| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 1:14:49 AM | Simple...this goes for both genders..
By disrespecting your partner,yourself & your relationship...
And frankly I am tired of hearing it blamed on the lunar orbit,primal instincts, pheromones and the rising tide...... | |
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cazar
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Joined: 4/28/2005
Msg: 52 | |
| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 2:04:56 AM | I agree with CK ....
also you forgot hurricanes, acts of God, tsunamis and my mother in law and mothers as well as family and peer pressure...
If you are going to **** around, why the hell get married in the first place...
respects | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 3:57:44 AM |
If you are going to **** around, why the hell get married in the first place...
Because we are socialized into accepting something that goes against the our deepest and darkest urges. Monogamy is something that has been in existence for very short period of time, relatively speaking. When cracks appear in the facade of what we've been told that we want, then we are prone to those urges we've tried to repress. Whether or not one decides to cheat is determined by how strong their convictions (or rather, what they've been programmed to think is right and wrong) really are. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 4:01:38 AM | | cazar, i couldnt agree with you more!!!! stay single and ya dont hurt anyone. but some guys and women think its soooooo cool, well i was married 31 years and was true to my love and im proud of it! | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 4:06:02 AM | | Some people are just to spineless to call it off before they have a back up plan. Male or Female its the same schtick, insecurity. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 4:11:36 AM | ^ Could be that they just couldn't understand their feelings until the right catalyst came along.
By the way, outstanding shots of tornadoes touching down! | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 5:15:40 AM | "People" Have affairs because iit's all a sign of control. Control over the relationship they are in and control over the affair relationship. I see it as, if they "feel" like they don't have any control in the relationship they look elsewhere to full fill that need.
Control is a disease on it's own. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 5:18:58 AM | | ^ There are just so many variables which lead to the path of infidelity - many of which seem contradictory in nature. The real question is would you forgive someone who strayed since, in all likelihood, this is what will happen in the majority of relationships? | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 5:26:27 AM | Forgiveness is a big amend word. I would look at it would I want to be forgiven if I had an affair on my partner. Especially if I were to make amends to my spouse and take total ownership for what I done. I believe that everyone should have forgiveness and move on in life. Life is too short to harbor resentments over what someone did to us or what we did to ourselves. By forgiving someone or ourselves we are growing in a mature way and grasping that inner happiness and also being able to trust others and ourselves.
Now, if I were not to forgive someone for having an affair on me then how would I be entirely ready and open to a new relationship if I am still carrying the restenment of the past. To let go is to love again too. Why burden myself with the worry that my new partner is going to have an affair on me?
To start a new relationship I want to be totally clear of any past resentments.
Ahhhhhh LIfe.....and looooooove | |
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cazar
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Joined: 4/28/2005
Msg: 60 | |
| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 6:20:35 AM | well great responses ..I will do a follow up
If you know you cannot be faithful ....dont get married ..simple as that ...
that is what I meant ....
temptations everywhere ..you must be strong ( elmer gantry ) great flick | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 6:44:17 AM | Well, there is also one more scenario to the above.
Man worked most of his life in pre-dominantly male environment (no military though).
'Bolt from the sky', meets someone ~ all missing elements in life suddently found ~ marriage, rebuilding his career ~ all should be fine.
BLAST! New job, new colleagues - pre-dominantly female. At home - everything man possibly could look for.
Yes, BEING & WORKING IN FEMALE ENVIRONMENT (constant teasing, innuendos, helping each other... everything possible working interactions could bring.) That is that MEN - sometimes - CANNOT HANDLE. Inevitable happens & happened, separate routes.
Relationship is w o r k & f u n too but it takes t w o.
bzzzzzzzzzzzz | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 7:25:57 AM | I think some people, do it so they can brag about it to there freinds. They aren't smart enough to see it makes them look like a real big loser. Most of them are big time liers to. Gee makes a person really want one. (NOT!!!!!!) Oh, I have never cheated in my life, and have no plans to do so. I have heard some men say that they see someone that they can't have, and its like they do everything to get that person to prove they can do it. Then they are proud of them selfs for being able to get it, they think they still got what it takes. Yea, they still got the old creep factor. 
But people do it for different reasons. Not all people are the same. | |
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kce33
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 63 | |
| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 7:27:07 AM | ok, so we all know that cheating is morally wrong.. and it seems like most od the posters are aginst cheating and have never cheated, thats all very good...
i have many friends and i know many many other people and alot of them cheat.. the funny thing is that these are all good intelligent people, they are not bums or trash, most have great careers, great families, they truely love their spouses.. but they all seem to have one important thing in common, they have a great relationship but they lack intimate attention from their spouse which causes them to look outside the relationship to find it..
they cheat for fullfilment, to meet a special need to make their life complete.. an affair in most of the situations that i know of have strenghtened the relationship and keep them from getting divorced...
bottom line to me is how can we honestly bash a cheater that is just trying to have a little bit of happeness.. I do beleive that if dating people would stop going for the chemistry thing and payed more attention to relationship compatability issues they would not end up down the road having to look for something thats lacking in the first place..
I don't think we need to keep putting these people down because we never know when and if we will end up in the same situation..
kce | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 8:22:34 AM | | A question was also asked if you are dating someone new and he/she told you that they cheated in their past relationship (s), would you still pursue this new relationship? My answer, nope. There is never ever a valid reason for anyone to cheat no matter how sincere they try to make it sound. Once a cheat,,always a cheat (in my book). | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 8:54:29 AM | In my books too, 'ripley65' - ONCE A CHEAT, ALWAYS A CHEAT.
bzzzzzzzzz | |
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vp2
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Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 67 | |
| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 1:38:28 PM | bottom line to me is how can we honestly bash a cheater that is just trying to have a little bit of happeness.. I do beleive that if dating people would stop going for the chemistry thing and payed more attention to relationship compatability issues they would not end up down the road having to look for something thats lacking in the first place..
I don't think we need to keep putting these people down because we never know when and if we will end up in the same situation..
if something is lacking, why not bring it up with their significant other? If they are not happy, they should leave the relationship. How can we bash a cheater? very easily, cheating is a cowards way of finding that happyness. Towards the end of my marriage, we were both apparently unhappy. I tried to anything that I could to "rekindle" the happiness. She decided it would be easier to sleep around. Cheating is not something small like, "oops, sorry sweetheart, I forgot to take out the trash". It can cause a lot of serious problems. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 1:49:44 PM | | The same reason woman have affars. They lack attention at home, in search of diversity and inner satisfaction. Being with the same person who nags you all of the time can get boring. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 2:30:30 PM | | I would submit that REAL men no not have affairs... only older boys. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 3:34:25 PM | Two main points behind cheating. #1 That person is no longer committed to the current relationship. but #2. Fears the idea of being alone. Therefore he/she does not competely and honestly sever the main relatinship before starting another incognito one, just incase it doesn't work- they have something to fall back on. Most of the time cheating episodes don't last long. They almost always soon return to what they know is safe. But on occasion, if the fling works out- hearts get broken. Either the truth comes out through confession or subconscious confession by allowing themselves to get caught.
-D | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 4:14:36 PM |
Most men are ****ing dogs not all but most!
I would submit that REAL men no not have affairs... only older boys.
This kind of thinking is sheer stupidity. Since women cheat in roughly equal numbers, then you are painting them with the same brush, are you not? This is NOT a male thing but rather a matter of opportunity. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 7:23:50 PM | ^ Nope. I think you missed my point. They are not older boys or silly girls, but people who during the trials and tribulations of relationships were given an opportunity to cheat while they were at a weak point. I pass no judgement on them as individuals since the real test of character is how they deal with it afterwards.  | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/12/2005 7:34:29 PM |
Can't imagine why
Sounds like making excuses
Nah. Just trying not to see the world in such absolutes. | |
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