| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/26/2005 2:28:32 AM | That when you wake up in the morning next to a strange naked female have the following questions ready to go:
1) Who are you??
2) Where are my clothes??
3) Where are we??
4) What did we do last night that's going to make me swear off alchohol? | |
|
| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/26/2005 4:05:12 AM | | ey Garf, my first car was a '69 camaro. The floorboards were in really bad shape. Welp, after drinking a few, my brother and I decided to find some sheetmetal. I'm sure you can imagine what we came up with..These days it's like a major offense to take down a street sign. | |
|
| |
| |
| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/26/2005 2:14:18 PM | There's always that Prayer Promise that this is the last time i get this drunk if god just helps me through this night.
Lord please forgive me for breaking that one again & again | |
|
| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/27/2005 2:01:06 PM | | that while watching one of the muppet movies that the creator was sexist. The only woman on that show is 1) A MAN CRAZY PIG AND 2) A LONG HAIRED BAND PLAYER WHO I AM SURE IS A LESBIAN! | |
|
xchuck
|
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 107 | |
| |
| |
| |
| |
reen
|
Joined: 10/29/2004
Msg: 111 | |
| |
| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/3/2005 11:13:36 PM | No matter what you may think at the time....
The Ball pit at Mcdonalds is not nearly as deep as you think it is
The F250 parked next to you did not challenge your manhood... and no tackling it for its grieveous error does not work
Crashing a parety for female police officers will result in 15 phone number that read "911" (they must be room-mates)
The phrase "hey y'all watch this" may end with hiliarity but usually a trip to the hospital
One can not snorkel in an aquarium
Tractor tires are not just for tractors
Her body language may say yes, but the mace says no
The black panther at the zoo is not a "pretty kitty" and it does not want to play with you
Wolves however are " 'lil puppies" and will play with you. you're friends however will run away.
You can not ride an ostrich
You can ride a great dane
An umbrella, a roof, and a fake britsh accent does not make you mary poppins
Sometimes the gun IS loaded
When approached by an officer while riding the springy kids toys at a playground do not shout "i'm floggin the dolphin, what's it look like im doin?"
sadly all of the things listed either i, or my friends have done... ok... mostly i...
 | |
|
xchuck
|
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 113 | |
| |
j-roc
|
Joined: 5/24/2005
Msg: 114 | |
| |
| |
xchuck
|
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 116 | |
| |
| |
xchuck
|
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 118 | |
| |
| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/4/2005 12:34:36 AM | Upside : after many a tankard of ale..I truly feel like royalty
Downside : when my defenses are down ladies take advantage of me.........
why dont they do it when im sober and better able to experience it | |
|
| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/4/2005 9:17:03 AM | That a mans family jewels looks very differnt while laying on the floor looking up!!!!
funny story, was the drunkest i'd ever been in my whole life!!!! was hugging the toilet, passed out on the floor, when I woke up, i woke up to my ex-boy standing over me peeing in the toilet... a pic. i'll never forget !!! hahahahah | |
|
| |
| |
| |
xchuck
|
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 124 | |
| |
| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/4/2005 3:25:38 PM | When you get thrown in the drunk tank, don't flush your cloths down the toilet as a way of a peaceful protest cause you'l be stuck getting stuff from the lost and found and it's usually pretty gay stuff. Like a super tight Ernie shirt and flooded pants, halfway up your shins. lol and having to walk back accross town to get to truck ..and wearing your big steel toe daytons caps off the look.. shit... feel pretty dumb.
chris | |
|
Home
login 
