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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lostintheboro
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 226
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!Page 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Blueeyes, you touched upon a point in your post. The profile gives us a choice of what type relationship we are seeking. If we put down" Long Term", are we desperate to find someone to be with forever. When i completed my profile I changed my answer twice. Really at this point, I am just looking to meet either someone to "Hang Out" with, that may or may not eventually become a "friend"; that eventually may or may not become a relationship. Sometimes people we meet, end up just being someone we hang out with and some become good friends. It is that one person in this vast electronic medium that we hope by chance or destiny that we see a profile, make contact, and that person responds, which starts the beginning on that first contact that is the train we get on, and either get off at the first stop, a few stops down or, we stay on until the end of the line.
 beachin92
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 227
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 9:59:12 AM
I think we have all been through this or will go through this at sometime or another! I have been used and abused lied to and cheated on so I can relate! You will hurt and nobody knows how long it takes to heal. It just depends on the person and how well they can bounce back. I know that it took me a long time to get over the pain of being lied to and used! I think you are correct in being single and happy rather and being stuck with a dud! I still hope and pray that I can find someone also! You are not alone in having these feeling! I do think howeevr it is harder for someone my age than it is for a younger person in their 30's!
Just my opinion! Keep your head up and don't look back! Someday if you want it bad enough you will find the love you pray for! I haven't given up yet!
 velvetwoman_01
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 228
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 10:34:36 AM
ms elegance

I was with a man for over 7 years....24/7 ..pure heaven he was hon..then one day ...i came home...he was gone....police came 2 days later....seems he (and my sons g/f) were pulling out of a motel in western usa(he was a truck driver)......a truck hit them and killed them...I have no closure here ..havent for 17 months...I know what you all feel....I too hurt....BUT...please remember ....God has you right where he wants you for whatever the reason....Love will find you (just keep a door open).....Great achievemnents and Great Loves mean taking Great risks....its all worth it.....and just for the record.....I/m here should you ever wanna talk....good luck hon
 xica
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 229
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 10:41:04 AM
Nope, you are not alone. I have been single for 5 years now, and feeling exactly what you describe. No, that feeling has not gone away, and no.....i have not met anyone special. Most people (men) out there do not want commitment but rather they want everything easy. They do not even believe in romance any more. So, i stayed alone. Wake up every day hugging my pillow really hard.....same way i went to bed the previous night. The bright side for you?..........your age. You will meet more people. Try not to worry too much because it is a given, you will meet someone. It is for us, the ones that past 40....that it gets much harder, if not......imposible.
 Splinter
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 230
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 10:42:53 AM
I think that you have to stop waiting for someone to come into your life. I did that for many years and it didn't happen. You have to get out there and start dating again. I did and I am having the best time of my life.
 Rwesl50
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 231
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History
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 10:43:19 AM
I am hurting inside also! I feel for you!It hurts.I wish i knew what to say.
Thanks
 daylillies
Joined: 9/26/2005
Msg: 232
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 10:52:46 AM
to you all that are hurting an to others too...we all love hugs..lol


time heals all wounds...an i am sure we all hate that sayin but its true....i didnt read all the pages but i will later today.
 maryclare
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 233
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 10:54:36 AM
The worst thing bout a broken heart is that people cant see it. No one understands the pain because it is not physical.
You need to let go of the past - I sleep with my teddy LOL at least he cant go walk about.
Dont jump into a relationship till you are sure - it is easy to get led astray when we are down. Smile and learn to love yourself and forgive the past.
IT IS THE PRESENT THAT BUILDS THE FUTURE.
 NeilF92003
Joined: 2/17/2005
Msg: 234
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 11:27:00 AM
im sorry to hear that however i been in the same boat, i think thats part of life of letting someone treat people in the wrong way because i feel either stupid or being ignored especially when u love them but they dont care of how you feel. But i try to learn to understand why relationships can be so cruel. the only way i can deal with life is try to get on with it even it hurts me so more, theres nothing more i can do but accept it the way it is
 Kgs
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 235
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 11:41:32 AM
Please try to cheer up, Sweet Pea...Tuesday I will celebrate my first anniversary of being single after 24 years so I know exactly what you're feeling. It has been a very hard year and I feel like I've had my share and half of someone else's of pure hell...but I promise you there are some nice guys out there and your's will come along when you least expect him.

You're in my heart and prayers, darlin'!
 cluelessguppy
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 236
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 11:41:55 AM
The answers to your questions are available elsewhere, on the web....read statistics and find out how many millions have worn your shoes....how they suffered, how they wondered....then see what per cent of them have found love again.... it's not 100% but....books are filled with advice. My favorite book is Abigail Trafford's "Crazy Time" which really describes the emotional combat of divorce/breakups...there are many others...how to survive the loss of a love, breakup therapy, how to heal a broken heart, blah blah....go to your library and spend a whole day there looking through them. having a good friend helps some but no...I have a best friend of 23 years who is there for me every single minute but it doesn't take the place of the other....I've dated a lot, had plenty of men interested but....oh well....life can either grind you or polish you. Best to focus on what is good, take care of yourself, do things for OTHERS, stay busy and fit....
 Victor7777
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 237
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 11:44:32 AM
ms elegance...I read your profile...you are a true romantic...God how I wish I could meet a woman like you around my own age.
 Victor7777
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 238
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 11:48:38 AM
ms elegance...I read your profile...you are a true romantic...God how I wish I could meet a woman like you around my own age.
 daylillies
Joined: 9/26/2005
Msg: 239
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 1:07:49 PM
^^^when you least expect it....she'll show up out of no where.



most of you are hurting and this is what makes dating so hard for many. and it gets frustrating. i'm not puttin any of you down ...not at all....nice to see you have true feelings but your heart is for someone else...the fact you still have feelings for another an your heart isnt all whole. when dating someone...we want the WHOLE heart not half.
 starlin
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 240
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 5:28:31 PM
read most of the posts, and i truely understood what a lot have or are going though, but a friend once said to me that people are like seasons they come and go, but true friends/lovers stay for ever.... hoping to meet mine one day
 Mtdewy
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 241
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 5:55:05 PM
Get a hobby or join a club that men and women enjoy together. Bowling, Golf, go to Car or Cycle Shows. Go to management seminars or take a nite class or 2. Join a womens club that doesn't cater to just the feminist/self-love philosophies=to independant to love anyone but themselves.

God said go out and multi-ply. It is the order of things. Men and women were made for reach other and for companionship. Write down your strengths and weaknesses.
Your strengths; find a hobby or club that matches them.
The Weakness; then find a college course to take. That will lead to men that are also strengthing thier education. You'll have a great time and enjoy the company of men and people that share your interests. Clubbing gets you free drinks and usually selfish and poor male character company.

Don't just settle for a bed partner. That usually leads to an un-wanted pregnancy, disease, bills, seperation/divorce, child support, lawyer/court expenses, lost wages, and reduction in long term lifestyle comfort for both people.

Be your best in all you do, in all you vocalize, and in your dress or appearance.
If it looks like a duck, quaks like a duck and smells like a duck....it is a duck.
And if it resembles a swan with all the attributes, it is a swan for the most part. Be a swan or be a duck...QUACK... QAUCK... QUACK....But it's hard to be a duck and expect Prince Charming to be looking for a duck. And if one is a duck and wants a duck, thats cool....gotta keep the duck population up as well...right?! just soem thoughts from somebody thats been around the block or two. Good Luck...
 PHOENIX 3
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 242
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 9:34:48 PM
Hello there, Very nicely said. Thank you that was very inspiring. One must make ourselves happy again, do not rely on a male instead rely on girlfirends , family if you are fortunate to have some, I don't and guy friends that are most definitely just friends. Stay away from the emotional roller coastrer of a relationship until you are doing your own thing , standing on your own two feet. Don't be scared and PRAY!
 PHOENIX 3
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 243
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 9:39:35 PM
Wow , I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you. I am living hell right now with my children, they have decided to live with their dad instead of me, he has more money and no rules. I think your situation may be worse than mine, my heart aches for you. I will say a prayer for you, I am so sorry to hear about this. dd
 bcswinger
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 244
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/3/2006 11:06:30 PM
First of all, you're not weak, you're human. There is no disease worse than being lonely. We all need to be loved, and we all need to give love. I agree that time is required in the healing process, we've all been there, so please don't feel like you're the only one.....:) You're right, being stuck in a rut with a dud, is no way to live. There is life and love after divorce, but you have to be patient, give it more time. Rediscover yourself, who are you, what do you miss about yourself, love yourself first. Eventhough i too am looking for the love of my life, my heart still hurts sometimes and i miss wrapping my arms around someone at night, it'll happen for both of us, stay positive, hang out with your pals, and don't stop believing. Oh yeah...be true to yourself!
 imfreenow
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 245
I really feel for people like u,as I am one too.
Posted: 6/4/2006 2:33:32 AM
I am going through the exact same thoughts and feelings as yourself at present.I can not justify any of the emotions,thoughts and feelings I have either.
My heart was kicked hard in a big way as I devoted 17 years to my ex,who is a paranoid schizoprenic.Loved and supported her through many lengthy hospital stays and was blamed for each and every one of them.Her entire family and all her doctors' never seemed to care about my thoughts and feelings and gave me little support.I simply loved her and after 17 years I'm crushed.
The problem is I still love her and now have to let go.
My ex can't even make any rational decisions by herself,without consulting her doctors' and family first.They are the people who make all the important decisions for her no matter what the consequences are to my life.This makes it extremely hard for me to discuss anything at all with my ex.
My circumstances in this is absolutely devistating to myself, as I have a daughter involved.My daughter is my reason for carrying on in life and yes I comtemplated ending my life(honest).My daughter was taken from me by my ex whilst I was at work,and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.So sad isn't it.
I thought I was strong,how wrong I was,especially at night.I will get through this and start again the same way you will.I don't know how yet but I will.
When I find another partner to love,I will once again give 1000% to her.There is someone out there for you as there is for me.They don't know it yet but we are pursuing them with cautious intent.I hope you find someone soon,or at least some great friends to make you once again a happy person.
I wish you all the very best and support you in your thoughts and feelings.
 firefoxspkn
Joined: 9/13/2004
Msg: 246
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/4/2006 4:01:34 AM
best way to get over those hurts and pains of the past is let the door close on it all so new doors to your future can open . your not going to heal if you keep ripping the bandage off your wounds showing people how others hurt you and such . To let it heal dont think about , dont even talk about it , the past is dead and gone why look for new life amongst dead things? those who live in the past slowly die with it .
 minniemouse1
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 247
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/4/2006 4:14:28 AM
ms elegance, i truly know what you are feeling, i have been divorced now for 7 years, when my marriage broke down i jumped straight into another relationship which was more disastrous than the one i had just left. i have been completely on my own like you for 2 years but have used that time to find myself and am only now ready to begin searching for the one, if they exist. i still feel very lonely at times and hate going to bed and waking up on my own but it is through that i feel i have gained strength and have become a better person. I do believe that there is a person out there whom i will inevitably be able to love and care for again but although lonliness hurts its better to wait and be sure than risk that pain all over again, keep fishing honey and good luck
 daylillies
Joined: 9/26/2005
Msg: 248
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/8/2006 8:35:42 PM
so if anyone still inlove with their ex...why are you lookin to date/? do you think that will get you over her/him any faster? your hearts not in it 100% for the other...it still belongs half to the ex.
 musicalife
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 249
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/8/2006 8:44:42 PM
I currently am dying inside. The pain is constant right in my heart and pit of my stomach. I have had the same girl of which I love so dearly string me along for just over a year. It is tearing me to shreds at times. Sometimes I rise above but it comes back in waves. I try to forget about her and she calls telling me she misses me. We talk for hours. She has had a lot happen to her with her ex cheating on her on vacation while she was pregnant no less. I will post more about it down the road. My heart is very tired and jaded. It is the worst I have ever felt over a woman.
 txguy62
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 250
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:08:32 PM
with a 36 point laundry list get used to it.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!