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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:30:28 PM | ms elegance:
I am truly sorry that you are hurting! I know how you feel. John Denver once did a song entitled "Some days are diamonds and some days are stones", I am in the middle of a rock pile also but you must remember it will pass. What I thought were scars are suddenly very sensitive again, but it will pass. You are a beautiful young woman and you will soon be on top again.
Victor | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/9/2006 11:11:03 PM | I've read some of the posts here on this topic....Though I'm not sure just why, this poem by Rudyard Kipling jumped into my mind. As you read it, please give him the credit as the author...
*[IF]*
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
/ --Rudyard Kipling/ | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/9/2006 11:23:22 PM | To ms_elegance_25:
"how come my heart still hurts and I find myself cuddled in a blanket at night alone and praying that someone will come into my life? Or am I weak?"
"Is there life after divorce?"
You know, I keep asking myself these questions. I'm currently separated and will be divorced January 2007. Maybe you can provide an answer for me since you are currently divorced. I have grown as a person so far since January... lost 35 pounds, doing activities that I always wanted to do, etc. I'm trying to rebuild my faith in women (I was cheated on by my spouse, so yeah, it's kinda hard to trust and get close again for fear of being burned again, had to move out of the house we both purchased *these things hurt me big time*), trying to rebuild my confidence and pride since those two things took a major beating. I sometimes wonder if I can get through the divorce process since it's so draining in all aspects (mentally, emotionally, making me physically sick, stressed, etc.)
How did you cope?
I am hoping that one day I will find a better woman... sometimes though, what my ex said... it is still in my head... "You'll be alone forever, nobody will ever want you". I know that's not true, but sometimes.... it gets you thinking.
My dad told me that I will get through this eventually, but it will take time. I just can't wait until this nightmare is over.
I guess in response to your question, you are still in pain over your divorce and you have not healed completely from it. Take some time to be single. When you don't look, a new person will arrive.
Take care,
Jason | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/23/2006 7:35:02 AM | | To add to your post "Maryclare", most people don't want to be around people that are hurting. I remember after my divorce that I was suddenly different. All my friends were married and it seems they did not want to be around me. Maybe it was that I was in such a down mood or maybe it was also a reminder that they do might be in this situation one day and they wanted to stay away from me so they would not catch it. | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/23/2006 6:41:48 PM | Hello=) like the post above, you are not weak. to be alone isn't being weak, We all have are purgatory hidden inside all of us, some more than others, you just have to keep believing that your special someone will come, even if you think the person was already in your life and didn't work then that wasn't your special someone. I know how you feel and you have my compassion, you have to pull yourself back up and keep trying even though it hurts like hell, and that one day when you meet your special someone it will feel wonderous, and exciting and feel like life is beautiful. You will meet your special someone just keep thinking about that day and how would you feel and try to hold on to that feeling. Best of Luck to you | |
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Scrobo
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Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 257 | |
| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/24/2006 12:30:43 PM | Keep hangin' on darlin'
Wish I had THE answer for you; however, I'm grappling with the prospect of losing someone I just met who is very special to me. She's got one foot firmly planted in the past and that's a bad thing. And it never works to try to steer one away from what they think will be something(s) needing resolution; but will probably just do more harm than good.
Okay, I'm ranting. But I think the point I was trying to make was, I'm not sure what is worse now. Waking up alone or knowing that soon you will be.
The ONLY comfort I have (and this may be of some worth) is knowing that, as you say, I didn't cuddle in a blanket alone and pray that someone would come into my life. I let my guard down, took chances, and met someone genuinely wonderful. Maybe you could find a way to be a little more proactive?
I wish you all the best, and I hope that you find what you are looking for.
Post-Script: Would you please say a little prayer for me darlin', cuz I'm really hurting right now just scribbling this. | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/24/2006 2:11:22 PM | | i am 38 years old divorced twice both arranged marriages yes i am asian did not talk or even know the women i am still positive about life i was made bankrupt and made to pay £250,000 pounds to actons solictors in nottingham, they are evil people especially mrs nicky the british legal system stinks of curruption i am a civil servant and feel that i have been robbed. | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/24/2006 3:17:06 PM | | how true i know what you mean i used to think i needed a man to feel whole all it got me was a failed marriage which im fileing for divorce from his true colors showed up after we got married and when i was work and he was at home with my boys yes its nice to wake up next to a man not my 3 year old son but for now it will have to be i believe that there is someone for ever every one and sometimes we settle for who ever comes along instead of for the one we are looking for and yes in the mean time our heart may be hurting and we may think of the past and the one we should of stayed with but didnt cause like alot of people nowadys we were in a hurry instead of thinking a nd taking our time or we were to young so for now we sit back learn to take care of us or in my case my boys and in time our mr right will come along and things will work out this time for good end of waking up alone i know its the waiting well thanks for letting me chat with you and any one who reads this bye for now alpinette later | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/24/2006 3:30:10 PM | | >sorry again about your pain and as a woman who has been through more relationships then care to have been through and still trying to find mr right i come to the conclussion to take of me and my boys for now or maybe in your case your self hang out with your friends do something fun that you like to do later alpinette | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/26/2006 12:22:52 PM | Ms elegance
You are a die hard romantic like I am. You are not weak you are human. God made us to have a partner, 1/2 and 1/2 coming together to make a whole. I am 51, no biological children (I helped him raise his 3 from his first marriage). I have not worked in 18yrs, because he wanted me to stay at home. My ex was a very dominating person that I married when I was 20 and stayed married to him for 30yrs. I turned 50 and decided that I was old enough not to be told what to do anymore and when I started taking up for myself he started treating me horribly. I was faithful through my whole marriage (he was not), so he left at the end of Oct. and I filed for divorce in Dec and he is still trying to dominate me by dragging this divorce out. I hope after reading this far you are counting your blessing and saying to yourself, boy !! I am glad I am not her !!!!! LOLOLOL. I hope you are laughing by now and sighing with relief that you are not in my shoes, come on laugh with me a for just a few minutes your mind with be off your problems. That was the purpose of telling you about my life. At least you have a child (that was taken away from me because he did not want any more children). You see sweety you are not alone in this great big world, even though you feel that way. Join a support group, go to church, do volunteer work. Give of yourself to others and by helping them you will be strengthening yourself and taking your mind off of yourself and your feeling of loneliness. But even though you may feel that you will never find anyone to share your life with, you will. I am a GA. girl and just like Atlanta rose again so shall we, it just takes time. Your in my prayers, Sandy | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/26/2006 12:41:26 PM | | I do the same thing, don't let any of these other people tell you that time heals, get over it,...what you're feeling is real and it is painful, I'm there now even after two years. I pray about the same way and I just have to trust that we live for GOD and He will do for us in HIS time, not ours. But, I know that is not much help either, but sometimes it's all I have to hang onto. I can picture you in your blanket and it hurts my heart to see this, because when I'm doing the same thing, I wonder...." Is there anyone out there to save me or hurt because I hurt" I know, but just keep praying | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/26/2006 1:09:16 PM | | caroline30, get out and get out now!!!! Yes, sometimes I felt better at least being married, but even though it's a different pain now being alone, I would not go back to the other pain. Please, get out...I'm 41, been married 3 times have four kids and the last husband I would have died before I would've let him be hurt by anyone, he did not feel the same, as I realized after 13yrs. and finding out all hte times he had been cheating. I'm am so lost, hurt, and confused now, but I would never trade this pain for that pain ...ever! Jst get out!!! You can find me and we can talk, women are trained to hate each other because of the competition for men, but men don't hate each other, because we have taught them that as long as they "say" they love us, they can do no wrong...It's time to teach them another way...women need to be friends, not enemies, then what will the men do?...Jamie | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/26/2006 2:12:22 PM | | I hate being alone all the time too. I have lots of things to do at home like videogames, karaoke, dvd's, a surround sound entertainment center, but it's always the same thing and it gets boring and puts you to sleep if there's no one there to share it with. Also, if you're really depressed like me, you may start listening to depressing songs on tape or the radio and feel sorry for yourself and think that what your listening to relates to you.Alone again (naturally) is one of my favorite songs. Everyone feels the need for a boyfriend or girlfriend to fill the void in their life, but only God can do that. It's hard to be patient but a lot of Bible stories told of people who had to wait a long time and suffer to obtain something greater than they could imagine. Patience is hard but don't settle for second best because a lot of people on dating sites usually turn out like that. You need a lot of trust to start a long lasting relationship. Also, don't keep thinking negatively because the more you do, the less likely you'll attract somebody who sees how you are. Not everyone will feel sorry for you so don't think that. If you just say forget about everyone else and get more confidence and start acting and thinking more confident no matter how hard it is, you'll soon be beating people off with a stick and making them feel the way you once did after they keep chasing what they can't have. | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/26/2006 2:37:00 PM | First...I'm sorry your hurting. I know how you feels..as do many other's. You might expect a lot of "get over it's" Live your life...etc. It is difficult...and a pillow can and will never instantly tuen into the next primce charming. Have faith...he is out there, it may take sometime. Since you have some time on your hands, this is a opportunity for you to open some new doors. That's not easy either...it's important to try and change your thoughts to something productive. He will be a long..when the time is right......and it almost alway's seems just when your not looking..."poof" he shows up.By this time you have established a good hold on feeling secure within yourself. You have become your best friend, and you have established other interest's. What great timing for him to show up! He will love the fact that you are a capable lady, who can take care of herself. That you have interests of your own...and some of them he might like to do with you. So what am i saying? This is a time for you to do some thinking, and start living like a single lady since this the reality right now. It's a chance to become comfortable being single, and to learn that it is far from the horrible existance you feel right now. Are there things that you have alway's wanted to do...try? If so...here is your golden opportunity. Make a list of these things. Research them...and choose something that you feel would be the most suitable for you right now. Yes it's hard...but if you can make a positive move to turn of that..."Where is he?" You will see an immediate change in yourself. When those thoughts enter your mind...change them quickly! To a positive constructive thought that you have control over. It's a habit you need to build. It takes time. Writing little notes and putting them around the house, might be helpful. You might put up notes to the effect of...I am a great person all by myself. Single if a time for me to grow and learn, Being single is fun! i like having my own space...etc. Go through the motions of enjoying being single...the feelings will catch up. and think about you..just you as a person...as a whole person, complete and happy. Think it, act it, do it...and it will all come together. There are many rewards..you will see, as long as you can accept where you are right now..and make the most of it.
Chris  | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/26/2006 2:37:59 PM | No, you are not weak..don't ever forget that..
I am single also..and also long for that special someone..I just finished reading the book, Living alone and loving it..Please read it...you may find it helpful..
Sometimes when I think I found "the one' and it doesn't work, the hurt I feel is indescribable..Just know that you are not alone..Try to take it one day at a time..I still have hope..you should too..
Im 38 years old now..just had my birthday and still wonder.."Am I going to alone forever?'.
Then I remember my marriage..there are worse things....but that longing is one I understand.. | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/26/2006 5:39:55 PM | | I just started going back to church recently and shared the same thing with my pastor. I have friends praying that I'll find the right person and the timing will be God's. In the meantime it's hard being alone, but everything will work out if you stay confident. I am struggling with issues in my life since going back to church. I have to get rid of a lot of things that prevent me from listening to God and doing what I need to to find the right person. I may use God or the Bible too much in some of my forums, I may sound judmental when I do, but I'm just expressing myself, nobody's perfect. God said that it's not right for a man to be alone, that's why He made Women from Adam. There is someone for you out there, just try not hurry things, I still do and it just makes me doubt and get angry more, but to get something great you have to go through pain but don't let anybody or anything distract you. | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 6/26/2006 6:00:36 PM | | A tender situation indeed,,there are times when one just wants to let go of the halter and say the devil with it all,,stay in there and keep the faith,,even if it still is a dim blaze,,some one will eventually be there to prop up the torch and love you for what you are,,,its hard to invest in time,,but to some,,its the only commodity we have,,you have the strengh and the endurance,,don't give up the battle,,for when the war is won,,you'll be displaying your colors proudly,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,peace!!!!!!! | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 7/10/2006 8:41:39 AM | Hello=) Sorry for your pain, I can relate, This is an option that might help, picture in your mind what you want and don't let go and try to think of ways to make this thought real and use your negative thought s and direct them toward the picture in your mind and soon enough you might be suprised that it will come true. Best of Luck  | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 8/18/2007 2:09:16 PM | You are a gorgeous and smart woman...The man who gets you will be lucky to have you. Don't just take anyone who comes along...be picky..you deserve the best!!!
I just had an idea of how you could start your own support system..and you have already asked for other mother's to come forward...but in your community, go and see someone and ask if you can start a single parent/broken hearts club or something. You would be surprised who will listen to you...Persist and don't give up, ok??
Also, love yourself...No other person can make you happy if you are not happy with yourself. Men are attracted to women who are not desperate. Take my word for it...when I find someone and go out with them...all the other men come flocking...Strange creatures men are...We just have to learn to understand them.
Smile during good times and cry in the not so good times. Let your emotions free!! It feels so good.
I am going through a heartache as well...I really thought this man was my soulmate for life. I'm not sure if I'm ready to date again, but I know if I sit around and feel sorry for myself...things will never heal or change.
You are a special person...just keep telling yourself that...even if it's in the mirror...lol...It sounds funny but it works. Put those yellow stickies all over your home w/positive affirmations and you will see them everyday and start to live and believe them.
J | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 8/18/2007 9:40:18 PM | | I completely agree with you! I too feel the same way. Minus the divorce part though. I finally came to terms with the fact that I do want to get married some day. Or atleast to be engaged once in my life would be nice. I'm only 25, but I feel like my opportunity to possably get married are begining to become less and less. | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 8/18/2007 10:30:35 PM | | new to this so if this goes to you Unique sorry. glad i read this forum recently seperated and although seeing that these feelings arent going to be going away anytime soon is kinda a downer least i know that its normal to be feeling them.hope the best to all of you and thanks for shareing all this. | |
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| this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 8/21/2007 1:27:41 PM | | I am now as of yesterday going through how you feel .A very inportant guy in society ,and I mean high up ,but cant say.never thought he would be this way ,emailed and called and even made plans as to our future and all I did was return the feelings he kept hitting me with and then as of last night ,have no idea why or what is going on or what happened.He quit reading the last two emails I sent just all of a sudden blocked me out instantly ,no mail, no call ,no Im sorry ,no I found someone else ,NOTHING.Even deleted the sweet comment I made on his profile, and the number he kept calling me from thats a important number to the kind of work he does,I called it and not in service now thats a strange one.Even took his picture off his profile. But never deleted me off his favorites or himself off mine.So hows that for Life.When I didnt say or do a thing wrong ,except return feelings the same as he was showing me.he came after me full force and made planbs for our future and I agreed.So hows that a good ole slap right in the kisser | |
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