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 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 76
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Beauty in the eye of the beholderPage 4 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
acen8s... beauty in the eye of the beholder means just that. It means not seeing an ugly person as ugly and looking beyond the skin to their personality and the very essence of them. Wives need to know they are number 1 and always feel desirable and lovable and not frozen to life.
 The_Muskokan
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 77
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/2/2005 7:53:06 PM
Absolutely!

Speaking from experience, I’ve dated some attractive women that only had their outward beauty to go on. I’ve also dated some that that I found very attractive, but after going our separate ways, friends had some less then complimentary things to say. Yet I found them to be very attractive in my eyes and really didn’t care what they thought.

When you get to know someone you tend to look less and less at their outer beauty, and more and more at who they really are. And that’s what most of us “fall in love” with.

I’d rather find someone that can make people around them feel good about them selves, then to be with someone who is a “model” and as shallow as they come.

But hey, that’s just me.

Cheers,

Anthony
 SeaAngel
Joined: 5/8/2005
Msg: 78
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/2/2005 9:17:08 PM
I feel beautiful because I want to be part of God's plan.
I act beautiful because I care about God's beautiful creations.
I think I am beautiful because God doesn't make mistakes..people do.
I am beautiful because to say I am ugly is a slander on God's creations.

We are all beautiful. Why is it so hard to say that?
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 79
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/3/2005 12:31:27 AM
muskokan... inner beauty is where it is at... That is the basic truth and where the inner light and beauty comes from. Not necessarily the outer package and just look around at the varieties of looks. Outer looks fade and the inner beauty is there for all to see... seaangel... God created different packages to house his inner beauty for us.. We did not all get blessed with outer beauty like you. Some of us have outer packages that aren't always model material but the inner beauty is wow.. Beautiful personalities can be housed in unusual outer packages. Then sometimes uncaring words early in life can come along and reach out and scar a person's perception of how they look. I am not saying I am ugly internally or that the outer shell is ugly I am saying the outer shell is slightly pretty. That is my perception of my looks outwardly. My inner beauty is beautiful. No question about that. God knows how I feel and why I feel as I do.
 a_vamp
Joined: 4/24/2004
Msg: 80
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/3/2005 4:53:11 AM
Posted By: ladypagey on 9/19/2005 6:27 AM

a vamp... Your words are exactly what I wish he would have said and since he didn't it caused the trouble. I hope that if ever I find someone to share my hopes and life with. I hope that person will think I am the most gorgeous thing if he is the only one who thinks so


Sorry for not seeing your reply earlier Pagey. I'd been tied up with work and furnishing my new home.

Oh well... Gorgeous or not, just remember that we all have a place in God's heart. And yes, I do hope you'll find a person who'll cherish you for who you are.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 81
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/3/2005 7:34:59 AM
SeaAngel...thanks! :)

I have four children...all are exceptionally beautiful, and I don't mean just cause I am the beholder! LOL But my middle daughter was the...well...the oddest looking little child!! LOL Did I realize that then? Nope! Only when we look back on her photos (she is now 20) and we can laugh at what she looked like then...cause love blinded us back then! :)

I also have a blind friend...worked in the rehabilitation field...and it is AMAZING to see not only how the blind interpret beauty for others...but for themselves as well...how they see themselves reflects a strong inner beauty, strong self esteem, etc. We did an excercise once where they were to "look into their mirror and describe what they saw" and it was so very cool to hear the descriptives.
 mouthing_drama
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 82
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/3/2005 8:59:22 AM


never got why it's called a beholder rather than an observer. What's being held?

I kind of assumed that they call it beholder, since the beholder is a mythical creature of a huge eye and tentacles. So to have sight is to see through the eye.
 scarletsparrow
Joined: 9/22/2005
Msg: 83
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/3/2005 9:08:28 AM
ladypagey
for15yearsyou were married to a man who saw the inside lucky you!
itwas his folly to say he didnt marry you for beauty of the whole person! an older man or not most men are bone heads when it comes to their mates feelings on how they appear!
and its up to you to get past the feelings of not being attractive enough !yougo girl!


just my opinion
regards scarlet
 lizalookalike
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 84
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/3/2005 9:11:02 AM
I have always believed in "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". I have also believed that it is what is in the inside that can make you truly beautiful. To take the time to really get to know someone for who they are, and for what they believe in, makes the other person also truly beautiful. Words can be a very hurtful and damaging. They leave scars that just will never go away and hard to over come. But so can deliberate silences....
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 85
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/3/2005 9:39:07 AM
Ladies, however sad it may be, it is your packaging that draws us in, but it is indeed your substance that has the ability to enthrall us.
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 86
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/3/2005 10:42:25 AM
ok double cabin.. you are right what first attracts you to a woman and you are right about what keeps you attracted. What first got me started thinking about this was words, carelessly said. I have read with interest every post here and believe the thread and posts have opened my eyes to thoughts and reflections of perception of outer and inner beauty. I am not here to bash and I just want to tear down walls that have been up for 39 years. That is a long time. I want to go onward and enjoy life however long that might be.
I reached out here because I wanted understanding and hope, also to reach a true understanding of what true beauty is. With each of you as supporters of good values and unbiased views, I knew I could tear those walls down and begin to see myself as most of you obviously do.
I hope I haven't offended anyone by my stumbling around trying to understand the true meaning. Each of you is precious to me.
 CaliLady
Joined: 9/2/2005
Msg: 87
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/3/2005 11:06:58 AM
I agree with the muskokan.
I went pout with a a damn good looking guy. His personality stunk. But the first guy I married wasnt good looking but I loved him soo much. He looked good looking . A person is as gfood looking & as sexy as YOU want them to be.
Asa far as being sexy.Its all int he way you carry yourself & act
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 88
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/4/2005 9:33:47 AM
I think the threads and posts are great way to explore opinions and thoughts. Each person that has posted so far has offered great advise and in some cases stories that touched my heart and caused me to know something valuable. I think it is slowly becoming apparent to me. I don't dwell on past like some might think. The way I walk is becoming different, more of a spirited step when I walk. The smile in my picture, people say don't you ever frown? Why, with great people like you as support. Keep it up .. Way to go everyone...
 CaliLady
Joined: 9/2/2005
Msg: 89
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/4/2005 11:30:20 AM
I dont dwell on the past either but I sure learn from it.LOL.
 littletwin2000
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 90
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/4/2005 11:57:42 AM
my first love was not pretty to me at all until one day when i started to look at her in a different light thenshe was the most bautiful woman in the world
 theotherguy1985
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 91
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/4/2005 12:44:29 PM
Sure beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but that shouldn't be what keeps relationships going, its the connection they have that keeps relationships going
 SeaAngel
Joined: 5/8/2005
Msg: 92
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/4/2005 1:49:15 PM
Did I realize that then? Nope! Only when we look back on her photos (she is now 20) and we can laugh at what she looked like then...cause love blinded us back then! :)

I also have a blind friend...worked in the rehabilitation field...and it is AMAZING to see not only how the blind interpret beauty for others...but for themselves as well...how they see themselves reflects a strong inner beauty, strong self esteem, etc. We did an excercise once where they were to "look into their mirror and describe what they saw" and it was so very cool to hear the descriptives.

HarleyKat
I have four children too lol..they are all grown up and turned out beautiful, inside and out. I don't take all the credit..they had some wonderful family and friends to support them. I am going to do the excise your described with the mirror. HarleyKat, do you realize that we will never never see ourselves as others do. This guy said that a flat image on a mirror is not a true image of ourselves..and I believe him. My friend who is blind touches faces ONLY after talking to someone for awhile. I am humbled by my friend...sometimes I think we should wear blindfolds for even a day to see what a difference the world would "look" to us. Have a great day HK...thank you for your openness and humanitarian attitude.
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 93
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/7/2005 9:03:55 PM
seaangel...yes blind people do look at looks differently. My mom and dad both were blind. Mom passed away in 2001 . Dad is stll alive and blind. In their case mom would appear like she was looking at you and a big smile like a 1000 watt watt bulb would cause her face to become absolutely beautiful. Dad reachs out and touchs things and remarks about what things to him look like. Inner beauty is the key to all this. By the way there are a lot of down right attractive people on pof and I am very proud to be a part of you. If I could whistle I would... wow...My weight loss is being done for health reasons and not to please anyone else... except maybe myself...By the way with all of you I have been accepted for the way I look and that is helping to tear down walls of emotional armor that I built up to protect me or freeze from pain. thank you thank you...
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 94
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/8/2005 7:36:49 AM
Happy Saturday morning, SeaAngel and other Fishies!

Sea...what are your kidlets? Mine are 2 of each...22 (son), 20 (daughter), and the other two will be 18 next month! :) Some peeps think having 4 kids is crazy...I always thought it to be a perfect number! ;)

Interesting how a "beauty in the eye of the beholder" thread has turned into a discussion about flaws, disabilities, and so on. :) Some of the most "beautiful people" are the ones with what some would describe as the ugliest flaws...which lose their ugliness when you really get to know them.

Blindness...we could never know what it is truly like to be blind with just a few hours blindfolded. First of all...we would have too much fear to allow our other senses to compensate...something the blind eventually lose (or never had at all if they were blind from birth.) But I did do a program with elementary schools where we played games like this...allowed the kids to try and complete certain games/puzzles while blindfolded to simulate blindness, wearing earplugs to muffle hearing and simulate hearing loss, wearing special gloves that simulated mobility problems. It was SO fun and interesting! And...the kids reacted to me in the most amazing way AFTER experiencing this...and the letters I got! I will cherish them for life! (These are kindergarten level) Oh...I was "deaf" at the time...since then have gotten a Cochlear Implant...but to allow them to experience a part of my life...well they were so impressed to realize what others deal with on a daily basis. Too cute!

Sorry if I got "off topic"...just made me walk down memory lane! LOL
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 95
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/8/2005 9:26:56 AM
HarleyKat... You are right.. This thread was started by me to find out answers to why I was reflecting on these words. Each of the wonderful people who have posted have touched my heart in some way. Sure it may have gone from discussing beauty to other things but the basis is still there. Beauty in the eye of the beholder to me means looking at someone and some facet of their being becomes startling, breath taking and beautiful to me. Also to look beyond the outer shell and see the the inner beauty- wow -wow.
 _Thisisme_
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 96
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/9/2005 7:36:22 PM
First of all...I agree with tantalizing's post on page two who mentions how your eyes transcend time. Its really ironic that I rated your picture before I ever seen this thread.

The warmth in your smile can light up a room and that is what struck me as well. Hard to imagine that it was not there many years ago isn't it?

Tantalizing is also correct that he used those words to protect himself. He had the twisted belief that you would never 'wander' if he could make you believe that no-one else would ever want you. After all, if you had seen that, you would have left his sorry ass years ago! Its unfortunate that you bought into his crap but nice that you are healing.

It would have been extremely difficult not to have taken his words personally but it really was HIS ISSUE and NOT YOURS.

Abusive behaviour has NOTHING to do with whether one is beautiful or not....beautiful men and women get abused just as often!

It does have EVERYTHING to do with the emotional armor an abuser wears....and he was wearing his long before he met you.

People put others down as a means to cover their own insecurities and that's what abusive spouses do best....make themselves feel better by making their spouse feel worse.

You may have built your emotional armor in response to his abuse....but he lived and died with his.....how very beautiful of you not to do the same!
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 97
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/9/2005 7:48:30 PM
deborah... thank you thank you... emotional armor is no more.. and with each person on here with their various slants.. have said almost the same with a few exceptions.. I want to live a full life and see beauty in everything. I am still losing weight. I have lost 20 pounds. I enjoy eash of you great, adorable people...
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 98
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/14/2005 9:55:58 PM
To let each of you know, due to a very dear and loved one's story I decided to reaffirm my acceptace of Jesus as my Lord and Savior. In 1978 I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior but due to the unresolved issues in my life I backslide. I knew God still had his hand on me but felt not at peace with life. Each of you have tried in your own way to tell me I was beautiful in God's sight but I was sincerely missing the fine details. I understand beauty comes from within. It is God's beauty shining out.
May God bless each of who reads this thread
 Philamon
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 99
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/14/2005 11:20:38 PM
I agree with posts in this thread. However, read a recent article that scientists claim that there actually are universal standards of beauty that are recognizable by people of all cultures. Has to do with symmetry of facial features. People with symmetrical features are considered to be more "beautiful" than those of us with asymmetrical features. Go figure.
 Wild Artist
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 100
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 10/16/2005 3:24:18 PM
All I know is I have been out with a variety of men since I became single. One that went well was with a man that was big on keeping fit, but didn't see himself as sexy. He is beautiful inside and out. Once he gets back into the same state as me we will see where it will lead.

Another date was with a man that weighs 400 lbs and I had a great time. He was one of the sexiest men I have gone out with. If something develops with this man first I will still be happy. The only thing that bums me out is he thinks I'm too thin and I have less control over my weight than he does his.

So, beauty is all about how the person acts and if other people can see beyond the outer shell they have.
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