| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/7/2005 4:21:50 PM | vp2 comment proves he is a real man
Squeak
OT: If you knew this dude for more than a week, I would not exactly say it was only a week. Also, when you two decided to do the sheet dance, pregnancy was a possibility so he should know from the start. Tell him as soon as you are sure. He might surprise you. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/7/2005 4:52:33 PM | | hears an idea.....talk to him, you might be risking loosing him, but some of this is his fault, he has only been dating you for a week(ya ya you have known each other for two months)but he still should have inisted on wearing a condom(responsible guys do)anyways go to him, explain your feelings on abortion to him, tell him thats not what you want, and ask him what he wants. You both were irresponsible in the begining, now you both need to have the chance at being responsible and doing whats best for the three of you.Mistakes are made, its all how you go about handling them is what counts. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:25:29 PM | Loveskids, I myself know were you are coming from, shit happens doesnt it and now is the time were you go by your moral and do what you know is best. you are gonna have so many diffrent emotions in this all that it is going to be un-real, you may not even want to stay with the babies daddy. if it doesnt work out with you and (babies daddy) at least he knows and then it is his choice, as long as you have a well built support system around you this should be a breeze, but dont think at all for one second that this is going to be a easy road because well now you have to think about more than yourself, and well as I was told it is easier to get on and be happy that you are pregnant than to worry about what the babbies daddy is going to say. In the end everything will be put to work and you will find that you are bringing a magnifacent thing into your life. Best of luck to you, take it from a gurl who knows exactley were you are coming from keep the baby.  | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/7/2005 7:20:20 PM | | I suppose I can post my opinion here since this is an open forum. So with that said, here is my opnion: Abortion is murder so why should the child be sentenced to death because its birth is an inconvienience to its parents? They should have thought of that before they engaged in sex, contraceptive use or not. The pill is only 100% effective when held between her legs. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/8/2005 2:06:16 AM | personally...I would have the child and take care of him/her the best I could
we all make mistakes in life...deal with 'em the best you can
and don't discount the dad...if I were him I would be larger than life (extremely happy)
good luck | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/8/2005 2:40:10 AM | Hiya sugars,
Well you know....I have always wondered about women who get into this kind of pickle and I can never in a month of Sundays understand it but put it down to a Irish upbringing if you want to.
I really cant understand why...you wud be in this situation in these days of birth control.....its like there is no consideration for the childs life at all...this is important for Gods sake and theres no respect for your own body either.
There is no way in the world that I wud be pregnant unless I really knew that fella first and he had made a commitment to me.
By commitment...that he wanted to stay with me for longer than five minutes,five months or five years. No way wud I have any ruddy fellas kids until..he wud do that.I know mistakes can be made but theres far too many being made and they all point to lack of thought more than anything.
I got three babes by my hubby...another one of my pet hates is.....people who have kids by different men/women.....you cant keep up with who is ruddy who. I made my Mick promise that if ever...he wud not have any other kids with someone else...he did promise but he wont be going anywhere,anyway.I think...its not fair on the kids if the father has a family by two women.I wud kill him....and I wudnt do it either
Anyway...sorry about this...cant give you advice bcuz the situation just puzzles me so much.
Apologies about my comments...no offence and I am talking more of the situation which is all too common.
I dont mean you personally. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/8/2005 4:45:01 AM | veep:
"How exactly did you get pregnant? Because you said "we got pregnant". "
i'm assumin' that's aimed at me.... well... i kinda helped.... incidentally, i KNEW the second conception happened...! i remember thinkin' "oh, shit, i'm a dad!" | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/8/2005 4:51:42 AM | I have a few comments, not judgements although you may veiw some of what I have to say as being rather harsh. Suffice it to say that we recognize in others traits that we are familiar with so some of what I am saying is based on my own recognition of where you are at.
Background, I am not quite 46 and have a son 27 1/2 and a daughter 26 today, a grandson nearly 7 and another grandchild on the way. If you do the math, you can see that I had my kids when I was really young. Far younger than your profile states, yet from your comments I can't say too far off emotionally.
First, I see you already ARE a single parent of 2 boys, so it is a little late to be afraid to be one. I am sure you have been one long enough to know what is ahead of you.
Second, having unsafe sex when you are the sole provider for 2 children already is atrociously irresponsible. Never mind the question of contraception. How could you possibly sit and explain to those children that for a few fleeting moments of pleasure they are now losing their only secure parent? Have you ever thought what that would be like? There is simply no excuse under the sun (including self esteem issues) that could vinidcate such a lack of concern for yourself or those who rely on you.
Third, by withholding this information from the babies father you are completely removing the option of him suggesting abortion, which is quite convenient for you. It isnt at all considerate of him though. It certainly is dealing him an unfair hand. To sit here on this forum and discuss this with a bunch of strangers around the world and not sitting with him is really startling.
In this day and age it is alway shocking to hear that someone would find themselves in this situation. I do believe though that this is more wishful thinking on your part than an actual problem. I would certainly encourage you to exercise more thought in the future for the sake of yourself, your children and any potential mate.
Knowing someone for a couple of months is not even close to establishing the kind of relationship or bond necessary for bringing a child into this world.
I know how much children are the greatest blessings we will have in our life. There is nothing greater. I have also seen many children who are walking around without the love and support they require and that form of abuse is as soul wrenching as is considering abortion.
I hope for you that you are able to have more children in your life when you are involved in a happy healthy relationship (regardless how long it lasts) and in the meantime, that you are able to love and support yourself and the family that you have already been blessed with. | |
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vp2
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Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 34 | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/8/2005 5:41:05 AM |
i admit that i am not that good at condoms use...that is one of my weaknesses. Low self esteem i guess?
Loveskids...I am not judging or trying to be mean, but this is a VERY FRUSTRATING  topic for me, personally. I have children who are better with the responsibility that comes with sex, than some adult friends! My bestest friend in the world, consistently has unprotected sex...so many pregnancy scares every couple of months...that it makes me want to puke and then ring her friggin' uterus! (err...neck!) As I tell her...this is not even about pregnancy...this is about DISEASES and DEATH! DAMMIT!!
And if you think condoms are a lovekill...you think your self-esteem is lowered by saying to your new partner, "No glove...no love!" then try telling him that you have an STD or HIV and seeif he is still there in the a.m. or see how THAT effects your self-esteem!
Now...to the actual QQ...as mentioned by others and yourself...single parenting is not the black label that it once was...it can be done successfully! (me, me, me! I did it!) But there is a HUGE difference in explaining to your kids that daddy is not around cause mommy and he no longer love one another, and daddy is not around because he was simply a week-long lovefest! Not to mention the medical history aspect...not knowing what things this child could face genetically and so on.
So what's to do? Me...I believe in abortion being available as a women's right...but I also know I am unable to participate in such. There is the "morning after pill" which is less invasive than an abortion...but has to be taken sooner. Adoption...takes a very special soul to be able to carry a child for 40 weeks and then relinquish him/her...especially hard when you already have a child. What a dilemma! One that something as simple as a condom could prevent! Good luck...prayers and thoughts with you!! | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/8/2005 6:58:24 AM | Well u could either have the baby and give it up for adoption or think we're only human we all make mistakes and have an abortion just in future be more careful don't use it as a form of contraception. I'm a single parent and I know that I will not be having another child without being in a solid relationship or possibly even married. There is no way I would have a child with someone I have just started dating u aren't giving yourself a chance u possibly don't even know each other really what if the other person is a right nightmare and after a few wks u were like oh gosh I couldn't possibly see him again.
Well my friend was 3mths preg and had been dating her guy 3mths I told her she was mad and unfortunately she had a misscarriage and is now no longer with the guy but it wasnt for those reasons it was she realised she was only with him because of the situation she was in and that he wasn't really the person for her.
I dunno each to their own ofcourse as said I'd think ppl are mad to do it but suppose stranger things have happened
:) | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/8/2005 7:38:03 AM | oh ya that just makes it better!!!! u knew eachother 2 months and it "looks" like the relationship is good? u should know not think...
I think that it is up to u to what it is u want to do. But think about it, do u see yourself knowing this person forever?
BC is not 100% and you should of used protection anyways. BC does not prevent STD'S.
Then again, who I am I to judge? I am only giving an opinion. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/8/2005 9:51:52 AM | Thanks everyone for your comments, even though some kinda bashed me but i know in a way i deserved it.
I still haven't gotten a positive test yet but i am almost 100 percent sure cause the spotting i was gettign at the time my period should haev showed up has now dissapeared (something that has happened to me in all my pregnancies).
I am pretty sure i will not abort, i am already having guilty dreams of a baby gettign ripped apart by a vacuum, so i don't think i could ever go through with it.
I still think i will wait a bit till i get a for sure positive test before i tell him, adn i guess we will see how big of a man he is. This could be intersting. I am fairly finacially set, i hae a house which i jsut bought, and my own car, so the money really isn't a big issue, jsut more of the fact that i feel really alone on this one. It may be a tough pregnancy due otthe fact that i have been told that i am ANTI E, which means that my body will fight against my baby if the father carries the E antibody. There is about a 50 percent chance of that and if he does carry it the baby will need a blood transfusion while im pregnant. Nobody is gonna be too happy with this (family etc) at first so it will be hard. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/9/2005 7:43:10 AM |
I still think i will wait a bit till i get a for sure positive test before i tell him, adn i guess we will see how big of a man he is.
Loveskids...I hope you don't think I was bashing...I was ranting! LOL
What you said above is disturbing, though....
WHY not tell him NOW?! Even if you end up not preggers...why shouldn't he experience all of this with you?? He is 50% responsible for such...and what better way to test "how big of a man he his" than to see his reaction NOW...if he will be with you during this trying time...go to the Docs for all of the tests and counseling, etc.? | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/9/2005 9:25:30 AM |
If you get pregnant a week after you meet someone,it shows irresponsibility.You are not responsible to raise a child if you dont grow up first.
Oh, please, gimme a break.
I got pregnant with my oldest son during a "one night stand". There was no possibility of a relationship, and the father wanted nothing to do with his son (who is now 14). In fact, he has still never seen him.
I'm a terrific single mom. If you don't believe me, ask my son! He's at the top of his class with a genius IQ, does his share of housework (takes out garbage, mows lawn, cleans his room), is like and respected by friends, teachers and family members, AND is the only 14-year-old I know that still gives me a hug & kiss and says "I love you, mom" in front of his friends!
I'm doing a great job all by myself, regardless of the fact that his father is not in the picture. I know I'm a responsible person! | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/9/2005 9:37:51 AM | As a fellow single momma (And to me...a TRUE single parent is one who raises their child/ren TRULY single-handedly...not "shared custody", visits to non-custodian parent on weekends and etc, but TRULY by themselves!) I have to give BlueSorceress a hand!  I've always said that single parenting has it's benefits...and the children turn into incredibly sensitive, productive adults. :)
I DO believe that getting preggers a week after you meet someone, from a one-nighter, from an affair, etc...DOES show irresponsibility. BUT...that does not mean you can't make a "wrong" a right!  I did! :) | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/9/2005 10:25:58 AM | | That's right, every baby is a blessing and I also believe that everything happens for a reason. It's just trying to figure out that reason that's the killer. Listen to your heart. You'll find the answer. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/9/2005 11:38:46 AM | Blue Sorceress,
I commend your post.
I was raised by a single parent, and there is not a day that goes by, that I'm not grateful for her choice.
If she would have listened to everyone around her and her family for that matter. I would have either been given up for adoption or aborted. But she chose to do what felt right to her.
I'm a lucky man! | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/9/2005 6:00:08 PM | I wouldn't get pregnant after a WEEK of knowing someone...
But, if it were to happen... then I'd have a child. I am against abortion. My little sister is adopted and have always felt very blessed she has been in our lives as well as VERY thankful her mom did not have an abortion!
Life is not perfect.. I've always wanted a solid relationship before having kids.. I'm 38... so if I were to get pregnant.. I'd feel like it was meant to be... even though I'm not in a solid relationship. | |
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