| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:23:47 PM |
No, I think you've missed a critical nuance. The selfish part would be to take the drastic action of severing a relationship completely because of purely financial concerns, particularly if those are predicated on the assumption that the relationship will end within a few years.
Actually, Rhino, I think you misconstrued my original point. First, I wasn't talking about severing an existing relationship because of financial concerns, I was offering a possible reason why some people may choose not to enter into a relationship that their finances just couldn't support, or at least to their standards. I used myself as an example, simply stating that while my husband and I CAN afford to comfortably raise his daughter and a couple of future children of our own, we simply wouldn't be able to afford to raise half a dozen. Which is why I'd said, if he'd already had 4 children when I met him, then I probably would have taken a pass on starting a relationship.
Different strokes for different folks I guess. Personally, I don't see that as being selfish, I see it as being responsible about the quality of life I/we could offer that many children. Or, it might just be the difference between giving three kids a great life, while only being able to give six kids an "okay" life. What I would see as being selfish would be taking on or having more children than we could realistically afford, to be honest.
Precisely. You don't use that (impact on your financial situation) as the SOLE criterion. Which is what I said was selfish (see the all-caps "SOLELY" in the bit you quoted). Multiple times.
I don't think anybody, myself included, said that that would be their SOLE criterion for not entering a relationship, I said it was a factor to be taken into account for sure, at least for me it was. Look at it this way, have you adopted say, 16 kids yet? Why not, because you probably just can't afford to...? But wouldn't that be selfish too in a way, the way you are defining it?
I do apologize for losing my temper and calling you f'in stupid though, my bad. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:43:01 PM | | Misa, welcome to the fray, I would date you ( without financial statement) but unfortunately you are a year younger than my oldest daughter. Quirky always a pleasure:-). Rhino, your ok pal, but sweetness does have a point. Why would you date someone and form feelings to start something that would lead to financial misery. I mean if you had 2 children and she had 3, maybe 7 could live together as cheaply as apart. Would the quality of life be the same? It's cute on the Brady Bunch, but some times that reality of putting that many lives together plus finances might be a drain. Finally awaiting the final scene of "Jaws" awaiting his appearance dun dun dun dun dun dun, as he grows nearer, what wisdom will he impart tonight??? You know the words, where is Ed Mcman to say them??? Herreee's .......oh never mind...Bob | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:06:17 PM | Nah, sweetness, you just took the discussion slightly down a tangent. There are a couple of men who regularly make the financial concern their sole criterion, or at least a complete deal-killer. Johne, for one.
No worries on the f-ing stupid. I figure if someone doesn't call me stupid at least every once in a while, I'm not trying hard enough to get the point across. :P | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:27:20 PM | | i encourage men to partake in the delight of female company - the ones with kids and the ones without. I believe everyone has something to offer. I simply believe it's within my right to set relationship parameters that i'm acceptable with. knowing a woman's prerogative, I don't think it's right to involve children in the adult world of dating. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:54:12 PM | | Web that's cool. Perfect balance and smart. The kids shouldn't be involved in dating. Your dating her, not her kids. If something develops, things move along in a few months, if you both see it going somewhere then you meet the kids. If not, it's just dating, so long as both of you realize that. I would hope at your age, she would come to realize, men WILL date women just to have a good time. It doesn't always have to go somewhere.Bob | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:14:13 AM |
Nah, sweetness, you just took the discussion slightly down a tangent
I had to...some of these are good threads, but they get mucked up by the *ahem* same poster constantly throwing in the same gobbledy-gook so I'd hoped to maybe steer the conversation away from him, was all.  | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:26:29 AM | What does one do though when they have had too many bad experiences dating single moms? I now aviod dating them...some single mom's need to understand a few spoil it for others.
You can date who you want but respect the rights of those to choose to date who they want (or not date who they do not want.)
No one should be trying to move up in the world by dating..those that date within their class great..those that try to date up the socio-ecomonic chain are the gold diggers. I have met far too many of those who just happen to have been single with young children. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:36:48 AM | One important point though John these "bad apples" that you speak, you do realize that they were once single without kids?
If I was a betting man I would suspect that you would see the selfish behaviour from these same women when they were single, just in a different manner. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:52:37 AM | ^^^ I agree completely! Users are users, no matter if they have zero children, 3 children, or 17.5 children.
What does one do though when they have had too many bad experiences dating single moms?
Johne, nobody is forcing you to date single mothers. The easy answer for you would be, just stop dating single mothers, period. End of story. But using your reasoning, since I've only ever dated men, does that mean because I've had my share of shytty relationships in the past with some men, that I should have just avoided men entirely after that? Since I was never interested in dating women, wouldn't that be cutting my nose off to spite my face? | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 9:29:23 AM |
some single mom's need to understand a few spoil it for others
Johne is that your favourite sentence? | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 9:34:05 AM | | Johne, how about msg # 321. That was to you!! Any answers? Or are you going to just ignore it? You just want to keep posting the same garbage 100 more times. ANSWER THE QUESTIONS. Why don't you take your time and resources and go have that family? Instead of being redundant and obtuse on here day and night. We know, we know, canadian laws blah blah blah. we know you don't want to date blah blah we know they tried to get your money blah blah blah. When or how does any of this being discussed have any bearing on your present life? You don't date them anymore, you can't change the laws, you don't make any new points, you don't do anything constructive. You DO insult these women, you do repeat yourself over and over, you DO LIE. Why don't you DO us a favor and move on. Bob | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 9:57:27 AM |
No one should be trying to move up in the world by dating..those that date within their class great..those that try to date up the socio-ecomonic chain are the gold diggers.
Johne – being a single parent does not define ones “socio-economic” class any more than having a disability would. But if that’s your line of thinking, then the question must be asked…Do you only date those with physical disabilities? | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:56:30 AM | responding to Bob and love laughter:
First Bob I will post in these forums whenever single parents ask why single people will not date them. I wish the laws were different but they are not. I write letters to make my feeling known to get politicians ending a form letter telling me what the law is.
Love laughter:
By socio economic status that means the tax/income bracket you fall into. I have met a fe women who told me they live in givernment housing projects because they do not make enough to support their children without the help of government subsidized housing. Trying to date their way to a house, car and a better life is called gold digging and some single mothers do it..as do other women as well ut I have met more single moms willing to do it then single women without children.
I have dated women with disabuilities in the past. When I date a women whio is a millionaire you can say I am gold digging. I mostly date women who make nearly as much as I do now. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:06:02 PM | | i believe a single mother is more likely to be a gold digger, what woman wouldn't use the gifts god gave them to make sure their children's needs are met? my mom did it. my ex-wife continues to do it. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:23:56 PM | | Gold diggers eh? "Most women are one man away from welfare" is a quote that always keeps me grounded. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:39:21 PM | | Not strictly true... I think that alot of single mothers feel hard done by. Not only from the state but from the father of their children. I think that their state of mind is bent towards looking for all the bad points in men (and by default transferring their ex's behaviour onto their new men, even if they have done nothing wrong). I must just add that not all single mothers are like this, as all men are not like single mothers' ex's. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:40:27 PM | ^^^^^^^^So if you can't find a man you will have to go to welfare???? I rest my case!!!
Or if you mean you do not need a man..great then you don't need to date and those who start thee threads can stop doing so!!! | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:44:32 PM | johne I would never call anyone stupid but I will think it.
It means choosing the wrong man, can set you back.
Christ, you are a test at my new found want to be a better person. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:54:42 PM | | and the wrong single mom can set a man back finincially for years to come. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 2:26:44 PM | | Johne, WTF, why you spew such hatred? Why do you care who they date? If you meet someone of better circumstances, are you saying someone CAN'T date them. I guess in your eyes slavery was OK too. They are not in human bondage, they are dating. Who the he11 are you to tell anybody who to date? You wouldn't know what's in a single woman's mind or heart. Your an ignorant, bigotted fool. You make sweeping generalities and accustions with no basis. Suppose I say only gold digging women can date biggoted a$$holes who live in Canada and drive a blue truck with an idiotic smile on their face? Will that make it so? Aside from this what gives you or any human being the right to talk down to another. Do you honestly beleive that whatever nonsense comes out of that pea sized brain means anything other than a minor annoyance to these women. All you do is inflame people and detract from a meaningful discussion people try to have. bob | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:22:30 PM |
and the wrong single mom can set a man back finincially for years to come.
ANY WOMEN has the ability to do that, regardless if she has kids or not, if the man allows it to happen to him. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:43:38 PM | Johnny boy, you are a joy and delight to read.
All men should stand and applaud you because in comparison to you there's many a frog who's looking like a prince right now.
Have you thought about karma as you go round and over all the women that did you wrong. I'd say some yoga could fix you up a treat. A little bit of quiet time to focus on you and listen to the peace within ( as opposed to the voices that clearly talk to you on a daily basis) | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:03:34 PM | ":ANY WOMEN has the ability to do that, regardless if she has kids or not, if the man allows it to happen to him. "
Yes any woman has that ability. But as I have said in this or another thread with regards to the child support laws. The rights of the child to child support cannot be bargained away in any shape, form or contract.
So, yes a single woman can ruin a man financially but he can protect himself, but the law is absolute when it comes to child support. You live them and meet the criteria, you pay. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:05:50 PM | | very true soccer sweep. I do not spread hatred at all..I am not bigotted but I do base my dating policy on reducing my financial liability. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:13:17 PM | So what, who cares, don't date them Johne leave, be gone, vamoose,adios, scram. Make like a tree and leaf. You will never have financial liability, you never leave the computer, how are going to meet them? You don't have a policy, YOU DON"T DATE!!!!! You talk a big game but its all in your head. Take your lies, bigotry, fantasies, time and resources and go have that family LOL. Bob
PS check out Johne's latest lie check "are US males being taken for granted" page 92 | |
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