| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:49:45 PM | WOW..... you'll never find anyone to love and accept you if you don't do so first yourself.....
Because of a thyroid problem I recently gained over 100 pounds...... and I feel blessed that it happened to me.... it gave me a whole new perpective on life,people,acceptance,..and the power of positive thinking....I am only trying to lose weight now due to a recent illness and the history of heart disease in my family.....
I've met more men who were interested in me AFTER I GOT BIG,..than before..... I'd hazard a guess it has something to do with learning to love myself no matter how huge my ass gets...(and hey,keep in mind,....there are MANY men who dig a WEIGHT-BLESSED woman.).... Good luck....and do what you feel is best for YOU,....not what you think will make someone attracted to you!
Bless
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Rox67
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Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 52 | |
| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 3/24/2007 11:20:38 PM | Peanut - I blamed my ex's lack of interest in me on my weight but later realized my marriage was over for other reasons. Then I got involved with this handsome, sexy, athletic guy who could have had his pick of women and wanted to be with me. He made me feel so good at the beginning and I lost 65 lbs because I felt wanted.
I credited him with that weight loss (he always told me how sexy and pretty I was and helped me work out at the gym).......and I still had low self esteem. It turned out he was quite a player......but even though he lied big time and emotionally abused me......I stayed because I thought no one else would want me and I had been so starved for affection before meeting him and I was afraid of being lonely again.
I finally got away from him and am finally feeling good about myself and that affects the way other people see me.
Now I realize that there are GOOD guys out there attracted to women over size 8. Some are are just after sex but others want more....they see the whole package and they are fine with the single mom thing too.
There are many more than 10 guys who would want to date "a girl like you".......I know it sounds corny (and others have already said it) but like who you are........and don't worry.....the right person is going to see you and they'll be worth waiting for....take care. | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 3/25/2007 6:26:32 AM | no no one is gonna date you love,stop going on a diet and get on one,try walking too,but keep to it,how long have you been fat,how long have ya been unhappy?so ya gonna stay like this?? for the next few years,cos lets face it ya dont get fat over night,change today be ,today  | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 3/25/2007 9:45:40 AM | | I am a BBW and I find I have more luck meeting guys through friends or family than on here. Most guys out here only want a quick lay, then they move on. That would be fine if it was what I want, but it's not. Don't let the fact that you are a BBWSM get you down. There are plenty of good decent guys out there who love to cuddle with girls who have "more cushion for the pushin". Just keep in mind that there things that may turn you off as well, for example, I will not date someone who has bad teeth. We all have our little hang-ups, we just have to use them to our advantage. Keep your chin up and remember you are only as hot as you think you are and I'm smokin!!!!!!!!! | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 3/25/2007 12:07:03 PM | | hi how are im a bbw to i know how you feel . ive been single now for 5 months when they see im big they back off . we are human to and we do have feelings . just do let yourself down cause there is a man for everywoman out ther keep your head up high bbw are awasome pple arent we have a great day | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 3/25/2007 12:11:33 PM | | sorry but you sound so harsh i dont make a person feel to good some pple have a very hard time loosing weight . like my self but as long i know i love my self it dont matter us bbw have hearts to have a great day | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 3/25/2007 12:47:21 PM |
It's like SO hard to find a date when you are a BBW... but add being a single parent to the mix and it's near impossible. I'm not ranting or anything, but it's getting lonely here after 5 months of singleton living. I know that the right one will come along but I'm so tired of waiting for him you know? I mean, like this fall I'm going to go on a diet and get some Tae Bo tapes and try to lose some of this weight, but then I'm still a single mom.... I wonder if there is a guy out there that would date a girl like me... or more than one... maybe ten or so... that would really want to because I don't think there is. But you never know I guess.
I like average to bbw more than thin women myself, and i don't care if they have a kid or not.
The only concern i have is whether they want someone for herself or for her kid.
If it is for herself then i will date her, if it is because she needs me for her kid, then i won't date her.
I completely understand that the child is a part of who she is, but having a relationship with a single parent should be about the relationship between to the two adults not just the child.
I think a lot of single parents scare off potential partners by doing this.
We all understand the child comes with you and we have to care about the child also.
Just remember the reason why we went out with you in the first place, that is because we are attracted and wanted to be with you, not your child.
Good luck in your search | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 3/25/2007 3:07:13 PM | I'm a BBW, a single mom... and I've found a great guy... Take your daughter out to places were other parents will be... (I found my guy at the skating rink... ) I don't skate... but my daughter does... he was there with his son... we chatted... and well here we are a year later Happy as two peas in a pod!
As for being a BBW... I love it... It lets me know if someone likes me for me, instead of just for my looks!
Looks will fade... a personality is there for life | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 3/25/2007 6:00:18 PM | | It saddens me to read your words. I too am a BBW as well as a single mom. I do not experience the same problems that you do. I have no problem meeting men here or in person. I do not say that to sound conceited, but to show you that it is very much so possible. I don't believe I am any more beautiful than you. What I do think the difference is our levels of self esteem. I love me and I think that I am beautiful. Because I believe it, that’s what the rest of the world sees. Not just with my attitude, but because since I love me, I have learned to enhance the features I find most flattering. All of this brings out a glow. A certain confidence if you will. When you feel it, others will see it. You become that much more attractive to those around you. Confidence is beautiful. I am beautiful, and you can be too. And BTW, my son doesn't stop anything. Men try and use my son to get close to me. Change your mindset and your life will change. | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 3/25/2007 6:31:17 PM |
I often wonder how many overweight people would date someone height and weight proportionate to themselves... I dont know what that answer is, but it would be interesting to find out if given a line up of different sized people, how many would look at someone obese and say "they're sexy" .... ponderous thought .
I get it all the time because not all guys are as shallow minded as you seem to be from your statement. I am called beautiful, pretty, and sexy as hell (just to name a few) on a regular basis. I am never single long, and I've even experienced friends of men I dated trying to hit on me. And from some pretty hard bodies. I refuse to believe I am the exception to the rule. | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:58:42 AM | | I understand that you find it difficulty finding a date while your a single parent.The reason is that guys don't want women is that they don't want a family yet,and also they want to enjoy their life as a single guy.I think what you should do is find a guy who also has kids.As for being big,just look for guys who is interested in big women,I know they are out there. | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:12:47 PM | | Well I dont think that size has anything to do with it ok sometimes its just hard to find that person I guess i mean that someone special . I have been single now for over 4 yrs here and no I m not overweight actually either . I have a 3 and a half year old daughter though and love her to pieces but i would never choose a man over her she is part of my life and wouldnt change a thing about that . I have to agree with one comment i had read that I too have learned so much about myself in the past 4 yrs here that it has made me a stronger person inside and out so my daughter has me as her mother and father and i came home from the hospital with her alone and have been that way since im not saying i havent dated nothing long term though but you know the right person will come along maybe you should take some time to get to know your child though and the rest will fall in place when its suppose to and maybe dont look as they always say when you least expect it boom there it is . I guess im talking from first hand experience here i ve done alot of crying about things that have happened but you know im content with the way life is for me and if someone comes along in my life then that would be great but i dont worry about it now i have much more important things in my life to feel blessed for like my daughter i was 40 when she was born so was late in life but glad shes here the number one thing in my life. maybe you should just love yourself first and like i said its whats on the inside that counts anyhow so love your child cause they need you now and look for guidance from you and dont worry about the rest either i have learned that each day is a new one filled with new memories and the past is the past so enjoy today | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/2/2007 1:21:10 PM | | Being a BBWSM I too understand your thoughts on this. I have been lucky enough to have found a great man. There are some great guy's out there that are happy to have a BBW-single mom. I'm finding with experience more and more men find us appealing becasue we are honest and true about the people we are. It's the attitude that others see that draw peope to you like moths to a flame. Keep smiling and being yourself and your sure to find someone as special as you. | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/3/2007 4:19:42 AM | like many have said on here you need to start to love yourself first. I am VERY confident with who I am...and I find a lot of men find that alone sexy. So begin with yourself and the rest will work itself out in time.
Also find out if there are any bbw singles dances in your area.
Good luck! | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:41:00 AM | As a fulltime single dad I just want to say it is difficult to meet the'right' person. Personally, I prefer full figured women, skinny doesn't appeal to me and I know that there are many decent guys that feel the way I do. As long as the woman is ok with herself I am ok with her !
Good luck, hope you find what you are looking for! | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:32:05 AM | >>>no no one is gonna date you love,stop going on a diet and get on one,try walking too,but keep to it,how long have you been fat,how long have ya been unhappy?so ya gonna stay like this?? for the next few years,cos lets face it ya dont get fat over night,change today be ,today<<<
I just had to comment to this one it just shows that not every one is alike in the world, I am bbw I don't know about the beautiful but I am big and I was only single one week after my husband left and I was six months pregnant the only reason I am on here now is for friends and my boyfriend and I are taking a break because he is so protective of me that I get annoyed by it,So just because you wouldn't date a bbw doesnt mean no one will heck I prefer to date a guy who is at least 5 11 it doesn't mean no one else will it just means that is my prefrence  | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/3/2007 10:05:05 AM | I am going to have to agree with so many other posters and say that it isn't all about your weight. You have to love yourself and show that you are worthy of someone's time before they will give it to you!
My advice?
Go shopping, get a hot and sexy outfit no matter what the size. Get your nails done and your hair women! ENJOY and pamper a little... then get a babysitter for the night and hit the town with some friends! Enjoy your night and your spirits will be lifted. Take this time for yourself every once in a while...I try for once a month at least because babysitters for my little crew are hard to come by but do it as you can. Your own self worth/ self esteem will rise, your stress level will lower and you will be shocked at what might come your way!!  | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:48:43 PM | I don't actively pursue dating myself, and I'm not a tiny girl and I carry that heavy title of single mom with me everywhere I go...
I wouldn't even go so far to say that you've got to "dig through all the shit out there".
Honestly girl, it's all about what you put out there...If you read to the world that you know you're fluffy and uncomfortable with it, you're gonna draw the a**holes of the male population. Yeah, it sucks to be chunky, but if you can radiate that inner beauty, you can still score a great guy...
You bring attention to you based on what you radiate...Girl, if you're radiating that "I'm a chunky single mom" you can be guaranteed that you're gonna get the "SCORE I can manipulate her" kind of guy...
I would say that you need to find yourself first before trying to date...Once you can look in the mirror and say "I'm a bombshell with an extra 20 pounds (or whatever it is)" then you're ready to let the men come to you...
That, and really, I've never had good luck with this site...But I've met really great people, and dated great people, just in going out or in a few cases, going to work...
I am a fluffy girl - I got rid of the maternity looking tops and moo-moo'ish clothes - And I work with my features to doll myself up...Despite having already large enough breasts, I still wear push up bras...And I buy girly, frilly and pretty panties...If my extra 20-30 pounds are my biggest flaw, I've taken the perspective that I'm rocking the casbah - I'm more worried about a huge pimple on my face than the fact that I can't wear some hot new tube top...
I just got out of a relationship with one of the best things to ever come into mine and my son's life...He is still (despite our break up) one of my closest, most intimate friends and we hang out often, talk almost daily and he still talks to my little guy and wants to go to the park and hang out with him...We make fun of my fluff and despite recent weight gain he still reminds me that I'm a beautiful person... | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:41:36 PM | The problem with most BBW's and some underweight women is that you tend to have low self esteem, Men that are a$$holes, jerk off and abusive /controlling tend to flock to women with low self esteem.
If you want to find a nice guy, the trick isn't to "get thin"its to learn how to love yourself, and work on building your self esteem and confidence, quite simply the more confident you are, the higher quality of men you are likely to find.
Sexiness isn't about how you look, its about your attitude, focus on that and watch the changes in your dating life
I know a few BBW's who don't have problems in meeting men, they couldnt care less if a man doesn't like them if they are that size. | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:18:30 PM | Girl, I totally know how you feel and where you are. I have been single forEVER. When I found a guy who I thought was interesting and vice - versa, he turned out to be either a freeloader, way too heavy of a drinker/pill popper, or, yes it's true a cross dresser. So I gave up!! But I know there's someone out there, as there is for you!! Keep your chin up and love yourself!!!  | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 71 | |
| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:26:11 PM | I think there are different viewpoints about dating a single parent. Some people don't care if a person is a single parent. Some people would prefer to date someone without kids, but it's not a requirement. Some people would never a date a single parent for a various reasons. If there are 2 women and one of them has kids and the other doesn't have kids. Everything else about them is the same. Personality, physical features, lifestyle etc. Many men would choose the woman without kids. In some other cases, a man could overlook the fact that she is a single mom if she matches everything else that he is looking for.
There are some men who would date and prefer BBWs. Yet I think the majority of people ( men and women ) aren't attracted to someone who is significantly overweight. If a BBW is comfortable with her weight, that's cool. If a BBW is going to complain about men not dating her due to her weight, then she should attempt to lose some weight. I think is weight is controllable in most cases.
If a man doesn't date a single parent or a BBW, it doesn't make him shallow or ignorant. Everyone has preferences. Some people don't date smokers. Some people might prefer someone from a certain religion or age range. Everyone is attracted or unattracted to certain physical attributes whether it's a certain race, height, hairstyle, body type etc. There are even some fat people who aren't attracted to other fat people. | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/4/2007 6:14:49 PM | stop whining i havent been intimate with a guy for longer than youve been single and ive been single over 3 years
the right guy will come stop worrying about them and worry about the kid
but to make things easier put yourself out there take some effort in the morning cause you never know who you will meet smile and look like everything you do is fun
live your life not live it to find a guy
ever heard the saying when you stop looking they come well stop looking just be yourself and boost your confidence and if that means dieting then do it for you not for a date
your a great person with a wonderful kid theres one guy out there you have yet to meet | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/4/2007 6:20:00 PM | Ok. I'm not a woman or overweight, but I thought I'd interject. The title is 'BBW AND single mom... so hard.' You're not alone, everyone has it hard.
I've spent the last few hours browsing these boards, and it seems like no one wins. For us guys, if we're not Brad Pitt or make 100k a year, we get no responses. You women deal with weight, or getting guys who only wanting sex. I don't think anyone has it easy. Hell, I think I'm fairly cute and despite that, I think I'm hindered. I don't believe anyone here would date me. Because women want this, or women want that. There are so many strikes against us men for things we're not, or don't have. Reading these messageboards makes me sad.
You're dealing with being bigger and having a child. Us men are dealing with our issues. We all lose.
Oh, and also, I don't see how ya'll have been single. Some of you caught my eye, I don't see how you managed to go years single.
Anyhow, it seems like everyone has something to make us a little less desirable.
Hopefully, one day we'll all find someone who will accept us exactly as we are.
I wish you all luck. | |
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.Lisa
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Joined: 8/25/2007
Msg: 74 | |
| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/4/2007 7:35:24 PM | Stop complaining and do something bout it then if you're not happy 
It's not your weight, It's your low self esteem...
Men love confidence | |
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| BBW AND single mom... so hard.
Posted: 10/5/2007 11:22:02 AM | | hi im snowflake_04254 and im in the same boat as you. so i cant say what to but maybe we can talk and see if we can help each other please feel free to message me in yahoo as snowflake_04254 hope we can help each other . hope to hear from u soon. | |
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