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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > WHY do men just disappear??      Home login  
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 vanilla4choklat
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 226
WHY do men just disappear??Page 10 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Im down!! The same shit has happened to me without explanation, he then later told me that I, ME, owed HIM an apology! WTF?
 Choita2
Joined: 1/16/2008
Msg: 227
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 1/31/2008 8:36:55 PM
I haven't read all of the postings but my opinion on the question is... women can juggle many things at once (decisions to make, problems, issues, etc.), and we talk it out to work it out, but when men are faced with many things like that, they retreat into their cave to sort things out or work things out on their own. Once they've done that, they can carry on. If they respect you and your feelings, they'll be upfront with you and then you need to step back to let him do his thing. Hopefully, they won't take too long because if they do, they could lose a good thing, you. If they aren't upfront and honest, he's probably not the one for you. I wouldn't go passing blame on him (ie another gal) unless you have facts. I wouldn't take the blame either. I'd just take it for what it is, which sounds like it's over, sorry, and try not to analyze it. However, since I'm on this site and am not out dating (much); I may not be the best one to be giving opinions (or advice?)! lol Something to ponder anyway. Good luck!
 daylilliesback
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 228
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 1/31/2008 8:40:12 PM
@OP...sounds like to me...Hes either in a relationship or hes lives in a superficial world. I bet you he didnt expect you to agree on the meet? you called him on it and now hes afraid. my guess is, he enjoyed the chase and the excitement in the fantasy land of talking with someone like most do but now, when its reality and your wanting to meet him....the chase and excitement is either over or hes scared and running. been there done that, few times to know better now.
 aleperu
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 229
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 8:55:14 AM
I just want to say, that is not right! And we should just simply put their nicknames and maybe we all were "dating" the same guy...
 cbebe1
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 230
view profile
History
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:09:24 AM
Don't you know that everyone deserves honesty? It has happened to me and I would rather have heard the words than nothing at all. One day all is well and the next day....nothing.

I need a man that will stand up to my face and tell me truth....even if it's not what I want to hear.
 domino40
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 231
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:27:07 AM
this is really simple, he has most likely seen someone else on another page, there is too much choice on these sites!!!
if he wanted to contact you he would, i wouldnt contact him again move on yourself!!
did he answer your call reply to your email?? if not that should tell you all you need to know......sad fact....... women do it too has to be said.... comes with the territory on dating sites!!!
 dirtydeeds101
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 232
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 10:38:39 AM
I know this is an old post but it is a frequently asked question..what changed his mind?
Same answer ...door # 2!!
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 233
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 10:52:02 AM
I dated over thirty guys, and all the same story. All guys are like this. So, I resorted to reading books about this phenomenon, in order to understand men better. Why Men Love B##I##T##C##E##S is the best book to buy and read, because now I have a much better concept on how the dating thing goes. I can weed out men quickly without getting hurt from reading this book. It has really helped me in understanding where they are coming from.
 katt_411
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 234
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 11:01:08 AM
hm ... so they weren't abducted by aliens, then?

:)
 dirtydeeds101
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 235
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 11:10:16 AM
Somebody mentioned some sort of black hole that they have all disappeared to in another post similiar to this.
 pebbles_2006
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 236
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 11:24:02 AM
i met someone like that we were corresponding for 2 mos .- he also offered me that he would pay for my bus ticket to see him in Okanagan . He works a lot, 2 jobs.

Prior to knowing tha he works a lot- he calls me everyday & stays up on the phone with me. then all of a sudden, he says he would be busy working lots of hours that he wouldn't be able to call me as much (that is one sign there). Then he disappears quite a lot. sometimes no calls for a week. then after that he calls again. then when i emailed to ask if we was okay, he replies we are. then he disappears again after that.

I didn't talk to him for awhile, no calls, no emails. So I just think he is gone. I took a chance and called him one weekend. He was on his way out to take his boat with his friend & said he would call me when he comes home. No calls. the weekend passed nothing not even an email. I never saw a pic of him when we first met, not till later of our friendship/long distance romance (online). So when I finally saw his pic, he thought I was into looks, but I am not.Monday night, I finally did talk to him. He apologize for not calling that weekend.

For 2 months we've been corresponding, eventhough he wanted to come and see me and asked me to take the trip. He did like me & vice versa- He had a change of heart, He realize that the distance isn't worth pursuiing a potential relationship. (but he wasnt being honest).

So I asked him "are u already seeing someone else?", it took him awhile. But he eventually admitted to it. while we've been corresponding he met other people prior to me. And met someone else, whom He has been seeing someone & dating her for a month & a half that we've been corresponding so he was just leading me on.

*Well as for your situation, he sounds like the guy I am talking about. Move On. There is a lot of fish in the sea. I met remarkable people here. I had one bad date, so what? He is just one bad seed out of a bunch. Not all men are bad. trust me. Go meet someone new & get to know someone. good luck!
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 237
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 12:45:58 PM
The same reasons why women disappear.

1. Some people aren't that serious about dating.
2. Some people are afraid of getting into a relationship because of past experiences.
3. Some people preferred to remain single.
4. Some people are married or have a significant other
5. Some people met someone that they liked better.
6. You mentioned or did something during the date that was an automatic dealbreaker.
7. Some people are extremely busy with work or family issues.
 msflis
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 238
WHY do PEOPLE just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 12:53:05 PM
They just got bit by a radioactive spider, and they're afraid you won't understand their sudden need for a crime-fighting costume and a secret identity.

--Ms. Flis
 yajus neverno
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 239
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:00:55 PM

I cant' think of what I did to cause this??


This is the statement that I find troubling. First stop beating yourself up over it. What makes you think it was something you did? No matter what the reason, you need to find someone for YOU that accepts YOU for who YOU are. So what if something happened that turned him away, it was something he couldn't accept. Thats his problem, not yours.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 240
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History
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:19:36 PM
Why did he disappear? There's no way to know unless he tells you or you find out from someone else. I can think of a hundred different possible reasons from he changed his mind & didn't want to tell you to he died in a car wreck. On the off chance that something happened that has kept him from being able to communicate - if it were me, I'd call & email one more time and say, "Hey, I thought we had a plan to meet, I haven't heard from you. I hope you're okay. I'm calling to find out what's going on. If I don't hear from you by 5 p.m. tomorrow I'll assume it's off. Hope you're okay and I hope I hear from you." Then, forget about it. It's annoying not knowing but it boils down to two possibilities: either something very difficult happened that has prevented him from communicating or he doesn't want to. If the latter, he isn't the kind of guy you want in your life and that's really all you need to know.
 atouchoftink
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 241
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:35:25 PM
Grow balls hell they've been neutered.
 dogandcatlover
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 242
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:52:56 PM
just remember his loose not yours wait for him to contact you
 winnipeggal74
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 243
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:57:56 PM
I think this question can be answered just as neatly in the many "He/She's just not that in to you" threads.

For whatever reason, you're no longer important enough to make an effort to contact/communicate with - and the person is too socially inept to be honest with you that they're no longer interested.

Is it rude? Sure.
Disrespectful? Yep.
Particularly since some men pull a disappearing act after a lengthy and/or involved relationship where they gave every outward appearance of valuing you enough to spare 5 minutes of their time to say "goodbye".

Feel good about not having someone in your life that is mis-representing themselves, and move on to someone who truly values your company.
 HappyGilmore2
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 244
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 2:07:30 PM

I haven't read all of the postings but my opinion on the question is... women can juggle many things at once (decisions to make, problems, issues, etc.), and we talk it out to work it out, but when men are faced with many things like that, they retreat into their cave to sort things out or work things out on their own.

So much analysis around one simple answer lol! So here is the real answer to the question that seem to cause so much heartburn and analysis: A man disappears because.....tam....tam....tam.....HE DOES NOT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU lol! How about that for a straight simple answer lol! I'm sure the same holds true for ladies!
 flguy311
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 245
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History
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 2:11:27 PM
You want to know why?

Here's the answer ladies straight from a guy:

Excluding accidents and acts of God, guys disappear for 1 of 2 reasons, but they both mean the same thing.

Reason #1 He met someone else.

Reason #2 Fear of commitment.

What do both of these have in common? He's just not that into you.

Sorry to be the bearer of truth, but that's the way it is.
 engel mutter
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 246
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 2:19:42 PM
men just disappear because they change their minds? or something else happens? like........they meet someone bigger, better, funnier, prettier, sexier........

more fun...........
or they get scared
it's easier than working at a relationship
 byebye baby
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 247
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 2:35:09 PM
I believe the guys a few post above here said it, lol!! "He's just not that into you"
It happens, what can you do?? I know some here are on other sites as well, even Facebooks has applications to find "Interested" people ... we are living in a disposable, instant gratification society, it sucks too feel disposed of.
All you can do is move on, and chalk it up to another experience??
 Petite Elle
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 248
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 2:40:14 PM
First of all I have to say in the mens defense....I have talked to many men that have had the exact same story happen to them only with women.

Now....as far as the post, I have read the answer earlier. There is just to many women to choose from plain and simple. They bore easy, and there is always another just a"click" away.

Maybe we should go back to meeting men in the bar....I think the odds are greater
 Thinking88
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 249
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WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 7/31/2008 10:37:51 PM
You are so right, what you said makes total sense. I feel that I get so many "hits" from men, and then you write them a nice e-mail back, and they don't answer you back. You wonder, what changed their mind so quickly??? But.....I just don't worry about that anymore - you learn that a lot of men are playing games here and want to keep "hidden" behind the computer screen. They are really scared if something does click and goes right. Those men need to get off this site!! If they say long term, they need to mean long term. After writing to men for awhile that don't ask me out, don't answer much, or just want a pen-pal, I just don't write back or try and forget about those guys and move on.

I like your look on it with getting new flavors - there certainly are plenty of fish on this site - but it takes so much time and effort trying to find out if guys are serious are not.
I know there are nice, caring men out there. Thanks for your advice.
 virgilskid
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 250
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History
WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:00:09 AM
I'm sure I have faded away from a few girls and there are a few reasons for doing this. If I found someone else who is more interested in me and vice versa, if there just wasn't the chemistry there, if she seemed to be drifting away from me, personal problems or something happens concerning my sons, job, living arrangements, etc.. If they contact me and ask what happened I will tell them but these are grown up girls with other prospects, I think they are doing fine. I've had a few women disappear on me online, have become accepting and desensitized by it, figure they had their reasons and that's that. One came back six months later, had started seeing a guy and he treated her like crap, we are friends now but kind of cooled on being anything more with her. I know one who is a nurse and her schedule sabotaged us ever getting together, liked her quite a bit from emailing and talking on the phone, but if she can't find time to date either she's not interested in me or she's undateable. I just can't get stressed by any of this, there are so many single women out there and if I never met a girl or only saw her once, there really isn't anything to get upset about. As for now, I found a stable girl who shares her feelings and everything is good so far, I am glad to be off the dating market, whew!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > WHY do men just disappear??