| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 9:28:33 AM | You should see things from my side of the tracks!Im finding it hard to meet a good quality woman in this city of Sarnia and surrounding area,,although i am in communication with with a POF'er nearby my area.
Without being too****,IM one of the good ones,im not taken or married,no children and i have a fulltime job.Im being asked all the time why i dont have a girlfriend,,or why im not married. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 10:43:04 AM | | Well it's not too difficult to meet someone thats a great catch, for example I'll tend to be in the same places at around the same times on most occasions. you may meet someone at your local Barnes & Noble or Starbucks that would be a good catch, allthough I'm totally irreplacable people can meet great catches there, or at least I know they can at the Barnes & Noble I go to. | |
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BradPt
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Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 103 | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 11:00:35 AM | RE:-MAYBE YOU NEED TO CHANGE WHAT YOU PERCEIVE IS ATTRACTIVE!
I would rather stay lonley then settle for someone that I am not physically and emotionally attracted to! No one should have to settle just so they are not lonley. I am happy with my life-I just want to find my other half to share it with and I won't give up looking until I find what I am looking for-we all deserve at least that! | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 11:07:11 AM | If it wasn't so difficult maybe we wouldn't value it as much
Maybe the difficulty or effort is required for monogamy to exist. It is a good question though. The important thing is to try and maximize what you can achieve through the process, to cherish the moments regardless if the final outcome is good or bad. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 1:57:12 PM | | i tend to disagree with "greatguy351(d789760)...i do not think that everyone that is attractive is a "snot"...good decent people who happen to be attractive are very very hard to find....but they are out there..just keep looking...i know that i am....i like to think of myself as a very nice person with a big heart that happens to not be too hard on the eyes too... | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 4:01:52 PM | I would suggest that the problem is not that a great guy isnt out there but that your idea of what constitutes attractive is on the narrow side.
In cultures where food is scarce overweight women are very desirable and a man with a lot of extra weight on him means he is financially successful and therefore both eat well and are highly prized.
In cultures where food is plentiful, skinny people are attractive.
If you look at our hollywood celebs from the 40's the women were by no means skinny and the further back you go the more you find "plus size" women were the desired norm.
Maybe the question to ask is why you allow your ideas of what is and what is not acceptable to be driven by Madison Avenue advertisers and hollywood?
If you lost your sight (God forbid) you would suddenly have a whole new idea of what attractive is and is not. Not because the men changed but because your perception changed.
I have wandered the globe a few times and still dont understand how people can look for a mate that doesnt spend at least some small amount of time helping the poor or donating their time in some way to help the less fortunate. To me people who dont volunteer some of their time to help the less fortunate are the less attractive people.
I am not suggesting you fall into this catagory, that is between you and your maker, but I suggest that people who do spend some of their time doing some charity work have their perceptions broadened in a great many areas.
Just a thought. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 5:17:05 PM | Conroe70..........
I agree with you...that is what I meant by "good-hearted". To me that is someone that loves themselves as well as a stranger on the street. I donate my time to various homeless and animal causes and the right man for me would share some of those passions. You are right if I was blind my perception would change...but I am not and hopefully will never be and will keep looking until I feel I should just sit back and wait...meanwhile I cherish every moment in between, this life is way to short! | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 5:48:34 PM | I've met nice, attractive men and women. I've been told I'm attractive. I'm nice to people.
On the other hand, I've known unattractive people who were total dirtbags.
Of course what I consider attractive isn't always what others consider to be attractive.
Hey, I'm having trouble finding the right person too. That's one thing I like about this site. You know there's lots of people in same boat as you. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 6:07:12 PM | Bravo, Bravo,
I think time donated to good causes is never wasted if for no other reason than the growth it causes.
I have gone through times in my life where I pulled away from certain environments to do some reflecting and soul searching. Part of this journey is to discover the things in myself that are wrong. If you have reached a period of frustration you may very well need to do some time alone for a while to discover what you are really looking for.
I do not know you and do not pretend to tell you what is wrong with you or what is right with you, only that some of what you say resembles things I have been through. I have been through some relationships that I never should have been in because I didnt know what I was looking for in the first place. And I have passed on some great opportunities because I didnt realize what great girls they were until I saw how they treated somebody else. Then I kicked myself.
Good luck Darlin, and remember: my advice is free and its worth every penny you paid for it. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 6:41:23 PM | Sure, we all like the feeling of butterflies ... but that's just infatuation. It doesn't last. It's initial attraction. But if you can be with someone who genuinely brings a smile to your face everytime they walk into the room, even years after knowing them ... that's attraction!!!
Because that smile will be for the person you know inside, not for how they looked when you first met them.
So don't trust butterflies ... trust your gut instinct when you talk to them ... when you see them interacting with others ... when they tell you about their dreams and desires. It doesn't matter what they look like ... everyone deserves an equal chance. What matters is the beauty that shines through from the inside. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 7:17:31 PM | | I think that is one of the most insightful and honest answers I have heard. Our society places beautiful people on a pedestal and thats all that matters to so many people when a beautiful inner self is what matters most. On rare occassion I have met beautiful who were also beautiful inside....but not often. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 7:30:48 PM | But this whole thing about attractive people rarely being beautiful inside bothers me. I don't buy it. Sure, there are pretty people who are stuck up and nasty, but I don't think most are all of them are like that.
In a way it seems that people are saying that people are only good-hearted because they're making up for being ugly on the outside.
And what is "beauty" anyway? I wouldn't walk Paris Hilton on a leash. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 7:40:26 PM |
And what is "beauty" anyway? I wouldn't walk Paris Hilton on a leash
Ahhh... proving once again ... beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Yes ... I believe there are pretty people who are good-hearted.
But that all depends on your perception of "pretty" or "beautiful".
The man who still makes my heart smile YEARS later, was 3-1/2 inches shorter than me. Most women would not consider that "beautiful" to them. I know, over all, I prefer a taller man and shy away from dating shorter men today.
Unfortunately, that man is married with children now ... and I haven't laid eyes on him in about 10 years ... but that last time I did, my heart lept into my throat and I got the butterflies. At that time, I had known him for nearly 20 years! Must be love! | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/1/2006 8:50:49 PM | As you get older you start to appreciate someone more for who they are on the inside. The ouside is just a shell, and my dear, that shell will fade in time...
Just dont hold out for Mr. perfect on the outside. When I started talking to people on here , I insisted to have pic's...well one man would not put one up, something about him kept me talkin to him, and we talked alot! I was attracted to him, for who he was, and I'm glad I was.
You should never start out with a set of rules and expectations...get to know the person..you never know how it will turn out. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 2/2/2006 2:48:49 AM |
I think that is one of the most insightful and honest answers I have heard. Our society places beautiful people on a pedestal and thats all that matters to so many people when a beautiful inner self is what matters most. On rare occassion I have met beautiful who were also beautiful inside....but not often.
I agree with you about a beautiful inner self, nothing is more beautiful than a kind and generous person. Maybe i am a bit naive, but I thought you were giong to say that people were people; then I read the last part. Most women hate me, but most women would never give me the time of day, much less talk to me and get to know me. It's because of stereotypes like the one you just posted.
Get over it people really, looks are nothing.
Beauty fades, dumb is forever.
Just another human being, being human...
Tammy | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/6/2006 4:24:47 PM | Hi "u2lover".when I was in high school I always had the same problem as you...the men I was attracted to were usually good looking ..according to most people..they would eventually treat me badly,and the guys I wasn't attracted too..would have flown to the moon to get me a star if I wanted one..but I wasn't attracted to them..for some crazy reason!!.I know its frustrating..been their... done that!!.I dated a guy that I didn't really find attractive..and he end up being a jerk...so less good looking men can also be "jerks",not just the good looking ones..but now that I am older and wiser(I hope I am..*smile*).looks are not as important to me,as they were when I was younger!,but I still have to be attracted to them...doesn't matter if they are fantastic..some physical attraction has to be their!.Dont give up!!!.I'm not...he is out their.....waiting...Good luck!!!. | |
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jnenon
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Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 123 | |
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@alwaysyummy...you can't play the naive and innocent card with me
