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 human_male_nzl
Joined: 3/19/2010
Msg: 76
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I wouldn't have anything to do with them. I deserve a whole lot better than that.

I wonder why people have these on again off again relationships. Why people get back together with their exes. They broke up for a reason after all. But I've learned people often have a really hard time letting go of their ex. I think it's weird and unhealthy.
 bennnconti
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 77
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/23/2010 4:38:33 PM
not sure. Lets hope that never happens. some here are too harsh and they forget that if you throw someone like that you never loved them in the first place. is not that easy
 nigelwright
Joined: 3/24/2007
Msg: 78
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/23/2010 5:10:47 PM
The basis for any relationsip is trust and if yo uhavent got trust you havent got anything.

My ex wife used to do the ego trip thing when we were out flirting with other men.
So I slung her out.
 Med34284
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 79
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What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/23/2010 6:09:57 PM
I think it is a case by case situation. After 7 years, I have been on again off again with my girl and the one thing I have noticed is that the relationship is hard work every day. People stay together for many a reason.

All I can say, is that, at the end of the day, I used to say, what the hell would that person stick around for; however, when I had to walk in those shoes first hand, I began to look at the situation in a different light.
 bennnconti
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 80
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/23/2010 6:15:07 PM
agree with MED34284. its harder then people here think.
 yellowalmond
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 81
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What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/23/2010 7:15:05 PM
I hope I would leave him, but who knows. Love can make people weak-willed.

Probably the couple you mention will be on and off again over and over before it finally sticks.

Someone who cheats on their fiancee is either a jerk who can't control his spur of the moment desires or doesn't love his fiancee (and is still a jerk for being engaged to someone he doesn't love and cheating on her.)
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 82
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/23/2010 8:50:41 PM
I would immediately become unengaged and have nothing to do with her from then on.
 Accidentally In Love
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 83
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What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/23/2010 9:25:36 PM
Disengage.

Messages this short may not be posted. Messages this short may not be posted. Messages this short may not be posted.
 JeepHammer
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 84
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What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 8:25:39 AM

What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???


Games OVER!
Kicked to the curb faster than you can spit!

Engagement means EXCLUSIVITY!
If it doesn't, that compromises HER!
As a 'Friend', you need to let her know that taking the cheating guy back is giving him license to do this over and over again, further degrading herself.
 JulietJuliet
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 85
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 8:28:44 AM
This happened to me. I slapped his face as I was so hurt ....he slapped me back and threw me into a wall before attempting to strangle me. Nine years of love turned into a nightmare. I never forgave him and never took him back.
He cried litterally and was sorry for betraying me.....nothing was ever said about the abuse.
I walked away that night.....still loving him, but I knew in my heart things would never be the same again.
IF someone truely loves you then they would never cheat.
Given that sometimes people ARE weak they need to consider the reprocussions before entering the betrayal zone.
It's not true love because true love doesn't cheat.
Desperate people take back cheaters. One sided love affairs are never a good thing.
 wildcat99
Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 86
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What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 9:09:07 AM

I think you are going to find most people on a dating site to basically say "its wrong, its horrible, kick to the curb, no looking back, yadda, yadda, yadda"... as no one really is considering a LTR with someone they can have an open relationship .... stupid thread... its more just a story and everyone standing up and telling how they would "set that sh1t straight up (snap, snap)"....


Exactly. Yet, almost every single relationship I know where someone has cheated, the SO has taken them back. Or just about every single story you hear or read about, the SO will usually take the cheater back. Its really easy to say that you would kick them out but when you love someone, your heart doesn't usually do the "right" thing or the prudent thing. Its not that easy to just throw someone you supposedly love out of your life, no matter how you have been hurt.

Frankly, only those that have been in the situation where their SO has cheated on them truly know what they have done and would do if it happened again. The rest just think you know because you cannot imagine staying. Yet, most DO stay and try to work it out.

It happened to me with my first long term relationship in my 20s. We were together over 2 years and were fighting so much that we decided to take a break and he immediately slept with someone else that weekend. Technically he didn't cheat I guess but it sure felt like it. So I decided to take him back after a while and we tried to work through it but I could never get past the betrayal and the trust truly was gone.

Juliet, the assault is way worse than the cheating so thank goodness you left. Now that is something I KNOW I would never do and that is stay with an abusive man. That is non-negotiable.
 Eldrida
Joined: 11/13/2009
Msg: 87
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What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 9:31:02 AM
Zero tolerance policy, I would end it on the spot and stick to that.

How anyone could marry a person they couldn't trust is beyond me.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 88
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 9:42:04 AM
1st mistake, getting engaged.....
2nd one would be believing they would change
3rd would be getting married

You wanna cheat, cheat on them, they would be out of my life. And maybe a pic fromthe cell phone soI could recoup any money spent on the wedding fiasco.
 bennnconti
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 89
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 10:31:41 AM
I have to agree with the wildcat. others do not really understand the topic. most people refer to short time dates and not someone you are engaged. engagement is an advanced stage in a relationship and it includes loving someone. So return back to the topic, read it again and think before you writte. as she said every case you hear they end up back together.
 taz_2010
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 90
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 10:52:59 AM
well i have to say that this just happened to me, there is nothing in the world that a good woman or man deserves more then love but being disrespected is totally off the charts. If you wanted to cheat then should of just broke up, wouldn't of hurt so bad but instead tear a heart apart not only the one your with but what about kids??? does anyone ever think of them if they are involved in the relationship. I totally agree ...that **stard is GONE out of my life and karma hits in the end!!! The caring and loving people do not deserve that! KICK THEM TO THE CURB ONE TIME IS ALL IT TAKES!
 bennnconti
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 91
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 11:08:00 AM
well some people once they marry they forget how to take care of themselves, become overweight, and other so their partner looks elsewhere for better.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 92
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What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 11:23:15 AM
I'd never talk to him again. Nor would I go back to him later on and give him
the chance to do it again.
 Wear_a_smile
Joined: 9/13/2009
Msg: 93
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 4:01:56 PM
Tell him not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out!!!
 Nerdhead26
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 94
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/24/2010 4:09:46 PM

A friend of mine got caught by his fiancee making out to another girl. They broke up, and after two months of dating other people, they are now together again. I told him that was the most stupid thing he could do because she will never trust him again. They never look happy together though, i am still trying to figure out why they are back together again though, maybe its true love, or true stupidity. But my question is what will you do if you caught your fiancee with some one else?


That would of blew it and I would of never ever got back together with them.
you're a fool to give someone another chance because they will do it again eventually.
people don't change... and once you lose that trust. you'll never get it back.
 Madison900
Joined: 9/18/2009
Msg: 95
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/25/2010 3:20:04 AM
Dump him..and move on.
lt NEVER heals...just gets put under the carpet in an effort to ignor it ever happened for most people.
There's no successful way known to get past it.

On the other hand?????....He's look good as one of those dolls on a broom stick that you buy at the show/fairs....lol

One lady glued her hubbies "P" to his stomache with super glue!...as he slept.
WATCH OUT FELLAS...you can never predict what the little lady will do in that situation.
Wonder why she didnt do the same to the home wrecker too!?
 jamie9562
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 96
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/25/2010 3:26:02 AM
so many violent responses to what is a non-violent act,,,

hummmm kind of illustrates the true nature of the human species doesn't it? Neanderthals maybe? savages basically?

if someone cheated on me i would take it as a sign that i was not the one that person wanted to be with anymore and i would pack up and move on,,plenty of fish in the sea,,course...
i'm evolved
 Sherlock Pwns
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 97
What would you do if you caught the person you're engaged to with someone else???
Posted: 3/28/2010 3:25:01 AM
This is how my engagement ended. It's not as difficult to cut somebody out, even when engaged, for doing this, as above posters have said. I'd say it's arguably easier because the cut is even deeper.

I ended it immediately, no second thoughts. This person my fiancee became was a stranger to me that killed the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Knowing this, it was easy to cut her out completely.
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