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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/6/2006 6:49:04 PM | Balance... The best balance possible. True love between a woman and a man can exist, but it has to be brought down to reality. Reality means an economically stable life and have the essentials covered (a place to live and the basic needs, among many others). I believe that women are also looking for a man that values her for what she is, respects her in every possible aspect of her life, encourages her to be a better person and believes in what she wants to be, makes her feel beautiful all the time, talks and listens to her, gives her a hand and a shoulder when she feels lost, makes her laugh as much as possible, makes her life less routinary (this is sometimes very hard to achieve), is not judgemental, has a very good reserve of patience and tolerance because she's not perfect... These among a long list of many aspects. Women ask themselves if this is possible to find. I have to say yes. We're all in this dating site looking for it. It either comes along, or just doesn't.
"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived." (William Parish, Meet Joe Black)
These words by the character played by Anthony Hopkins are precious and to some point idealistic. I personally believe that the proper balance between the beauty of love and the tough reality we live everyday, give you the chance of a happy life. You should look deep within yourself and honestly realize if you can bring balance to a relationship, because its about what a man and a woman are willing to bring to the table and share for an undefined period of time. Its about 2 people making it happen TOGETHER. We all have dreams and we can't avoid it. We just have to try our best to keep both feet on the ground... | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/6/2006 7:08:45 PM |
Simple answer is this,good looking men don't need to be nice(this goes for attractive women too). All of you can argue about this all you want, but it's the truth. Someone who is truly beautiful, and it can be a man or woman, doesn't need to have any other good qualities because they will still get hit on/asked out alot just because of how they look. Is it fair? No, of course not, but that's how it works. I've dated all kinds of women and I can honestly say that I have never met a nice attractive woman. Pretty people are arrogant, face it, if you're constantly told you look better than alot of other people why would you bother being nice or funny or sweet? You don't need to be. People will constantly fawn over you because of how you look, and more importantly people will put up with huge amounts of bullshit from you in relationships, thereby removing any motivation for you to be a decent human being.
I disaree with you. I've met beautiful women with great personalities. Thing is the ones I met have horrible taste in men and often end up being extremely short-sighted. And surprise, its the attractive jerks they end up going for and then complain when it doesn't work. Heres a tip, if hes extremely confident around you, hes most likely extremely confident around all the ladies and has had quite a bit of practice. If hes had a lot of practice then hes probably never had a stable relationship and doesn't want one right now. And what does almost every women want on all dating sites? Very confident men.
My 2 cents. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/6/2006 7:22:14 PM | How much that appeals to the gaze of the natural man is artificial and fictitious. How much human beauty is made up, the product of the artifices of the salon. Even when physical beauty is natural, how rarely it is accompanied by moral virtues. No wonder our forefathers were accustomed to say, ?Beauty is but skin deep.? Not so the beauty of holiness: it is rooted in the inner man, and sheds its purifying influence over the entire being. ?Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain? (Prov. 31:30). But holiness disappoints not its possessor, for its beauty is spiritual and Divine. True, it has many counterfeits in the religious world, yet the genuine article has a ring to it which the godly cannot mistake.
The beauty of holiness is abiding, and therein it differs radically from all the beauty of earth. The wooded glen, whose varied tints are so pleasing in the summer sunlight, is leafless and drab when winter comes. The glorious sunset which human skill can neither produce nor adequately reproduce disappears within a few minutes. The fairest human countenance quickly withers: ?all her beauty is departed? (Lam. 1:6). Even when it is preserved to the end of a short life, ?their beauty shall consume in the grave? (Psa. 49:14). Yes, change and decay in all we see. The only beauty which is unfading and everlasting is the beauty of holiness. The fruit of the Spirit will never lose its bloom: spiritual graces shall endure after this poor world has all gone up in smoke. How fervently, then, should we pray, ?Let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us? (Psa. 90:17).
The beauty of holiness is imperceptible to the natural man, and therein it differs radically from the beauties of mere nature. He can behold and admire a lovely glen, the softly flowing river, the mountain pines, the rushing waterfall; but for the excellence of spiritual graces he has no eyes. He regards one who (by grace) meekly submits to sore trials as a carpet. He looks upon one who denies self for Christ?s sake as a fool. He considers the man who adheres strictly to the narrow way as one who misses the best of this life. The natural man is totally incapable of discerning the excellence of that which is of great price in the sight of God. Do some think I am stating this too strongly? Then let them be reminded of the solemn fact that when our precious Lord and Savior was here upon earth the unregenerate saw in Him ?no beauty? that they should desire Him (Isa. 53:2); and it is the same today. God must remove the scales from the eyes of our heart before we can perceive that holiness is beautiful. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/6/2006 7:24:23 PM | well from your original post, it seems like you are very imature and you should be thinking that way. I am not going to use the word "whining" but you really need to listen to yourself and what you are saying. If the guy is a great guy then that is all you need from him, why not ACCEPT HIM FOR HIM as opposed to judging him for how he looks.
Don't be so shallow and I am sure you will find the right guy. | |
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| An example
Posted: 4/6/2006 7:27:26 PM | Physical charms and spiritual graces are rarely found in the same persons. A notable example of this is seen in the case of Absalom, of whom it is recorded, ?In all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him? (2 Sam. 14:25); yet he feared not God and perished in his sins. How many a woman has used her personal attractions to entice men rather than magnify God. How many a well-proportioned and handsome man has employed his gifts for self-glorification rather than the praise of God. But the beauty of holiness ever redounds to the honour of its Author.
?O worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.? This is the only kind of beauty which the Lord cares for in our devotions. ?Godliness is to the soul as the light is to the world, to illustrate and adorn it. It is not greatness which sets us off before God, but goodness? (Thomas Watson). Ornate architecture and expensive apparel God delights not in. It is the loveliness of inward purity and outward sanctity that pleases the thrice Holy One. Sincerity of heart, fervour of spirit, reverence of demeanour, the exercise of faith, the outgoings of love, are some of the elements which comprise the ?beauty of holiness? in our worship. | |
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| An example
Posted: 4/8/2006 4:38:56 PM | Wow, Sincerely, don't often get to read biblical references in this setting. (Cool!)
I guess that the condition of your heart often influences how you see others. I've met a few guys that would have been considered unattractive on physical basis alone, but I was fortunate enough to catch then perpatrating some acts of incredible kindness and compassion, and it changed the way my eyes perceived them. Beauty isn't just in the eye of the beholder, it's in the expression of someone with a beautiful heart. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/8/2006 5:36:17 PM | I really think the question should be re-phrased. If you find yourself asking this question, try this one instead: Why do I find it so hard to be attracted to good-hearted men? (or women, if that's your preference) This puts you back in the driver's sit.
Fanny, I like what you had to say.
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/8/2006 6:28:50 PM | | This is true but not really. I have dated a good looking guy, kind heart, good personality but there is always something wrong. Not all good looking woman are arrogant, I have know hot women andthey have a good personality, kind heart. What I have realized throughout my life is that it's not only difficult to find all of this in a person cause it is because they're all taken, they don't stay on the market long, but also they have their own expectations in who they're looking for. So you could find Mr. Right but he might in it for the wrong reasons. We all just have to look for someone who is attracted to us as much as we are to them no matter if they're hot. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/8/2006 7:14:56 PM | Very simply, It's the order you are filtering in.
You make a guy pass an attractive test before you put him through the good heart test. Many people are very good at the attractive part of a relationship but many people are jerks.
Many people have good hearts too but since you filter out the 'unattractive' you don't look to see the good hearts all around you.
I'm thinking jerks are good salesmen and help keep your attention away the good hearts that need fassion tips. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/15/2006 9:19:05 PM | AT: mardioluv4u
I never said that I was judging men by their looks only...where in my post did you read this? Personality and the ability to feel comfortable with someone is very important...but what is so wrong with wanting to be attracted to a person on ALL levels...there is NOTHING immature about this. Thanxs for your opinion mardioluv4u...but if my post was to be "shallow" it would have stated "why is it so hard to find an attractive man" and would have been left at that- and not have included "good-hearted".
Suze | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:24:18 AM | u2lover
By your saying "there just has to be some type of physical attraction" implies that you narrow the possibilities from the start.
It seems your falling for the guy that spends all his time figuring out how to be physically attractive and not much time on character.
It insults the guys that have some character to know you will not notice them cause the shallow GQ guy got your attention first. I think this is what they percieve as shallow.
Beauty is fleeting, Starting and building a relationship on it seems doomed to fail. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:48:21 AM | | Honestly, I believe it is because theres a limited amount of these people alive.. most people are either ugly... good personality... attractive.. bad personality.. or ugly and bad personality.. haha, that was harsh, but true. However this can change if you open your ideas up of what is attractive. And maybe someone who wasnt so attractive as first glance can become attractive with time so dont give up on it. You dont have to settle for half of the package | |
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mona67
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Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 141 | |
| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/17/2006 12:32:23 PM | | Oh man...do I know exactly how you feel. Every man that I've ever been interested in has been very attractive and very much a jerk...especially after getting to know him. The only problem is there are alot of guys out there that would treat me like a queen if I would let them, but the attraction isn't there. I've been semi-single for the past 10 years. I say semi because I have dated and have had short relationships, but they were on-again/off-again due to the bad boy issues. It's not that bad being alone for the most part, as long as you stick to your guns and refuse to settle for someone that you are not attracted to, and refuse to settle for someone that refuses to treat you with respect. In the meantime...have fun and date tons! The worst that could happen is that you end up with loads of friends. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 4/19/2006 11:45:53 PM | | I think it is very hard to find a person that is good hearted and attractive. Good hearted people seem to be hiding out. That Jack Johnson song rings in my head about "where have all the good poeple gone?" Attractive is relative. Can you relate? I mean, have you ever met someone who was very fit and dressed well, but that was anoying? Attractive is an idea. Attracted is chemistry. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 9/17/2006 10:14:11 PM | "I did not mean to sound shallow in my post at all. But I am being honest and I know what I am looking for-being 31 years old. I am like a little girl and need to have those butterflies in my stomach not only when I meet someone, but also as I continue to get to know them. I would be lying if I said looks did not matter to me-but they are not important if the guy does not have a good heart, there just has to be some type of physical attraction ( not looking for a Tom Cruise or something) and if they don't have the personality to back it up-they are out of there!"
About those butterflies...
I know how wonderful it can be to feel that excitement in the mere presence of someone, but the question is, what put the butterflies there? For me, it's not a man's physical appearance; I get butterflies when I catch them in the act of doing something really sweet. The most recent person to give me butterflies in my stomach put them there through his acts of kindness and gentleness towards animals. I thought that if he was that kind and gentle with an animal, he couldn't help but be a tender and considerate lover.
(P.S.: He was. Now those butterflies in my stomach are more like pterodactyls....)
Sometimes you just need to see with different eyes. | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 9/17/2006 11:46:25 PM | Because they turned gay dealing with the drama women put on men? Lol. Just kidding.
I myself am Upper Middle class looks (my photo is on hot or not site pulls a 8.2 out of 10 with 1530 voters, site says I am 85% hotter than others on site. And I can guarantee there are guys out there voting 1 to pull down the scores. lol ), Upper Middle class income, Upper Middle class education, Upper Middle class personality and 100% straight. So I never seem to never have to beg for dates. But I still have to compete against the power players out there who are in the 90% and above looks bracket. I see the same women on the single sites drop out of circulation and then come back on a month or two later. (and back with a poorer attitude towards men even more) Power Players love to mess with you head and tell you what you want to hear to get into your pants then they miss the chase and diversification and want to get back out into circulation again. So they will act like asses to make an easy exit.. and the whole time you just thought is was their poor personality. ( I had a few of my friends pull this stunt on women all the time just to be single again) I am at the age I want to settle down, But I do not want to rush into my next long term relationship so leave most dates as an open relationship so sometimes I get accused of doing the same. Someday I will find the correct chemistry and I will seal the deal. But open dating can be fun too. You have more choices that anytime in history! Think how just a few years ago your choices in finding a man were by banging into single men with your shopping cars at the grocery store or at the noisy bar scene........lol  so be paitent and it will happen | |
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| Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???
Posted: 9/19/2006 6:01:08 PM |
I would be lying if I said looks did not matter to me-but they are not important if the guy does not have a good heart, there just has to be some type of physical attraction ( not looking for a Tom Cruise or something) and if they don't have the personality to back it up-they are out of there!
Tom Cruise is short and appraoching middle age. lol
But I have to say that you do sound shallow. I think it would be easier for you and others if you GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE and don't judge them so fast. Think about it, no one wants to be judge!!
As long as you got a good hearted (a truly good hearted man ) then that is way more important than looks.
We are talking about one day getting married, and getting children, PERSONALITY and a mature and good solid CHARACTER HAVE TO BE THERE.
Don't put TOO MUCH emphasis on looks, or you WILL be disppointed..
Hope that helps. | |
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the hot ones are usually superficial.And don't know what commitment is.(very scary 2 trust certain women)
