| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 6:26:31 AM | Where was this thread 20 years ago? ....Oh yeah, there were very few personal computers back then....so I had to learn through 16.5 years of experience.
It is true that even good liars cannot tell the same story twice....But ask for details when they are telling it the first time!
Here is another indicator that has not been addressed in these postings: it goes like this..
Him: You told me you'd be home from work by midnight. I waited up and fell asleep waiting.
Her: What time did you fall asleep?
Him: Probably about 130.
Her: Shoot! I got home at 140...a few of my girlfriends and I just got to talking, is there anything wrong with that??????
Another really sad thing about liars is that they seem to feel no remorse....and they don't care who they hurt.
Another one I fell for for years was the "working out" ruse......It just gave her the excuse she needed to take a shower away from home.
I gave waaaaaaay too much thought about liars and what motivates them to lie on a daily basis even about meaningless things. My conclusions was that liars are selfish individuals....VERY selfish....There goal seems to be self promotion and they will lie to make themselves look good and feel good....and they really do not care about anyone but themselves. The ultimate ME FIRST philosopher. It is also true that they DO believe their own fables after awhile (I guess they even lie to themselves and expect themselves to believe it and if they don't then they prove to be the liar they are..and heaven forbid that they have to admit it!) | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 6:27:54 AM | Liars will usually throw the ball into your court. For example if they accuse you of having an affair, you can bet your bottom dollar it is THEM having an affair.
Liars usually spin a web until one day they get caught in it. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 9:23:31 AM | Hook them up to a 12 volt battery by their nipples when you ask them the question and tell them they'll get ZAPPED if they lie!!!!
Works EVERY TIME!!! | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 9:59:02 AM | I disagree with looking at their eyes. An accomplished liar can look you dead-on. They've read the books, too.
I do agree about paying attention to patterns. If they lie about obvious, insignificant things, they will lie about much more important things.
The only way is to listen and watch. Don't rely on your memory, write things down. And most of all, take your time. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 12:10:33 PM | the liars that I have met did a lot of the following:
1) If you have a story they've been there done that but it was FAR more impressive when they did it.
2) complain about how much they hate liars. Complain about certain people who the claim are liars themselves.
3) Like to use the word "honestly" at the beginning or end of a sentence.
4) Tell you how honest they are. And faithful.
5) Brag.
6) Repeatedly tell stories like "Oh yeah so that person and that person were screwed right up and its a good thing I was there to save the day cuz they didn't know what they were doing blah blah blah"
#6 was probably the most common in my experience.
One girl in my city is well-known for being the biggest tramp and liar around - she's on pof and her profile states the following:
I am an honest,loyal person(if I'm with someone, I'm with someone), I don't cheat, or lie, when I am shown respect I give respect in return,...
as soon as I see something like that, no matter who it is, I begin to suspect the opposite. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 12:17:50 PM | i think to detect a guy if he is a liar is not to hard if you lissin hard to most things he says becaues things will not add you in the end or at all. I think its becaues guys will tell one hafe decent or a big a** lia where girls will tell 2-3 little small lias and keep track of them better
just a thourt | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 12:40:23 PM | | Rockondon you are pretty right on. My ex was a liar and he even put up a profile on this site while we were in an 'exclusive' relationship. yeah right. He wanted somebody honest, caring, no game playing, said he hadn't dated anyone in two years. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 4:05:35 PM | Well I certainly wouldn't advocate getting everyone you meet drunk just to determine what things they said may, or may not have been a falsehood. The only suggestion I would offer is to listen and remain observant. It has been my experience that those who lie will eventually give themselves away given enough time; you simply have to be paying attention to catch it. This, of course, has the added benefit in strengthening any true relationship at the same time.
A win win situation, wouldn't you agree? | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 8:27:20 PM |
Put it this way most men are liars if you find an honest one its usually coz hes a church goer.
I know a very dishonest one that goes to church, and he is an USHER!!!
the ones(liars, bs'r,etc.) that go to church are the worst... | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 8:30:23 PM | If you really want to get good at detecting lies, read "Telling Lies" by Paul Eckman. He's done studies on lies and even offers a DVD that you can order- supposedly after 20 minutes of watching this video, you can detect the "microexpressions" that give liars away.
But good liars are uncatchable, because they don't feel a twinge of guilt or remorse or apprehension when lying, | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 8:32:38 PM | They get all defensive about the question you asked them. They try to turn it around on you, that you have issues. Long and behold, still never answering the question.
I also agree with the ones who stated how they state they don't play games or with people. Last guy I met on here, has that on his profile. He even told me in person on our first date, "Please don't play me, I am too old to play games" Well, guess who ended up playing the game? Yep, him. But I am not one who let's people get away with things easily. I called him on it, repeated his exact words from his profile and what he said the night of our first date. Of course, guilty is no response.
I think we all should carry pocket lie detectors. Every time the person lies, it vibrates in your pocket. You have one up on them, because you know they lied and they think you are believing them. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 8:39:40 PM |
But good liars are uncatchable, because they don't feel a twinge of guilt or remorse or apprehension when lying,
EXACTLY | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 8:42:23 PM |
They get all defensive about the question you asked them. They try to turn it around on you, that you have issues. Long and behold, still never answering the question. I also agree with the ones who stated how they state they don't play games or with people. Last guy I met on here, has that on his profile. He even told me in person on our first date, "Please don't play me, I am too old to play games" Well, guess who ended up playing the game? Yep, him.
this is so true with liars | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 9:42:32 PM | | I usually go by intuition. Also if you feel you are not being respected in certain areas that usually leads to being lied to eventually. When they tell you they will call and then don't. When they have a tendency to be late. When things just don't feel right....a lie is usually around the corner. go by your intuition. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 11:09:54 PM | I think when people are untruthful it really helps us in the end. We get out of being guided by our own wishful thinking and we actually start paying attention to what people say. Most of us just wander around aimlessly and don't think about much other then our own needs and wants. When someone comes a long and gives us this we close our eyes to reality because what we most want and need is being provided. It doesn't matter if its true or not for the time being because the feel good factor is greater then the truth.
I simply don't deal with people unless i have to for work or going to the shop. Not because i'm afraid of being lied to, to me thats a given. Its rare to find people who are truthful and when you do they are probably in the same boat, hiding from everyone else. The truth isn't as important as knowing you can be ok if it isn't the truth and you haven't gone beyond your own comfort level of intimacy because you've got caught up in wishful thinking.
Be thankful every time you get lied to. Know yourself and what wishful thinking pattern you got caught up in when you bought into the lie. Fill that need within yourself or accept that this is an unfinished part of yourself that will control you if you allow it. Next time you hear that lie you will see it instead of selling out for it.
Its easy to blame the lier. But he's only doing what makes him successful just like everyone else, even the person who accepts the lie. They are getting their needs met and when the lie is caught they are the monster all of a sudden... Just like all the politicians, lawyers and sales people... Its no good having a scape goat if it doesn't make you wiser, or more conscious about your choices.
crazylilting
Edit: from talking about this post these things came up that will make this clearer.
If we see peoples lies then we have a choice whether to accept the person as they are or stay away from them. And when we've been caught off guard and bought in we know we are struggling in an area of our lives. Either way its a win/win. It doesn't have to be all woe just because someone isn't truthful. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/25/2007 9:48:25 AM | They always come up with perfect excuses.
They have an explanation for everything and it's never their fault. They are just victims ...someone or something else made them do it.
They use "trust me" in every other sentence. (Sincere people don't feel the need to convince anybody about their credibility, it doesn't even cross their minds it could be an issue)
They are self proclaimed "nice guys/girls" they tell you things "they would never be capable of doing" or "have never done before" (Why would it even puzzle your little mind then, I start thinking).
I don't remember ever being brutally lied to (that I know of, I mean) but possibly they were that good of liars.
As for pathological liars...hm.. I remember having an acquaintance that could qualify as such.. she use to claim to have owned all the best Barbie dolls with houses and pools  | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 1:09:12 AM | theres lots of easy ways that never fails.but im not giving out my tricks here lol
cause some liars might read this thread
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 1:22:16 AM | I vote for the gut feelings. They are almost always 100% dead on accurate.
One thing I've noticed about liars is how they get uncomfortable and stumble on their own words if you ask them more questions than they expected to answer. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 1:25:57 AM | One more thing....
I'm pretty certain that anyone who says "I swear on my(sister's/mother's/father's/brother's) grave is almost without a doubt trying to unload a huge BS story upon you. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 1:33:54 AM | honey any man working overseas is a liar and a scammer i can smell em a 100 miles away-maybe i have been on line too long but i can pick out a liar in 2 mins flat
don't need the BS truth or move on with me | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 1:43:22 AM | My ex used to tell elaborate tales. It wasn't "Well, I got off work late." It was, "Well, it was 3:20 p.m. and at 3:32 p.m. I saw John Doe, who had to talk about Joanne, his sister, you know the one with the twins, anyway, Jack, I mean John said that it was 5 and I nearly died...where did the time go?" PFT. (It went by the wayside while you were naked with the little skinny girl. LMAO) I don't know. It just seemed to me that the stories were so over-built it was comical. A simple, "I had things to do" would have kept him from getting caught, I never would have asked. But goodness, he wrote a Disney tale of his life every single day. Where he had the energy is beyond me.  | |
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