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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 426 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 4:58:13 PM | "Unlike you, my intention was not to hurt you. I was simply answering your question. She is more than likely single because of all the men like you in the world. Unlike you may think, we dont have to settle. And quite frankly, we wont."
lol then the "single mom dating woes" threads will continue. You won't settle what makes you think men should? like rock_hunter said HE decides whether you're worth it not you.
Please point out where I said anything negative about single mothers. I also never said anything about single mothers having to "settle" Seems to me you're looking for a fight. not surprised though | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 5:02:45 PM | tell me Zain, why is that a single mother lists her accomplishments and your response is "why are you single then?"
Seems to me that is confrontational if you ask me. I wont sit here and tell you what I've accomplished with my life, but let's just say when you said it to her, you said it to me, and I am single because I choose to be right now.
Hang On,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Okay, I have my hater blockers on - go ahead and get your last word in now. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 428 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 5:05:29 PM | What a single mom gas accomplished is irrelevant we are not talking about that. She may be a great mom, have a great career and so fourth that doesn't mean she'll make a great girlfriend. What can you provide to a man that a childless woman can't?
I'm not saying single moms are bad, I'm saying they are at a disadvantage. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 5:34:17 PM |
I'm not saying single moms are bad, I'm saying they are at a disadvantage.
Of course they are at a disadvantage, but the truth hurts so they don't want to hear that. Single mothers can find guys, but they must offer something extra (typically be better looking) to offset their disadvantages. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 5:37:08 PM | ^^^^^^^
Zain, you make is sound like love is the same thing as a material item or sex. What can I provide to a man that a childless woman can't? Me. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 5:45:20 PM |
Of course they are at a disadvantage, but the truth hurts so they don't want to hear that.
No, honey, the truth doesn't hurt. I love my kids, I dont feel sorry for myself and I would not change my "disadvantage" for anything. We dont want to hear it because when you say it you act like you are telling us something we dont already know. There is no need for you to rub it in. Sure, my dating pool is smaller, but I am okay with that. There are worst things in life to be concerned about, like our economy, the bail-outs, gas prices, education, the stock market, crime, religion, etc. I surely don't look at having a smaller dating pool a disadvantage. Just because I have kids doesnt mean I'm throwing in the towel, which you continually sound like you suggest single moms do.
I swear before God right now, you could not pay me enough to switch places with you. You see me as disadvantaged? I see being young, ignorant, arrogant with absolutely no clue about my future or when I will get to hold one of my own babies a total disadvantage.
EDIT:
To Kelly and Zain and the others who constantly want to remind us of our "disadvantages" and our abilty to not have "choices" etc, I have one question for you.
Would you go into a forum for say the blind and talk to them like this? They are disadvantaged too right? How about the deaf? Black people? Asains? Caucasians? Hispanics? Any race that is considered a "minority" in this world? Would you going dumping salt into wounds in those forums? How about War Veterans with no legs? Single Gay people? Would you ride into those forums on your high horses being prejudice there?
Please, I would like to know, would you do that? | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 6:08:13 PM |
I swear before God right now, you could not pay me enough to switch places with you... I see being young, ignorant, arrogant with absolutely no clue about my future or when I will get to hold one of my own babies a total disadvantage.
You may not switch places, but why behave in a similar manner? How do you set yourself apart by retaliating with more ridiculous rhetoric meant only to incite? Knee-jerk reactions to comments you find offensive don't really resolve anything. Do you really expect to enlighten anybody by insulting them back? | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 6:16:20 PM | Lonestar I admit that is not likely to be the case. However, it is likely that a pretty 19 year old single mom is going to want the type of young man (good looking, athletic, smart, educated, with an above average income) I am interested in.
That's true. It's all a matter of what you have to offer. Of course, some men simply don't like children, or have no desire to be involved with anyone else's children - in those cases, it doesn't matter what you bring to the table.
But honestly, unless you're desperate, it's not that big of a deal. There's a high remarriage rate in the US - most people find someone eventually.
My mother divorced my father when I was three months old, and she never had a problem in the high quality man-department, but she's attractive, has a good personality, she's educated, and self-sufficient. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 6:28:07 PM | fun tall... wow..... you obviously have no children and have never had anyone that had to rely 100% on you for their care and well being. Perhaps you have dated a single mom who didn't want to leave their comfort zone...whatever you mean by that. I for one am a single mom who is very protective of my daughter because nobody else can be. I am not one of those women who bring random guys around her child, because it isn't fair to the child. It takes a mature man to be able to date a single mom and understand that the child has to come first because that child relies on their parent for everything. That is not to say that a man I date and eventually marry cannot or willnot become a priority in my life. He would just be a different type of priority. If a man doesn't want to date a single mom then fine, but don't put them down until you walk in their shoes...
To the poster saying we single mom's are on welfare and are just looking for a financial backer they need to open their eyes and get real.
To posters saying an baby's father is always going to cause drama because they are an ex.. get a clue. Even a woman who is not a single mom could have an ex that would cause drama, so don't place that stigma only on single moms.
I for one have a decent parenting relationship with my daughter's father, but NEVER want to get back with him. He's an ex for a reason. A man looking at dating a single mom needs to remember 2 things. 1:you have to be flexible because things can happen with the kids that can cause plans to change. 2:don't always think the woman is looking for a father or father-figure for her child.
ok, end of single mom rant. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 6:29:19 PM |
But honestly, unless you're desperate, it's not that big of a deal. There's a high remarriage rate in the US - most people find someone eventually.
My mother divorced my father when I was three months old, and she never had a problem in the high quality man-department, but she's attractive, has a good personality, she's educated, and self-sufficient.
My old best friend in a previous state just had her 4th baby. She doesn't work, she doesnt have a good education, she comes from a hard life, but she is funny, loving and awesome to be around, I love her. Now, that girl has got herself a GREAT guy. He is sweet, loving, great with her kids, he works hard, he treats her soooo good, he's a great guy. If she can find happiness, so can I.
AND, my mom married my "adoptive" dad when I was six. So, she was a single mom. She had my following her around being a "disadvantage" to her and she met my dad. Right after they got married, he went into a courtroom and took an oath and adopted me. They went on to have my brother and my sister. They just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary in Aruba. They have a gorgous house that they both contribute equally to. They are enjoying grandkids now. So, there are fairy tale endings for single parents too. We all want one thing, everlasting love. Now, as long as I dont pick an a-hole like I did last time, I know I will find a true love one day. In the meantime, I work, I raise my kids, I enjoy the beaches, theme parks, water parks, friends and the occasional night out. My life is fine.
I dont say these things to try to retaliate, I say them because when a single parent comes into these forums for support (just like an al-anon group, or any support group) and they have to constantly read these horrid things from non-parents, I feel that I have the right to say my opinion on the matter.
When one of these NON-PARENTS (in the single parents forum) can tell me that they know the feeling of joy that comes with being a parent, maybe then I will have a little more respect for them (in the single parents forum).
Good night. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 6:32:15 PM | OK PEOPLE,
I DIDN'T READ THE WHO,E THREAD JUST CAUSE ITS REALLY LONG.
WHY IS EVERYBODY TALKING ABOUT 'POOR SINGLE MOMS'
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE INCONSIDERATE ***holeS WHO LEFT US HIGH AND DRY!!!! JUST BECAUSE THEY DID NOT REALIZE THE EFFORT THEY REALLY HAD TO PUT IN TO RAISE A CHILD.
IF YOU ASK ME , THESE WOMEN HAVE TO DEAL WITH ENOUGH WHY PUT THEM DOWN AND BLAME THEM. THEY ARE NOT TO BLAME. I AM NOT SAYING THAT SOME RELATIONSHIPS JUST DIDNT NEED TO BE ABSOLVED BECAUSE OF SERIOUS DIFFERENCES. BUT COME ON HERE, TO HOLD A WOMEN IN SUCH A TOUGH POSITION RESPONSIBLE? LIKE THEY WANTED TO SPEND EVERY WAKING MINUTE DOING EVERYTHING ELSE FOR THEIR CHILDREN AND NOT GETTING A DAMN THING, NOT EVEN A FLIPPIN THANK YOU.
THE YOUNG SINGLE MOMS, YEAH I HAVE A BIT OF BEEF WITH, GET SOME EDUCATION AND DONT GIVE AND COP SOME EXCUSE BOUT 'IM A SINGLE MOTHER'
IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THE HATERS ARE FROM RICH WEALTHY SO CALLED NO DIVORCING FAMILIES. MAYBE YOU CHECK OUT THE COBWEBS AND PERHAPS YOU'LL PROBAABLY SEE THAT THINGS ARE NOT SO PERFECT AFTER ALL. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 7:29:20 PM |
If that's the case why are you still single?
Why are YOU single? Why is ANYONE on this site single?
Not as clever as you think you are, buddy. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 9:22:51 PM | | Lonestarstar, that was so great. You hit it right on the head. In every post that I have ever read of Zain's, he has been such a nasty, negative person that hates women. If I was the most beautiful, young, single and successful woman around or the most desparate, I would not want to date that guy. I am sure that others feel the same and that is why he is still single. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 9:43:54 PM | Hey redmamma,
Do you own your home or does the bank?
Do you get child support?
Do you know what your kids want out of life?
Were you not willing to settle or not willing to compromise?
next time you are in church, stop the "activeness" sit down and read the bible and see what life is really about.
I hope perhaps you were just posting in Anger of the sweeping generalization made by the one date he had with a single mother
PS I married a single mother so I have a lot of insight on the subject
:modhammer: | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/11/2009 9:53:46 PM | | forget all that mess i love me a single mom i rather date a single mom then some woman who still doesnt realize that kids brings the best out in you. Most single moms are responsible mature and fun and understand what im talking about when i say Patrick Starfish is nuts and i love pixar movies | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:18:51 AM | Would you go into a forum for say the blind and talk to them like this? They are disadvantaged too right? How about the deaf? Black people? Asains? Caucasians? Hispanics? Any race that is considered a "minority" in this world? Would you going dumping salt into wounds in those forums? How about War Veterans with no legs? Single Gay people? Would you ride into those forums on your high horses being prejudice there?
Please, I would like to know, would you do that?
If the blind keeps asking: "Why won't they give me a drivers license? I don't understand it!!! They're jerks, that's the only possible explanation!!!"
Yes, I would. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:28:10 AM | Would you go into a forum for say the blind and talk to them like this? They are disadvantaged too right? How about the deaf? Black people? Asains? Caucasians? Hispanics? Any race that is considered a "minority" in this world? Would you going dumping salt into wounds in those forums? How about War Veterans with no legs? Single Gay people?
Footballmom77 I ignore you attacks because like you admit, you don't want the truth. However, in this case, perhaps you will be receptive to a little education since it is obvious that you have not read and understood the rules. First you mistake a forum for a group. POF is not a single group such as scientists, the deaf, or a race. POF has a number of different forums which are open to everyone; not to any specific group.
I sometimes post in the Science forum, but that doesn't mean I'm a scientist. The Science forum does not belong to scientists nor does the Single Parent forum belong to single parents. If you would feel more comfortable in a group of single parents, I suggest you avoid the POF forums and join 'Parents Without Partners.'
I often post in the Single parent forum because it is a major social issue that I need to be aware of. Most people in prison, most drug addicts, and most teenage mothers are from single parent homes. Where I can provide advice and information based on text books and scientific studies, I am willing to do so.
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It's all a matter of what you have to offer. *** There's a high remarriage rate in the US - most people find someone eventually.
LonestarStar that is true, but there is a difference between teenage single mothers and divorced single parents age thirty. Most teenage single mothers are not the cream of the crop. However, far more likely than not, divorced mothers of thirty and above are the cream of single women near their age. Of course there are exceptions, but typically single women thirty and above that have never been married are the ones that most desirable men pass on. If all things were equal, men in their thirties to low forties might prefer women without children. However, most men will still choose quality and good looks, even if she is a single mom. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 5:42:31 AM |
I often post in the Single parent forum because it is a major social issue that I need to be aware of.
So, you are saying that you are here to get educated? What are you trying to learn? How single parents react to your "telling us all how it is?". Get a life.
ROCK HUNTER:
Please point out one place where I complain about my life, or the fact that I am single mom. And where I ask for pity or anything for that matter.
Thanks. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 6:54:49 AM |
ROCK HUNTER:
Please point out one place where I complain about my life, or the fact that I am single mom. And where I ask for pity or anything for that matter.
Thanks.
Dear footballmom, whether you believe it or not, this and many other similar threads are not only about you, not they are only about your life, nor only about you as a single mom. Therefore, don't use "your" life as a proof that nobody else is doing it.
Point out one place? Well, besides the truckload of "Why men won't date me", "men who won't date single moms are jerks", and "why men can't understand how amazing I am" threads, I don't have any place to point it out. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 8:11:42 AM | Kelly;
What I find interesting about these and other threads like "why won't men date single mothers" etc. is the unintended social consequences of laws that have good intentions at first but then get applied more broadly as the lawyers get a hold of it. I'm speaking of course of the laws having step parents pay child support. Good law for the specific cases it was intended for, step father and mother agree that she is going to stay home to raise the kids, mutual decision, divorce then child support.
So, the unintended social consequence of this law is that it has effected a change in attitude towards single mothers. Now we have to stop and say, well what if the relationship breaks down and I am either on the hook for part of the child support since the bio father is paying or on the hook for all of it if the bio father is not paying at all.
What we here is "I would never do that", but the law is still there and unless people can see into the future and what their economic situation may be at that time, then "I would never do that" could turn into "how am I going to be able afford to live in these economic times". | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 10:20:47 AM | | did anyone notice that the original poster of this thread happens to be a married female with kids? | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 11:59:32 AM |
Dear footballmom, whether you believe it or not, this and many other similar threads are not only about you, not they are only about your life, nor only about you as a single mom. Therefore, don't use "your" life as a proof that nobody else is doing it.
Point out one place? Well, besides the truckload of "Why men won't date me", "men who won't date single moms are jerks", and "why men can't understand how amazing I am" threads, I don't have any place to point it out.
Thank you. You just said that not all single moms are like these threads say. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:03:40 PM |
I'm speaking of course of the laws having step parents pay child support. Good law for the specific cases it was intended for, step father and mother agree that she is going to stay home to raise the kids, mutual decision, divorce then child support.
Well, here's the deal. And I'm sure you know this SoccerSweep, these laws just dont apply in the US, so that reasoning is not legit here. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 450 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:11:59 PM | "Why are YOU single? Why is ANYONE on this site single?
Not as clever as you think you are, buddy."
I wasn't trying to be clever. I just find it funny when people boost about what great catches they are and how they have no problem getting a date it makes me wonder why they would waste time on internet dating when it's so easy for them to get a date by just going outside.
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