| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:18:11 PM | | HE made the choise that effected both of them when he decided to have sex | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:19:19 PM | | ^^ they BOTH made that choice to have sex. She made the choice to allow the foetus to come to term. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:23:56 PM | | maybe im missing this but how does he know she is really pregnant?if he is that concerned i would have dragged her to the dr.asap to get checked.where is the proof? | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:28:40 PM | | no, she did not make the choise to let it come to term. if she does nothing it will, therefore HE was the one trying to foice a certain choise on the situation. SHE is pregnant, its HER body, and no one has any right to tell her what she can and cannot do with HER body. Having sex means you accept the responsibility of what can happen, you cannot force someone into an aborition, that's wrong, and illigal. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:29:19 PM | Ahhh, what a tangled web we weave.
I just got on, read all the posts, & everyone has a valid point. (As well as opinions)
I have found myself in a situation similar, but I didn't threaten nor take it to the extreme.
As for "Baby Daddy," get some support; get counseling, don't stress over "Baby Mama."
Insist on you both going for some kind of help. As for the "cutting," cutting is a form of release. Instead of the pain inside with no expression or outlet- it gives the cutter some kind of control over their pain.<<< so I've been told by other cutters.
Yes, condoms break; birth control should not be assumed that either party would be responsible. As a woman- I have always assumed that it's my body and my responsibility.
I once had a very wise biology teacher who would have daily quotes before class started.
One morning, he said this: "It's easier to become a daddy than it is to become a man."
I took that one to heart. My heart goes out to all parties. And as a friend, Squirrly; you're awesome for at least trying to make some headway for your friend.
 
Truly, the child will be the one to suffer if it's parents cannot be mature enough to stop with the animosity and put aside their differences and handle what must be done.
Going through your first pregnancy alone is tough; been there, done that.
Daddys have a tendency to "freak out" when they realize that there is more to life than playing bumblebee- pollenating all the flowers. But, the true joy will be- should this happen- look beyond the b.s. and accept that there is lovely child that will be born and it could be the one thing that makes both parents realize that they are blessed.
Just IMHO- Abortion is not a means of birth control; if you play the game- you know there are penalties when you don't follow the rules. As for myself: I truly believe what one does with their body- the choices & decisions they make? They answer to their own "higher force" when they leave this earth. I can't judge as it's not my place.
Okay- am getting off my soapbox and letting y'all have some fun with this.
Have a great day everybody,  Play nice with the other children or no graham crackers & milk for ya.... | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:31:46 PM | it's patently clear that there are immature 38 year olds. this guy is one.
they BOTH made choices that put them where they are today. why is it so difficult to see that the only one that matters now is the baby?
good post happydragon | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:33:02 PM | I just cant get over how she wants to take control of the poor girls body
I better stop posting here or I'll get banned when I start getting into my hitler references.
this is my last post on this topic. my views are clear. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:46:58 PM | no, she did not make the choise to let it come to term. if she does nothing it will, therefore HE was the one trying to foice a certain choise on the situation. doing nothing IS a choice...hell just getting out of bed in the morning is a choice... | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:53:56 PM |
I just cant get over how she wants to take control of the poor girls body
I don't even know the girl. As I said...I put this thread here for discussion and I am just playing devil's advocate for my friend who's going through a tough time and I can see his point of view. I can see her's too. I don't know if I could make the decision to have an abortion but I can imagine there would be situations where I might make that decision. This issue is usually seen purely from the female....Pro choice or anti abortion one. This is from a reluctant father's point of view where he has no control on something that will alter his life forever.
A few years ago I had another male friend who confided in me that his girlfriend had decided to have the abortion and he took her to the clinic. He said he sat there crying because he wanted the baby but he knew it was her body and her decision. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 3:11:45 PM |
The minute two people engage in sex, they are basically engaging into a contract to take full responsiblity of the conseuqences that could result of said act.
Actually a key element in any contract (whether wriitten, implied or even aquiesced) is what is termed as "a meeting of the minds" whereby each party has the same understanding of the terms and obligations of the "agreement". Do you really think that's what happened here? I seriously doubt it since based on Squirrly's description both adults are, to put it kindly, off balance- at least for now.
Bottom line- Each and every decision we make has consequences and often times those consequences are unforeseen or foreseen but ruled out for various reasons (he wore a condom) but that in no way lessens our responsibility for our own actions nor does it empower us over the freewill of others....
He will deal with the consequences as will she. Hopefully they can get their stuff together for the sake of the child that's about to enter this world. | |
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bobops
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Joined: 6/19/2005
Msg: 112 | |
| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 3:33:37 PM | | having sex is the easy part. stepping up to the plate and being a MAN is the hard part. if he is a man, he will forget about his own needs and focus on the child. if he is not a man then he will run away from it. this child did not have a choice in this but the child has the right to be loved and taken care of. when i got divorced i spent every dime i had, gave up any personal life i had, and spent 2 years in court to get custody of my 3 kids because they would have not been safe with my ex. I didnt think twice about it, and now i am dedicating my life to taking care of them, loving them, and making sure they get what they need so that they can live happy and productive lifes. i made them, im not going to turn my back on them. Children are the most precious thing we have in our future, if he cant or wont take care of them there are people out there that will but he shouldnt turn his back on this child. i also think it is unfair to "blame" her for this. she didnt set him up, he had sex willingly, whether or not she is willing to have an abortion is a consiquence he should have thought of and now has to deal with. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 3:44:22 PM | | I'm sorry, but that girl deserves a punch in the ovaries. She screwed up and made the decision to keep the child on her own, so she should have to raise the child alone, unless she finds a guy who would want to raise the child with her. | |
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bobops
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Joined: 6/19/2005
Msg: 114 | |
| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 4:01:33 PM | | WRONG!! you have got alot of growing up to do! when "he" made the decision to have sex with her, he knew what could happen! know he has to deal with it. but you know what, know matter what anyones opinion about this is, know matter what anyones views on abortion are. if she has the child and it is his, then things will be clear for him. he will only have 2 choices then. he will choose to do the right thing and pay support, or he will choose to become a resident of the county!!!!! | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 4:09:26 PM |
I'm sorry, but that girl deserves a punch in the ovaries. She screwed up and made the decision to keep the child on her own, so she should have to raise the child alone, unless she finds a guy who would want to raise the child with her.
aaahhhhhhh.deep sigh to be 18 again..............
Yup I can get My way out of this by punching Her in the ovaries.....wonder how many of your dates would want to see that line.....
Like bobops said....soon He will see the light of Day..... | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 5:23:00 PM | In the US, you can't simply relinquish parental rights, for a number of reasons. But that's already been discussed.
I just wanted to point out that the poster who suggested such a thing was from Texas, while the OP was from Canada. We shouldn't assume that the two systems are the same at all, whether it's re: parental rights, child support, or anything else. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 5:40:01 PM | | you play around in the kitchen long enough you will eventually get burnt all I can say to bad so sad for him be a man and take the responsibility of a father he made the decision to have sex with the young lady so now its time to step up second of all to say punch her in the gut and get an abortion morons the child to be born didnt ask for the situation so why should it pay for it you idiots should think about what you say that could have been your father or mother making the same decisions to abort and you wouldnt be on this planet | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:06:10 PM | Personally, I don't think that a potential father should have any control over what a woman does or does not do with her body... BUT, I also think that it's completely unfair that a mother can sign over parental rights at will (by putting a baby up for adoption) but a father can't. That seems intrinsically unfair to me.
I also think it's wrong that he is being harassed by this woman and her family. If they want to use the system to make him pay financial support, fine....but if he doesn't want to be part of this child's life, he shouldn't be harassed into doing so. How is that going to be a positive thing for this kid?
Facts are, he contributed to the creation of this baby...the mother's failure to terminate the pregancy does NOT negate that in any way. He is responsible (at least halfway) for the welfare of this child.
The guy in question? If he's contemplating suicide, he's a selfish ass....regardless of his intentions toward this baby. People who kill themselves (or attempt it) are self-absorbed idiots who care nothing for the pain and suffering that they leave behind. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:09:29 PM | Get a second job.
"WRONG!! you have got alot of growing up to do! when "he" made the decision to have sex with her, he knew what could happen! know he has to deal with it. but you know what, know matter what anyones opinion about this is, know matter what anyones views on abortion are. if she has the child and it is his, then things will be clear for him. he will only have 2 choices then. he will choose to do the right thing and pay support, or he will choose to become a resident of the county!!!!!"
It sure is refreshing to see that there is at least one man with an attitude like this one has. Thanks for restoring a bit of my faith in your gender, sir. (And to the other men with similar things to say). | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:11:55 PM | | Boy I'm wading into this one carefully and yes I DID read...but isn't the responsibility for birth control IE prevention, the responsibility of BOTH parties?? Don't throw things, please but I realize that it's mainly left up to the woman but guys have to maybe think and feel comfortable or realize the potential liability before they get involved?? Yes, I realize the women can lie, and say they're on the pill and if you get caught in that scenario, well that's another thread. But it's two people involved here and two people who BOTH have options. Maybe I'm just too diligent about being hyper or over prepared if that's possible. But birth control, if that's a part of it, should be discussed and used by both parties...yeah I know. The discussed part is the kicker.... | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:16:25 PM | "Boy I'm wading into this one carefully and yes I DID read...but isn't the responsibility for birth control IE prevention, the responsibility of BOTH parties?? Don't throw things, please but I realize that it's mainly left up to the woman but guys have to maybe think and feel comfortable or realize the potential liability before they get involved?? Yes, I realize the women can lie, and say they're on the pill and if you get caught in that scenario, well that's another thread. But it's two people involved here and two people who BOTH have options. Maybe I'm just too diligent about being hyper or over prepared if that's possible. But birth control, if that's a part of it, should be discussed and used by both parties...yeah I know. The discussed part is the kicker...."
Good point,except I believe that if a man wants to be absolutely sure he doesn't father a child, then he needs to take responsibility for that. Industrial-strength double-sided, reinforced steel condoms if necessary. Vasectomy. Whatever it takes. He should not take the woman's word for it if she tells him she's on the pill, etc., any more than she should take his word for it that's he's sterile or whatever. | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:20:55 PM | Unfortunately, the condom breaks
DragonRed waves finger and says.."Now let that be a lesson to You"
When it comes down to it...in the eyes of the Law ..He will be as responsible for it, as Any other Male........ | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:32:16 PM | I know that this is NOT how the world works but it's how I work:
Contraceptives or not you run the risk of possibly bringing a child into the world.So if you're willing to take responsibilty for it GREAT!!! If you're not willing then don't have sex.
Bottom line: You reap what you sow. Stand up and be a man! | |
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| Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:33:09 PM | She DOES have a share in what happened. She is an adult and it wasn't just him choosing her to have sex...she chased him! The age difference??? Who cares?
She may have chased him, but remember Lolita chased her stepdad too. So she chased him. He didn't have to get caught. A 20 year old reacts to the world very differently from a 38 year old.
I give the man kudos for being responsible and using a condom--about the only choice for a guy when it comes to birth control. It's unfortunate the condom broke. I'd say get the test done and find out if he's the one. If it's positive, step up and make the child support as painless a process as it can be.
With the potential price tag of $50+ grand, I don't understand why so many "mature" (30+) men continue to have sex with 18-22 year olds. They're still young enough to think they're invulnerable! The guys know they're not. I know the attraction is there, but that's a heck of a lottery to play. | |
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