| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:18:09 PM | well i didnt and havnt read your threads on the hurricane and dont care to but and with buyers remorse you know what your buying with a scam your told one thing but get something else.Which one dose this one sound like?
and im headed to louisiana with the red cross later on in the month so i would never insult them what im doing is saying ignorance is ignorance no matter what your talking about.And I say this to force someone to have an abortion is no worse than forcing someone to have a child.both include taking someones choices away with a lifelong decision.
And despite what you might think I do agree with the fact that this man is old enough to live up to his responsibilities and take care of that child.and that should always be something discussed not assumed.but my whole point is that no one no matter what the circumstance or reason should have there right to chose taken away,wether it be him or her.I am a father of four who has a teenage child of one of my friends that lives with me also so i know about responsibility and what is involved in raising a child.It is never something that someone should be forced to do there is a lot of time love and money involved with children | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:19:49 PM |
why should you (thread starter) be able to tell anyone (the girl pergnant) what to do with her body?
as thread starter I will say....I didn't tell the girl to have an abortion. I am just the messenger here. My friend had asked her to take the pill and then an abortion. She didn't. Her Choice. But now she is telling him that he should see the child, interact with it....pay for it..etc...This was a mistake for him. Nothing he wanted. He had NO choice. And due to his ongoing depression could cause him to end his life. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:27:13 PM | what about the child's right to a chance and a future? that supercedes either of the parents. from what squirrly has said about both parents adoption seems the best course of action.
if he didn't know that sex can produce a child and in that regard was "scammed" then he's got more issues than having a baby. everyone knows the consequenses everyone knows no birth control is 100% he got exactly what he bargained for
it's hardly ignorance to feel compassion for a child who is truly the only innocent.
if the thought of having a child would make him suicidal wouldn't the smart thing to do would be abstain?
of course tons of time and money is involved in raising a child but to use the word "force" is appalling. how would you feel if you found out your parents had been "forced" to raise you?
shyt happens, we all have to grow up and it's high time this guy did. cause it's not about him and his choices any longer or her and her choices. it's about the baby and what is best for her or him | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:28:53 PM | He can lose his parental rights if he does certain things, i.e. neglects the child, abandons it.......
I'm 6 months pregnant and I feel that the father of my child has abandoned me... I haven't heard from him in a month though I've been trying to contact him. What should I do about this? | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:33:33 PM | | I don't know how it works there......contact your local health department and they can tell you. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:34:53 PM | if he's suicidal, call medical officials.
I was suicidal for years because girls dont like me, no one suggested that they should be forced to like me to solve the problem.
as for his life being ruined, he should have thought of that before he had sex | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:36:14 PM | it's not the thought of having the child as much as the financial consequences to his life.
He hasn't had an easy life ironically enough because his parents neglected him which is another reason he feels that the foetus would be better off not being born.
He never "bargained" for the condom breaking. Most people don't. This whole idea that people shouldn't have sex in case they have a baby is puritanical. We know that people are sexual beings and it will happen. Look at all the catholic priests who are supposed to abstain and don't. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:38:37 PM | I agree with scicutie he has to now suck it up and get as prepared mentally and financially as possible.but anything not agreed apon is force in the dictionary.
as for the last question you should start a thread because i have some advice but would probably get banned if i wrote it.
all we can do is hope that both of the parents of this child will be able to give it what it needs and deserves.it's a diffacult road and this thread didnt have any one answer that would solve the issue.there isn't an answer though because someone no matter what happens will have to give up there choice.sometimes children can bring out the best in people lets just hope it to be true in this case | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:39:51 PM | its still cause and effect. driving your car fast can cause you to crash it. I did, and I did. I did not blame someone else, or ford for making the car, or god for making the road icy, or the government of new brunswick for not sanding it. it was my fault. Sure I was just having fun but that has concequences, so does sex, that's not puritanical or anything, its fact.
as for "the foetus " I want to say that I support aborition 100%. life begins at birth. but that's my opinion, and I'd NEVER EVER try and manupilate someone into agreeing with me. THAT is wrong. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:41:16 PM | I'm 6 months pregnant and I feel that the father of my child has abandoned me... I haven't heard from him in a month though I've been trying to contact him. What should I do about this?
sounds like a good topic for a thread of its own....prolly in single parents or the Dating and love advice forums... | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:42:59 PM | god who has had an easy life.
i was raised by a single father and had an absentee mother. my dad NEVER complained about the financial burden of three young girls and thank god he didn't. who knows what shape my sisters and i would be in. he showed up, he raised his kids he put braces on or teeth he educated us and he LOVED us. how can anyone put a price tag on that?
he made his mistake in having casual sex with someone who in all reality is still a child herself then wants to take the coward's way out. you're right, no one bargains on birth control failing but we all know it does. talk to your partners people!! sex is a huge responsibilty and we need to be careful about who we decide to share that with. it can kill you now for god's sake and isn't that worse than an unplanned pregnancy?
i'm not anti sex or anti abortion but he CHOSE who he had sex wit and she chose to have the baby. he made his bed so to speak now he has to lie in it. no sense in punishing the baby
shan - he wasn't forced to have sex with her. he made a mistake. mistakes often have consequences.
also, i apologize for any harsh words. that's typically not me. i just have a soft spot for cute and tiny babies | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:46:31 PM | | I'm just still surprised at the attidue of some, who are acting with shock and awe that sex can lead to pregnancy, and that pregnancy can lead to babies, and that can lead to money being used. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:47:08 PM | | yes but there are plenty of accidents where people were wearing there seatbelts and driving the speed limit and crashed and died.what was the cause and effect there?there is no way to predict the future and no way to guess what someone else will do in any situation.you can assume that a woman with loose values who is just out for sex wont want a child but you'll never know unless you ask.and sometimes even if you do ask they can change there minds,what do you do then when someone tells you one thing and does another is that your fault for trusting them?There are plenty of men who protray themselves as prince charming and the man that will stay and have a family but they leave the poor women alone.my advice is simple never assume and always protect yourself when it comes to pregnancy | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:50:04 PM | | i agree pell, it's mind blowing. i'm thinking better sex ed classes are in order | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:59:28 PM | | yeah ive had a magnum break and there supposed to be the strongest or biggest.maybe the poster of this thread should talk to this woman and see what all she wants and expects from this man as a father.usually a nuetral party can get a better idea than someone involved, maybe this child will change the world one day you never know.That girl is still a child and this must not be easy for her either | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:03:25 PM | shan - she's got to be absolutely freaking crapping her pants right now. if she chooses to keep the baby she will be shouldering most of the emotional and financial burden. squrrly said the guy was broke and emotionally unstable. what has he got to offer?
actually i had the "what would you do if i got pregnant" discussion with my partner and we worked it out beforehand. always suggested. you may not get the answers you want but you'll at least know | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:05:54 PM | I don't believe there is any need to be condescending. Of course we know that no birth control is 100 percent except abstinence but we also know that humans are humans and sex will happen. It's more about the choices. The girl made the choice to have the baby. I am sure it will not be that great for her to have this baby because guys will think twice about getting involved with her.
I know there is no solution to this situation for my friend other than I hope the paternity test will prove he isn't the father. It was just a predicament that I thought would make for some intelligent discourse. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:06:36 PM |
usually a nuetral party can get a better idea than someone involved
You can petition the court for a mediator here. That is after the child is born, though.
I don't know about pre-natal. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:07:51 PM | | I think that as a thread we have lost the fact that there are three people whose lives are on the line here.We can always discuss and debate it till eternity and well make some good points but they have to live it.it's easy to tell someone to pay for anything but money dosnt just get there because we say it.and i agree it's better to hear bad news then none at all | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:12:02 PM | i wasn't being condescending i was merely stating a fact. if that fact doesn't work in your friend's favor that's no one's fault. humans are indeed humans and sex does indeed happen but humans were blessed with the ability to rationalize and think intelligently and not behave like animals
the young girl did make her choice but he chose her before she got pregnant. that was all him.
i desperately hope this girl has more on her mind than whether or not guys will want to get involved with her because she has a child. she's got a plateful already | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:12:40 PM | -----
I don't believe there is any need to be condescending. Of course we know that no birth control is 100 percent except abstinence but we also know that humans are humans and sex will happen. It's more about the choices. The girl made the choice to have the baby. I am sure it will not be that great for her to have this baby because guys will think twice about getting involved with her.
I know there is no solution to this situation for my friend other than I hope the paternity test will prove he isn't the father. It was just a predicament that I thought would make for some intelligent discourse.
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why should they think twise?
why?
what has she done wrong?
why are you blaming her for getting pregnant?
why should they think twise? why? he's the 40 year old who as going around having sex with a 20 year old.
sorry if I sound mad, but I am damn it, your blaming this poor girl for not wanting to be forced into what, for all we know, she views as killing her baby. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:16:35 PM | The minute two people engage in sex, they are basically engaging into a contract to take full responsiblity of the conseuqences that could result of said act.
You're right, humans are sexual beings, but we also have the ability to rationalize which differentiates us from the animal kingdom, we don't need to act solely on instinct.
He participated in the act - therefore, he has got to deal with the hand that he has been dealt. He should have been fully aware of the fact that he was not financially ready or able to care for a child and insured that both were taking some sort of precaution.
It is appalling that people today can find themselves in this situation and act so surprised. Sex is for procreation....and the only way to not procreate is to not have sex or to use as many forms of birth control as possible. At 38 years old, he is not naiive - he knows the way it works...
Now it is time to step up, be a man, and most importantly, be a father. Get a second job - that is what adults do. They deal with it. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:17:19 PM | She DOES have a share in what happened. She is an adult and it wasn't just him choosing her to have sex...she chased him! The age difference??? Who cares? There are mature 20 yr olds and immature 38 yr olds..She isn't underaged.
Its both their faults. The problem is...only one of them makes a choice which is life altering for everyone. Him ..her...and the baby.
The reason I said men would think twice is because it is a fact that a guy will think twice about taking on the responsibility of another man's child. That's just life. It happens. | |
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