| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:16:39 AM | I have had this happen to me also with 3 differentmen that I saw for about 2 months each. I would much prefer some answer even if it was I suck, or that he found someone else. I think that it is just common courtesy.
For email chats with people I have not met and were not serious just banter back and forth I don't let it bother me, because it really wasn't anything to befin with. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:32:18 AM | | Exactly I've had it happen on more than one occasion with guys I've met on here, they say they're interested and want to see me again and then they avoid me like the plague....but I definately think it's exactly like you said madeuscreem they're afraid to say "I'm not interested anymore" And I've said exactly that to them..... | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/1/2008 12:23:09 PM | For the same reason women do, there is no future in it.
Some people, both men and women don`t have the courage
to speak up before bailing out, sad........ | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/1/2008 4:07:48 PM | | women have just as much trouble saying they're not interested too... hard to disappoint someone like that | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/2/2008 7:54:13 AM | | Oh how I agree 100% about what goes around comes around.Just hate it thou when people just keep saying they are still interested and keep giving the other person hope,why not just say not interested and be over with it. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/2/2008 2:52:45 PM | | Exactly priddygypsy........they do it all the time to me and I don't have a problem with telling someone I'm not interested I think it's less hurtful than leading someone on, so I guess I'm the exception of women that do the same thing, I won't lead someone on it's not right.... | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/2/2008 6:29:26 PM | I really don't feel good about having "Negative" thoughts towards men... Yet it's hard to contain at times here...LOL!! But I've noticed some men that "Disappear" are the ones looking/and found someone they 'think' is better, and they don't feel obligated to extend the courtesy of telling someone they were interested in, it's gone. And by just 'disappearing' they have the option to "Reappear" with an excuse... had to work outta town, got busy with their kids, family issues...bla bla bla.. It's hard not to allow yourself to feel a little jilted when you've spent time with someone and have expressed a mutual interest...It is very disheartning, we all wanna take chances and trust someone until they give you reason not too?? I know I'd rather not hear a guy claim to "really" like me alot and show interest unless he's sure. You can never go wrong by telling the truth. That's what I've always believed, sadly the truth sometimes hurts.
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/3/2008 9:43:52 AM |
Now....as far as the post, I have read the answer earlier. There is just to many women to choose from plain and simple. They bore easy, and there is always another just a"click" away.
both men and women do this. hey, if you're bored just say so, sweetie, so i can move on! actually, they do NOT get bored if you're really "the one." (even a player will stop playing if the *right* one comes along.)
anyway........... i think we've all come to understand the disappearing act means "just not that into you." what i (and many others) do NOT "get" is this: if someone's not that into you, then WHY oh why act wayyyy over the top pretending you're wayyyyyyyyyyy more interested than you really are??? why not just act **mildly** interested instead (that's not gonna hurt anyone's feelings...for you chicken sh*its out there! lol) the onlyyyyyyy sensical thing i can come up with is the person is trying to 'back burner' you, so pours it on.
as far as people changing their minds, yep, that happens, but i find it hard to believe someone goes from acting wildly 'in love' (ok, wildly infatuated lol) one day to disappearing the next day (or even week). there's no way people change their minds THAT fast from one extremeeeeee to the other. (lol barring finding out you're a serial killer or something!) nope, the only sensical explanation is the other person was pouring it on to 'back burner' you.
op: your case is exceptionally befuddling. reason being is, hard to imagine someone going to such great lengths as sending a plane ticket if not interested or in a 'back burner' attempt. very, very, very odd. i have a gut feeling though (and i'm basing it on what i've seen a guy friend do). i'm thinking he's not doing super well online (otherwise, no need for long distance...lol unless he's in the middle of nowhere), so that rules out him casually tossing women aside (no easy come, easy go effect). however, he's still having *some* luck with other women online and he's not going to buy a plane ticket for every chick he fancies, so i'm betting even though he's not having great luck online, he's having *some* luck and he has decided to use that plane ticket on some other girl. yeah, he liked you somewhat, but he he likes her more. he's disappeared to 'back burner' you in case this new gal (or some other gal) doesn't work out. (if he came right out and told you, he'd lose his chance of using you as a back up later if he needs it.) i'd be telling him to cram that plane ticket where the sun don't shine if he offers it to you a month or two down the road. btw, the guy friend who does this IS looking for a serious relationship, but it has to be the *right* woman. meanwhile, he hops around with the few women he does get while waiting for the *right* one. the other thing is: my guy friend is not beyond having sex with women he has flown in even if he's not super interested in them. you would have been in that situation had some other chick not come along.
hope you find a better fishie, hun! 8-) | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/3/2008 3:34:38 PM | | men are like rubberbands... they need to pullaway before they can become close again... in otherwords he may be a little nervous or unsure... just give him some time | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/3/2008 3:39:48 PM | | For your information, women do it also (have you noticed a lot of the negative blogs start with "Why do men...", knowing full well women are JUST as bad anymore...My suggestion to you is just blow him off...This has happened to me a few times. I have my dignity, and I refuse to make a fool of myself by beating a dead horse so to speak.... | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/3/2008 4:11:45 PM | | I would say that a man disappears because he's found a female who is sexually reciprocating or inviting.....it's like guys who go on a drinking binge..lol..you don't see them for days...or he's married....if you read the posts on here that men have written you get a really good idea how they think..but, we women all know that anyway,...just want to see if there are any oddballs here who don't think like that...and love2smooch,you should do your wife a favour and disappear....from her....soon....You just haven't found a reciprocating female yet,but when you do,you will pull the disappearing act...so don't wait....leave now...you afraid of her taking all your money?...or does she take good care of you in the meantime?... | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/3/2008 4:31:53 PM | That is the million dollar question most of us will never get an answer in reply to. We always assune that it is us, something that we did or said. If you have to think that much in to it, no one is worth that. If that person is a player, IT IS HIM and it has nothing to do with you at all. They have patterns and are all about them; it's a game and once it's played, they move on.
You should not be afraid of everything you say or do when talking to someone and if so, he is not worth it. It can happen online or meeting someone at a bar or wherever. They are who they are online or not. And maybe those that we do not hear back from did us a favor. Yes I have been there and it does hurt....but keep your chin up and know that you/we all deserve better than this! | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/3/2008 4:36:19 PM | | Women are just as bad as men, I had a date with a woman at a restuarant, while I was in the restroom she split leaving me sitting at the table looking like a fool. So dont think this is strictly the domain of men. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/5/2008 6:30:47 AM | | even if i really didn't think we were a geat match when we first meet in a resturant or where ever i would never just leave while he was in the restroom. i would never want a man to do me that way .my mother taught me to always make the best of any situation. even if he was totally rude etc i would politely excuse myself before leaving very quietly.don't like scenes. i'm sorry that this happened to you but please don't think that we are all like that . | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/12/2008 5:44:07 AM | Spiderette I agree BOTH women and men do this I don't happen to be one of them but it is both sexes. I don't know if I agree that a player will stop playing if they find the right one I've known many a player and still do and those tigers are not likely to change their stripes, but that's just my opinion there could be an exception to the rule I just don't know them.....I do definately think that some do pour it on to keep you on the back burner while they play around so to speak with someone they find more attractive, but as another poster put it honesty is definately the best policy......I find it definately works I have been back burnered so to speak and I have met people that I was just not attracted to after talking online and off but I was honest with them and didn't lead them on because I wouldn't want it done to me (although it has been done to me) Just remember for those of you that back burner or that are players......Honesty is the best policy don't play with peoples feelings............... | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/12/2008 5:54:59 AM | | I am not a male but i can tell you what makes me dissapear. Sometimes it can be as simple as the sound of their voice, something they say during a conversation, or the way they may talk about or discuss a situation that has happened or a family memember....I dont know how to explain it..but..you get intuned into your beliefs and what you want/looking for and can and can not live with. It's can be that small or that big...makes me run. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/12/2008 5:58:59 AM | | I am not a player by any means...have not had sex only once in two years...it is more than a trophy, or sex..i hate playing games...that is if anything more the reason i run...i dont want to play..if it is not worth my time...why waste my precious time on something that i know in my heart of hearts is not for me....it took a long time for me to listen to my 6th sense...and let me tell you...it can be a blessing or a curse at times. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/12/2008 6:02:27 AM | OK lets look at your screen name ‘mustlovedogs’ now you’re saying you are a dog lover and you are putting a potential mate in second place with that name. So a potential is going to say ‘Why bother’ because I suspect you are going to talk about only your dogs.
Mmmm I was thinking “mustlovegogs” maybe the guys you attract love their dog (s) and put you in second place.....
What is more important then, a relationship or your dogs?
A | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/12/2008 6:34:04 AM | heres the thing about online dating or courtship...its too easy NOT to tell the truth...I always remember this..."only a click away"....I have found that some people use such beautiful words in text...but when it comes to reality, can't live up to those words...sometimes people build such a "picture" in their heads over someone based on it that when reality is sittiing across the table..the picture is not what they expected..
some are really pushy on the truth thing (we all claim to be honest or looking for honesty on our profiles)...some insist on "meeting immediately"...some are content with just the chattiing (I wish I could find more like this)...
Some are looking for "the one" or love at first sight and mybe your not it....
he may find that your online relationship is better than your personal relationship therefore doesn't know which way to take it....so is trying to avoid it....
I wouldn't question it too much...why bother....remember you to have the ability to just "click him away".....
thats the game of online dating....:) | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/14/2008 9:42:41 AM | Maybe he just didn't like you and didn't want to hurt your feelings? Maybe he was tired of you? Not necessarily that he is married although that could be one reason. I personally wouldn't know, I have never cheated in my life . | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:07:53 PM | I am surprised this thread wasn't deleted as it is a man bashing thread. Had this thread been titled "Why do people we think we might have something with just disappear?" it'd be a lot better.
Women are just as bad when it comes to this. A lot of bitter birds on this thread. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:12:44 PM | Maybe he gave what he could and tried his best, but she never met him half way. Maybe he thought that there was a chance with her when she wasn't ready. Maybe he asked her to tell him if she wasn't interested in pursuing him, but she said she was and he was still hopeful. So he tried to be patient and he tried to understand, but all there was, was a deafening silence. He broke that silence with his honesty and she came forward only to pull back for the second time. And he tried yet again. He knew he was being foolish, but that hope inside dies hard sometimes. The thought of her voice still echoed in his mind; for that he was willing to risk a bit more of himself. And then one day, he told her it was over, but he missed her. They wanted to be friends, but underneath it all, he still wanted more.
Days passed and the silence grew louder. For him, he was weary and alone amongst two people. He took a step away and never heard her voice calling him back. He couldn't hear her anymore. For he had been made deaf by her silence. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:26:51 PM | ^^^ You don't win for funniest answer, but you're on top for most poetic!
--Ms. Flis | |
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