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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 2:04:30 AM | Sykpe...
That's the biggest crock yet. NO ONE lies to protect someone else. They lie because they lack the intestinal fortitude to tell the truth. PERIOD! | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:33:40 AM | If you’ve got yourself a new partner and you don't trust them, set them up. If you've got a good looking friend who you can use to test the new partner,
Take your partner down the pub,
Get your good looking friend to drop in unexpectedly, introduce your good looking friend to your partner, get your good looking friend a drink, sit him/her down for the one quick drink, pretend to catch up on a few old times or something and then nip to the Ladies/Gents for a few minutes leaving them talking and watch the reactions when you get back. Or call your good looking friend later that evening to get there judgment.
As lyres are usually opportunist like thieves.
I know it’s a bit ruthless but so are lyres. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 7:56:39 AM | | When the actions aren't matching the words ---- and you need to be willing to stop hanging with people who lie because liars won't change. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:07:06 AM | Dee: that is too funny Wish I had of thought about using that ploy with my ex but then he probably would have thought of it as a sexual turn on....LOL
As for watching for signs - liars read the books too. They learn what to do and what not to do. My ex didn't know it but I knew when he lied because his eye twitched among other things. Eventually he must have learned what clues gave him away as when he cheated on me there were absolutly no clues whatsoever. He was as attentive, loving, kind etc. as he had always been. Only difference was that he was working a LOT of overtime which in itself was also not unusual.
Today I follow the rule that when/if I catch someone in a lie, no matter what it is about, he is out of there. I didn't follow my own advice here recently and got burned once again. His loss, not mine. I know what I said and did was true...I can live with myself..he purported to be a Christian, god fearing, kind, generous, oh, and did I forget, honest man. The sad part is I think he actually believes that he is all of the things he purported. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:38:36 AM | Trust your instinct for starters. Apply the Duck Test. Pay attention to Signs and Signals
Patterns of behavior reveal liars: Pattern analysis is the key. What do they do, when and how and Why? Do their explanations make sense? The duck test - walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck -- it is a fricken DUCK.
Look for and notice inconsistencies and contradictions in behavior, what is said, and what is said vs what is actually done. Is there a pattern - a recurrent pattern? Look for, notice and take note of efforts to have unaccounted for time - turning out he/she was not where they said they would be and for omission of information that turns up by accident (it is easier to leave out information than to lie),
Are they only available by cell phone - no matter where she or he is ? (yes some people only have cell phones these days) but they work somewhere. Are they only available between 8:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. on the cell phone or any phone? They can never be contacted at work - Oh Really?
Regular people can be contacted most any time (those that are not lying) Those that are lying about being in another relationship, being married, having a job, etc. often cannot be contacted just any old time - how's that work?) Can he or she be contacted late at night by telephone - by a non cell phone?
Cease rationalizing his/her behavior - quit excusing his or her inconsistencies and contradictions, turn on the BS detection meter, apply the duck test - be skeptical.
He is on business trips and hunting/fishing trips and can NEVER be contacted - even by cell phone --- hmmmmm? Really now?
Joe | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:47:26 AM | Their lips are moving.
People who give excuses all the time are often lying.
People who make grandiose claims all the time are probably lying. Liars sometimes have narcisstic personalitities.
Don't believe anything until it is verified.
If you even suspect someone is lying, act as though they might be, in other words be cautious.
If someone is too charming, guess what? They might be lying.
Have a cynical, realistic perspective but don't let them hurt your outlook on life or people. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 9:50:21 AM | jd: Sometimes liars are SO good that there are not changes in patterns or behavior. For me...my ex didn't change a thing and I mean a thing. He was exactly the same with the exception of working more overtime (found out that overtime was his cheatin time)...but the overtime wasn't anything different as he has always worked a lot of overtime...hmmm maybe he was cheating all along. No, he wasn't as I knew his group of friends and inconsistencies would have come out. At the time the cheating occurred I also was working a lot of overtime thus was not around his buddies to find out the truth.
But on the other hand...had the woman he was cheating on me with listened..she would have saw or found out that he was in a relationship, engaged, a liar...as she was the one who couldn't get in touch with him when she wanted....the phone was off, he forgot to charge it, left it in the car, forgot it at home..forgot to bring it in the bedroom...didn't have a home phone number (when of course we did)...didn't bring her to the house until well after I was gone...as if he did, she would have been certain he was still living with his fiance. Oh, not to mention, the fact that only 2 weeks out of the 6 when they were cheating was he able to take her out on the week-end (as he lied and told me he worked a double, again this wasn't anything unusual). All I can say is now I know why he was so exhausted..not from work, but rather from keeping two woman, keeping all of the lies straight, etc. Enough said. Peace & Happiness. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/29/2007 2:26:25 AM | | if hes confessing something or telling u something after u ask him a question and he cant look u straight in the eyes with out having a smirk or even just straight in the eyes chances are he lying big time. its just like the fishing story when i went fishing i caugh a fish this big when really the fish was like this big if he fidges alot in his seat also thats a sign and if hes minimizing the chat screens or website screens when u walk in a room thats a sure sign he hidding something | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/29/2007 4:43:34 AM | I possess a trait that liars tend to have. I had to justify everything to my ex; what, where, when, why etc... so now I find myself explaining every little detail of where I was and what I was doing and who with etc... A liar will usually supply you with more information than is necessary; something like, instead of simply stating they went out last night, they try and justify everything and go into lengthy details. Their conscience is telling them its wrong to lie so they are really trying to convince themselves. JMO
Profiling has a much higher success rate than trying to figure out if someone is liar... you have to ask yourself "why is the person lying"
Don't pay attention to body langauge that is old school...
I worked with a Counter Terrorist Unit for years.. am I lying???? | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/29/2007 4:46:00 AM | how to detect liars.........???
The Robert de Niro way:
1) Lie detector test
2) Truth syrum
Everything else is unreliable!!!! lol | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:47:03 AM | | From experience of a drunk they ARE constant liars.... you will never know wether to believe them or not..... Best thing to do is get away from someone that drinks to that point.... as you will end up suffering the most in the long run. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:18:22 AM | Have you never lied in your life bahaha i find that hard to belive!
What are you Jesus?
Youve lied your self before so just look back to that and use it to help you see a liar! | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:19:35 AM | I work in the media so I've encountered my fair share of pathological liars. I've noticed
two things that the worst liars have in common.
Thing One - they always insist on being taken at their word and will get very agitated if their word is challenged , even where it openly conflicts with their actions. Politicians do this a lot!
Thing Two - an absence of a genuine sense of humour. They'll understand obvious comic cues, so they'll laugh when they think they should and they'll know how to tell a funny story but the subtleties of humour will evade them completely.
We all have our own bullsh*t detectors and we should trust them. Mine makes the occasional mistake but most of the time it works impeccably. And if all else fails, remember the words of Hunter S Thompson, "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours." | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:41:54 AM | "Thing One - they always insist on being taken at their word and will get very agitated if their word is challenged , even where it openly conflicts with their actions. Politicians do this a lot!"
Journalists too, maybe even more so!
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"Always listen to your gut feelings, you will never go wrong"
That assertion is not a lie, but it is wrong/faulty, that is what my gut tells me.
I prefer to listen to my brain and what it can deduce based on logical analysis of the logical "quality" of what someone says.
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:06:36 AM | | LOL You have a point there. I don't think that just because a man is speaking, he's necessarily a liar. However, there are con artists, especially online, and predators. These people are scarier than what you may face in a bar. At least in a bar, you're face to face with someone and can pick up on things that may not seem right. (Plus, you can leave them there too!) Online, it's a lot harder to know what the truth is, no matter how smart you are. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:08:32 AM | | You'd be amazed at the people who do tell the truth when drinking. It's not with everyone, of course, and a majority of those serious drinkers aren't worth being around, but....there are some that are worth listening to, because you never know what you may find out. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:09:14 AM | Well if its a man we're talking about here then its easy to tell when they're lying
Generally their lips are moving  | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:13:44 AM | re post 96
I beg to differ. In a face to face discussion we THINK that we can tell a lie because we eyeball the other person. Thus whereas we may THINK that we can detect a lie/liar this way, I do not think that this method is as reliable as we tend to think. We overestimate your ability to "psysche" others.
In written online communications, we can use logic and rely on it to detect faulty claims or points or allegations or syllogisms without being influenced by a person's ability to sweet talk us via their non-written non-spoken communication tools, a usual trick of cons and liars, IMO. As long as we train ourselves to detect the logical faults in lying syllogism/dialectic. | |
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| how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:22:10 AM | It's so sad when you think you have met a sincere person on line and they turn out to be the biggest liars of all. Wish I knew how to detect a man when he is giving you a line of crap and you wasted your time and energy on him and he turns out to be a real rat.
Oh well, we live and learn. | |
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