| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/24/2005 1:38:39 AM | I would have never though I would be a single mom and Im 22 now and dealing with this,my gosh finding a boyfriend is so hard, I mean to find love is a other!!!!!!! Anyway's...Im giving my heart as well to all the single mother's and Father's out there,The hole net thing donesn't work So I think Im just gonna try a Single parent's group thing in like real life!!!!!!!! Best of Luck to you all. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/24/2005 1:07:01 PM | Dont give up on love Stunner. You are so young and quite honestly, you are breathtakingly beautiful. There will be plenty of gentleman callers in your future...and it is just a matter of time before you will be beating them off with a stick. It just takes time to find the right "one". After all, if there were an abundancy of "the one", this dating list would not be as huge as it is. Weed out the bad, date the good, and pic from the good which one fits best in your future plans. In the mean time, do things that insure you will have a good future (education, care for your child, etc). If you take care of yourself and insure your own happiness, you wont have to find a man to give that to you. He will add to your happiness...yes, not not give it to you...only you can do that for yourself.
Ozzie | |
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gabbyT
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Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/24/2005 5:30:08 PM | | I agree with you gossp but you dont find that on a dating website unfortunately. It is hard for someone to see the real you on a computer. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/24/2005 7:57:01 PM | Wow -- you must be a virgin!
I'm so impressed that you have such willpowwer and know so much, that you could advise all of us single mothers so wisely. Please, oh, please, could I learn more of your great wisdom? | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/24/2005 9:00:53 PM | Dearest Sweetheart aka "nice guys end up paying for your children" aka "wow you must be a single mother" 
maybe im educated, maybe im brass but even young children know
about birth control. Having children at a young age ISN'T "an accident!" nor is it a mistake.
It happened on purpose! No education, no planning, maybe some alcohol involved hmm? You let it happen.Mixed with some failure to act afterwards. Verdict = "Your Guilty as charged"
Yes condoms break but did you know there are over 11 different forms of birth control available?
Start searching the net if you want to find them all. Maybe post them to help others from making stupid decisions.
Backup methods to deal with problems with ineffective birthcontrol measures include:
-morning after pills
- abortions (Controversial to the passive audience, but effective for the ones who get it done and don't want unexpected children to ruin their ultimate goals and dreams in this game of life.)
Focus on your career first!!! It's so important!! then once your making the salary you've dreamed of ..then and only then...maybe its kid time - if thats yours plan in life. Raising a child isn't cheap and they deserve the best. They need a mommy and a daddy. They also need lots of time with BOTH parents to grow up atleast half normal. ;) ( not this "oh its my turn to have them for a day" ) Divorces do plenty of damage to your children but there will always be those who disagree with that.
If you want more tips and knowledge check out the rules of Tom Leykis.
http://www.tenetsofleykis.com/
101 student for life!
I expect some heat (from some moms) but a cool dash of possible thinking and an educational blitz will provide a solid cure. Do not add ignorance. Too many single moms out there. Keep the peace. Thank you. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/24/2005 9:25:10 PM | As a single mother I would not be offended if someone wasn't interested in dating me because I had a child. I understand the commitment of being a parent and those men who do not want to date women with children obviously have an idea of the kind of commitment it takes to raise a child . I think those men will probably make great fathers one day to their own children. I dont think a guy should feel bad about passing on an otherwise great girl due to the fact she has children either. I chose to make the commitment to being a parent, and a partner would have to be willing to make some sort of commitment to my children aswell, not as a father figure though, my son has a father, but as good role model.. I could never be completly interested in someone who didn't want children, and didn't like the idea dating a woman who had a child. I put my son's well being before my own, and hope most other women do the same.
One more thing, because my son means the world to me, i've become more goal oriented, ambitious and career minded. Just because a women has a child does not mean she's destined to live at a lower income level then most other women, it just happens that many low income women get pregnant and have children, and their financial situation remains unchanged. It is so dependant upon the women, these women who make a bad name for single mothers, would probably be living in the same situation had they not had children aswell. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/25/2005 8:48:17 AM | WOW COFFE ****! U GOT ALOT TO SAY ABOUT SINGLE MOTHERS! u MUST OF GOT ****ED OVER BY ONE OR U JUST GOT A SMALL****SO ALL THE WELFARE MOMS WOULDNT EVEN TOUCH YOU. MAN I WISH THIS WASN'T A SITE. PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME SICK! IM A SINGLE MOM WORKING MY ASS OFF TO GET A BETTER LIFE FOR ME AND MINES. I MARRIED A JOKE AND DIDNT FIND THAT OUT TILL 2 YEARS INTO! I NEVER WANTED TO BE A SINGLE MOM. BUT IT WAS THE BEST DECISION. JUST BECAUSE I'M STRUGGLING NOW DOES NOT MAKE ME LESS THAN OR UNEDUCATED OR LAZY. I WORK,GO TO SCHOOL,I HAVE A 2 BEDROOM TOWNHOUSE AND 2000 CAR. I'M THE LEAST BIT FROM WELFARE TRASH. WALK IN A PERSON SHOWS OR TRY TO BEFORE U LET IGNORANT SHIT LIKE THAT SPILL OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!!!  U SOUND LIKE AN ***hole! I KNOW THATS OFF THE SUBJECT BUT SOMEONE NEEDED TO TELL THAT WASTELESS ****!  | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:39:04 PM | | Well if a good single mom comes along to date I'm goign to be taking her out and see where it goes. Have to find one that is local enough and not scared of my being a single dad. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/25/2005 5:18:07 PM | | Gabby - On that point I will most assuredly agree with you. But the dating site will have to due while Abigail is sleeping. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/25/2005 5:25:56 PM |
Backup methods to deal with problems with ineffective birthcontrol measures include:
-morning after pills
- abortions (Controversial to the passive audience, but effective for the ones who get it done and don't want unexpected children to ruin their ultimate goals and dreams in this game of life.)
A beautiful healthy child was my ultimate goal in life. I didn't get it they way I was thinking I would, but I'm sure a lot of the other dads and the moms on here can tell you, like we havn't had to tell so many others before, that nothing was ruined. | |
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gabbyT
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Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/25/2005 5:35:37 PM | | This is to Mr.Sullen..That was a very well thought out post. I applaud you for that. All the points you made are completely true. I agree you should wait a year before introducing your child/ren to your "prospective mate". | |
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gabbyT
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Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 40 | |
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gabbyT
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Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 41 | |
| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/25/2005 5:45:26 PM | | thanks for reply gossp...forums do keep me entertained...gives you something to read when the little monkey is sleeping | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/26/2005 8:34:53 AM | | I make it a point to tell guys right off the bat that I have kids, just in case it is a problem. I can understand a guy not being into that, I really can. What I have a problem with, is when I tell a guy I have kids, he says it's not an issue, and then later he decides it bothers him. The other thing that bothers me is when a guys assumes that just because I have kids I am looking for a substitute father or someone to help raise my kids. Truth is, I don't want a guy anywhere near my kids when I first start dating him. And unless we were to get married, I wouldn't expect him to help out with the kids at all. So, just to set the record straight- that is not what every single mother is looking for. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/26/2005 9:46:02 AM | After reading all of this....this single mom - who has great sons - understands it all very well. I get it! I also find that it is better to date someone with kids because it does make it easier. I'm thankful that I have sons who aren't clingy....who are very respectful and I also agree that you shouldn't meet anyone's kids until you know the relationship is secure.
I also have to say...that my boys don't need a dad....they have him 100%! I too am hoping to find love someday, someone who will compliment me...but also will have fun being around them. There is nothing like getting a big hug from them and saying thanks for being there.
I do well for myself also...and don't need someone to come rescue us....and there are plenty of single moms out there that have done very well for themselves as well. You just never know unless you give someone a chance....you might let go of someone perfect for you!!
Simply put, even though we are moms, we are still women too! | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/26/2005 1:19:51 PM | | Hi I know that this is for men , but I wanted to say Amen.. just wish alot of men thought like you, about us single moms. I also find it hard because iam a single mom of 2 and at times that scares them off or they think its cool and as they see our busy lives or hear about it then they pull away. But I always said , I wonder if single dads get the same treatment,do women run away as fast as men do? I strongly agree with the comment about dating a single mom, for you is a good thing because she can relate too your situation, I so beleive if I was too maybe someday find Mr. Right(if that exisist) but anyhow if he had kids I wouldnt shy away just because of that because especially if he has them full time because he will so know where iam comming from..so way to go two thumbs up for you and any other man whom thinks like you..ty for allowing me to comment..... | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/26/2005 1:27:54 PM | | hi there jennie! I too wanted too say I agree not all single moms are looking for that man too support them finacially and become the daddy. I know Iam not looking for that man either. eventually I would like too find someone for me whom if hits it off then would meet my kids then if all successful then kids would interact with him. but otherwise..No So salute too all those single moms who do it on there own and are just looking for Love for them... | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/26/2005 1:34:18 PM | | thank you for saying that not all mothers are destined for the lower income etc... I became a single mom, not being youngand oops I got knocked up, I was married and my children where results of that marriage, 10yrs later he left but anyhow point is thumbs up for saying that all single moms are not in same boat.... | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/26/2005 1:37:17 PM | | My first daughter was not planned. This is not because I am ignorant of birth control or uneducated. Things happen. She and my daughter that followed are the biggest blessings I could ever have in my life. I would also like to add that after my children were born and after I became a single working mother, I have developed a fabulous, challenging career making a heck of a lot of money. Everyone's life does not follow a prescribed schedule and anyone that insists that it must is missing out on a lot of wonderful surprises! Yes, sometimes a surprise of any type can seem like the end of the world -- accidental pregnancy, losing your job, breking up with a partner. But they often lead to the happiest endings. If someone is IGNORANT enough to pass up these delights that life has to offer because of some superiority complex, well, what a dismal life they must lead. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/26/2005 1:55:46 PM | I thank everyone for the insightful views on dating single mothers. I myself am a single mother. I have great kids and wouldn't change my kids for the world. I myself although I am not rich am not on welfare and refuse to degrade myself or abilities to do so. I have a full time job and I excell at it as well. Now I never introduce potential boyfriends to my children as anything more than friends. I believe it never good to parade your relationships in front of your children because when things start going bad it's the kids that pay. Besides I have to be the rock for my kids and protect them from whatever life throws. And their dads parade their girlfriends in front of my children enough that I don't want to be part of that circle. And yes I said dads. My oldest is from my marriage. No she wasn't planned but we wanted her very much and we were married. And my youngest is from a man I dated for a while and we both planned him. But he changed his mind when I got pregnant and decided he didn't want my son. I choose at that point to leave him and go at it alone. Since then I have dated but nothing has been paraded around my children. I have never asked for a new daddy for my kids they have that so please stop generalizing single mothers in your poverty catorgories and needing new daddy's. I am not living in poverty and my kids have everything they could ask for and more. And I know someday I will find someone who will accept me for me and also accept my kids. And until then guys you are missing out on some great ladies if you can't get past the single mom issue. Also not everyone's situation is the same. And while I am complaining single moms also need more than just a sex partner they need to feel loved and needed by their man.
Thx.  | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/26/2005 2:02:37 PM | | I also dated a single father. He was on welfare and only seemed to not only want a companion but also a mom for his daughter. She's a beautiful girl but he was looking for a woman to give him everything and pay his way. His daughter tugged at my heart strings though. She really needed a mom and Bieng a mom it's hard not to feel anything when looking into her beautiful eyes. I had to end it though before I got to attached or his daughter got attached to me cuz I didn't want to put myself or my children in that situation. So the table turns both ways. | |
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| Men dating single mothers
Posted: 9/26/2005 2:21:17 PM | | this is a great thread, and one that I've thought a lot about as well, it's nice to see other people's opinions. It bothers me hearing how some of my friends talk about single moms, and these are young professional men deemed "good catches" by societies standards. "Great girl, but u buy into that and your sending someone elses kid to college", etc, etc. I've tended to date younger girls but mainly because that's who was single, available and going out. As a dad myself i find that i have more in common with single moms than a lot of the girls i've been going out with. All other things being equal I would probably prefer a long term partner who had children, it's just easier to have common interests and plan activities. But like life, everythings random and if you want to hear god laugh tell him your plan!! | |
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