| Abandonment
Posted: 9/10/2005 4:24:29 PM | ***McBobly, yes, that was directed at you. I didn't read any advice in that particular post, just an agreemnet with everyone else's posts***
Any particular reason you singled me out to lash out at? I see other responses that are similar to mine and did you lash out at them? Not from what I see, just what did I do to receive getting slamed like that? I didn't do a thing to you other than tell you that you should consider legal action, I'm so terrible sorry if I don't have the answer you're looking for, but you need not strike out at me!  | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 9/16/2005 2:54:02 PM | | Sometimes, Mcbobly, a woman doesn't like to feel like she's being followed around. and Please, comments like the ones you just made, need to be said in e-mail, not a public forum. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 9/16/2005 5:53:38 PM | In texas it has to be 12 months before its considered abandonment. How crap is that????
I would contact Child Protective Services or the Child Support Agency so they can make sure that he supports the baby. They may say they can't do anything for a child who isnt born yet, but at least get your name on the books and a first-inquiry date down. And always get a NAME of the person you speak with and which office they're at. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 9/16/2005 6:09:50 PM | mcbobly....
I agree with the advice you gave. My daughter's father abandonded us and came to court when she was 5 months old. He had never laid his eyes on her and the judge was about to give him joint custody along with a child support payment plan. Up until then he hadn't paid a penny. A person who can abandon their child and then be handed over joint custody......the judge was retarded. So I had to get a lawyer and prove that he was unfit, which wasn't too hard with his records, but it was worth it rather than handing my child over to the ''care'' of a man who didn't have the back bone to face his responsibilities. well, who knows if this post helps you, but thanks for letting me vent a little. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 9/16/2005 8:46:43 PM | | Way to go morphinit, I'm happy to see that it all worked out for you and your daughter. In any case if a person feels that they are able to prove a parent unfit they should do all they can do to get it done for the sake of the child(ren). I'm glad my advice was such that someone was in agreement, contrary to others 'opinions.' | |
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Ladeus
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Joined: 9/15/2005
Msg: 31 | |
| Abandonment
Posted: 9/17/2005 3:04:14 PM | I was in the same situation......my son's father left me when i was six months pregnant...
Disappeared and no word or contact for over one year.
In that year I gave birth to my son, Hired a Private Investigator, Had the British Columbia Government look for him. I did searches on my own. I went through student lawyers and got every bit of information that i could possibly find on what are my rights and my sons rights. I even went through illegal means to look for him.
Turns out my sons father is not dead......He is running from the law and changed his name and all other information.....So my own investigation was a waste of time.
I did not know his family........I guess I was an embarrasment to him who knows.
My advice.......do what you can do.....hire a lawyer, hire a private investigator, anything that you can think of.
Keep your chin up......worry about you and your unborn child........the man should come last | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 10/18/2005 4:35:11 PM | | The hardest part about not having someone is the fact that I also have Lupus so I get more tired. I usually have to take 2 or 3 2-hour naps a day. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 12/23/2005 2:14:48 PM | | Well, I had my baby. I had a beautiful baby girl and named her Elizabeth Gail. She joined us on December 8th at 4:37 PM. She was 7lbs. 12 1/2oz. and 19 1/2". If you'd like to see pics of her, she's at www.mindygriffith.com/elizabeth.htm | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 12/23/2005 4:04:42 PM | awwwwwwwwwwww congrats!!  | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 12/24/2005 12:09:47 PM | | Any man that walks out on a woman he created a child with and hides from the child he is worthless in my eyes. Same for moms who give up and walks away from their kids as my ex did. The are real men out there who will step up to the plate given the chance. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 12/24/2005 11:04:50 PM |
I'm 6 months pregnant and I feel that the father of my child has abandoned me... I haven't heard from him in a month though I've been trying to contact him. What should I do about this?
Get a lawyer and make sure the other half of the genetic material responsible for your son pays his fair share to help with the costs associated with raising a child. Or you could corner him in public, and make him look like a complete ass and possibly appeal to whatever conscience he has left. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 12/26/2005 9:20:22 PM | | congrats girl file for custody and child support if he wants to see the baby or not make him at least hold up his responsabilty as a dad .he helped bring her into this world and he should help take care of her | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 12/26/2005 11:18:10 PM | | Get over it. Raise your baby. If he wants to be in your life he will be and if not don't be like all the petty women out there who try to make them. It is there choice just as much as it is your choice to have the baby. Everyone talks about stick it to him because he won't be around while thats stupid if you ask me. if a girl doesn't want to have a baby she can have an abortion or give the baby up and the guy doesn't get a say but if the guy doesn't have any part of the baby she decides to keep on her own everyone assumes he is a dead beat. why shouldn't they get the same choices as women get? women have the choices ot be moms and men should have that same choice to be a dad or not and if they chose not that is their choice no one should force them to pay and to be involved in the child's life. there are women all over the world raising babies on their own. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 12/26/2005 11:23:31 PM | | he did not help to bring her into the world. he contributed his sperm and fertilized an egg nothing more and nothing less. all this crap about finding him and making him pay. what a waste of energy and time. life is too small to sweat a guy making a choice to leave. making him hold of his responsibility as a dad is so stupid. moms who leave don't have to why should dads. these forums lately are just all about the same thing... he left me and i'm pregnant what should i do. Get over it move on it was yoru choice to have the baby not his. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 12/27/2005 8:00:46 AM | | I know how you feel because I went through the same thing when I was pregnant. This past June the father decided he wanted to be in my son's life after five years well now he is back out of it which has really impacted my son's life. I would just go to http://childsupport.oag.state.tx.us/ you can fill out the information to get the child support and the father's visitation rights setup this way. If the father doesn't show up in court they will give you the power to decide what happens with the visitations. I am currently go through the child support and visitations issues right now because I didn't do it in the past. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 12/27/2005 9:05:31 AM | Looks pretty clear to me that whatever relationship you had is over. Your choices are..
1.) Make him pay child support and risk giving up your child to visitations with the father
2.) Allow him to go away and have a great life with your child.
I am sorry to say but this is completely a financial decision. In my opinion I would not risk the well being of my child for financial support. The way I see it is you are mortgaging your baby. If I could get my ex to sign off on parental rights I would do it in a second, any financial or motherly bonuses she could bring to the table are outweighed by her risk to my children. I wish you luck with your child and hope all works out for the best interest of your child. | |
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tarok
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Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 42 | |
| Abandonment
Posted: 12/27/2005 5:51:25 PM | hi missq4ever every one is offering you some very sound advice if this is your first child it,s the greatest thing that can happen to you. when my daugher was born and her eyes opend up for the first time i knew i was starting a new journy in my life she made me a better and stronger person and from the minute she was born i took her everywhere with me i wanted to show her the world she is now 13. missq your gone do just fine and you too will find strenght and courage, your going to find the kind of love in you that you never knew existed. i too hope the father of your child will be there for you. if hes not then he must be legaly and finacially responsible. good luck tarok. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 12/27/2005 5:56:33 PM | | he must not be legally and financially responsible | |
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| Updates
Posted: 1/7/2006 2:48:21 PM | | Well, since I had my daughter one month ago, her father has been calling more often. He's been asking me what I need for her and offering to send money. So far I haven't taken him up on those offers because I'm doing okay for now, but if ever I need anything, I will. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 1/7/2006 3:20:29 PM | Cut your losses
Head down and file for child support with whatever information you have. Even if he doesn't want to know about the baby he is still responsible for half of that childs financial support.
And continue to enjoy your pregnancy
Go have a belly cast made
have some pregnant photos made
anything
Have fun and enjoy it. | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 1/27/2006 10:03:36 AM | | I think you missed what I said... my daughter is already a month old and her father is doing his duty by me (FINALLY) | |
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| Things are much better.
Posted: 6/4/2006 3:26:49 PM | | Things have gotten much better since my last post. Libby's father and I have reconciled our differences and are actually back together. We're planning a May 2007 wedding. Thanks for your support everyone!! | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 6/4/2006 3:32:10 PM | how about move on.. worry about that beautiful little baby inside of you not his dumbass.. my kids dad use to pull the same crap till i finally told him i dont really care what u do with yourself i have my baby i dont need ur crap ne more thanks... and i went though my whole preg alone.. after she was born his parents got back from Portugal and i asked his mom ( a bible tumper ) if she would like to meet her granddaughter she told me she wasn’t her sons i went thats fine ur the one going to judgment day good luck with that ... it is their loss not your stop worrying about him i know its harder then it sounds but think of you and that baby hes ovesally a moron ne ways.. best of luck to you and ur little one hope all goes well i knwo rigth now it doesnt fele like it will ( but it will all turn out)
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and make sure you have alot of support for after wards i moved in with my mommy lol to help me out with my duaghter till she was about 3 months i couldnt do it alone its goona be hard but you and you baby will get though it if u wana talk e mail me | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 6/4/2006 3:43:19 PM | What should you do?
Sorry sweetie there's not much you can do. My little girl is 7. I've never had any help from her dad. Child support is only good if he'll pay it. I've never seen a dime but I've not went after it either. It's better that your child has one awesome parent(you) than knowing what a jerk it's dad is. Good Luck! | |
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| Abandonment
Posted: 10/6/2008 2:35:23 PM | Well, here I am again. I now have 2 beautiful daughters... the first one- her father was there for a while and then he started a bunch of BS so I left him. The youngest- her father and I may not be together but he is making the effort to be there and help me when he can. He buys her formula and other things she needs without my even asking him to. We may not even live in the same state but he tries. We're working it out so she gets to visit with him a couple of times a month. | |
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