| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/6/2006 1:21:28 AM | It's impossible to find a key in the sand in the middle of the night while drunk.
It's next to impossible to find & chase a black dog after sharing a bottle of tequilla with 2 friends at 4am.
a real friend will help you clean up the vomit the next day.
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:34:23 AM | When you are on medication that says "Do not consume Alcohol with this Medication".....
DO NOT CONSUME ALCOHOL WITH THIS MEDICATION!!!!
JJ
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/14/2006 10:12:22 AM | ~To not get into shopping cart, with drunk sister pushing.
~To not get sick in bathtub instead of toilet... because it looks bigger. (messy)
~To not call ex-boyfriend.
~To not try to have serious conversation with ANYONE.
~To never call 911 no matter how bad YOU think it is. (because it never is)
~To not look up at bouncer and say "well I think I could kick YOUR ass!"
And finally... To NEVER pass out with people who you THINK you trust... | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/14/2006 11:56:39 AM | Buying a strange woman a drink is cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.
Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.
If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/15/2006 9:52:39 AM | 1) Do NOT drink all of the drinks that are sent to you at your table on your birthday, then jump up and try to dance, the floor hurts when you hit it!
2) Do NOT ride, sitting next to other drunks ( UP ) on the back seat of a dune buggy (especially being the one on the outside edge) when you fall sideways, the tire is TOO close to your FACE! (there was an angel from somewhere riding with me that day), don't know how I got back up in correct sitting position.
3) Do NOT go into a swimming pool so drunk that someone has to pull you up out of the water (after you've passed out) to keep you from drowning!
4) Do NOT try reading *Helter Skelter* or any other murder stories before going to sleep. (the dreams are WICKED!)
5) Do NOT start your evening flirting with the most handsome man you've just met in a bar only to find out that the next morning.. (YOU "CAN" DRINK AN UGLY MAN *HANDSOME* but you "CAN'T" DRINK A FAT MAN *SKINNY*.) 
Only a few of the reasons I stopped drinking, MANY YEARS AGO.  | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/15/2006 10:49:54 AM | The top "dumbest thing" I believe I have ever done while drinking was....(this is classic)
This one night a longggg time ago, I was over at a friends place where she was hosting a great party...She lived in a townhouse/condo whatever those kinds of places are where all doors leading into a living space all look the same and there close together...
Anyhow, I went out on the front sidewalk well into the party, to get some air, and have a smoke...by this time I was HAMMERED! Anyhow, after spending probably close to an hour outside, talking to people passing by, listening to music pounding thru the street...I decided it was time to go back inside the apt, and be social....
Well I must have turned myself around somehow, ended up going into another living space, finding NO ONE was in the living room, music was off, food was put away, I naturally thought everyone in the party was playing a trick on me (cause usually I am the trickster, so there getting back at me)....So I go walking thru the house looking for any sort of life, thinking WOW there good, NO Sound at all... lol...basement, backyard, bathroom...Then I got to the upstairs walked into a bedroom where a couple was sound asleep....I just about S*it my pants, as I then realized that it had all hit me, that I was in the wrong apt....LMAO! So I snuck out FAST and locked the door behind me!!! When I think back on that time....I could of gotten myself shot!!! LMAO! What a night, what a night..... | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/15/2006 10:53:35 AM | | ....(I forgot to add this to the end of my post cause I was AGAIN laughing so hard at my stunt) I've learned if you GET TRASHED at a party where all doors leading into the living space look the same...When going outside drop a trail of smarties so you can follow them back up to the RIGHT door when you are done....*giggle* | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/15/2006 11:02:49 AM | Drinking Toasts ......
There are good ships, and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.-- Here's to the women who love us.......
If the ocean was vodka and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and drink it all up,
but the ocean's not vodka and I’m not a duck
so pass me the bottle & lets get PHUCKED UP!!
Here's to the woman who wears the red shoes
she smokes all my pot and drinks all my booze
She no virgin, but that's not a sin
She's still got the box her cherry came in.
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/16/2006 6:23:32 AM | | ...that just because I’m wearing pants out that night doesn’t mean I can go through the door displaying a person with pants when nature calls… | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/16/2006 10:57:23 AM | | do not do shots then talk to the female coworker you hate the rest of the year at the office christmas party.getting yelled at the next morning in the bosses office with a hangover is not fun. | |
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babs3
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Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 592 | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/17/2006 6:07:13 AM | do not tie your arm to your friends arm and see how fast you can drive down the hiway.
do not use the windwipers to keep from falling off the hood of a car. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:54:10 AM | NEVER EVER carry all the cash you have on you by the end of the night IT'S GONE
bouncers dont want you to hit on them
if you get into a bar fight, make sure your ACTUALLY HITTING the person
eating seafood + drinking vodka = bad times
running in heels IS NOT GOOD
riding on the hood of a car isnt a smart idea
NEVER try to have a 3sum w/ your best friend b/c you think she likes you | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 1/12/2007 10:03:52 PM | This one comes from a friend of mine who claims he has done it..........
"No amount of alcohol that has been bought for you and drank by you can ever justify having a one-night stand with Rosanne Barr!"
I asked him if he wanted me to send him somewhere to be castrated. He's still thinking about it. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 1/13/2007 2:23:44 AM | i have learned.....
bouncers don't stand around the dance floor cause they want to grind with random girls
salad before a night of drinking is a bad, bad idea
sitting on a stool with no backing, is a bad idea
the guy that was just dancing on the table apparently wasn't dancing just for you
after a hockey game, going to a bar, already HAMMERED, telling the bouncer at the door that the picture on your ID isn't really you cause you think it's hilarious, isn't too smart to do... especially when you promised your friend you would be at that bar for her birthday
oh and getting out of a car with a hotdog in your hand, without looking where you are going, while theres a lot of snow on the ground... also isn't a good idea (refer to my picture on my profile)
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 1/13/2007 1:17:59 PM | Wearing high heels when your drunk... bad idea... you WILL fall.
Wearing a skirt when your drunk... You'll lift up... squat PISSSSSS in someones yeard <--- bad idea.
Having a boyfriend when your drunk could be bad depending on how well tyou control yourself... for me... its a bad idea.!
trying to kiss a random dog... he WILL bite you...
Telling your inter most secrets to a stranger... not so good. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 1/14/2007 10:24:44 AM | So many lessons I've learnt....which one do I tell you about...
* don't go on the mechanical bull when your drunk....tried it and I fell wrong and sprained my wrist....
* do not attemt to make jello shooters when your drunk...I came home and had to make them for the next day.....Anyway....I made the jello and was about to pour them in my little cups...and looked over and saw the Malibu sitting on my counter.....damn...had to make it all over again....
*Karoke singing.....I think I'm better when I'm drunk....but I still suck.....
*beer, wine, champaign, jello shots and porn stars...do not mix...learn't that one, New Years Eve......
*One more lesson....I suck at pole dancing.....
OK...well maybe I didn't learn my lesson....cause I still do all those things......
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