| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:49:51 PM | | and after the fact...they tend to blame the significant other on whom they cheat...most psychologists say this is fairly classical...the cheater almost can't admit to themselves they were wrong...it's much easier on their psyches if it was someone else's fault or they were somehow driven to it...that's why you hear so many people who are cheating telling you about their partner's faults...they actually come to believe it over time too...that they or the affair somehow an "exception" because they were under such great stress or so unhappy with their significant other...well, you get the idea... | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:21:19 PM | | I personally think they have a self esteem problem. Same with women. They aren't happy with themselves and are looking for an ego boost. The affair is a temporary fix. Then they have to look in the mirror sometime. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 8/11/2009 7:41:37 AM | | Men and women are wired differently. Men have a much more physical need for sex. Where as women crave the emotional part of sex. If a man does not receive sex often enough he will look outside the marriage to fulfill his needs. Men can physically need sex several times a day. Yes there are women with the same physical needs but they are few and far between. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 8/11/2009 7:46:39 AM | I think men have affairs the same way a woman would have an affair.
Could be no connection at home any longer, one of them are not having sex as frequently as the other would like, things change in some relationships. It isnt always just the sexual department. People need to be more open and if there are issues you should communicate it with the other. If all else fails leave the relationship you shouldnt be in one if you cant be faithful. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 8/11/2009 7:51:52 AM | | OP, the same reason why women have affairs, because they're not satisfied. Honestly if people are not satisfied then just leave. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:39:30 AM | I am not a cheater, but I am related to a cheater by birth, so my experience is foretunately limited. But, this I know, the vast majority of men who have affairs do so to fill a need. Most men are who cheat do not do so promiscuously - although those that do seem to get the headlines.
Men cheat because they meet a woman who provides something / fills in something that is missing at home. Be it something as innocuous as a smile or a casual compliment, or even something more overt like an in your face come-on. Many men, caught in a moment of weakness, just like women, can be walking down that path before they even know it.
While I am not excusing this behavior, I do know that a bad home life can suck a man's defenses right down the drain. In those circumstances a man has to be guarded all the time. This is not to say that a marriage should be dissolved when things get difficult, Lord knows the great number of marriages that have come back from the brink, but that in those circumstances greater self-control is required.
Further, lack of character is a contributing factor. I am one that believes men and women can be friends with out going down the sexual road. But it does require self control, character, openness with spouses, and guarded feelings. But most of all it requires being open and honest with yourself as to your feeling about the "friend."
Now there are those men who do cheat as a way of life. I have no respect for those losers. Satyrs, libertines, seducers, aldulterers: These are men of no character. Men whom I would lump in to the same pot as sociopaths. They have no feelings for other save what they can get from them. They car not that they may be spreading disease or cause the harm of those close to them.
TK
{I've had this discussion before, I don't think I can cheat, just the thought of doing so leaves me cold. I'm thankful for that} | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:55:44 AM | "Further, lack of character is a contributing factor. I am one that believes men and women can be friends with out going down the sexual road. But it does require self control, character, openness with spouses, and guarded feelings. But most of all it requires being open and honest with yourself as to your feeling about the "friend.""
It is pretty easy for me to be friends with women, without it turning sexually. The key is to find women that don't attract you in the sexually manner. If a man hangs around a woman he's attracted to too often, there are bound to draw more interest in her, whereas, if they connect, just not in the sexual way, it is easy to just go out and enjoy their company, and there is no expectations. JMO!!!!
But most men cannot go that route. If they are not attracted to them, they will most likely not hang with them too often, and the same goes for women, and that is a shame. Again, JMO!!!! | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:03:12 PM | | I think both males and females have affairs....men have them more because they don't have enough blood to circulate both their heads...only one at a time!!! | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 8/25/2009 8:49:28 AM | Women have affairs too. Both sexes do. From my own personal experience it is because in everything we do in life, we are told that you need variety. "VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE" The other reason that comes to mind is that when a couple starts taking each other for granted they get bored and look elsewhere.
And the dreaded MENOPAUSE, for women I think it should be called PAUSE ON MEN. You ladies lose your desire once the eggs are gone but we men keep manufacturing that sperm .
The most important reason for me is PASSION. That initial excitement that only comes from discovering a brand new woman. By brand new I mean a woman who you have not seen naked or even kissed yet. There's the adrenaline rush of the anticipation of how she will look, what sounds she will make, what things she will do. It's the total sensual erotic turn on.
Please dont write me calling me a pig or a dog or any of that nonsense. I am only being honest. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:29:27 PM | Because some guys get sick and tired of banging the same trim day in and day out. We want variety and fact of the matter is, we tend to get bored very easily and quickly.
As for what intentions or results a guy intends to achieve from it, hardly anything. Its all about self gratification. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:32:02 PM | __Because you ladies let them. Do not have affairs with attached males.
^^^I agree. The women should take part of the blame for letting a guy have an affair too.. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:33:23 PM | | Men cheat due to personal issues within themselves, which they conveniently try and project the blame on their gf or wife for rather than be a man and see a shrink and get them resolved. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:26:17 AM | "A recent study showed that the couples who were happiest and had the lowest divorce rate were those where the woman was at least five years younger than her husband -- and when she's better educated....
What's the key to remaining faithful? Pretty obvious: a decent amount of sex. Of the respondents, 44 percent said they had sex at least once a week and 32 percent are having it two to four times a month. Two percent of the couples, who are obviously a little more limber, are having sex every day."
http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/10/27/the-key-to-a-happy-marriage-a-younger-smarter-wife/?icid=webmail|wbml-aim|dl5|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lemondrop.com%2F2009%2F10%2F27%2Fthe-key-to-a-happy-marriage-a-younger-smarter-wife%2F
Is there anyone who didn't know that? | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:33:46 AM |
Emotional disconnect and sexual opportunity. I would add to that - Low self -esteem / self Worth And a Willing Enabler.
Women who cheat Need someone to cheat with
Men who cheat Need someone to cheat with
I Strongly believe that the Enabler (one who Knows) the person they are messing around with Is Married/Taken/In a Relationship, is also inflicted with a very Low sense of Self worth, zero respect for other people - their lives and relationships, and often feels incapable of finding someone who is Free.
I knew a woman who excused her behaviour (she dated almost exclusively Married men!  ) - her "excuse"? She blamed the mens wives for not "Doing her job"!!! When I asked her: "So, is it 'his job' to go outside the marriage to 'fix the marriage'?" to which she replied: "So, you think I'm a slut don't you!?" .. "Yep.. yep I do."
IF your relationship isn't working - End it. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:43:19 AM | | No different than a women having an affair. Its usually a lack of something from the relationship they are presently in. It can be emotional, sexual, financial, communication,ect. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:50:18 AM |
Because you ladies let them. Do not have affairs with attached males. So.. Every woman in the world who is single stops having sex with attached men.. Wow, the "oldest profession" would be a good stock to invest in at that point.
Putting the blame on women who "enable" cheating is mysoginistic at it's finest. When you put a bunch of men together (say as in prison) they make do with what they can have...If ya know what I'm sayin. Last I heard, prison's were'nt co-ed. Same thing happens in women's facilities apparently.
IF your relationship isn't working - End it. People assume that the relationship isn't working, when often it is working just fine, they have no intention or desire to leave, both love and display acts of loving in their partnership. They want to grow old together particularily when they've built a fun, fulfilling financially stable and suitable life partnership together. They indulge in extra-marital fulfilment because they want to feel the excitement and limerence period of a new sex partner.. they want to feel desire and made to feel desirable, this feeling often is diminished in long-term pair bonding.. Affairs will go on for eternity due to the nature of of all living creatures. Affairs have always been and always will be.
Chronic cheaters will even commit to one partner even when they know they will not be able to commit to monogamy due to humans inherent need to "pack" (pack-animals like wolves for instance) and bond.
Marriages end due to infidelity and being unable to forgive.. Most are unable to forgive because of the moral teachings of church and society who council it's citizens to love possessively, territorially and jealously.
There are currently three active threads on infidelity.. again I ask.. why are they never deemed redundant.. I assume because we are all fascinated with the subject and we are all trying our best to understand. Some I see don't look past their usual pat answers of If women didn't allow it.. men wouldn't be able to do it. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:54:40 AM | Well wishes , we've tried the "If it feels good do it" since the 60's.
Hows that been working out ?? ...  | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 11:13:43 AM | Why do Women have affairs ?
Implies the respionsibiltiy is one 1 person in a affair, as if the front 2 wheels of a car drive it along
~sc~ | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:07:21 PM |
Well wishes , we've tried the "If it feels good do it" since the 60's.
Hows that been working out ?? ... For those that have been married to a loving life-partner whom they're still married to .. I suspect it's working out GREAT for them or their everyday mundane issues that they were'nt able to remedy would have forced them to part.  | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:14:18 PM |
For those that have been married to a loving life-partner whom they're still married to .. I suspect it's working out GREAT for them or their everyday mundane issues that they were'nt able to remedy would have forced them to part.
Any more where you came from ?...  | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:30:26 PM | ^^^ Yes, darl'n.. there's a whole nation of em. I'm from Canada where we're mostly polite and sorry and more often than not ~ forgiving.. even when it's not our fault  
Folks here are known to say sorry to the telephone pole that they just walked into .. lol
Or to your president when he neglected to acknowledge our nation after all the help and financial aid we provided after 9/11 ... Whoops! how unCanadian of me to point that out .. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:37:34 PM | I' m on my way !!.............. Whoops , guess i gotta wait until i'm drafted ! ..
You mean to tell me an American President LIED !? ...........Next thing you know, you're gonna tell me he's having "jollies" with a 21 year old kid, and i have to pay for it !!
Depends on what is, is I suppose !! .....  | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:44:29 PM | wanting an itch scratched... whether emotional or purely physical
and basically selfish | |
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