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 Rake
Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 26
Why do women say they love you then dump you?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Why do women say they love you then dump you?


easy as 2 apple pies.

They tell you they love you because they dont love you.

yo check it

....when someone loves you, they SHOW you they love you through their actions.

in fact, they're not even conscious of it half the time but it still oooozes out of their pores in the way they look at you, smile at you, touch you, want to be near you....etc....most of the time they couldn't even stop themselves if they wanted to.....you can tell by the way they float around you when they walk......they're living in a kind of day dream.....and they're happy as a queen....the mere idea of you, the longing here for you, you'll never know, how slow, the moments grow, when they're near to you....they see your face in every flower, your eyes in the stars above....

does any of this ring a bell?

but like usual I digress....

Anyway, when someone is NOT in love with you but wants you to THINK they are in love with you they replace all of the things I mentioned above with 3 little words....

care to guess which ones?

total consultation fees: 2¢

Rake out...
 burkeclass
Joined: 12/30/2004
Msg: 27
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 9/21/2005 5:48:44 PM
@ existentail


bullshit
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 28
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 9/21/2005 7:46:19 PM
Someone please give me a non sarcastic answer if possible. Why do women do this?

A Woman, maybe a few, but definitely not Women.
 Ms. Picky
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 29
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:09:12 PM
People come into your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime.

It sounds to me like she needed you in her life, albeit brief, for a reason.

Considering your age difference, perhaps it was a conflict she was having with her father (or uncle, or older brother, etc.) and she was leaning on you for the emotional support you were giving her.

Perhaps she just felt lonely and needed someone to talk to.

Or, just maybe, she's like a lot of other people you will find on the internet...in denial, a commitmentphobe, is suffering from [social] anxiety, etc.

There are so many reasons people fall "in love" on the internet. Let's face it...neither of you were "in love". You were "in deep like", "infatuated", "in lust", or maybe just plain old "in need of someone you can get close to, yet is still far away enough that you won't have to deal with real issues or feelings".

You never know.

All I can say is: I think she loved you for helping her through what she needed you for at the time. She loved you like a friend...a father figure...a brother...etc. She was NOT in love with you. That can't happen virtually. Although I'd like to believe that it can, I don't think that was the case here.

So, assuming that she realized you were in her life for a reason, and realized what that reason was, you need to now think about why she came into your life. There's a reason. Search deep.
 noblestranger
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 30
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 10/11/2005 12:19:21 PM
WTF is this for real ?
 destiny vs free will
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 31
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 11/21/2006 10:56:01 AM
I think a lot of people fear true intimacy. It isnt only men who get dumped. I think generally in this Brave New World that relationships have become a battleground. It takes a lot of love, caring and honesty to truly love someone, it is also a responsibilty when you touch another's heart. Some people don't take responsibility for their actions. Its called immaturity.
 destiny vs free will
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 32
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 11/21/2006 11:11:29 AM
Actually there is a way of understanding it, and understanding it is what helps release us from the pain. The truth shall set you free, it is said. We are not just emotional beings, we also are intellectual. If we can use our reason and intellect to understand the actions of others, to lift ourselves out of the mud. Ayn Rand said something along this line, it is our reason, not our emotions that lift us out of the mud ) It is our intellect that lifts us to the stars. I am a very emotional being, and couldn't emotionally understand or coprehend why others could be so cruel until I began to analize their actions and state of being. Some people are simply not evolved enough emotionally to take responsibility for their actions. Someone mentions their "intellect exploded", that is actually probably what happened, as the emotions took over. Years down the road everything will be much clearer. In the process, pain is a great teacher.
 ya472
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 33
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 11/21/2006 12:21:41 PM
Another revived thread from a year ago...


Some women don't want to hurt your feelings, so they go to extraneous measures to extract themselves from you when they know 'nothing is going to happen'.

Often a woman falls in love with the fantasy, until her husband returns home.

 EaglesCry68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 34
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Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 1/31/2007 9:59:29 AM
Because they are acting according to motives and hidden agendas obviously. I must agree a little bit with a previous poster.


You see; they KNOW they were in love with you and that was a loving and beautiful place to be....but this is not the place for them and go on to the piece of sh*t, game playing, loveless life that is their place in this world.


It's just THAT! A game. Maybe they act out what has been done to them in the past. Maybe they realize they're not worthy of a true love. Maybe they haven't reached a level of enlightenment and simply don't care what pain and hurt they cause another. Maybe they want to be loved but not love in return. Maybe they have not found closure in a previous love and don't realize how to channel that into a new, and prosperous love.

As hurtful and sorrowful as this action truly is, I for one believe in everything having a silver lining and to sit back and dwell on such is a paradox of growth. Those of us who know how to Love unconditionally and with the true hearts intent will inevitably find that which we seek. I have no regrets or resentments, although this doesn't help to alleviate the mystery or sorrow within. Time heals all wounds and only God knows why these things happen, yet we may never.


God Bless
Scott
 catfishmarx
Joined: 1/22/2007
Msg: 35
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 1/31/2007 10:12:12 AM
How did you fall in love with someone that you've never smelled?
 yanci
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 36
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Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 1/31/2007 10:16:46 PM
Well, since the thread has been revived- you can love someone with all your heart, but be better off not in a relationship. Love can't be rationalized into or out of existence. Sometimes you are with a person, in a situation, that just is not good for you physically or mentally, and you know you shouldn't be in it. It takes a strong person to move away from a relationship when they love someone, but know it isn't good for them.
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 37
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Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:21:02 AM

Why do women do this?


Hummm...some women do this and also some men do this. However, men seem to do this more frequently. If you only knew of the horror stories that some men have done. Maybe she was doing what was done to her in the past? That does not make it right but that is why some women act this way. They get hurt and end up getting angry, bitter and resentful and hurt others the way they were hurt. Again, I am not saying it is proper conduct but it is most likely the reason.

~Carrie
 Jay Jays
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 38
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:30:03 AM
"Love" aside, this has happened with me with several pen pals I've had in the past.

You know, we send emails for months and then it becomes more and more infrequent.

I think you just end up running out of things to say and the emails turn into mundane day to day stuff and then it becomes more of a chore than fun.
 Matt 48
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 39
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Q
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:44:58 AM
It happened because first of all (and I ain't no chouvinistic pig I'm just old and maybe a bit wise) woman are ****ed up and men spend the're whole lives trying to figure them out and never suceed!! The bottom line is that it boils down to an insecurity level.once she proves she can have you...she wants to try for more..........it sucks ...Ive come to believe that basically............woman are evil but we still gotta ge laid..and they know it!!!!
 rollergrrl
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 40
Q
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:51:46 AM
i left my husband because he cheated and i knew there was a better life out there for me than worrying if he would do it again and give me an STD the next time.

i loved him very much but i knew i had to go. during the divorce i never told him i loved him, i was pretty much all business. doesn't mean i wouldn't go out to my car and cry and scream and pound my fists into the steering wheel.

when everything was over and all my stuff was moved i told him i loved him and deep down i'd always care but i haven't spoken to him since then

so, at least in my experience, it's possible to love someone and still have to leave them
 TheShoulder
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 41
Q
Posted: 2/1/2007 6:22:54 AM
Well, the last relationship I was in, she never uttered those words to me. I told her that I did love her, and she would say "I know". Maybe I was too hopeful that she was going to say it back one day, I don't know.

On the bright side, I did get a friend and an appreciation for extra-toed cats out of it
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 42
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/1/2007 7:18:38 PM
I think humans are the most optimistic of all creatures; naturally, I include myself. As an added dimension, humans are not adept at handling their cyber technology (despite substantial protestations to the contrary).

What we have left is a one unholy recipe for disappointment.

We humans take in empirical (sensual) input and synthesize it into an unempirical, highly subjective (but cognitively-driven) soul. If we LIKE the “bones,” (the raw data) we conjure our own brand of flesh on them bones. All seems well until the real person comes into contact with the one that has been conjured. The real person almost always loses out to the “made up” one. Why? It’s because of the optimistic nature of humans. Our on line entity is flawless. Inherently, we make up the best of personality traits, the most wonderful of personalities, the most incredible manners, hairdo, behaviors, wardrobe, sleeping habits (no snoring allowed), and hygiene. The "cyber angel" becomes a real inspiration.

Reality, most often, does not measure up. We confront a flawed vocabulary, speech impediments, belches and farts, dandruff, a dirty clothes basket, loud snores, halitosis, smelly feet and BO.

The Reality bubble gets popped.

. . . And we do it again, and again, and again, ad infinitum.

We truly are at the mercy of the “cyber angel.” . . . and some people get cold feet.

I wish you good fortunes in your search for your perfect woman.
 Looking4honesty1
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 43
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:23:00 AM
It is sad to see women play the same games as men. I have tried for a long time to analize why people do that but it only gives me a headake. Bottom line - people like that are self absorbed. In my experience most people only think of themselves first and other people second - if at all. The only thing to do is move on - keep looking until you find the person who doesn't play games with other people. I don't get too excited about someone unless I have seen them and met them longer than a month. Usually spending more than 3 times with them - over 2 hours each time - is the only way you know who the person really is. That is the only way I will ever trust someone completely and know I may see them the next day.

So many people pretend to care about other people to try to get you to trust them for their own purposes. I find that men - it is mostly about pretending to care a lot about you to get sex. I have found a lot of people who contact me from other countries are skammers. They either want to find a way into your country or they are trying to play the fraude game or get you to feel sorry for them to send them money. The good part of this 'game' is -- time usually takes care of people who aren't honest. No one can tell you the same lie twice. Listen to your gut - and if it feels wrong - it usually is. I trust people as long as they show me they can be trusted, which usually doesn't take very long.
 THE*JOSEY*WALES
Joined: 3/14/2006
Msg: 44
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:24:43 AM
Maybe because they DO LOVE YOU, but change their minds?
 SlyKnight
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 45
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:28:47 AM


i am still wondering how in the world people can have a "relationship" on the internet????


The only thing required for loving someone is the willingness to open our hearts. Physical presence is not required. After all, we still love our parents even after they die, and we love our children even before they are born.

In the time before internet, telephones, or telegraphs, there was the mail system. Men and women have used it for hundreds of years to acquaint themselves with one another in distant places. Many a union has come of this, many friendships, and some of these relationships go very long periods before anyone sets eyes upon the other.

Read Benjamin Franklin's biography if you don't believe me.

We live in an age of what our ancestors would call instant gratification. All generations before ours knew patience. Our generation's definition of patience is measured in miliseconds sometimes.



Quoted for truth, and in case just one more person learns something from it. Preferably someone from the MTV generation with a millisecond attention span :)
 GreatAttitude
Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 46
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/3/2007 1:30:32 PM
Right...it's just women. Jeez!
 converteddreams
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 47
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Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/3/2007 2:02:35 PM
Hello Western, being a romantic myself at heart .. there may be multi reasons why this occurred . and perhaps none of them are what you think .. sometimes people are just plain afraid to take the risk to be happy . if she has been hurt her fear of being hurt agin could have frozen her in place .. but for what ever reason it happened do not allow it to make you feel any less about your self.. and btw i don,t think you you ever feel cheapen by loving anyone .. be it here online or for a limited time .. love is the only real thing one can possess in life .. and believe it or not it is a forever thing .. the person may move from your life but the feelings is what we remember most .. cherish them .. learn from all that has happened a go on .. love some times live just around the corner .. be blessed .. !!!
 lephermessiah
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 48
Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/3/2007 5:23:00 PM
This is just my opinion, but if they say that they "love" you and then dump you and state they no longer have feelings for you, then they either mistook love for lust, or never really loved at all.

If you truly do love someone, you'll love them forever.
 chemistrymajor8
Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 49
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Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/3/2007 6:12:48 PM
Tsk tsk...because they're women!!! Women don't need excuses silly!!! They only need opportunity. When will they learn....
 Windslow
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 50
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Why do women say they love you then dump you?
Posted: 2/4/2007 7:44:31 AM
Why do you believe them? Was it the ego stroking? Enjoy them with caution and intelligence not just with your gonads.
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