| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/9/2005 9:00:28 PM | | What kind of life would that kid have? I have a cousin who is adopted and has spent the last decade and a half looking for birth parents that dont want to be found. People never realize that they have created a human being with thoughts and emotions that can influence every decision that they make in their lives. And some of those decisions can have catastrophic repurcussions. Some adoptions do work, but until it is made easier for both the birth parents and the adoptive parents, to me it is a very potentially painfull option. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/10/2005 1:52:02 PM | Loves
To the single moms who have done a good job with their children....I say...well done
but lets face it...you are exceptions to the rule.The statistics determine otherwise....that its not good for the child.
Its not good for a man or a woman to have children,based on such a flimsy" relationship"
I have seen women have kids by virtually every man that they have been with.Its not good and not fair on the child.He/she deserves your love and respect. You shud provide some sort of stabilty in his/her life and unfortunatly....it does not come after a week and the majority of children of single parents go on to become single parents.
Look.....this is 2005.....respect your person ,if nothing else....use birth contro or self control....sorry but I have seen too much of this to be an accidentl...its awry hormones gone to pot and you really need to address that issue.......responsibility and respect for yourself.
Sorry...no offence intended and all respect to successful single mothers.....but in MOST cases...it does not WORK....neither does abortion.Thats wrong as well. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/10/2005 2:10:38 PM | | OK. Both should use birth control. Whether a man is "fixed" lol, or the woman is on the pill. After only a week of dating how well can you really know that person. What if they have an STD? All I'm saying is that both partners must be careful. But even after all precautions are taken and the women still becomes pregnant the responsibility for this new life remains for both. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/11/2005 11:54:23 AM | ^^^^you are correct. Therefore both parties should be involved in the discussion of what should be done.
I am not an advocate of abortion as a form of birth control, however, I could never suggest that it not be an option for someone to consider. There are strong and valid arguements on both sides of that discussion. All I can say is that as long as women could get pregnant there have been women terminating unwanted or unexpected pregnancies (often meeting their demise in the doing).
As for adoption yet another heated and unresolved debate. How wonderful though that there are options for couples who cannot conceive that they can provide love and support for a child that does not have a parent capable of doing so. The jury is still out though on what goes on emotionally for those children (from fetus to adult). I know several adults who were adopted and raised by adoptive parents (good solid homes). They range in ages from 40 to 55. I would not be able to say that any of them have resolved the emotional baggage stemming from that and a few have passed that dysunction on to the next generation. Don't get me wrong, they are fine funcitioning people, just emotionally scarred.
In other words, there is no easy answer to this situation. The only easy thing would be to have been responsible and taken precautions. How many people would run across the street in front of moving vehicle?? Same thing can be said to have had unprotected sexual relations with someone we hardly know. Taking your chances that you won't get hit! | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/11/2005 8:56:50 PM | Hey IrishMary...
Thanks for pointing out that, while you respect the single 'rents who have been successful, that statistically speaking, it is not the best thing. Nice to see you be...well, nice about it!
I do want to add...I know many single parents and ironically, they have the most successfully raised children! I think this days and ages single parents are going to make a statement and change those former stats! :) Heck...even singletons are adopting nowadays! | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/11/2005 9:39:29 PM | In response to the single parent comments on here I have to agree that there is simply no statistical validation that children from those homes are worse off at all. A child raised in a loving single parent environment will far surpass a child raised by two dysfunctional parents hands down. I was married for part of my childrens up bringing and single the rest. (Single, no visititation, no support, no influence...for those who want to discount it). The children who were in and out of trouble, in and out of lock up, dealing drugs in my community all came from two parent, higher demographic homes. The homes where people threw money at their problems and children, not love and guidance. Sorry it is OT but have read much relating back to that.
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/11/2005 10:32:48 PM | I did just this! I met someone online.....NOT on a dating site and we chatted online and via phone for two months but then we conceived a child the first time we slept together! Yikes! Talk about a shocker. We were both already single parents. Well no surprise the moment I told him I was pregnant he chose to never see me again. I wanted my baby to have a daddy. I don't agree with those that believe single parents cannot do a good job. My almost 17 yr old son would tell you differently.
To all those that are bashing you, most of us have had sex at some point too early in a relationship. Even some of those that are bashing you for doing so. As for being responsible, as adults the people bashing you should know birth contol isn't 100% effective! That darling baby boy I had in early 2004 I did place for adoption. I see him and his parents regularly.....thats called an open adoption. It is a tough choice to make and heartbreaking but in the end it is worth it. I wouldn't trade the fact that my babe is here in this world and happy and healthy for anything. His infertile parents, that I chose, are of course overjoyed to finally be parents. I wish you well.
From a Fellow Canadian. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/12/2005 9:32:23 AM | Sorry love but you read it WRONG.
There is stats evidence to suggest that children of single parents are not as successful as those with two parents.
Again...hats off to the ones who have done a good job but the EVIDENCE is strong and compelling in the UK and I am sure in the USA too.
Obviously a child MAY be better off with a single parent in leiu of dysfunctional parents but its obvious that the dysfunctional parents are eventually going to split and be single parents.
The evidence is that two loving parents are better than one.
Actually..its not really single parents that we are discussing....its the events leading to single parenthood.
Its as if .....its some bolt out the blue and one doesn't know how it happened....if you really don't know the man.........why sleep with him.......to put it in a nutshell.
A child may come along and he/she deserves a bit more love,respect,consideration than...will you or won't you keep him/her because you don't know the father. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/12/2005 6:31:10 PM | | Well I like to think I am against abortion, but that situation might just require one. If you dont know someone longer then a week then it could go in so many directions, he could be abusive, psychotic, intolerable, and well having a child with someone you hate causes so much pain on both sides. But I dont think after holding a child in my womb for nine months I would be able to let it go. That is just something I dont even want to think about. But logic would take over and id most likely have an abortion. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/12/2005 6:33:37 PM | | Red I compeltely agree, my father was adopted at the age of twelve, needless to say he died on skid row and its probably because he had such a horrible life at an age where a good life is the most important. So adoption is defenatly out of the question for me. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 64 | |
| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/12/2005 6:35:51 PM | | I'm too smart for that to happen to me. Unless it was forcibly, against my will. In that case the guy would either be dead and I would be taking care of bothersome loose ends with the police...or...I would be plotting how to kill him. I'd be pretty busy either way. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/13/2005 4:15:29 AM | Red adoption is never a not painful option, as a birthmom I can attest that it was hell to let go of my baby. You speak of birth parents that don't want to be found. Well today alot of adoptions are open meaning birth parents chose the adoptive parents and they have an ongoing relationship like friends or extended family. My baby will never have to go looking for me and will always know of my love as I see him regularly. That is more the norm today for people that chose adoption at birth.
As for the child that was adopted at 12, that is completely different then a newborn adoption. If a child wasn't adopted until age 12 they are likely very damaged long before they are adopted. A healthy newborn wouldn't wait as there are millions of couples looking to adopt healthy newborn babies. My son left the hosptial with me and his adoptive parents and we all spent on day night together away from the hospital and then he went home with his parents.
People are so uneducated about how adoption really works today. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/13/2005 8:21:20 PM |
What does everyone else think? If i find out in a week or so if i am pregnant, is it right to keep that from him till i make up my own mind and i can assess the relationship?
He has the right to know and participate in the decision making process.
This is a serious decision that has to be made. You should perhaps keep all options on the table.
I wish you good luck. | |
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vp2
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Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 68 | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 9/15/2005 12:40:39 PM | | i say u should talk with the other person before choosing anything.....and if ur both ok with adoption, go that route, i know many close family and friends of my own who are unable to have children who would flip for a chance to be a parent and make great ones at that..... | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 1/30/2009 8:48:38 PM | | I'd say you should've established a relationship before you hopped into bed, but, if it's done...I'd say "oops" and then try to establish some sort of relationship with each other before buckling down for the long, hard ride of child-rearing...or see if each other agree to adoption as another option. | |
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| getting pregnant by someone u have been dating for a week
Posted: 1/30/2009 8:55:59 PM | Ok what's done is done...you don't believe in abortions which is fine...although others here have accused you of being irresponsible which to a certain extent you may have been especially the no condom with someone you barely know...moving forward though if I were in your shoes i would think TWICE about adopting the child out. No one is ever really prepared to be a parent, nor does parenthood come with a manual, you would be amazed how Mother Nature helps out. These days there are so many places you could get help from with raising your child....and no just because your raising your child on your own wont make you a bad mother nor an irresponsible one...even if you and this guy were to get married tomorow there are no garantees that he's going to stick around anyway...way all your options out first...Motherhood is one of the most amazing things anyone can experience. good luck  | |
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