches. Last week, I spent what I referred to as "The Lost Weekend" with him, vainly attempting to "help" him. Sadly, he corrected me, and said, no, it was more like "Leaving Las Vegas." I was shocked that he took such a matter-of-fact attitude about "starring" in either. What you all have said is true -- he or she has to want to change and grow - for themselves; not for us. Otherwise, we are just preaching to the choir. Could I do this again? Knowingly, I don't know. Do I still want him? Never, like this! Do I still love him? Of course. | |
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| Dating an alcoholic
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:21:45 AM | Hi Bns
This may sound harsh but go, you will only get hurt more and it will eventually burn you out and change your character, I know, I have battled with alcohol for over 20 years now and fried a few people in the process, the only way he will sort it out is by being alone and having nowhere else to turn to. Doesn't matter how much he feels for you when he's sober he will keep drinking until health or professional intervention finds him and its really not a spectator sport. It's hard watching someone you care about do that to themselves so best thing for you is to walk away, draw a line under it and move on with YOUR life, seriously....
Mark | |
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