| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/30/2005 12:10:51 PM | Truly nice guys, or women for that matter, are not nerds, spineless door mats, insecure, or insincere. They are, quite simply, really good people who treat others as they expect to be treated themselves.
I know that in any relationship it takes time to get to really know one another, but, if you are both "nice" people and flexible, then you learn from each other as your relationship matures.
I was fortunate enough to find the best "nice" guy in the world, and we had five wonderful, loving, caring, years together. He died suddenly, and totally unexpectedly, from an aneurysm on his aorta which caused a massive heart attack on June 11th this year. In many ways, he is still with me, and I know that I will always love him. I thought I could ease my feelings of being completely alone by chatting on this website, but I guess I'm in the wrong place. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/30/2005 12:25:01 PM | | I have to object using the word nice to describe a good decent person. Sure it looks good at dictionary.com with the 4th definition being: Of good character and reputation; respectable. Why do people still feel compelled to state that he is a nice guy? Since some people may feel that if you have a good character quality or are respectable on every single date, then you are weak. This can't be farther from the truth since it takes more work to be good then bad. It takes a man to admit to his mistakes as well. So if a guy wants to describe himself as nice then more power to him. But that same word is a let down to some, you have to be more than just nice to be a romantic guy. | |
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guyd39
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Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 273 | |
| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/30/2005 12:36:04 PM | | You’re absolutely right, they always come back. The thing is, I’m very intelligent and no longer there when they do. I moved on since, but always end up being treated like crap and being taken advantage from, and the cycle starts all over again. It’s a never ending thing. I’m 40 now and it’s all I’ve ever been in my life. I gave up all this bullshit and am now single, dating but do not want any strings. Foe the very few good woman left, they wonder why good man are so rare but mainly so bitter? Go figure… | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/30/2005 1:00:02 PM | | Poorgie your point is well taken a "nice" man partly defined as "of good character and reputation". And people of good character dont blame others for their lot in life. People of good character can still have safe consensual sex, but, I wonder what that will do for their reputation? | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/30/2005 2:36:57 PM | I agree it is not nice to have sex with just anybody for that instant gratification. A "nice" guy would want to form some kind of meaningful relationship and would more likely ask for a commitment before giving his heart away or having wild animal sex. Since "nice" guys are on a journey to find true love.
Nice guys may seem old fashoned or geeky, but bottom line they are smarter. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/30/2005 8:03:22 PM | i find myself having to respond to suzy again,,,man this is habit forming
suzy , right now i am currently with a very nice woman
NOT FROM P.O.F. mind you , but then again when i was single and just mingling i noticed that even when most women say they are nice and looking for the same
WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN IS THAT THEY ARE NOT LOOKING FOR US GUYS
good quality ,hard working,caring ,sensitive yet with strength to stand up for themselves or loved ones if needed
this is what they want
CHISSLED BODY
KILLER LOOKS
MEGA MONEY
FAST CARS
WILD LIFE
BAD BOY ATTITUDE
etc, etc
need i say more, now dont get me wrong im not saying that there is something wrong with guys who have these things ,but what i am saying is that nice good guy types ( myself not included ) dont stand a chance
beleive me with all these so called women who are claiming that they are tired of game players , its funny how they all end up running back to them
and then a guy like me is called shallow GEEEEESH | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/30/2005 8:34:26 PM | oh and by the way suzy,,, the reason why i never hooked up with these nice gilr friends that i have is because we grew to a friendship first without the sexual inuendos or any confusions
sure , some of my female friends i would dat but why risk the frienship,besides i havnt seen any signals anyways so i know everythings cool. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/1/2005 3:35:56 PM | Nice guys don't need to test drive anyone before he makes his mind up who he wants. Nice guys will make out in the end. They don't take advantage of a  women. They will  the family and then  sleep. Go to bed an  knowing they did good. Go  on the weekends with his girlfriends kids while bad boys  . Fall in  before and before thinking about some  nasty sex.
 
so what would you rather have? | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/1/2005 5:26:09 PM | Mace: I might be the only girl on POF who hasn't been played by a man... with the exception of my ex-husband. But his game was "Let's see how much money I can steal and how many bad checks I can write before she catches on?"
Maybe I've been fortunate in that way. Maybe I'm USUALLY a pretty good judge of character. Maybe I'm so cool that they came to play and decided to stick around for the fun. 
I want to be friends first with someone.. and I do want a nice guy (but as my profile says.. nice doesn't equal boring). I don't want to be blinded by sex either. Passion can make you overlook important incompatibilities. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/1/2005 7:59:02 PM | | Umm, hold on there macefeitu, I dont think we are talking the same language. There are many nice guys, with good hard bodies, good looks, good money, a nice car, and lead interesting lives. Are you saying you are just a big dud all around? | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/1/2005 8:41:45 PM |
CHISSLED BODY
KILLER LOOKS
MEGA MONEY
FAST CARS
WILD LIFE
BAD BOY ATTITUDE
Nice shopping list.
I'll take the chiseled body on my NICE GUY, please!
the rest..... | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/5/2005 2:51:05 PM | do i look like a dud to you pal....?
i guess you didnt fully understand what i was trying to say .
i said that there is nothing wrong with having what you have ,, because you worked your a$$ off for it, but if these are the reasons why women want to be with you and overlooking whats on the inside ,, how good are you gonna feel?
i know what i can offer someone when im in a commited relationship , too bad its pretty much the a$$holes that are having a good time at a good guys expense | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/6/2005 11:00:28 PM | I haven't had time to read every post on this thread so forgive me if some (all) of what I write has been said. Speaking as a 100% "nice guy" I can relate to almost every story/point that I've read even though I'm only at the tender age of 24. I think we nice guys (subconsciously or not) do expect some kind of return for being the people we are. Whether it's having higher standards than we probably should or expecting that a certain female friend of ours should suddenly wake up and pick us, deep down we have to believe we will be rewarded at some point because being the shoulder to cry on isn't the greatest job in the world.
I don't think nice guys start off feeling this way though. As far back as I can remember having conversations with female friends, it was just instinct to listen intently, give honest advice and just be there for the other person even when it was emotionally draining or when I wanted to be more than just friends. Skip ahead 7-8 years and hundreds of emotional conversations later and I've started to question if I like who I am in this regard. There have been many occasions were I wished I could be a jerk, not because I think it will get me women, but because being a nice guy can really errode your self esteem. My female friends convince me that personality wise I'm exactly what a lot of women are looking for... well that's a half decent confidence boost, but it never pans out (at least not on here thus far). I can't speak for all the "nice guys" out there, but for me it's become a hard task maintaining confidence, a positive outlook, and staying realistic in my expectations.
Most recently (especially after reading a lot of threads here) I've begun to think I should just spend a few years collecting enough money for a nice car, clothes and whatever else it seems will impress a lot of women. That's not something that would be hard to do with my education and promising career future, but it's never been who I am because I'm concerned with being happy, not rich, first and foremost. However, if that's what it will take to attract a lot of women (and I mean the very attractive ones who are also nice) then maybe that's a solution, albeit a depressing one.
I kinda went off on a couple tangents so I'll end by making this point. Nice guys have a personality that will enhance their attractiveness, but only if you get to know them. Unless you are completely unattracted to someone, is it really that tough to give them a chance? And hey, even if after a few conversations you still arn't attracted to a nice guy, you will now probably have one more shoulder to cry on or a thoughtful person to talk to about life  | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/7/2005 1:07:32 AM | "100 % nice guy" eh? And how was that measured? Probably by the same "nice o meter" that scored me 142% nice guy, and its that extra 42% that gets me the women.
Time for a reality check! | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/7/2005 8:04:58 PM | | It's based on how I stand compared to every other guy I've known in my life and the characteristics that are usually ascribed to "nice guys". It's also measured in the many hundreds of hours I've spent trying to help females in my life with their problems and their opinion of me because of that. I'd go on, but there are some things I'd rather keep private. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/7/2005 9:07:47 PM | ChildofSuburbia,
If I ask the girl out and she says "No, I have a boyfriend.", I usually walk away and
never look back. Sorry, man, but I don't play that friend sh**. If a girl doesn't dump
her boyfriend for me, it's not worth even being friends. You'll just get your feelings
hurt. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/8/2005 11:56:43 PM |
If a girl doesn't dump her boyfriend for me, it's not worth even being friends.
If she did that to him, why wouldn't she do that to you? It seems to me that if you want a girl to dump her bf for you, then you aren't a very nice guy. If she DID dump her bf for you, then she isn't a very nice girl. Who wins out here?
A commitment is a choice you make over and over again, not just when it's convenient. No one should ever expect, or ask, another person to break their commitments. It's just not what nice guys and girls do. Seriously - be careful what you wish for. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/9/2005 12:33:32 AM | | I'm not so sure that women are really after one or the other. I don't want a "Nice Guy" and I don't want a "Bad boy"......how about somewhere inbetween!? | |
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jpoo07
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Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 292 | |
| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/9/2005 12:59:51 AM | 
CHEERS, TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You said, everything well. Hit the nail on the head. Couldn't have said it better myself.
Everyone's NICE guy depends on the person looking. I thought I had a nice guy from this sight, but he stopped e-mailing. I am guessing because I did not call him.
Oh, Well!
Anyways........ I like what you said.
Later,
Jpoo | |
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jpoo07
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Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 293 | |
| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 10/9/2005 1:04:15 AM | Sassy Scot,
You are not alone. I understand your reaching out to others. I too have lost my special someone. Mine was 5 years ago. I am just now getting back into the swing of things.
So, hats off to you for jumping back in too!
Hang in there. We ALL have someone SPECIAL waiting for us.
Later,
Jpoo | |
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jpoo07
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Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 294 | |
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jpoo07
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Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 295 | |
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