| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 1:14:44 AM | If I was a guy I wouldnt want to raise someone elses kids either and this is coming from a single mother of two kids! What does suck is being a YOUNG single mother who is ready to date again because every man in the same age group is scared. I guess they assume I am looking for a father for my kids. Little do they know - they would be blessed if I even let them meet my children!
If a guy doesnt want to date me because I have kids then that's cool ... he's probably too immature anyways :) | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 2:44:30 AM | Not all of us fall into that category. When I was a single dad ,it didnt hurt my dating, it actually helped it.
Even though over time, the devil in her came out. My kids were a pain, yet hers was an angel....
After awhile that gets old!......I treated my gf's kids as my own, because that's how I felt it should be! No favorites, all need to be treated equally. More so, when you live together as a family unit.
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 3:51:12 AM | Sounds like silvery20 and her friend are sexist because they think only men feel this way.
I would like to here how silvery20's would react if the shoe were on the other foot. If she were a single woman without children, would she be interested in dating and marring a man who had custody of his children?
To be fair and not sexist, I would like to see this thread be expanded to refer to bot sexes and not just be another thing for women to complain about men because this issue does apply to both women as well as men.
I don’t think it is too much to ask.
Silvery20 is right on the issue but wrong for being sexist and thinking that only men think that way.
She is wrong for thinking it has anything to do with genetics. For the most part, people’s (and I am referring to both sexes) behavior is a result of what the person learns from others and the person’s experiences in life. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 7:22:48 AM | | Many men would like to date a women who they find attractive, get along with, have compatible personalities with, and have chemistry with, and if that is there i doubt they would care if you have kids or not. I really really REALLY dont like blaming being a single mom on your lack of dating life. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 7:27:43 AM | I don't think this is the case for men, it may be for boys that never grow up however  | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 7:53:02 AM |
...because every man in the same age group is scared.
...
If a guy doesnt want to date me because I have kids then that's cool ... he's probably too immature anyways...
Why do women believe that men are scared if they choose not to date single mothers? Why do women make the call that a guy is immature if he chooses not to date single mothers?
Guys are attracted to the woman, not the kids. And, no matter how much women say that they aren't looking for a father for their kids, eventually, she will EXPECT the guy to assume some fatherly role whether he wants to or not.
It's not fear, it's simply that the guy doesn't want to be forced to assume the daddy role and that invariably happens if he stays with her long enough. Some guys have no problem with it, some do.
And as for the immaturity jab, I find that one ridiculous as well.
It could just as likely be that the guy is so mature he KNOWS he doesn't want kids around at the moment and knows himself well enough that he knows he couldn't play the role that the woman expects of him. He knows he likes a more unencumbered lifestyle. Why is that wrong?
Just a couple of thoughts on the subject....
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 8:09:43 AM | "Guys are attracted to the woman, not the kids. And, no matter how much women say that they aren't looking for a father for their kids, eventually, she will EXPECT the guy to assume some fatherly role whether he wants to or not. "
The guy could also be thinking about his wallet as well. With the current child support laws surrounding step children he may not want to on the hook at such a young. It could hamper him later, it has nothing to do with maturity but everything to do with what the guys goals and plans are in life. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 8:15:30 AM | | It depends on what the guy wants. The more exclusivity he wants, the less he will welcome your children. But if he sees himself as fitting into a family, he will find great satisfaction in being with them and you. There were no general rules except that (1) men will select themselves into whether they will pursue you - it difficult to influence; and (2) it's not common, but watch out for perverts who seem perfect but wind up spending much too much time alone with your son or daughter | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 8:57:57 AM |
If a guy doesnt want to date me because I have kids then that's cool ... he's probably too immature anyways :)
What if a guy doesn't want the responsibility? Because someone understands themselves and their limitations, they are immature? I'd be more concerned with the ones who SAY that kids don't matter to them to make you feel better - they are way more likely to be the immature ones who will leave later when things get though. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 2:09:05 PM | Just imagine... he DIDN'T have a child while single... really immature, actually.
Oh, please. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 4:22:40 PM | Well I'll tell you one thing that is true and it was joke in a comedy bit, Guys will date any woman if she is hot. She can be just a part time waitress or work in a slaughter house or have no job at all. If she's a hotty, guys don't care...usually...BUT that's not to say they wouldn't prefer the woman have no kids and no have to deal with the ex coming around.
Me personally, I don't mind if she has 1 or 2 kids. Almost everyone at our age has kids now. I'm great with kids because I'm into art and young at heart. I always get along with kids regardless. But most men would PREFER she not have kids. I don't mind either way. Their are a lot of good things to say about single hard working moms.
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 4:57:43 PM | | I can't speak for any other guy, but as a dad, I prefer women with kids - we automatically have something in common. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/25/2008 7:19:28 AM |
.. some men don't want the responsibility of having "other men's" children ..
I strongly agree with you, but if he is even worth my time, he would see the child as mine and not that of another mans. If he truely cared about me, he would also care for my child because it is a part of me.
I don't have children btw. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/25/2008 7:50:36 AM |
if he is even worth my time, he would see the child as mine and not that of another mans.
Perhaps he doesn't because he does not see you as worthy of his time, either. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/25/2008 8:42:10 AM | I think that people need to lose the hang-up over being a single parent, and for the love of god STOP blaming it on lack of a romantic life!!! If you see being a single parent as a liability and present yoursself that way, well, dont be shocked if thats how thers see you. I state many many many times, there are a LOT of men that DONT MIND being with a woman who has childen, IF that woman has something offer as a woman and to a relationship. OR, as Jason said, if she is a hottie (LOL!!!).
Dont focus on your parental status, focus on what good qualities you have that you can share with another person.
I would date a single dad.
I would NOT date a single dad who did the "woe is me nobody will date me cuz i got kids poor poor single parent me". I would run like the wind.
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/27/2008 10:37:36 AM | | I think for some guys having "their own" children is like passing on their name. Sort of outdated ideas in my eye, but to each their own. How a child is raised has as much to do with who they become as their DNA does. What's the big deal about passing on genes? | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/27/2008 10:52:45 AM | Here is the deal and sad truth.
Man want their own kids. Biological stright from their wanker kids.
Some guys believe that a woman with a child wants them to swoop in and become the replacement daddy for their children. This PETRIFIES men like a knife comming to their balls. Some woman and do this and others do not. ( I do NOT)
Most mom's with their stuff straight will allow the man to fall in love with the kids in his own time. He has to learn to love them and they have to learn to love him. This may takes weeks or months or years. But there is no point in forcing it and you can not treat a boyfriend like he is responcible to pick up where another man has failed or failing or isn't present. A boyfriend shouldn't be subjected to the mother bear syndorom. If your kids spoiled too much and he tells you this, maybe your kids a spoiled brat. I'm thankful my ex pointed out somthings my kid could improve on and she has and i have been made a better parent because of it. But it was HOW he said it. Very tactfully and kind. Back to the OT men are good with woman with kids IF you are able to reassure him that his role is to just be himself and everything else will fall into place. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/27/2008 12:47:12 PM | One cannot generalize this or people for that matter.
I can only speak from my own preference which is I have none.
A woman with a child would be awesome since then my son and her children can interact allowing more opportunities for fun.
Also....
A woman without can offer up a more diverse schedule . | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/27/2008 1:07:52 PM | I've been lucky enough to have loved and been loved by a woman with 3 daughters, and all I can say is this; if you love someone enough, then you take the entire package. Maybe I'm lucky in that I had 2 kids of my own from a previous marriage, and so there was no imperative to have any more, although I would have liked us to have a child that was uniquely ours. For me, the object of my affection is far more important than any other consideration and I don't set conditions for that affection.  is all. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/27/2008 3:24:17 PM | soccersweep on 10/24/2008 8:09:43 AM
The guy could also be thinking about his wallet as well. With the current child support laws surrounding step children
This is a Hugh issue. If the man /woman decide to get married and his/her life style increases, then it becomes a matter of today's court making the step father/mother liable for the children child supports even though they are not the biological mother/father. I have a friend that paid child support for 11 years just under this type of law here in the state of washington. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/27/2008 3:35:06 PM | | It sounds like a piss poor excuse... what would i call it a genetic defect maybe... so what does that mean he would love his own kid more then the ones you have already.... i think it just comes down to whether or not you want a kid. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/27/2008 5:39:09 PM | Hi,
Im not going to say that this is not true because their are some guys out their that dont won't to raise another mans kids. But with me its not a problem I mean yeah they wouldn't be my kids but that wouldn't stop me from being with the women if I truly loved her. I don't care if the women had one child or five children by another man if I loved her I wouldn't let that affect me none I would treat them as if they were my own. | |
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| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/28/2008 10:04:36 PM | Glennmorangie said:
I think for some guys having "their own" children is like passing on their name. Sort of outdated ideas in my eye, but to each their own. How a child is raised has as much to do with who they become as their DNA does. What's the big deal about passing on genes?
Wow Glen! What's the big deal about passing on genes? I guess now we know why so many men impregnant women and just leave them hanging. So I guess it's okay for women to just have kids by anybody to keep in with the times. Is that what you mean? | |
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