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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/11/2006 7:53:30 PM | | Don' t eat salad, if you can't make it to the bathroom on time after a cab ride home and you make it to the living room and projectile puke. The carrotes are hard to clean off the rug LOL | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/12/2006 5:14:30 PM | spagetti is one of the most interesting foods I have spilled out in the parking lot . there is nothing better then pulling noodles out of your nose  | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/12/2006 6:17:18 PM | Strung out wires or rope come upon you quick and usually unseen...gut checks don't feel good when the buzz runs off.
That and I giggle waaaaay to much for a guy and I usally say weird things or speak my mind...but who doesn't? | |
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znina3
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Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 559 | |
| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/12/2006 7:41:37 PM | that the police don't mind that ur headlight is out and that ur all pissed out of ur minds if the car is full of pretty, wet, naked girls who evidently just went skinny dipping. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/14/2006 12:15:58 PM | That your Ex-friend/lover probably is not dying to hear from you to tell them that your sorry, at 2 in the morning...
****Almost did that... | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/14/2006 1:10:34 PM | | The hardness of the butter is inversely proportional to the softness of the bread.The severity of the itch is proportional to the difficulty of the reach. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/14/2006 8:01:01 PM | That the guys don't mind if you use their washroom.
That your friend can puke right in the middle of the bar, and no one will notice.
Never tell your friend (who is male) that some jerk just flipped your skirt.
That the "last dance" of the night is a bad idea when your tall 220lb bf is smashed.
Never stand on a chair when your wearing 5 inch heels.
If you point your finger at someone they might bite it. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/15/2006 4:40:53 PM | Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious
Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.
It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.
After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her “baby” or “darling”.The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/15/2006 7:04:05 PM | If u decide to have a johnny cash on the way
home, always extend at least one arm as a
balancing aid! Failure to do this may result
in a forward stagger and a head injury! This
makes putting the old boy away much more
difficult with blood in yer eyes! lol...  | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/15/2006 8:04:11 PM | | That I can't keep a Linux Network up and running when drunk no matter how many commands I can slur out. They just don't appear on the screen right....they tend to match my slurring. There need to be a Drunk Shell. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/15/2006 9:44:44 PM | “I’m afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look like it was my fault.”
If She spill's a beer on me...... That’s foreplay.”
“Bar stools are like prostitutes. And if you think one belongs just to you, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of heartbreak.”
“My Ex never knew I drank until I made the mistake of coming home sober.”
“Waking up hungover and snuggled up in bed with the boss’s 19-year-old daughter and having to walk out of the house past his surprised ass at the breakfast table doesn’t do wonders for your career.”
Uncontrollable vomiting, falling out of a tree and a heavily overdrawn bank account may very well be elements of “the most awesome weekend.”
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/20/2006 10:47:06 PM | I LEARNED THE MAN SONG..........
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.
I don't live off of yogurt,
diet coke, or cottage cheese.
I don't blitch to my girlfriends
about the size of my breasts.
I can get where I want to -
north, south, east or west.
I don't get wasted after only 2 beers,
and when I get drunk
I don't end up in tears.
I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too.
I know what the time is
and I know what to do.
I honestly think its a privilege for me
to have these balls
and stand when I pee.
I'm glad I'm a man,
I'm so glad I could sing.
I'm glad I'm a man,
Its a Wonderful Thing
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/4/2006 12:32:52 AM | | When I drank too much, I wanted to lie down and when I lied down....my stomach was so full of booze that I had to roll over....and when I did that, the ceiling would spin, and spin, and spin, really! really! fast!...and if I couldn't slow it down some how....I would have a pukey time explosion all over my carpet....one other thing.....the cops did NOT like being called pigs....and I always thought I was more handsome braver and smarter when sauced up...but alas...that was just a drunken dream.... | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/5/2006 4:53:02 AM | It’s so much easier to ring up those old girl friends and explain exactly where they went wrong.
7-11 nachos with extra cheese substitute and chili only taste good when you can’t remember eating them.
Bad ass nicknames like “Chuggybear,” “The Alabama Hamma,” “Pukey McPukerson”
are not awarded to people who stay home to do laundry.
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