| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 1:01:40 PM | ^^^
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 2:12:25 PM | "Well, here's the deal. And I'm sure you know this SoccerSweep, these laws just dont apply in the US, so that reasoning is not legit here"
I don't recall the number of states but I think it was around 20 in the US that have the same type of law for step parents. Not just in Canada. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 2:46:00 PM | i just think people are too quick to judge and everyone is entitled to an opinion that said yeh and good on all men out there bringing there children out themselves. its not easy and dating when you have a family is as hard as each of you make it,
its about give and take (IS IT NOT) any how thats wot i think louisax | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 454 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 2:56:55 PM | | here is a tip for you footballmom77, next time you want to post something but it's too short you might want to go back and edit and delete all the random letters you made so the post could be long enough. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 3:03:24 PM |
here is a tip for you footballmom77, next time you want to post something but it's too short you might want to go back and edit and delete all the random letters you made so the post could be long enough.
And the point of you telling me this is why? Is this a subtle hint that I broke some type of forum rule and I left evidence behind.
Do me a favor and stop talking to me. I'm not interested in you, sorry. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 3:16:29 PM | | I don't care if they have kids or not. I don't care if they have several, either. I dated a girl once who had 3 and one on the way. And I dated another girl who had 2. Some girls just think certain guys aren't ready for kids, or don't want to be around them, which is nonsense. Most guys are cool about it and like kids so I don't see what the big deal is. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 4:09:09 PM | I heard a radio call in today that really wowed me, and scared my buddy off a single mother.
A lady had been calling into the station for a few weeks, talking to the male daytime dj, well he was interested in meeting her and taking her out for dinner/drinks, and she popped up with "i need to ask you something serious before we meet".
;how much money do you make? because you gotta make a lot of money to be able to take care of me and my kids. I hope dj'ing pays you well."
Ge laughed hysterically, cancelled heir date, and hung up.
The funniest part, he played it on the air, and broadcasted it as a "warning to the guys about single moms."
And he makes very good money, just thought her audacity was absurd.
Nice that this random radio caller just gave us a bad name. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 4:22:57 PM | if the shoe fits?
But heck........I have no problem with the question if I can ask it also? | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 4:51:47 PM | Zain
I get your thought process, but really...people have dating handicaps that aren't necessarily innate flaws.
Some people don't meet many people in their daily lives for a myriad of reasons. I personally spend the majority of my life at school and at home with my kids. Meeting my current boyfriend was a complete fluke. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 460 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 7:33:32 PM | "Do me a favor and stop talking to me. I'm not interested in you, sorry."
lol I'm heartbroken!
I don't recall asking if you were interested in me you assume any guy who shows you any type of attention (especially in a forum) is interested in you? nice dating approach there.
trust me you're not exactly "my type" either.
I'll ignore your posts from now on.
"Most guys are cool about it and like kids so I don't see what the big deal is."
If that was true these types of threads would not exsist.
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/12/2009 8:56:15 PM |
I don't recall asking if you were interested in me you assume any guy who shows you any type of attention (especially in a forum) is interested in you? nice dating approach there.
LOL, you took me seriously. Did it ever occur to you that I could be here only for the forums?
And yes, please ignore my posts. There really is nothing that you and I would ever have in common enough to actually need to discuss it. You have your beliefs, I have mine. End of conversation.
Some people don't meet many people in their daily lives for a myriad of reasons. I personally spend the majority of my life at school and at home with my kids. Meeting my current boyfriend was a complete fluke.
Good point, I agree. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/13/2009 12:08:33 PM |
"Most guys are cool about it and like kids so I don't see what the big deal is."
If that was true these types of threads would not exsist.
Not true.
People who aren't satisfied with their dating pool are going to complain, and they will more than likely ignore the things about them that cause the opposite sex to run and hide.
If some of the people who complain about men and women running from their kids were childless, I'm sure they'd be in another forum whining about something.
"Why don't men date blondes?"
People don't like to say, what is it about my personality that's making it hard for me to sustain a healthy relationship?
Obviously some men just don't date single mothers, but I haven't come across any more of them than men with other typical standards. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 463 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/13/2009 6:03:45 PM | ^^^^
My point is to say "most guys" have no problem with single mothers is pushing it. These "why don't guys like single moms" threads are just as redundant as these "why don't girls like short guys" threads. The fact is men obviously do have problems with getting involved with single mothers and it's certainly alot more then "some men" if it wasn't you wouldn't see dozens of threads regarding the topic. Yes people do whine however when you have so many people whinning about the same thing do you automatically assume every single one of those whinners dating woes is something else and not their dating handicap they are whinning about? You ever think MAYBE the fact that they are short, fat, ugly, a single mom etc. might actually have a little something to do with it?
I've said it before being a single mom does not make someone undatable or a loser etc. However the problem is when these women think they are somehow entitled and they "deserve" whatever it is they want just because THEY believe they are a good catch. Being a good mom and being a good girlfriend are not synonymous. and yes men have standards and priorities to. Many men don't want to accept another child as their own many men do want to have their own families etc. "I deserve happiness!" they all say my question is how? what exactly have you done to deserve it?
I use to be the same way when it came to my height however I know now that because I'm on the short side I may have to work harder and get a woman's attention. and that I'm not going to get anywhere by saying that girls who are not attracted to date short guys are stupid or b*tches etc. and no I don't derserve shit and neither do these single moms complaining. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:10:21 PM | i agree what some have post here and to say the post above is correct what he has said but theres to much hassles and the drama goes with it i would date a single mum were to open about having more kids in future but i know alot of woman here dont want anymore and that would be hard for themt to date and the chancs are guys will pass them by cause there alot of guys out there want a family of there own theres been post saying boys need a father period cause the guy going to run there was a post a woman with 8 kids and says where are the man and she says they zain has it correct in many ways thats why guys will pass them by cause they have no intrest in single mums | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/13/2009 10:16:37 PM | | I thought he was raised by a single mother, I never heard anything about grandparents..... time to use the googles I guess :-) | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/13/2009 10:21:55 PM | My personal opinion, which I'm entitled to, is that it's totally up to a guy as to what his preference is.
I'm a single mother of 2 children. I'm successful in more than one way. I've been very blessed...thank God!
However, if a man chooses to not read my profile or doesn't try to get to know me because I have kids, that's on him. I look at it as his lost, not mine.
I can't knock a man that chooses to skip over me because of my kids. When I was younger I preferred men that didn't have children. I felt that it wasn't fair to me, since I was coming to the table without kids, I felt that he should too. Even now, I have 2 kids and I don't want to date a man that has way more kids than me. Am I wrong for that? Let me answer that question...NO I AM NOT!
I came across profiles of guys that I think would be great for me as well as me for them, but they specify they don't want a woman with kids. In the past, I'd let it get to me and sometimes I'd find it insulting, but at the end of the day I know that I'm a great mother, a God-fearing good woman, and I have so much to offer the "right" man. Obviously the man that excluded me before he even got to know me, wasn't the right one for me and that's okay. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/13/2009 11:15:24 PM | | Faithin09, thank you for the post. I feel the exact same way, except I think I'd like to meet someone that does have a kid or two...... | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/14/2009 12:21:38 AM | I get what you're saying Zain.
Nobody can demand that anyone be with them.
I never once thought i "deserved", or was entitled to anything to anyone, and have been very lucky in the romance dept. I was with the most amazing man in the universe, and bless him we lost him to diabetic problems and renal failure and some hospiatal staff incompetencies, but i did find true love as a single mom.
And it was when i was least expecting it. When romance was the farthest thing on my mind, it walked into my life.
So what i hear you saying is, what does the woman/single mother bring to the table as a woman? I get it.
I tried dating single dads before.
I actually prefer childless men over the dads. (Though i really try to look at the person not the parental status. They are less whiny and dont have that "im a single parent gimme that happiness im entitled to" BS.
And about being short, dont sweat it. My co-worker is my height (5'3), has an awesome outgoing enthusiastic about life attitude, and when he DJ's the Hawaiin tropic pageants, he has the tanning oil models falling all over him. (Same guy that was fixin to start dating a single mom until she called him at work with a last minute question of "how much money did he make, cuz he had to be able to take care of her and her kids." And she asked on the air, so im sure the local men here are all just dying to date single moms now, lmao!
Oppurtune time to play Kanye Wests "Goldigger" it was.
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/14/2009 3:21:53 AM | | u r an idiot and don't know any single mums do u? I am a single mum, not by choice either. I was in an abusive realationship and was not gonna allow my children to think that that was a way to live. yes! I am on a pension, but i am raising 5 children with no dad. I have completed a degree in Aged Care and am now doing Cert 3 in Hospitality. We are not all boring. I have had a great time raising my children. Yes we don't have much but it's the love that counts for nothing. Single mum's are the riches women in the world and you my dear friend are an idiot who probably has no goals urself. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 471 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/14/2009 1:35:08 PM | "Raising a child(a gift from God) is an awesome responsibility..Most anyone who either chooses or is left to do this job on their own??? IS USUALLY A PRETTY EXCEPTIONAL PERSON"
Perhaps you are an exceptional PARENT however that does make you an exceptional person.
"It's a job that requires crazy amounts of patience,tons of love,caring,nurturing and UNSELFISHNESS...we are raising a new member of society ultimately"
Yes being a parent does require lots of patience, love, unselfishless etc However it's totally unfair to put that on somebody else. and think that somehow makes you more desirable them a childless women and you somehow deserve that dream guy of yours more then she does. This is more entitlement BS Yeah you may be a good parent. so what? what does do for him? Why should he accept your child as his? (and if he does he is going to have no say in how that child is raised that he is helping to support he'll always be second in your life and he'll pretty much be a stranger in his own home) Why should he make those sacrifices? Tell me, what are you going to do for him? (and NO I'm not talking about sex) What makes you worth it? I'm sorry but being a good parent just isn't enough. neither is the fact that you are "raising a new member of society" I have more respect for people who are responsible and know what's best for them. Then someone who has a child and then all of a sudden thinks they are some sort of martyr and that they deserve special treatment over someone who hasn't had any children. That is complete nonsense.
"rest assured there are a lot of women with or without kids wouldn't give either one of you the time of day.."
Is that suppose to hurt me? if you're going to resort to insults and ad hominems please be a little more original.
"AND HOW THE HELL? DOES HAPPINESS HAVE TO BE DESERVED"
Happiness is something that must be obtained. You need to go out and get it and not expect it to come to you and yes you might have to work for it.
"geesus..you were a child once too? was your dad always around? What if God forbid he wasn't for any reason??? your mother doesn't deserve happiness? with anyone else?"
Nope.
If she wanted happiness (in the romance area) it's up to her to find it work for it and show a guy that she really is worth it and she's willing to make him as much of a priority as her child. She is not going to get it simply because she "deserves it" and she certainly isn't going to get it by bashing guys who don't want to date her.
"The whole 'deserve/entitlement' are words you are projecting onto a single mom who is simply saying .. the same thing you are..That they and /or I am a separate entity from my child,whom I I ensure happiness to daily (HOPEFULLY) we sacrifice a lot of our tim e doing this and we also need/deserve happiness to be able to be a woman who CAN be a girlfriend/wife, because we DO have a sense of self beyond our children..k?"
Just because you are saying that, doesn't mean all single moms are saying that. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/14/2009 2:18:33 PM | Zain.....
You said:
Perhaps you are an exceptional PARENT however that does make you an exceptional person.
I think: that it usually takes a good person to be a truly good parent.
You said:
Yes being a parent does require lots of patience, love, unselfishless etc However it's totally unfair to put that on somebody else. and think that somehow makes you more desirable them a childless women and you somehow deserve that dream guy of yours more then she does.
I think: I completely agree with you, in that a woman with a child isn't more deserving of a "dream guy" based on the fact that she raises a child alone...if that's what you meant.
You said:
This is more entitlement BS Yeah you may be a good parent. so what? what does do for him? Why should he accept your child as his? (and if he does he is going to have no say in how that child is raised that he is helping to support he'll always be second in your life and he'll pretty much be a stranger in his own home) Why should he make those sacrifices? Tell me, what are you going to do for him? (and NO I'm not talking about sex) What makes you worth it? I'm sorry but being a good parent just isn't enough.
I think: that of course being a good parent doesn't align itself with being a good "partner". I think that if a man truly loved a woman he wouldn't necessarily see supporting her position as a parent as a 'sacrifice.'?
You said:
I have more respect for people who are responsible and know what's best for them. Then someone who has a child and then all of a sudden thinks they are some sort of martyr and that they deserve special treatment over someone who hasn't had any children. That is complete nonsense.
I think: that many single parents 'are' responsible and know what's best for them. But of course being a single parent doesn't deem 'special treatment', and not all single parents believe they are martyrs.
You said:
Happiness is something that must be obtained. You need to go out and get it and not expect it to come to you and yes you might have to work for it.
I think: that I disagree somewhat with this statement. I think that far too few people allow happiness to come to them. Happiness is a state of mind.....it means something different to everyone.
You said:
If she wanted happiness (in the romance area) it's up to her to find it work for it and show a guy that she really is worth it and she's willing to make him as much of a priority as her child. She is not going to get it simply because she "deserves it" and she certainly isn't going to get it by bashing guys who don't want to date her.
I think: that although no single parent should ever 'bash' someone for refusing to date them on the grounds of their parenthood it shouldn't necessarily equate to twice the work of a singleton either. And it's doubtful that anyone is going to consistently make a partner the same level of priority as their own child/family. There's a reason why all forms state children as "dependants". If a partner 'became' family (ie marriage), than it's my belief that all members of the family should have their needs met/be a priority as individuals. Some may need it more at certain times, others less.....
You said:
Just because you are saying that, doesn't mean all single moms are saying that
And I couldn't agree more! | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/14/2009 2:29:58 PM | ^^^
Why do you care if they aren't all saying what footballmom is saying? Is there a whiny single mother circle that meets in your living room every week or something?
If there's nothing more to your terribly belabored point, maybe you should consider it * made*
The fact is, I can't say how many men won't date single moms because, when I come in contact with a man he reacts to me as an individual. Not as a member of the single mom community. And the same goes for every other single parent, which is why we all have such different experiences.
That's the great thing about life - like you said, we make our OWN happiness. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 474 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/14/2009 3:25:02 PM | "I think: that it usually takes a good person to be a truly good parent. "
I don't, you could be a good parent and still be a lousy spouse, a lousy, in law, a lousy sibling, and a person who's company most people don't enjoy.
"that of course being a good parent doesn't align itself with being a good "partner". I think that if a man truly loved a woman he wouldn't necessarily see supporting her position as a parent as a 'sacrifice.'?"
"If you truly love me you'll do this" sorry but where I come from we call that emotional blackmail.
" I disagree somewhat with this statement. I think that far too few people allow happiness to come to them. Happiness is a state of mind.....it means something different to everyone. "
I believe happiness is not something anybody deserves or is entitled to They need to find a way to obtain it whether it's from within or through accomplishments, whatever It's simply not something that just comes to you because you believe you should have it.
"I think: that many single parents 'are' responsible and know what's best for them. But of course being a single parent doesn't deem 'special treatment', and not all single parents believe they are martyrs. "
When I hear statements like "I'll have more respect for these people when they become parents" and "a child is a gift and we are raising them all by ourseelves so we deserve it! " Sorry that's what it sounds like to me. that THEY are somehow more deserving and better more responsible people then those who don't have kids because they sacrificed soooo much gimme a break.
"that although no single parent should ever 'bash' someone for refusing to date them on the grounds of their parenthood it shouldn't necessarily equate to twice the work of a singleton either. And it's doubtful that anyone is going to consistently make a partner the same level of priority as their own child/family. There's a reason why all forms state children as "dependants". If a partner 'became' family (ie marriage), than it's my belief that all members of the family should have their needs met/be a priority as individuals. Some may need it more at certain times, others less....."
They may not have to work harder, per se, however they may have to bring more to the table to show they are worth the hassle. and I understand that children most be placed at a higher priority at certain times. The problem arises when it's ALL THE TIME | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 2/14/2009 3:27:17 PM | ^^^
geez, are we grabbing at straws now? I can't even read any of this,,,,,, | |
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