| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/21/2005 9:57:26 PM |  ^^^^^ I suppose you have a point there. I do not have a problem being friends with my exes. There is only one that I am not friends with, nor do I really want to be. Initially after the break up, no I do not think it is a good idea to be all chummy. You need some down time away to move on, so to speak. I talk to my last boyfriend quite a bit actually and we are very good friends. We get along better now then we did when we were together. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/21/2005 11:38:49 PM | There are ex's and then there are EX's. I was married, we have a 10 yo son. We would do many things together FOR HIS SAKE. Not because I or she wanted to string out an ended relationship (well perhaps there is some subconscious motives). Anyone else have subconscious motives?
Anyways, now I have a steady GF, and my ex has been more distant. I think the boy told her. And there hasnt' been a lot of joint picnics, and for some reason (partly my fault) the kid isnt signed up for a fall team sport for the first time in years. A month ago, the mom got really pissed off that I was asking my son to read "IF THE BUDDHA DATED", especially since he turned to the chapter on same sex dating! Its not some sex guide, its a relationship book (I didnt want him to be as bad as she or I was at relating to people). So anyway, she yelled and screamed at me in the car on the way to his schools open house, and just about kicked me out on the side of the Interstate. Thats what I dont want him to act like when he grows up!
PS: I aint surprised new BF's or GF's get weird when someone hangs out with an ex (except as described above). Most psychologists and counselors will tell you that isnt respectful of your new partner. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 12:03:02 AM | | Absolutely...they're the few closest people to you...who care about you most...they're not going to be your life long partner or the "one" but a special person in your life that crossed your path none the less...so yah...often our relationship/friendship is better then when we were in the relationship b/ there's no pressures/expectations...its more relaxed/casual. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 7:12:16 AM | | For me in example after over a year there is still the guilt of having ended the mariage and the feeling that I still need to make sure she is ok. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 9:17:45 AM | | Yes, it's possible. I am good friends with my ex and still keep in touch. I am also friends with his girlfriend. Weird? maybe...but better than hating each other and being bitter. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 12:26:35 PM | | A person can be friends with a donkey if they want, but, there is a time and a place for relationships of all sorts. You just gotta know whats the most important relationships in your life. | |
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nergal
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Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 32 | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 12:32:26 PM |
Is it really possible to be friends with a ex and still carry on with new relatiohsips and be honest about still being involved in their lives and not create jealously?
Well of course it is!
Some of my best friends are ex's *cough*pandy*cough* | |
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daking
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Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 34 | |
| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 12:49:41 PM | I would love to be friends but i just can't seem to quit stumbling over that thing called pride.After being together for as long as we were it is hard. I am happy to report that i believe God has sent me an angel!!!! I am a lucky Cowboy, i was sent an angel 23 years ago. And now i know God has sent me another. Girl if you read this i am happy to tell you i feel that way. This has been an incredible journey for me. I have learned alot about myself, and i am thankful to have the blessing to be able to love again. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 1:23:32 PM | | im friends with an ex and its ok, i jus wish her the best life possible as long as im not in it | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 9:33:31 PM | | Depends on how you ended it. Sometimes you were meant to "be" as a couple but Friends are different. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 9:40:32 PM | Absolutely...just had coffee and over an hour of conversation with mine yesterday.
We're still friends...just can't be a couple anymore, or right now,or whatever. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 10:22:23 PM | You can. But it takes a tremendous amount of maturity - and let's face it, how often in a relationship are you BOTH mature, especially when it ends??? Like, if I got dumped, and did evil things with mousetraps. I daresay the ex and I would not be friends. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking.
But sometimes, you have a suit jacket in the closet that just no longer fits you. Would be great for someone else. That doesn't mean you hate it - it just no longer fits. And when you're pulling at the buttons, and your arms feel like they're in sausage casings, chances are the jacket ain't too happy either. You can be completely comfortable giving that jacket a new home and seeing someone else wear it.
In that case, you can be friends. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 10:26:27 PM | | This is whats funny, some threads go on and on about what a cheating, alchoholic, drug addicted unemployed, looser the ex is. Then we get this thread about 50/50 saying people are still "good friends". Oh ok, so there is a different crowd in the different threads. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 10:30:42 PM | | It seems to only really be possible to have a friendship with exes when both are in a new relationship (a GOOD new relationship!). Otherwise, the one will generally be jealous of the 'new' person, at least in my experience! | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 42 | |
| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 10:42:13 PM | I am still on speaking terms, call each other etc, with several exes
One even goes back to high school, 35 years ago
There are very few that don't ring at xmas etc
You were with a person for reason
Just because you are no longer in a relationship, the reason is still there
Unless of course it was purely sexual
That scenario is a totally different matter
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 10:49:45 PM | | I sure would like to find that magical never never land where you could- Its been two and a half years since we parted ways- i left him.. i had some serious issues with him.and could not fix them alone..It ended up being mutual -that we part ways after a while- And if its not one thing its another- Usually over money- but recently he threatened a guy to my face that i went out ona date with..Now mind you - he had a lady friend first,Next throw kids into the mix-their needs and the the fact that he wont discuss the demise of our relationship and what went wrong..Am i wrong? But isn't it time to move on? I sure thought so! I guess it depends on who does the leaving- although it wasnt any easier to leave...I guess i will never know.. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/23/2005 12:20:21 AM | Jenny, sometimes somethings dont need to be discussed. Actually people who are really "close friends" with an ex are in the minority. dont get me wrong, I do respect my exwife, and we take the kid places like Chuckecheese on his birthday, etc. Respect and friends are two different things.
He may never want to talk about the demise. YOU NEED TO LOOK AT YOUR SIDE OF THE STREET. thats all you are responsible for in life, and thats a big responsibilty. Resentments are the number one cause of "stress" (or worse). Maybe he was 90% the problem, but, please, its your 10% that you need to reveal honestly to another human being and whoever your God is. And then, WRITE DOWN ON PAPER what you did wrong, and what you could have done differently.
As per not discussing things, I am ashamed to say that a few years ago my ex wife wanted us to be a family again with the then 5-6 yo boy. So she invited me over for a non sexual "sleep over". She had bought a cheap lousy mattress, and my back and neck hurt within minutes, so I told the boy to get out of his bed so I could have his bed and he slept with his mom (maybe you saw that Jerry Springer) episode. Anyway, I was not happy....she cooked some crappy italian sausage for breakfast...AND I LOST MY COOL and yelled about the crappy sausage and lousy bed she bought, and she started crying and that was the worst day of my life......that was 5 years ago....this summer I told her I was truly rude and mean and ruined that chance to get back together again and you know what she said..."I dont even remember it". | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/23/2005 6:51:52 AM | | Fluff kinda get my question but its the opposite, the ex doesnt seem to have a problem with the girlfriends, the girlfriends have trouble with the ex. | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/23/2005 9:08:45 AM | | It's definately possible to stay friends with exes. It's probably easier if you were friends before partners, but it depends on each individual being comfortable with it. Sure you may have that twinge of jealousy when they're with someone new, but if you care about them enough to remain friends that you'll get over that because you want them to be happy. | |
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Ovnay
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Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 47 | |
| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/23/2005 10:24:44 AM | I never had this situation but the way I feel is that guys and girls can become friends. I'm engaged and I met this girl in my accounting class and I was attracted to her but I never pursued her.
So I think its possible even with all the sexual tension that might exist.
Its all in the mind. | |
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maa_97
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Joined: 7/25/2005
Msg: 48 | |
| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/23/2005 11:34:03 AM | Well one i have been friends with for a long time. We get on great but we both know we are better as friends.. she doesn't wish to know about my relationships if and when i do get into them. She still has issues with that for some reason...I think if you can get past your 'issues' and move on yes you can be friends with an ex... | |
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 10/2/2005 4:56:33 PM | I feel if the your ex is the type of person that can be friends after a break up then stick with the ex as a friend but theres some ex's that are not to be friends and thats where the line gets removed I am not that much friends with my ex wife but much friends with my 7 year with my ex coman law wife. Even I have a child with my ex wife I still don't mix the past with what happened she just a person thats a mother of my child. The coman-law wife is a friend and a mother of my children. That the ex wife didn't care as a friend after the break up the coman-law wife did like a friend and not like a wife. If the ex still like's you like a friend and cares like a friend then I would keep you as a friend unless being friends we want to start overafte a long time then thats something to chat about. An ex with children bad or good friend or not is where you have to stop the line. yes my ex wife is a mother of my child and that it yes my ex coman-law wife is a friend and mother of my children I.E. I might not like my ex wife but she not my friend as to my ex coman-law wife.
"As the say goes people come in to your life. People go out of your life Some stay in your life no mater what. Some leave your life and never return. some may go out of your life but show up later in your life."
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| Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 10/2/2005 5:00:28 PM | i really want to answer this question, but because i have nothing positive to add, i will refrain.
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