| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 4:20:01 AM | | It sure is hard to tell. I think your guy met someone closer, younger, prettier....oh who knows? | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 4:35:45 AM | | Yeah well I need some help too. My soon to be ex has been playing mind games with me and I don't know how to handle it. He'll come over tell me he wants to get back together. Leave me all these voice mail messages how he loves me and thinks about me all the time then bam he's back to ignoring me. Oh and yes he has a girlfriend that he's living with. It seems like everytime I start feeling good about myself and start to have fun he comes over and starts telling me all the things I want to hear then backs off again. I don't know why he has this hold over me. I'm the one that left him. Well I just need some advice as what to do. He's driving me insane. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 6:28:39 AM | flashesofpurple:-
Well I just need some advice as what to do. He's driving me insane.
He's playing you because he can..that's it pure and simple Lass. For him it's a confirmation his 'technique' still works, and he likes to keep in practice using you as his 'sounding board'
No doubt he boasts to his buddies he can 'have you any time he wants', and uses the same pretty phrases on every lass he meets just to prove it to himself as well.
Men are easy to understand in that respect..you bruised his ego by walking, he is getting back at you for as long as you will let him..and if you have fallen for the line 'Let's do it one more time for old times sake' he'll just keep coming back for more.
Once you realise which head is attracted to you, you'll realise the other one is just saying what you want to hear..is that clear enough?
OT..I think the main problem of why men walk without SAYING why..comes back to the case of the vanishing chivalry and Gentlemanly behaviour..they haven't been taught how to.
Too much emphasis on the Man being the Hunter..and developing his technique to get a girl, and a complete loss of what to do next once he's got one..and more importantly, how do depart gracefully if she isn't what he was seeking in the first place!
Men are physical beings for the most part. They are attracted to the appearance of a Lass, and , sad to say, the USUAL first thought is how to 'conquer ' her resistance and bed her.( Okay guys don't all protest that isn't so in your case..I am just trying to simplify things a little here for the ladies who have undergone the normal proceedure)
IF he succeeds early in the game...and it is a game, try and understand that fact..then he is faced with complications.Either she was darned good in bed and he has to make some form of commitment to keep her..or she thought he was damned good, and she sees it as a commitment to her.
Either way...he is now in a situation too deep to extract himself from easily. Visions of tearful sessions, guilt trips laid on him (ie you only wanted me for my body etc) and all the other Hollywood, TV drama scenes come to his mind..so he opts for the classic 'riding off into the sunset ending, leaving the heroine stoically biting her lip, and waving once he is too far away to see her tears.
The other scenario of course, is that his well tried and well worn technique doesn't succeed in bedding his intended in the time space he alloted, ergo she isn't his sort of woman, and just about any reason/excuse is enough for him to off and search again for a more willing conquest...again..no word of why..or at best maybe hints of boredom when with her, and mumbled promises of 'I'll call you later in the week' etc.
Men are simple to understand , Ladies. They put a lot of effort into baiting the hook, playing the line and securing the catch, once they have overcome fear of rejection..which takes a lot out of them to begin with.
Once the fish is on the hook, so to speak they now have to go through another learning process..and have to come to a decision...either pull it on board and that's it for fishing any more...another long involved learning curve...or cut the line and let it go....and the easy way out is the one they normally choose!
Yes..I was guilty of such behaviour 'when I was a lad'..until my very Victorian Father found out and chewed my ears off for such 'un-gentlemanly manners'!
As he made quite clear ..ending an involvement is never easy, but it takes a MAN to be able to do it gracefully...only BOYS run away when the going gets tough. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 10:16:47 AM | Flashes of Purple,
Don't let him come over any more. Tell him that you are happy with your life and he needs to leave you alone and move on with his. If you did get back together, would you ever be able to trust him, knowing that he is living with someone else while coming to see you? Get rid of him while you can. You can do much better. Good luck. | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 55 | |
| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 11:03:24 AM | lois...?? lol
lets try to be alittle nicer and more subtle about this. The honest and simple fact is that we really havn't got much of an idea whats up and whats going on.
Keep an open mind and open heart about this. I am sure he will find his way back. So will you!! | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 11:13:32 AM | | Langa...let's try to be a little less bossy and and a little less "know it all" | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 11:17:10 AM | My Goodness Poshrat.. well said my dear...
Men.. well I dunno.. I just cannot generalize.. They do what they do.. and I have lived life without them and have done just fine...
I cannot explain why some do what they do, I try not to let the sins of others cloud my judgement... but it can be difficult. best thing to do.. let him be... if he comes back say look.. no more games.. I am worth much more than that.. be straight with me or hit the road... and be careful what you ask for. cause you may get it, and not like the outcome... | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 58 | |
| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 11:18:34 AM | I just stated that I don't know. I have no idea what some men think. But I do know that they have more in common with women than wmen think lets put it that way. They know there "time outs" and their escape techniques and when and where to take a relax point in you will.
It"s complimicated to describe, but it's human nature to do those things sometimes.
Now as for bossy, I am not, or I try not to be, and if I do sound bossy, I apologize for that, but I know when i feel something needs to be said for the help and care of others, I will take my chance on trying to bring some light on the matter. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 11:20:38 AM | AWWW THANKS FOR THE KIND WORDS SWEETIE. AT LEAST I GET TO USE ALL HE TAUGHT ME.  | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 11:30:13 AM | it's called the easy way out. These types will get what they want and leave, or find out enough and run. Instead of confronting the problem and/or offering an explination, they just pack it up and leave.
Your better off this way i'll asure you, cause these guys probably used the friends route many times before, when what they really wanted was nothing. usualy they use this first, then bolt after the so called friendship last even less then the actual relationship. They just have progress to the disappearing act, and have cut out the middle man so to speak.
As for the why, might have been anything. most times i would say it's because they lost interest, and not sure of how to be nice about it, they use these tactics. Another one that this same type will use, is they will try and make you break up with them. you can tell this by a person seemingly being one way, then suddenly without reason just switch to a completely different person.
As far as seeing it comming, you can't really, at least not untill near the end. It boils down to communication, if thats a problem area from the start, then chances are these incidents will probably happen. | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 61 | |
| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 11:37:05 AM | | Some men take the "bermuda triangle" excuse and that speaks for itself. As i have stated above in one of my posts, maybe go re-read that. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 3:20:21 PM | | Worth wild guys don't just disapear they also just decide to send you a ticket either. Come on give us some more detail. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 4:28:07 PM | | Thanks for the advice riech sometimes you feel better after your write your feelings down. This is something that I've been needing to get off my chest for awhile. It's funny how you can feel so with it at one time then they can totally wreck havoc on your mind. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 7:21:58 PM | | Why do men just disappear....they get into the vanishing cream in your cabinet? They get stuck on the no-pest strip under the sink and you haven't looked there in months? They fall down that black hole in the dryer that socks go into? (There's some deserted island out there with a bunch of unmatched socks and some confused looking guys.) You forgot and left them out on the driveway overnight and it rained and they got all rusty and someone threw them out for you? They are stuck in between the pages of the book you were reading and used them as bookmarks and left it under the bed and forgot about it? They watched too much Spongebob Squarepants and now they are all living in a pineapple under the sea and working at a Krusty Krabbs? | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 7:35:37 PM | The thread should be called, "WHY do PEOPLE just disappear??"
I am sorry for your loss, but it is not just men who disappear. Women have done their share of disappearing as well.
Puppy Love | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 8:49:34 PM | Why can we not say the POF names of these guys and girls to spare more people getting burned?
How is that fair?
This place is like a buffet for them to screw with peoples minds and feelings,
and there is no way to get caught without sharing names or at least city names or some way to reveal them | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 9:21:55 PM | Poshrat, I believe that you have indeed covered all the basic reasons. I wish I could be so concise.
Ladies, if he disappears, chances are he has lost interest for one reason or another, and is fearful of saying it face to face. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 9:46:07 PM | MOVE ON GIRL!!!!! HE'S GOT YOU WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER OR WHATEVER ........ WHILE HE'S BANGING HIS GIRL FRIEND HE'S GOT YOU HANGING ON TO THE BS MESSAGES HE LEAVES ON THE ANSWERING MACHINE........ SURE KEEPS YOU HOME, AND ALONE. I'D BE OUT WITH THE BEST LOOKING GUY I COULD FIND AND TELL HIM YOU'LL SEE HIM DIVORCE COURT. GO FISHIN'. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 10:03:17 PM | The worst thing about guys who just disappear is the not knowing part but also when say... 3 months down the road they contact you and act like they havent ignored you or like they have been around for the whole time. That pisses me off. Its like why did you take off in the first place if you were really all that interested? but I have a no second chance rule so those that choose to disappear, see ya! you obviously didnt think you were good enough for me, and still arent.
And as a response to that guy... YES I would like to know, I dont care what the reason is, it could be that I stink but I rather know and of course any girl is still gonna be pissed or upset but they will have the satisfaction of knowing and in the future look back and respect the guys honesty instead of just adding him to the loser list.
And on a positive note, I love Karma because a guy totally got what he deserved, exactly what he did to me, its great :) | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 10:09:31 PM | gee...why have women done the same thing to me that you ladies are complaining
about? since women dont have balls...you'd think they'd at least have the chesticles
to say something...
i just move on....next case | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/14/2005 10:42:51 PM | men who do this , as well as woman, have very low self esteem. they are cowards and their parent just brought them up wrong , until they GROW UP, THEY WILL CONTINUE TO BE IMMATURE, AAND IGNORANT . DOGS HAVE MORE COURTESY. | |
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| WHY do men just disappear??
Posted: 9/15/2005 11:35:19 AM | gee...why have women done the same thing to me that you ladies are complaining
about? since women dont have balls...you'd think they'd at least have the chesticles
to say something...
i just move on....next case
CHESTICLES??!! Oh I love it!! But sorry darlin.. I do so have balls.. they are hanging above my fireplace from the last a**-munch who just disappeared.....
I think it is pretty messed up when they pull this crap and YES women do it too but NOT to the extent that guys do.. so yeah next case.. but I am so much more cautious.... | |
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