| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/21/2007 6:43:33 AM | Again hi LBP and lohki.You both say your very busy women.That's wonderfull i'm glad for you .By the time it took you to post/read the forum's.You could have at least read a email that someone was kind enough to send you.I have no problem with read/delete it's the people that don't even read them that i find troubling.As for anyone needing validation for their opinion.I'm not sure that's what cindy was saying at all.The pc is not the most flattering way to get your point across.Sorry to disagree with you LBP i am a Islander where ever i am.Be it here or Ontario etc....As you noted i did say different .That's exacly what i was saying only you put a certain twist to it.Different is not a bad thing it's just that different.Wouldn't it be a sad world if we were all the same?
Have a great day ladie's.
A proud Islander
peiprincess
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/21/2007 9:19:50 AM | Hey, "LOHKI" ............at least you got a chuckle out of it , glad to be able to say I was the one responsible As for "IT DOESN"T MEAN I"M RIGHT" .....A.K.A. "AN OPINION" Each to their own and I so much agree "PEIPRINCESS".....If we were all the same what a f**ked up world we would live in ! As for you being RIGHT LOHKI, again in your OPINION, you may think you're right, but in someone else's, they may think your not ! It's quite simple really..........OPINION'S........and that my friend is exactly what they are OPINIONS ! They are neither right or wrong, they are one's thought on it ! Hey PEIPRINCESS, I to am a Islander no matter where I am, that doesn't change!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ANOTHER "PROUD" ISLANDER
CINDY68
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/21/2007 5:23:12 PM | | I don't mind if I get no response..their maybe a number of reasons why I may not get one. I am not going to get bent over the idea someone has not replied to me. Especially when there are alot of others who do write back! I don't demand attention, nor do I require igknowledgement.. I don't have to get noticed, or noted. All the world can't be friendly..for example..check out some of these post for instance! Get my drift?? | |
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/21/2007 9:44:51 PM | Hi echosong.I agree with you i don't need to be validated by any man too feel i am one of a kind i know i am.But a not read deleted is offenisive to me.
All i'm saying is that a polite but no thank you would be nice.I really don't think that's unfair.As i was brought to rescept other's as i want to be rescepted .Is all i'm saying.
Like i said in early post every one is entiteled to their opinion as i am.Were all different and unique that what make's us all special in our on way.
A proud Islander and canadian.
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OHM
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Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/22/2007 2:42:37 AM | Unfortunately, there is a group of people, male and female, who use this online medium as a means of having their cyber egos stroked and little else. They join these sites in the guise of meeting someone but that's not the real reason they're here, they're here to garner attention and it's the attention they get that keeps them coming back.
That's why comon courtesy, manners etc. are tossed out the window the moment they log on. They're not looking to actually meet anyone, so in reality they have nothing to lose.
I've emailed a small number of women on this site who have viewed me after receiving the email and then deleted it unread. Luckily I don't get what has to go through someone's mind to do that, but I suspect it's got something to do with the lack of personal accountability. You can behave however you wish if that behavior is never going to be questioned.
Now, not one of the women whose behavior I found offensive in that way is planning to attend the get together Saturday. Of course they're not. In the real world when someone walks up and says hi, they can't simply look the person up and down and then turn around and disappear without acknowledging it. Here they can.
Receive. View. Delete unread. To me that's totally unacceptable behavior for one adult to exhibit towards another.
In case you haven't noticed, it's a real pet peeve of mine. So ladies, from now on at least pretend to read ther thing. Thanks. | |
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/22/2007 11:21:34 AM | I can understand how it could bruise an ego to have a message deleated or ignored. Especially since the message is being ignored by somebody the sender originally found attractive.
This blow to the ego, this feeling of rejection, not only leaves people hurt, but also frustrated and angry. So what do people do? They create threads like this one to lash out, throw insults, and rant about how rude, ignorant, stuck up, nasty, slutty, or whatever people who don't answer letters are.
Which of course is all nonsense. To assume that somebody must be an ass simply because they didn't answer YOUR message is silly and egotistical.
It may well be that the person you messaged usually answers all their messages but found yours particularly crappy/offensive/immature/etc., so decided not to answer it. Nothing wrong with this and I am sure this happens all the time.
Perhaps the person gets a lot of mail and only looks at stuff that stands out and catches his or her attention. Maybe all the angry and bitter people should revamp their profiles or work on communicating better.
It is also worth mentioning that some people do not take rejection well. Sending somebody a "not interested" letter can result in a nasty reply, or a demand for an explanation or whatever. Easier just to delete sometimes.
People need to get over themselves. | |
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OHM
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Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 34 | |
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/22/2007 11:45:34 AM | OHM your too funny LMAO.Ummm who's doing the ranting and raving newtoNFLD??If you read all post on here.Neither am i ranting or raving I am simply saying a noread/delete is offensive to me.If i can take the time to send a message.The least i expected is for the person to read it.Then if you want to deleted it .Hey for a lack of better word's no skin off my a$$.As for name calling again pl's look at all post.I believe it might surprize you.The most that has been said is some of us think it's rude.No where's does it say sl*tty,ignorant,stuck up or nasty.These word's are on your post no one else's.
As for my ego being bruised LOL.********He who anger's you conguer's you************
Have a great day.
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lohki
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Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 36 | |
| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/22/2007 1:18:42 PM |
The least i expected is
... You have no right to expect anything from strangers.
Rightfully so, if it is so offensive to you when someone deletes your mail-
Stop checking to see if they have...
Stop sending mail.
You will never understand why people delete without saying... "no thank you" and frankly I am sure we have better things to do with your lives that are more important than being annoyed with a stranger who chose to delete mail without reading it.
Expectation of a response is futile. This has nothing to do with manners or courtesy- this is all about ego and demands of validation.
The entitlement of "opinion" is over played here. It is so simple it's scary.
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/22/2007 2:20:01 PM | Who are you to tell me i have no right too expected common courtesy?????????????
The last time i checked.The only people that could tell me what to do or what i couldn't do.Was my mom and dad rest in peace both of you.
As i said in a early post.I have no need to feel validated by anyone.I know i'm special and unique.With that said i'm done on this subject.
Have a good day lohki and good luck happy I have a feeling your going to need it. | |
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/22/2007 3:05:01 PM | I really have to weigh in here. I'm guilty of not replying to emails most times. The reasons?
Well, I've sent a few "not interested" letters and got completely slammed for it. I was told that I'm stuck up, no good, and that no real man would be interested in me. Simply for saying
"no thanks".
I usually just stick to the forums and don't check my mail every day. However, I have to sign in to view the profiles and I've gotten told off for not replying every time I'm on. There are no less than 6 people who message me EVERY time I'm online.
I get a lot of messages. When I first came on POF, I got between 40-50 messages a day.... and there's no way that I'd have the time to answer them all and still get everything else done I needed. It's overwhelming to feel pressured to answer every single message every single time. It's also frustrating to feel that you have to explain your actions to every single person who demands it.
I'm always polite when I reply and sometimes guys take it to mean "try again". As well, there are some men on here who believe that ANY reply is a declaration of interest.
And my last reason is that many of the men who message me are not very interesting when it comes to emails. No picture, no info in their profile and nothing in the message but "let's chat". It's annoying to reply to someone who is just going to say "lol" or "so when can we chat?" over and over.
BTW, to any of the guys who don't understand, there are many guys in this province who simply want a peep show on cam. I've logged into my MSN, been bombarded with 20-30 conversation windows, inundated with requests to look at my cam. It's gotten so that I hardly even sign in anymore because I know if I do I'll be there for hours out of "politeness".
I just don't have the time (or the inclination anymore) to be nice to someone just because they request it. And I wouldn't take it personally if someone didn't reply to mine. There are too many reasons for it that it isn't fair to assume that someone is just an a-hole.
BTW, I've also had encounters with a few men who got really angry because I was talking to other people while I was talking to them. They felt that a woman who chatted with more than one man is a sl*t. Sometimes putting a real effort into a reply is seen as a promise of exclusivity...and I'm not kidding.
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 39 | |
| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/22/2007 6:51:21 PM | Luckily I don't get what has to go through someone's mind to do that, but I suspect it's got something to do with the lack of personal accountability.
Yesterday, here is an example of two messages I responded to because of all the people saying how rude I was because I didn't respond.
Message 1: Some guy messaged me saying he was a PhD candidate in Psychology and he had analyzed my profile and determined I was a fake and had very low self-esteem. If I was who I said I was, I wouldn't be on a dating site. He did however, wish me the best of luck in my pursuits despite my obvious downfalls. When I responded, he then responded with a typical, I really pushed your buttons.
Message 2: A guy who had he was 20 years old in his profile messaged me. This is pretty much the gist:
Him: The typical introductory email
Me: Sorry, your just too young for me
Him: No, No, No, I'm not 20 I'm actually 30. My friends all said I look 20 so that's what I put
Me: Sorry, but fibbing about your age makes things worse, not better. Bye.
Him: No, No, No, my finger just slipped that's why the age was wrong...here is my hotmail address, please add me.
Me: "No, thank you."
Him: "Y NOT? DONT U BELIEVE ME?"
I could reject this guy over and over and as long as I'm responding, the messages will continue. I don't know if I attract these types or what but its why I don't respond to a lot of messages. If your not sure if your interested or not, you might be opening up a can of worms.
I'd HAVE to be rude and mean to get rid of this guy. By not responding, it actually lets me be a nicer person. It has nothing to do with my accountability. | |
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OHM
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Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 40 | |
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/23/2007 8:20:32 AM | I don't know why women don't reply to emails I've heard rumors that they get quite a few and don't have the time, some men are just too rude, others can't take no for an answer, even had one women tell me that she had been chatting with a guy for a while, who seemed quite nice and was thinking about meeting him when all of a sudden he started asking her to do the web cam sex thing, and then cursed her when she refused. I'm sure there are many other reasons.
Myself don't respond to some e-mails because I get things like
"Hey wanna chat"
"What's up drop me a line or someting"
"Ur funy let's chat"
I'm sorry but a little more effort is required to get a response from me. | |
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/23/2007 1:02:46 PM | Much discussion of what is and is not polite here...
Some believe it is polite to respond to everyone. I agree. It shows respect and courtesy and recognition of them as a person.
But, is it polite to EXPECT it? Isn't that expectation, and the consequent behaviours it leads to disrespectful in itself?
Whenever you don't know someone you are rude when you expect something of them. If I ask someone to pass the salt and they have no arms I am obviously RUDE for expecting them to do it. What if they have Parkinson's and its embarassing for them to attempt such a move? What if they are deaf and didn't hear the request? What if they are tremendously shy and afraid to respond? What if they happen to know they have a bit of an armpit problem and they are afraid to extend their arm? What if they just don't like me? If I am expecting them to respond and do what I request, then who exactly is being rude?
If you message someone you do not know and who's life situation and history you know nothing about and expect a response, you are rude. What if your picture is the spitting image of someone who raped them when they were 12? Is your expectation of a response so reasonable? What if they really do get 50 messages a day and they really don't have time to respond. What if they are only here for forums and friends they already know and delete all anonymous messages? You don't know their situation and you are rude if you expect something from them.
The only person you can expect things of without being rude is yourself because that's the only person you know well enough to expect things from. And even then, most people get it wrong... :)
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And really, this expectation of strangers behaviour, if you never act on it, who does it hurt? It only hurts you. Even if you do act on it, it still probably only hurts you. If you want to be happy you would be wise to give it up. Its very similar to anger that way.
A bee stung my friend. The sting hurt my friend. But it killed the bee. Don't be a bee. | |
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/24/2007 9:32:16 AM | Hi dontmakecookies your so right.I have no right to expect anything from any one.Unless it's a partner or family,friend etc and that's rescept and that has to be earned on both part's.Bad choice of word's on my behalf.Sorry if i offened any one certainly not my intent.Hard to find the right word's to express yourself on a computer.Again sorry.
Have a great day ev1.
peiprincess | |
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| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/25/2007 3:15:48 AM | I don't see the problem if an e-mail does not get a response. Obviously,
if there was any interest you would get a reply, not sure why anybody is
hung up on not getting an answer, from a person who has no interest.
It's disappointing when we take the time to write and send an e-mail,
and it does not garner a reply, but it's their perogative. Look at the positive
side of not getting a response, you can say, It's them,,, not me.. LOL.. | |
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MagicA
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Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 49 | |
| is there anything wrong that women cant reply to emails..yes or no thats all u have to say
Posted: 2/25/2007 5:45:24 AM | A lot of this has to do with entitlement issues. Our society is going to hell because people believe they are entitled to everything under the sun.
You define your own world and if someone reads (or not) then deletes (or ignores) your email and you get upset about it, you might want to take a long look at yourself and wonder why such a trivial thing is upsetting you?
I get way more read/deleted than I do responses and do the same in return. I assume that the people on the other end realize that I am not interested as I realize that they aren't interested and move on with my life :P
If you think about it, aren't you better off not getting a reply? Why would you want an email from someone telling you that they don't like you or aren't interested in you because of xyz?
Experience has taught me that replying with a "no thanks" email ends up with the other persons feelings being more hurt (based on the lovely hate responses I get from every one I have sent out).
Now take your arrows out of your cupid quiver and see what happens! | |
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