a_vamp
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Joined: 4/24/2004
Msg: 51 | |
| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 9/15/2005 1:20:21 AM | Ok, its not that I'm trying to talk bad about a deceased person but I think it was not very nice of your late hubby to say he din marry you for beauty... Its quite mean in fact. Every woman wishes that she's the most gorgeous thing her man had ever set his eyes on.
When I'm in love, I don't care if everybody under the sky thinks that my lover is ugly. To me, he's the most charming men I've ever met and I will MAKE SURE he knows that.
So if we're talking about physical beauty here, then my answer would be a definite "Yes". Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 9/19/2005 6:58:27 AM | a vamp... Your words are exactly what I wish he would have said and since he didn't it caused the trouble. I hope that if ever I find someone to share my hopes and life with. I hope that person will think I am the most gorgeous thing if he is the only one who thinks so. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 9/19/2005 7:44:46 AM | I always thought the beholder was the person who HAD (or held) the beauty - or believed they had it.
So if person A goes to the hair stylists and hates their hair cut, their haircut isnt beautiful beacuse it isnt to them. It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks because we all have different tastes.
If they go the hair stylists and LOVE their hair cut (even if its kooky in other people's views), its beautiful, because in their mind it is.
If you change the way you think of yourself, you will change the way others think of you. That goes for however that might be expressed, beautiful, big, ugly, whatever it might be. We go by our own definition of beauty, and that is how we make choices.
Pagey, I think what he meant was it didnt matter what you looked like, he loved you anyway. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 9/23/2005 7:29:13 AM | | to each of you that have responded to this thread and to any that will. I do think beauty comes from within and beauty is in the eye of the beholder or beheld. I am trying to walk every day and drink water and eat sensibly. I know this slightly off the thread but thought if any are still following this you might like knowing what is happening to the inner outer beauty. I hope to lose 120 pounds with support of others. It is for health reasons. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 9/23/2005 7:34:06 AM | a beholder is whoever is doing the beholding
If you look in the mirror are are beholding
If someone is looking at you they are beholding
if that word gets stuck in my head I'm going to be very annoyed. | |
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Roaul
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Joined: 4/14/2004
Msg: 56 | |
| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 9/23/2005 7:44:15 AM | | racebaby your beautys is in th way you conduct yourself an havin read two of your replies wow your gonna make some guy a lucky man you've beauty of face and heart and soul,to the lady who started this thread think of yourself like vintage wine the longer it take to mature the tastier the wine pity your husband did not see this.. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 9/24/2005 4:20:13 PM | My sis pointed out something to me today that caused me reflect. She said that I have begun to change and it is because I am slowly beginning to realize that beauty does come from within. Keep up the great support. I need it. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 9/30/2005 11:32:53 PM | | Sometimes I feel a glimmer of beauty and sometimes I get to feeling down about myself and think I am not beautiful only slightly pretty. It is a slow process. It just doesn't instantly happen. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 9/30/2005 11:39:50 PM | "Beauty" is more than just physical aspects...and what makes a person "beautiful" goes waaay beyond their appearance, their figure, etc...
You know how you have passed a child that just was...well...funky looking?! Obviously their parents look at them and see the most beautiful creature on earth! THAT is what love does...it really is blind...and when we fall in love with someone's inner beauty, they become beautiful to us in every aspect! | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 2:54:54 AM | | I think beauty go's much deeper then the eyes can see, beauty to me is a childs laugh, a soft touch, a kind word, a feeling inside oneself for someone else that is blind to outside interfearance and perseption | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 8:48:18 AM | | One thing that I have really discovered, and truly now believe, is that inner beauty is the greatest gift we have been blessed with, and the most beautiful gift that we can share with a partner. I have always considered myself just an average looking person and have never felt any discomfort or shame from that. What I now know, is that when I am feeling happy and joyful and confident, and just let the inner beauty shine out, it also becomes a transformation on the outside as well. I have had so many friends ask me recently what have I done differently lately (referring to exterior work, LOL). Absolutely nothing, any change is the result of recognizing and embracing my own inner beauty, and sharing it with those around me. So in my mind, the one who really needs to buy into the beauty is in the eye of the beholder philosophy is truly myself, about me! | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 9:24:59 AM | | lippyblonde.. all those years ago that is what started all this.. that was my view. Some aspect of me was beautiful. Sure as I have matured I have changed and have developed less naive ways of handling situations but still there is the basic me. The person who wishes to be beautiful to the special someone. Some say dream on and some say don't let it bother you so. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 10:36:21 AM | If you can find the beauty within yourself and release it into the world then everyone will take notice! It all starts with yourself and how you shine to others. I've seen a million diamonds in the rough but I'm just waiting to be blinded by the light and that's not going to be from the beauty on the outside but from within.
Just continue to be beautiful you. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 1:10:52 PM | great post lippy!! there is so much truth in that..
you can love another until you love yourself. and that don't mean in love with yourself as in stuck on yourself.
you have to be content with yourself and happy with your self.. no magic realtionship is going to cure that.. in time it will only resurface..
another thing is opening up to others.. you will find the more you open up to others the less messed up you are..  just becarful what you tell them.. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 1:22:11 PM | My math takes me to the answer he was around 75 when he passed. I'm getting more and more honest or maybe even deliberate in my answers as I get older and I'm not yet near that ripe old age. Peoples perception of beauty changes as do people. I'm certain he was doing a conversation stopper. It's an old guy thing. They say something patently offensive and watch for a response. I see it all of the time. If you two were growing old together but at diff. rates I could see that happening.
Do you think you are beautiful physically? Are you offended if someone thinks you aren't? Personally I'm a freaking hideously ugly person physically. And yet I have friends. Or so that's been my opinion, There are a lot of very handsome men on this site. I resemble none of them. I'm good with that. Beauty is in the person not the package. For the record you look okay to me. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 1:43:29 PM | ladypagey, you are the age you are at and LOOK AT YOU!
I think you are a gorgeous woman and I'm sure you were gorgeous back then.
The people who can't see beauty in you are those who can't see the beauty in themselves. Don't take what he said to heart, his perception was innacurate and some people are just insensitive about a woman's need to look desirable for her mate.
And about "inner confidence"...yeah to a degree it's important but it is also important for a man to let his lady know that she IS DESIRABLE...as much as possible.
Or he ain't getting any LOL! When a woman starts to feel unattractive to her mate, you can pretty much throw out any future sex...it's over dude.
And curiously, if her husband wasn't passed away right now, how would the opinions here differ.
Death does not make us saints, it just makes us deceased. Sorry...but it's true. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 7:24:08 PM | | blastkist.... I totally agree with every word you said. It causes problems in ways that go on forever. That is you if let the problems go as I let the problems sit there unchallenged and untaken care of. This thread is to let people know that their words said can do damage and sometimes the spouse does not realize the damage until way later. At the time I froze inside and sure the surface was there but the rest of me was frozen. I did not feel< I just existed. I made the meals, washed the clothes and just existed and had a massive stroke at 29 years old. I had the stroke 6 days after my daughter was born I had to think, walk and relearn a lot. Recently I have started to realize I needed more out of life than just work and home. This is about me, as a live person who wishes to go forward completely and totally feel at least pretty. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 11:28:40 PM | ladypagey...I commend you on the courage you show and the determination and grit too.
I know what it is like to be called horrible things and to be cast down. It is very painful to experience, especially by anyone who claims they love you.
Yes, words can damage when you are vulnerable to them and I was, for many years...sometimes I think of the things that were said and it still hurts, so I try not to think about them...but some people hurt others for reasons I don't understand.
You are not alone in the feelings you have had and I know how it is to feel that you just don't matter to anyone. It's such a lonely place to live in.
But just look at you now! You rock dear lady and I'm so happy that you keep on keeping on...you have great courage! | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 11:49:49 PM | What a jerk! Sorry but if he didn't find you beautiful after all those years together..and on top of that..he was almost 23 years older then you when you got married..then sweetie..throw those words of his out the window..and look in the mirror. You have a radiant smile and never ask a man again if you are beautiful. You should be told..that's a given. And yes beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Myself, I would like to think you aren't holding anything for him now. Best wishes.  | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/1/2005 11:58:50 PM | | blastkist.... Thanks for such praise. I hardly know what to say. I feel if my story helps at least one person. Then I feel I will have achieved what I set out to do. That is to help people who hear am I beautiful.... say yes please say yes. That is what love is all about. Loving the person enough to praise them and find them desirable and worthy of praise. I am so sorry blastkist you have went through so much and I burst into tears when I read your post. You are a very beautiful lady and man that wins you will have a great person. | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/2/2005 12:28:07 AM | ladypagey,
You are a beautiful woman. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. I once dated a guy who constantly leered at other women and said how others were so beautiful. I later realized he was a very insecure person who wanted to keep me all to himself. By making me feel so undesirable i felt that no one would want me except for him. After awhile i woke up and realized what he was doing and left him. He then said I would never find anyone as nice as him. He was so WRONG! I am now in a great relationship. I have found the love of my life. He makes me feel good about myself. And he makes me feel good in the relationship as well. In the future please don't settle for anything less.
Jenny :) | |
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| Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/2/2005 8:33:29 AM | | HarleyKat...great reply. I looked through some photo albums the other day and saw a picture of myself at about one month old and gawd, I looked like some bird that fell from the tree. All I remember is my Mom telling me my whole life how I was the most beautiful baby...her eyes were blind to imperfections but her heart..well..she was a woman with a beautiful heart. Another thing...a dear friend of mine is legally blind and she met this new man. She phoned me and said 'he is the most beautiful man you will meet'. Course I knew what she meant because she doesn't go by what she sees with her eyes but what she feels with her hands and heart. And nasty boz don't go imagining where her hands are lol...Cheers. | |
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