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 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 101
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Beauty in the eye of the beholderPage 5 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
pool anyone...It is so true... Outside is not as important as how they present themselves to you and how they treat you. I have thought about this subject for years and beauty is what you make it. Wonderful people come in all shapes and sizes and weights. What is extremely important is each person in the couple can look at the other person in the couple and say wow, honey you are beautiful to me... Insecurities in a person will cause the person to put down the other person in the relationship. I know in myself it caused emotional barriers that have recently come down and I am learning how to accept compliments and recieve the healing that will prepare me for a surprising future whatever that might be. Being a whole woman will let me love and be loved in return.
 helen of troy
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 102
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 11:48:53 AM
Of course he found you attractive or he would not have married you! He may have been trying to give you a compliment that he married you because of what a wonderful person you are and not just your looks. Men can often say stupid things! It is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I have asked guys if they think this or that actress is beautiful and they will say no, as she has ugly hands or something silly like that! You are a beautiful person! Confidence alone may attract alot of men. Hold your head high!
 artandsoul
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 103
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 1:34:56 PM
Hey, excuse me for putting something slightly irrelevant in here for the sake of a little humour:
There's a popular song in Australia titled: "Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder!"
 -Aussie Buff-
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 104
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 2:32:08 PM
Beauty is definately in the eyes of the beholder --- thats what attracts us to another person basically in the first instance - your visual perception of them
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 105
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 6:55:46 PM
through each of you... I have opened my eyes and perceived myself differently than I did when I first did this thread. Through the love of sweet fishy I have come to terms with why men sometimes marry not for looks but for youth and ego of catching a young person. His heart belonged with a woman 20 years older than himself. He was poor and she up and married someone with lots of money. He was left with no woman... so he up and married me.. a naive young woman of 25... he was 47. He did not see me as a beauty and was quite clear about that. He did tell people the only thing about me that appealed to him about me was my youth.
 leafslady
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 106
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 6:59:54 PM
Ladey,my friend...
All I have to say is that I wish he could see you now.
You are a most beautiful person..in heart ,and mind ,and soul!
Along with being a very lovely woman to behold!
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 107
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 7:15:30 PM
leafs... that is what aging has done to me... it has aged me like fine wine... thanks dear friend for the compliment and coming from my hero that means a lot...also each person on pof has had a hand in helping me understand me and help me blossom....love each of you....
 helen of troy
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 108
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 7:23:35 PM
Of course you are beautiful. It was terrible for your husband to say that to you!
 Talitha001
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 109
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 7:35:06 PM
ladypagey.....I have read this entire thread and find you to be a very remarkable woman...maybe a woman who doesn`t even realize what she possesses....I`m not talking about looks... although you are a very attractive woman that any man would be proud to be seen with... I`m talking about inner beauty...and how your spirit and love for life and all that is fair...shines through cyberspace...I believe when you were told he didn`t marry you for beauty....that was a compliment of the highest kind...He married you for all the important things I mentioned above...All the things that make you, you....Be flattered my dear...Men don`t sometimes express themselves very well....I don`t believe he meant you were ugly, cuz that isn`t the truth..Choose rather, to believe he saw deep inside of you and loved what he saw...Just my 2 cents...
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 110
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 8:07:51 PM
talitha... pof people have really helped to challenge my thinking and cause me to ponder the whys of life.As each person has either personally e-mailed me or posted I have started to blossom and become more alive and since I treasure pof and every person here I want you to know that when I hear beautiful or handsome people say I am beautiful I start to get misty eyed.Helen... You are a beauty also... thank you...
 CountrySugar
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 111
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 8:28:17 PM
Oh Pagey what a harsh harsh man..you are beautiful inside and out .. don't you ever doubt that .. Yes beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and obviously he was blind
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 112
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 9:04:51 PM
country... you are also beautiful inside and out... what a compliment... I have come to grips with his words and it helped to make me realize I wish to be treated fairly in return I offer fairness. filmmaker...you are on target about the qualifications on marriage. no ifs, ands or buts... I was so naive, a country girl, purely innocent that met up with this worldly fellow who had just been dumped.Like one minister who refused to marry us said... you are like an unborn egg... you do not know your potential... he is too worldly for you...We then went and got married by a judge. no minister would marry us...
 Stephaniedayton2
Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 113
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 10:45:02 PM
lady
it has been my experience that only people who don't love themselves can say hurtfull things to others. I feel a bit sorry for your husband as he was obviously someone who missed out on a lot in life, not the least of which was not seeing the obvious beauty who he was so lucky to have shared his life with. If I was you I would take this as an opportunity to start something new and wonderful. live your life exactly as you want to and realize that you are as amazing as you make yourself and beautiful as god made you.
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 114
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 11:35:14 PM
filmmaker... oh if it helps save one person the sorrows and pain that will make it all worth while... Yes I am alive, healthy and wish the best for each out there.Thanks to each word of comfort and advice. Thanks for compliment on my smile..
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 115
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 11:38:45 PM
People can say really mean things about how other people look. When people make fun of someone because of how they look I get really upset, people do not realize that god could have made THEM that same person they are making fun of. I have seen really nice looking people but their whole aura and attitude towards other people just made them totally UGLY to me. I read an article in Cosmo once and it was titled "Are you beddable" and what it was saying is that it's a persons personality that makes them approachable. For instance, a drop dead beauty can walk on a plane, men will look at them but not say anything or even smile at them because of her attitude. Someone like me (not a twiggy) can walk on the plane, I"m not ugly but not a 19 year old, 6 ft, size 6 beauty queen either, but I'm always smiling and will make eye contact with people and therefore men and women will ALWAYS talk to me and make eye contact with me. I"m ok on the outside but I think my personal beauty is more inward and to be honest, I like it that way. A friendly person can make someone who is having a really bad day... much happier and relaxed. I like that about myself.

From your picture you look like a very pretty lady and your smile makes me think you are not only pretty on the outside but a very lovely person on the inside! I'm not sure why your husband said what he did and I think now with all the pof friends who've responded to you and in such possitive ways you know that you are a beautiful person and you should never feel anything but that!
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 116
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/2/2005 11:46:54 PM
And also, I'd be surprised if you do not have men knocking down your door!!! There are men all over the world who would consider themselves a king to have a woman like you.

Your husband was blind, I just hope that in your marriage you found happiness and that in his worldly ways he was able to show you many things. I hope you were allowed to travel and have children and have a good life. Life is what we make it and everytime something new happens then it's just another chapter in our book of life. I have lots of good chapters of the adventures in my life. You are a wonderful person, so get out there in the world and have some fun.
 phoenix39
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 117
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/3/2005 12:00:56 AM
Beauty fades, personality lasts forever. We live in a world where beauty can belong to anyone who wants to pay for it (I know, I'm in the industry) but a true personality is something that can never be purchased. My theory is you can have all the fun you want in your pretty years but if you don't invest some time and effort into your personality you will wind up a shallow, vapid shell of a person that will have nothing to cling to as time moves forward. You can be the most beautiful person in the world and still be an ugly human being.
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 118
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/3/2005 12:06:38 AM
I agree Phoenix... and you can't FAKE being a nice person because sooner or later that ugly person inside of you will pop it's head out. If you have the money you can be physically perfect but without a personality and a heart you will just be a beautiful LONELY person. I happen to still have friends from 35 years ago! Some people say if you can count your true friends on one hand you're lucky... well... I'm surely blessed to have been a good enough friend to keep my friends for this many years. I had my younger years and I was a pretty thing but I never even realized how cute I was until I got older, so I guess I must have put alot of time into making my personality... and I have a one in a million kind.. LOL.. And it's taken me many years and alot of therapy to actually say that about myself. People who don't like themselves find it hard for others to care about them. Not sure where I was going with this..
 LFF001
Joined: 11/11/2005
Msg: 119
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/3/2005 5:40:13 AM
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is so much more than physical features, as many have said before me. I have met guys before that I did not find attractive at all. After I got to know them and their wonderful personality, I found myself thinking how 'beautiful' they were. On the other hand, I've met guys that were physically attractive with a horrible personality. They were not beautiful at all...for me it's the whole package.

And it's a shame that you husband didn't reinforce that for you when you were together. Find someone that will!
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 120
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/3/2005 10:03:13 AM
I have a sweet fishy who writes to me and helps motivate me to realize my beauty is outer and inner. Lff... the truth is whole package is beautiful, to save my health I am losing weight for my health and make me lighter on my feet. My husband did not reinforce my belief in myself but each of you to one degree or another have helped remove any chains of doubt I may have had about looks. Reality check.. when I first came on here I thought of myself as a unattractive lady but due to the caring wonderful people here I have come to the realization I am pretty... inner and outer beauty.. Thank you.....
 EzyGoinChic
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 121
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/8/2005 2:47:55 PM
You are a beautiful woman and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise! You have the appearance of a loving angel Men only say those horrible things so that they can emotionally control a woman so that she's too scared to leave him in fear that she couldn't be loved by another man. Some men fear what they can't control rather than appreciate it. A wife is never a possession and no matter what any of us look like it doesn't truly matter. Most people live in a fantasy land of what true love for themselves and others is and base it on how "perfect" their looks are, the relationships is and never allowing for problems nor sticking around and working through them, or the status of their life, professional career and material possessions. People don't feel they are worth loving even when their life is at it's lowest point. People reject real love for fear of losing it and getting their hearts broken. You are an amazing lady and I'm truly sorry that you never received the love and appreciation that you deserved for the love and commitment you obviously gave to your marriage despite his bad attitude. Don't ever "settle" for anyone that doesn't love you unconditionally! You deserve the best of everything including the love of a truly caring and appreciative man. I'm sorry for the hurtful things that he said Take care.
 oneafternoon
Joined: 3/15/2005
Msg: 122
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/8/2005 4:13:13 PM
Beauty is in the eyes of me ...
 gioia
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 123
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/8/2005 7:06:57 PM
A truly beautiful person is one who is beautiful inside as well as out.
 radar2
Joined: 12/7/2005
Msg: 124
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/8/2005 7:49:56 PM
Beauty is very objective. In high school, everyone knew who was the ugliest girl and who was the prettiest.
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 125
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 12/8/2005 7:57:20 PM
ezygoin...you have said what I now feel. love should be unconditional. Treat the other person in your life with fairness and gentleness. Respect and treasure each other. Consider each others opinions, hopes, dreams and look at each other and see the beauty inside and out. Each of you out there deserve the best... I love each of you... You are my heroes...
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