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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/25/2009 3:58:41 PM |
At this point here is where the power lies. SHE can:
A. Keep it
B. Keep it and hopefully salvage the relationship
C. Keep it and go after him for money
D. Abort it and feel awful
E. Give it up for adoption
HE can:
A. hope she aborts because he can't afford it
B. wait for her to decide.
HOW can you say thats a balance of power? I guess my biggest question to you out there is how can you expect mutual responsibility in sexual activity WITHOUT giving MUTUAL choice in the outcome of the pregnancy? You're telling guys to keep it in their pants, but BOTH made a choice to have sex and only ONE gets to decide what happens to the pregnancy.
You forgot something. He can hightail it out of town while the woman is pregnant. It happens to plenty of women. Women can't run from a pregnancy, so there is your "balance of power."
As far as a card that can be used only on children. Get real. The children have to have a roof over their heads, they have to eat, they have to have clothing, they have to use household utilities, they have to have transportation, et cetera, ad infinitum. How do you prorate the child's portion? If someone is scared that the child support money is being spent in the wrong manner, they should file for custody. Because if the child support money isn't being spent on the children, then surely those children are being deprived. And why would someone not want to take their child out of a situation like that?
And the Prada bags are most likely fake. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/25/2009 4:40:11 PM |
As far as a card that can be used only on children. Get real. The children have to have a roof over their heads, they have to eat, they have to have clothing, they have to use household utilities, they have to have transportation, et cetera
So what are you saying that if it weren't for the kid the woman would live on the sreets. give your head a shake.We men have to pay for a roof over our own heads, and utilities. As would a woman with no child. you can upgrade to a 2 bedroom place for $100 half should be moms responsibility. Utilities don't go up because because of a kid if they do very minimal. Mom should have a car anyways so we shouldn't be responsible for the car payment but ya some money for gas say another $50 with food and clothes all that is really reguired is max 200 a month so at max child so mom again should be responsible for half so at most child support should be #200 I don't know anybody who only pays #200 child support. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/25/2009 7:16:25 PM | ^ I do! actually less. one of my close friends gets $20/mo. my daughters dad tried to modify his to the same. his order is for $138/mo. I actually get nothing. he's already in jail, so they garnish a portion of his commissary, but he found a way around that. :-/ my sons dad has been ordered to pay $90/wk + $35/wk for daycare. I'm not getting either from him @ the moment.
I had a similar birth control flub, but knew I'd never have an abortion & told them so upfront (my kids are 6yrs apart..yes double oops!) and was in relationships w/ both men, but neither was happy w/ my decision @ first.
every situation I've read here is different... but bottom line is that pregnancy is possible everytime u have sex (unless u r medically 'fixed' or whatever) so be prepared 2 face the consequences of your actions...
on the other point... yes I'd have to support myself anyway, so I agree about the proportions being split us a good idea, but how do u qualify that? divide rent, utilities, food by 3 and there's my son's portion? its just not practical. the kids eat more than me, but their rooms are smaller. nothing is equal in reality..its hard to be fair, but the system does the best they can. my income vs his income is all that mattered. and they just make funky calculations & wallah..no one is happy! haha | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/25/2009 10:37:37 PM | I'm fully aware of your point. MY point is that the double standard is very real in this regard.
What double standard?
It's biology. If YOU had the babies then YOU would have control over what goes on in YOUR body.
But my point is that a woman who doesn't share the same code of sexual ethics that you and I do still has many options should an "oopsie" arise, and in many cases the same women who fervently defend said woman's rights to continue having those options will jump down the throats of any man who desires commensurate options of his own.
Well if a man chooses to sleep with a woman who doesn't have the same code of sexual ethics as you and I do then that's his problem!
Don't tell me he has no control over that!
And why do you think you deserve control over another person's body?
Yes, it sucks but it's not like it's a surprise or anything!
Y'all know going 'in' what the risks are and you should discuss said risks and what you would do about them were they to occur PRIOR to doing the deed!
As an above poster astutely pointed out, people who say "you should have been more careful" to the man are doing nothing more than making the exact same arguments that pro-lifers make regarding abortion. It's turning the child from a human being into a lifelong punishment for someone's momentary indiscretion.
I don't quite get what your saying there but if you want your 'momentary indiscretion' then you have to man up if you make an 'oopsie'.
Otherwise take birth control into your own hands and have your swimmers immobilized.
I've never had the options you are talking about because I don't believe it would be something I could live with doing. And that is fine. It is, of course, your choice. Men have no choices once the deed is done.
It's MY choice because it's MY body.
I had that happen to a friend of mine and I was very sad for him because he really wanted to be a Dad but he also knew she had two almost grown children and didn't plan on having any more and made that clear to him from the beginning.
If you don't trust who you are sleeping with then YOU have to be responsible for protecting yourself. And I am. As a result, Pirate John doesn't have any little cabin boys running around. So wouldn't you agree, then, that women should be equally responsible for protecting themselves, too?
I finally find a pirate that's shooting blanks and he's 3,000 miles away...damn! ;)
Yes, I completely agree but birth control is not infallible.
My girlfriend's neighbour had the big V and then had a third child...talk about your 'oopsie'!
As soon as I had a condom break on me I promptly went to the doctor and went on the pill.
Now I am hoping to meet a man with a working vasectomy as I don't have a lot of birth control options available to me other than condoms.
It takes TWO for sexually irresponsibility to have an effect and only ONE to prevent it. It takes two, indeed, but only one of those two gets any say whatsoever in how the consequences get to play themselves out.
Hey, I cannot change our anatomies but if I could I would much prefer that the men have the babies!
And then you could have ALL the control you want over your own bodies but until then you will just have to deal.
How would you feel if someone else had control over YOUR body?
How may women would be having sex if they had to give up complete control over their own bodies?
I'd be buying stock in B.O.B. if that ever happened!
You forgot something. He can hightail it out of town while the woman is pregnant. It happens to plenty of women. Women can't run from a pregnancy, so there is your "balance of power."
Exactly! And isn't that what this whole thread was about?
Some man having casual sex and not wanting to deal with the consequences.
HOW can you say thats a balance of power? I guess my biggest question to you out there is how can you expect mutual responsibility in sexual activity WITHOUT giving MUTUAL choice in the outcome of the pregnancy?
Big Pacific: Simply tell Jack and Jill to discuss what options would be acceptable to BOTH parties and agree to them BEFORE having sex. If you cannot come to a resolution then just don't f*ck!
I tell any man that I'm thinking of sleeping with that should a pregnancy occur I will be keeping the baby and that's that.
He can choose to be with me or not based upon that information. HIS choice!
What you CAN NOT argue is that there is fairness here.
Of course it's not fair! It's biology.
And who said life was fair?
I could argue that it's not fair that we have to have periods and cramps and in some cases push a watermelon out of our hoo hoos but that wouldn't really change things would it?
If the situations were reversed then you would have control over your own body and you would be freaking on anyone who would try to tell you different!
I think the child support system needs an overhaul, women get WAAAAY too much leway in not only child support, but custody. The default is to the woman, and that is bias. Were it the other way around, you'd hear it from hell to the heavens about how sexist we are giving more childrens custody to men than women. I think child support should be like WIC, you get a card, it can only be used to purchase things obvious for children. I know to many women spending child support on prada bags.
I have no idea what WIC is but I do agree that's things should change as far as custody goes.
Men are much more active in their children's lives these days and if you are equally loving, nurturing and involved parents then custody should be shared equally. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 7:01:54 AM |
Big Pacific: Simply tell Jack and Jill to discuss what options would be acceptable to BOTH parties and agree to them BEFORE having sex. If you cannot come to a resolution then just don't f*ck!
I tell any man that I'm thinking of sleeping with that should a pregnancy occur I will be keeping the baby and that's that.
He can choose to be with me or not based upon that information. HIS choice!
Uhhm, so what if she changes her mind on her opinion? They made the agreement that if pregnancy occured they obviously couldn't keep the pregnancy. He moves the relationship forward on this agreement. She get's pregnant, and promptly changes her mind.
Where is he then? Completely screwed. BTW, he can't just hightail it out of town, he's still legally financially responsible once the kid is born, all she has to do is name some guy the father and they take it as the gospel because it's cheaper than running paternity tests.
I don't advocate men having control over YOUR body. I wish people would read posts fully. I ALSO don't advocate women having SOLE control of a man's financial future either. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 8:18:20 AM |
It takes two, indeed, but only one of those two gets any say whatsoever in how the consequences get to play themselves out.
The one carrying most of the responsibility.
Men just aren't used to being made powerless is all.
Imagine how women felt for centuries. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 8:27:26 AM |
The one carrying most of the responsibility.
Men just aren't used to being made powerless is all.
Imagine how women felt for centuries.
Riiiiight. But it's 2009 now. You're arguing that because women were oppressed we should just suck it up and deal? Sooooo a black guy has a right to make you mow his lawn because blacks were oppressed for 100 years?
C'mon now. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 10:20:39 AM | Riiiiight. But it's 2009 now. You're arguing that because women were oppressed we should just suck it up and deal? Sooooo a black guy has a right to make you mow his lawn because blacks were oppressed for 100 years?
C'mon now.
That's the thing about equality. If a group is (or feels) oppressed, they won't feel equal until they have the upper hand. Until the time comes that the power balance clearly shifts to their favor, they'll feel like they're being allowed/given their equality by their former oppressors. They won't feel as though it's really theirs, or that it's real.
They won't be happy until they've ground us under their heels and gave us a little payback. Never mind that, by the time that comes to pass (if it ever does), nobody who was ever in an oppressive position will exist to face retribution. Not all women and minorities feel this way (or to the same extent), but the feeling is not uncommon. Though, some may not recognize it as such. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:28:54 AM |
Uhhm, so what if she changes her mind on her opinion? They made the agreement that if pregnancy occured they obviously couldn't keep the pregnancy. He moves the relationship forward on this agreement. She get's pregnant, and promptly changes her mind.
My mind is pretty much set in stone on that one but you are looking for zero risk and accountability in a situation that is fully loaded emotionally. Saying you can abort something in an abstract sense as opposed to actually taking a life that you created that is now residing inside your body makes it a whole different story. I don't think you can know how you will react to that until you are in that situation.
You know very well going into a relationship, sexual or otherwise, that there are going to be things that are outside of your control. You cannot control another person's thoughts, feelings or actions. So take that into consideration when you decide to have sex with someone.
Having an STD test doesn't mean you are guaranteed to be safe from disease just as having a talk won't make you safe from fatherhood. There are only two things that can guarantee you that peace of mind...either get yourself a vasectomy or don't have sex. Actually only one is guaranteed as I stated earlier vasectomies don't always work properly.
I don't advocate men having control over YOUR body. I wish people would read posts fully. I ALSO don't advocate women having SOLE control of a man's financial future either.
That would still be having control if you could force a woman to have an abortion or make her assume total financial responsibility. And I read your post fully I just found it to be lacking merit.
You have control over your body and your financial future. You are just choosing not to exercise it.
If you are so worried about being on the hook for a child you don't want then get yourself a vasectomy or don't have sex.
Don't tell me you have NO choice in those matters!
You are completely free to decide but you just don't like the choices that you are left with.
Just like a woman doesn't like being left to deal with a child on her own that took two to create.
The one carrying most of the responsibility.
Men just aren't used to being made powerless is all.
Imagine how women felt for centuries.
She's right. If you cannot handle the risks then don't have sex.
There are consequences to all of your actions in life so be ready to assume responsibility for them or get yourself a working vasectomy if you can't handle the possible repercussions of a sexual relationship. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:48:30 AM | Twist my words and judge my statements if you must.
Women didn't just "feel" oppressed,they were...and still are to a large degree.
I meant...women are much more used to being powerless doormats.
Men just aren't. This must be hard for you guys to swallow.
No say? No control? No way!
You're arguing that because women were oppressed we should just suck it up and deal?
No...I'm saying OUR BODY.... OUR CHOICE. FINALLY.
The law is on our side..for now..Suck it up and deal with it.
Oh..and not just WOMEN made those laws.
Hey...wanna date? I don't do birth control and I need some money! HAHAHAHA
ps....I financially and emotionally support 3 children I CHOSE to have....without any financial support from thier father...been THAT way for 19 years.
Chew on that one for awhile.I TAKE financial responsbility for what comes out of my body! No man does........ that's for sure. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:56:11 AM | If you expect men to assume responsibility for the repercussions of a sexual relationship, you have to give them a choice in the end result of the pregnancy, end of story. I'm fully ok with men being responsible, but to expect that while having NO choice in the end result AFTER conception is just illogical.
What i love most, is that you are FULLY ok with the responsibility being split DURING the sex, you IGNORE that the woman was EQUALLY responsible for the decision, and no matter WHAT arrangement was made as to the eventual outcome of that relationship you defend her right to renig on the deal and hold the guy accountable? WTF kind of logic is that.
This is like assigning blame a gun store owner for a shooting. Yes he made a decision to sell a gun, but he had NO choice on what happened AFTER the sale. He was safe, used protection (grace period) but shit hit the fan and decisions were made out of his control after the fact. If someone chooses to be irresponsible AFTER 2 consenting adults had a interaction, HOW can you expect the gun shop owner to go to prison?
After conception we DON'T have no choice. You know what, WE SHOULDN'T. It's not our bodies, but i feel that the ULTIMATE responsibility when it comes to pregnancy HAS to fall with the person that can be most hurt by the scenario (in most cases women), and that INCLUDES financial responsibility. I'm FINE with you having the choice, it IS your body, but if your going to make that choice, you have to take finances into account. (Bravo on raising three children on your own btw, thats truly commendable.) THEY have the most to lose and it is THEIR body they are protecting.
You have full control over your body. You can choose to keep a child or not. If you want to keep it and you can't afford it, then you make a choice to live in poverty and raise your child there OR terminate your pregnancy. Men get the choice of flee and be a deadbeat OR pay for a decision that they weren't involved in post conception. I think there should be a waiver of sexuality, where men can have it signed PRE NOOKIE where it was agreed upon the terms of what would happen IF there is an oopsie, that if they agreed on the course of action PRE sex, the woman can't hold him responsible POST sex if she decides to change her mind.
Would you be ok with that? Just a simple waiver? | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 1:23:20 PM |
I think there should be a waiver of sexuality, where men can have it signed PRE NOOKIE where it was agreed upon the terms of what would happen IF there is an oopsie, that if they agreed on the course of action PRE sex, the woman can't hold him responsible POST sex if she decides to change her mind.
Would you be ok with that? Just a simple waiver?
Go for it! Set a precedent! Change the laws. I see no problem with a contract like that.
I am sure there are women who would be willing to sign as there are lots of women who just want to have sex with a man but certainly don't want to be tied to him for the foreseeable future even if that means being solely financially responsible. Because that would mean that they could sever ties with the man and be solely responsible for any decisions made in their child's life as well.
However, I would never sign it nor would I ever choose to have sex with a man that insisted on it or even thought that way.
But that's my choice and I'm entitled to it just as you are entitled to search for a woman who would be willing to adhere to your conditions.
If you have any brains at all then you are aware of the risks going in.
Assess those risks and act accordingly.
Having sex with another human being is a privilege not an inalienable right.
If you can't handle the possible ramifications of an adult sexual relationship then get yourself a working vasectomy, a fleshlight or wait until you've changed those laws.
You have choices. They may not be palatable to you but they're valid choices nonetheless. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 1:49:01 PM | I'm sorry, the choices of
A. Sex
B. No Sex
arent really choices for most people. Me? I'm ok personally, I only have sex in relationships where i'm willing to have consequences. BUT i think saying THAT is the best way to handle this is ignorant. Theres got to be something better, and this "suck it up and deal" shit is self defeating as we try to move forward.
Didn't we learn our lesson with abstinence only sex ed? IT DOESN'T WORK. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 2:46:17 PM |
So what are you saying that if it weren't for the kid the woman would live on the sreets. give your head a shake.We men have to pay for a roof over our own heads, and utilities. As would a woman with no child. you can upgrade to a 2 bedroom place for $100 half should be moms responsibility. Utilities don't go up because because of a kid if they do very minimal. Mom should have a car anyways so we shouldn't be responsible for the car payment but ya some money for gas say another $50 with food and clothes all that is really reguired is max 200 a month so at max child so mom again should be responsible for half so at most child support should be #200 I don't know anybody who only pays #200 child support.
No, that is not what I am saying. I said what I said. Where did I say anything about the woman living on the streets if not for child support. A portion of all living expenses is used by the child. How can it be prorated to so that only the portion the child uses is charged to "the card"? Even if it is minimal, how much is it. If it is going to be separate, then you need an amount.
And, I don't need to "give [my] head a shake." Whatever that means. You are making up a situation to fit what you want to believe. I stated the truth.
Just because where you are the difference between a one bedroom and a two bedroom is $100, don't think that is the case everywhere.
I don't have any kids, and I know that it takes more that $400 a month to raise one. Which according to you ("at most child support should be #200") is all that is needed. You need to give your own head a shake.
If people don't want to pay child support, then they should not have sex or get fixed. Or, if they have children, get custody of the them. But, of course, they won't try or do any of the above. They just want to moan and groan about being taken advantage of. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 2:51:58 PM | It's sad that you have to ask the question. It's perfectly healthy that this young girl doesn't want to have an abortion. This guy is obviously a major scumbag and should take care of the kid, but what a crappy father he'll be. The only thing the girl did wrong was get involved with this guy and now she has to sleep in the bed she made.
This is what feminism and the destruction of marriage has led to. Loose women and porn obsessed men - bravo America.
...and to the feminazis on here, the man should have a say about keeping the kid too. I don't think it is fair for either sex to make the decision to kill their offspring without the others consent. That should be a unanimous decision. If both parents choose to abort, its still kinda wrong but I support it because I don't want their seed polluting the planet anyway. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 2:53:32 PM |
Riiiiight. But it's 2009 now. You're arguing that because women were oppressed we should just suck it up and deal? Sooooo a black guy has a right to make you mow his lawn because blacks were oppressed for 100 years?
100 years? Have you been in the US for your entire life? Slaves were brought to the colonies in the early 1600s. Do the math.
You should "suck it up and deal," or not dip your twig in the honey pot. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 3:27:01 PM | | Man up and pay the child report he is rquired to pay....or Man up and pull the trigger. Using the word MAN in the scenero seems ironic. Maybe PUNK would be better | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:12:59 PM | I don't have any kids, and I know that it takes more that $400 a month to raise one. Which according to you ("at most child support should be #200") is all that is needed. You need to give your own head a shake
I do have kids and I know that is reasonable. Of course mine is a daughter which cn change the price somewhat.if you get rid of rent and utilities 400 is more than enough to raise a kid every month.
Just because where you are the difference between a one bedroom and a two bedroom is $100, don't think that is the case everywhere
your right that is why child suport should change on a case to case basis. Depending on the wage diferance is retarted because we end up paying way more than what is needed and the woman go out shopping for their own wardobe on our expense.
yes obviously child suport should be way higher in the states cause it cost more to live.we are priveledged enouph to have health care that our goverment supplies with the taxes we give. Were does all your taxes go. oh ya that why your roads are so much better than ours. But I'll take roads that arent perfect to have health care. well worth it. But that isn't even 100% true as our climate is harder to deal with when maintaining roads so it really makes me wonder where all your taxes go other than war and paying off government officials and chevrolet, ford, ect. but that is for a whole othr thread just breifly related to this one.
If people don't want to pay child support, then they should not have sex or get fixed. Or, if they have children, get custody of the them. But, of course, they won't try or do any of the above. They just want to moan and groan about being taken advantage of.
now your talking out of your ass. I know many fathers who would love to have sole custody of their children. Myself included unfortunately it is hard to convince the courts to let us. it is usually handed over to the mother. If women were more responsilbe for their decisions concerning children. Maybe they would make more responsible decisions. I use protection even if the woman is on the pill my daughter came from a 6 year relationship so it was different. I willfully pay child support. Condoms are pretty good but ocasionallly people get pregnant when they are used I have never had a problem as I know how to use them corectly. When condoms break or slip off usully it is because they arent being used properly.
I agree with a poster a few posts back. Their should be a waiver. I am not desperate so if someone didn't want to sign it so be it. That just shows me their true intent.
Hey...wanna date? I don't do birth control and I need some money! HAHAHAHA
glad you found that funny. I found it kind of rude.
ps....I financially and emotionally support 3 children I CHOSE to have....without any financial support from thier father...been THAT way for 19 years.
Chew on that one for awhile.I TAKE financial responsbility for what comes out of my body! No man does........ that's for sure.
So do you want a medal or a chest to pin it on. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/27/2009 3:58:27 AM |
Hey...wanna date? I don't do birth control and I need some money! HAHAHAHA
glad you found that funny. I found it kind of rude.
Oh come on...it was a JOKE.Jeez. Obviously MEN should PAY for thier kids.
Even if they didn't WANT them.That's the way it goes guys.
ps....I financially and emotionally support 3 children I CHOSE to have....without any financial support from thier father...been THAT way for 19 years.
Chew on that one for awhile.I TAKE financial responsbility for what comes out of my body! No man does........ that's for sure.
So do you want a medal or a chest to pin it on.
Yeah...actually I deserve one.I was MARRIED to the man I had these kids with,for those 19 years! I was the HUSBAND in this and he was the wife and he was my dependant.And even in our divorce,I didn't ask for or expect CHILD SUPPORT even though he OWES THEM THAT.Why bother to try and get blood from a stone?It took the TWO of us to have these kids...and only ONE of us could afford them.....The damn point was....I am FAR from the kind of women who expects a man to pay all or half for his own kids. But I SHOULD have expected more! He got a FREE ride to boot.
At least I kept the HOUSE I paid for in cash.
So this is the reality if men got control or even a VOTE in all this.
Some men would fight tooth and nail to force a woman to get an abortion.
Some men would fight tooth and nail to force a woman to have a baby against her will.
Some men would support women's freedom of choice.
Some men would just man up and take responsibility for thier sexual choices.
Some men would stop trying to control women and realize not EVERYTHING is fair or within thier control.
Some men (OP)would make SURE they didn't get anyone pregnant if they didn't want to pay HALF for a child and this topic wouldn't even be an issue.
What do you guys want?
To make ALL the decisions for us? I mean really.
You make your choice when you have sex with us.
I am reading alot of resentment towards women for having "all the rights" and men feeling inequity and injustice and unfairness because they can't force us to abort or keep thier children and because they ultimately have to PAY HALF for getting a woman pregnant even if they didn't want to or mean to.
You men have the FIRST CHOICE in this....to have sex with us or not but the second you stick it in...you are choosing to let a woman decide your fate and it's not like you don't KNOW that before hand.
THE LAW SAYS..WE can ABORT or KEEP our pregnancies...and you will pay if it's yours.Period.
MAKE your CHOICE and LIVE with it once you cum. Or go back to when women had NO RIGHTS over her own body and see what happens then. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/27/2009 7:50:41 AM | | ^^^^Some men believe we need to take back our roles as decision makers. I agree. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/27/2009 12:36:37 PM | Hey, If you think you can raise a child on $400 a month, you are NUTS!. Let's see ,we have doctors, dentists(probably braces) clothes, school lunches, school fees,school books, school supplies, athletic equipment & fees, gas to get them to school & outside activities, food, utilities, health insurance, later, car insurance, dances, school pictures and probably more than I can't think of. This cannot be done on $400 a month, I don't care where you live. And just hope they don't break a bone or anything, geezzzzz with a deductible and co insurance left over after health ins. pays is still gonna be $4,000 where I come from.
Geeezzzz...................... | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/27/2009 7:19:43 PM |
squirrly...what an appropriate screen name you have...sorry to be the bearer of sex ed 101, but anytime two people have sex (even using a condom) it can result in pregnancy, STD, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, etc.etc. Unless there has been a prior discussion or the couple is in a committed relationship, sex to just have sex is very much like playing Russian Roulette.
Just because the man might not WANT to pay child support, the fact of the matter is he did have SEXUAL RELATIONS with the girl and the bottom line is that he is responsible if a DNA test proves he is the father.
No matter what the situation is, there is little to nothing a gentleman ( a term for this man I use quite loosely) can do in terms of forcing a woman into doing anything. This is why casual sex can be such a disasterous situation if both parties are not careful and considerate of one another.
Buck up, demand DNA and if proven to be the father, whether in the child's life or not..the financial obligation still stands, end of story.
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/28/2009 6:03:32 AM |
^^^^Some men believe we need to take back our roles as decision makers. I agree.
In your dreams.
Some women believe we have the right to make our own
decisions despite some men's unearned, unentitlement issues to "owning" us
and making decisions for us as though they are "GODS".
All that is to me is NPD!
Figure it out. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/28/2009 6:26:34 AM | ^^^^^ You have a right to make any decision you want.
If i decide i want a ferrari, and i go broke trying to pay for it, it was my decision i don't come to my ex saying hey, you LOVED when we RODE in that ferrari so since you played you gotta help pay.
She wasn't involved in the decision to keep the ferrari, so she isn't required to pay for it, it was MY decision.
All else equal you still have the choice, if you can't afford it, don't have it. If you think child support will make you able to afford children, i think you are sadly mistaken. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 8/28/2009 10:58:11 AM |
Hey, If you think you can raise a child on $400 a month, you are NUTS!. Let's see ,we have doctors, dentists(probably braces) clothes, school lunches, school fees,school books, school supplies, athletic equipment & fees, gas to get them to school & outside activities, food, utilities, health insurance, later, car insurance, dances, school pictures and probably more than I can't think of. This cannot be done on $400 a month, I don't care where you live. And just hope they don't break a bone or anything, geezzzzz with a deductible and co insurance left over after health ins. pays is still gonna be $4,000 where I come from.
amen to that outdoorgirlsunshine!! don't forget daycare, or before & after school care, the premiums on the insurance that come out of the pay check, pictures & uniforms for the sports or other activites, music lessons, diapers, toys, etc. | |
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