| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/19/2006 6:15:40 PM | Fuschia - excellent post. I'm with you on what a man puts in his profile "good kisser, likes to cuddle", that is so cliche. Hey, we all know we like to cuddle and kiss good. Surely, one needs to be more creative.
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Don't be so damn stupid.
Listen to your girlfriends properley for onece
All this moan moan moan form them about guys being lousy kissers, lousy lovers, moan amoan moan
Why did you think that he advertised "good kisser" It's the issue that you are moaning about.
Actually kuse44
If you seriously want quality guys then the best thing you can put in your profile is "not a man hater and not a moaner" | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/19/2006 6:17:16 PM | Powervideo has the right answer here.
There are ways to touch a woman on the first date - in fact physical contact is downright necessary. But you need to do it a) gradually and b) without hesitation. If you're going to touch her, then touch her. Do not do things half-way or you'll seem like you don't have confidence... or that you're starved for affection (both are bad).
One thing I'd advise is to lightly touch her when you're trying to make a point. A gentle, light touch that lingers for a fraction of a second, while looking her in the eyes and smiling always gets good results. Women do this all the time, especially if they're laughing (hell, I get total strangers to laugh and they're touching my arm after a few minutes!).
If you're in a crowded room, you can also hold her hand under the right circumstances: if you've gotten her laughing, tell her that you want to go to the other side of the discotheque (or wherever you are), and then hold out your hand, looking her in the eyes while smiling. She'll usually take it.
Save the hair-touching for later, like when you feel that you want to kiss her.
But understand that displays of affection from men make you look like you're needy. You should avoid that. | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/19/2006 6:18:42 PM |
If you seriously want quality guys then the best thing you can put in your profile is "not a man hater and not a moaner"
 I thought men liked moaners! And screamers and... Oh wait, you meant something else. Nevermind! 
Snowwolf | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/19/2006 7:23:30 PM | | This is not first date behavior......... and you already know that. Slow and steady wins the race. You can however touch her hand quickly when speaking.... maybe a slight touoch to her back when you pull her chair out for her.......... you know subtle stuff.... all the stuff you mentioned makes you seem like a perv on the first date. | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/19/2006 7:29:51 PM | What affection turn women off?? Hold it ?? Only if your a gropper..You know what I mean. Your first date techniques sound like it. Have you gone on anymore dates have you tried a different approach??? | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/19/2006 7:37:51 PM | OMG !! The rest of these posters are so negative !
Don't listen to the naysayers. Continue to do what you're doing with your creepy come-ons on the first date.
The only reason you're running into resistance is because you're forgetting the most important thing. You've often heard of people referring to love connections as having a "chemsitry", right?
Well, you need to bring your chemistry with you along with your dates ! Specifically, CHLOROFOAM !! Several whiffs of this and the gals won't complain one bit about your roaming hands !!
Good luck bro !
BB | |
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| points not mentioned
Posted: 12/19/2006 7:55:03 PM | well I for one usually get a hug but anything beyond that no chance. i'm just happy we're talking adn wait for a second date. I think what no-one else has suggested but usually works well is the casual knee bump or sitting close beside each other so elbows touch or some little thing like that. of course, you can't read too much into minor things like that either.
if you take a study of any culture, the first thing they mention is physical contact between friends even if it's between two males or females, etc. also the proximity that they talk to each other (distance apart they are). if the person you meet is that close or touchy feely they're most likely like that with everyone or really drunk.
why is everyone so up tight about these minor things. I mean you emerge from a bar mentality where you slow dance with any random stranger grinding and stuff to a stuffy cold shoulder mentality. I remember that one thread where someone was describing someone holding hands with them as akin to rape and freaking them out despite the fact they were helping them down a slippery slope or that they were initially attracted to them if only they didn't hold hands. the only thing i seemed to learn is that the guys that make contact with girls at bars are the pushy rude obnoxious jerks that force themselves onto others. mmm, maybe those are tactics for frosh girls but from the stories they tell the next day i often wonder why do these girls keep spending money night after night heading out to that?
usually i find my hand gets too sweaty anyways so unless i've known them a month or two i would be much too awkward and unsure.
anyways, that's my two cents, i feel far too inexperienced in the dating department to offer any better advice | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/19/2006 8:05:36 PM | I dated a guy like that once. He wanted to hold my hand in the car. He ended up sucking my finger and kept taking my hand when I'd pull away. "I'm just affectionate', he said. We went to dinner. As we walked in, he was stroking my hair and sniffing it. "you smell delicious, cant get enough', he said. He wanted to sit right beside me and stroke my leg and I had to keep moving his hand. 'Just want to touch you', he said. We went to get in the car after dinner. He wanted a hug, and seemed to nuzzle in so that he could rub his chest against mine, really firm, and his hands were all over my backside before I could pull away. 'You just feel snuggly', he said. He took me home, and as I was putting my key in the door, before I could say goodnight, he got directly behind me, grabbed me around the waist, and tried to rub himself on me. 'Owwww', he said, right after I cold-cocked him......
He wrote me an email saying I was 'frigid'..... | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/19/2006 8:11:31 PM |
Ok Bikerboy 39 never married, no kids... I guess that technique didn't work for you LOL
wow here's another useless flaming comment that adds nothing to the discussion. i added a pertinent comment. there's nothing wrong with being a touchy-feely person, but i wouldn't want to date someone like that, particularly if they were that way in public, i'm one to believe there is a time and place for everything, a first date in public is not the place to "feel" out your date, so to speak. or feel up your date.
sunbathermom, read suzanne's comment, that is probably how most women would feel when the guy has exhibits unwarranted touchy-feely false-intimacy behavior on a first date. | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/19/2006 8:37:41 PM |
Rape phobia is the result of an extremely effective propaganda campaign, by a buch of man haters who call themselves feminists, whereby every affectionate gesture from hugging to sending flowers is listed as harrasment or stalking. With rape as the next step!
No matter how much the girls crave affection when they see it they freak out.
Oh my, now there is a case of cranio rectal disorder.
I went out with a touchy feely guy one time. I asked him to stop touching me to which he replied he "could not help it." I kept moving further and further away from him and when I went to the restroom, signaled my displeasure by sitting as far as I could get and still be at the same table. He took off his shoes then, and touched me with his feet. Now how gross is that?
Finally ending the date and walking out to my car, as I opened the car door he pushed me into the corner and stuck his tongue down my throat while fumbling with his pants. He backed off for a second and I quickly got in my car, but he was standing so as to prevent me from shutting my car door. I saw the reason he had been fumbling with his pants. He had removed his turgid organ and said to me "don't you really want to suck it?"
I informed him that I was not suck on it if I were stranded in deep space and his testicles were the only available source of oxygen. I then informed him that if it went into my mouth, he could be sure it would not come out intact. Making sure he did not force the issue further. I began to back my car, with him trying to do up his pants and walk with the car. When I finally hit the middle of the parking lane, I pulled forward, shut the car door and left him there standing with his pants undone and an erection in the middle of the parking lot. As I drove off, I heard him say, "God dammit, not again."
This true story is brought to you as an example of why women get nervous when men they do not know very well touch them. I would go as far as to say it shows a total lack of respect for someone's boundaries to touch a person without their permission. It seems to me to be a very controlling gesture. | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/19/2006 9:21:36 PM | Women first need to desire you before caring for you...
Holding hands on the first date is like skipping that step !
There's nothing wrong with kissing on the first date but do it in order to somewhat add some passion and desire and only if you sincerely desire her while respecting her but not to the extent of looking like a sweet friend. Let her senses heat up and if she really appreciates you, soon enough on the next dates, she will appreciate the signs that show you care for her, like holding hands ! Just let it flow.....
Bottom line, you probably make her feel like you need her more than she needs you ....
Women first want to feel the desire in their gut before looking for the rest...
They just might perceive you as mr. nice guy and that's not attracting them.
If you are a nice guy, you don't need to show it..YOU ARE !! She will know eventually, let things flow naturally, create the desire first, the interest and once that process is into motion the cuddling and touching will happen. | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/20/2006 1:04:58 AM | If you seriously want quality guys then the best thing you can put in your profile is "not a man hater and not a moaner"
I thought men liked moaners! And screamers and... Oh wait, you meant something else. Nevermind!
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Snowwolf
Thats not screaming. Thats creaming.
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/20/2006 1:08:03 AM | Just getting back to the original point the only thing that turns women oon is celebrity status.
(A lot of guys make the mistakeof thing its money.)
You can be rock star, sporting star, movie star, or even mass murderer. the yorkshire ripper and even that gereatric mass murderer Charles Manson still get fan mail by the bag load.
They all have celebrity. | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/20/2006 5:11:36 AM |
I am just very affectionate and i don't know what to do
It is not true that you don't know what to do. You obviously do. It seems from your post that the real problem is not that you are affectionate, but that you lack self-control.
I just want it to be easier...
Another sign of immaturity. You have some huge character flaws that go way beyond finding a date. | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/20/2006 7:44:40 AM | Originaltoyou....>> "Women first need to desire you before caring for you..."
IMO - It's the opposite. We first need to care for you BEFORE we desire you"... and that is not going to happen on the first date. (not with me)
goes for guys too.. not all guys want sex on the first date... Nothing wrong with that if it's what both parties are looking for. It's just not for me.
Loopy :-) | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/20/2006 7:50:37 AM | The problem isn't the affection, it's that it's too much to soon. Running your hands through a woman hair on a first date? You got to be kidding.... | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/20/2006 8:37:04 AM |
hey bike_man - I think she was talking to bikerboyinheat
I thought so too at first, but I'm 39, bikerboy is 29. Most of the comments here are water off a ducks back anyways...live and let live. | |
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/20/2006 11:13:05 AM | i honestly don't think affection bothers people it's being over affectionate. i'm sure there are many people out there that loves holding hands, cuddling, love notes, flowers sent home ot to the work place, hugging, caressing, or even having their partners run their fingers through their hair. i know, i just love it when guys run their fingers through my hair, brush it, or even play with it. now guys, please get your minds out of the gutter....that's not the hair that i'm talking about. i'm talking about the hair on my head, the hair that i have to brush every morning when i get up and every night before i go to bed. i love holding hands, cuddling up to watch a movie or snuggling up in bed, hell, i love it when a guy caress' my face while we're snuggling or cuddling. what i honestly don't like very much is being smothered by someone that's over affectionate. i need air to breath, i don't need to be sufficated by someone that's over affectionate. i also had my boys feeling as if they were up my a$$ constantly so i wouldn't want that again as well. i just wished that i would find someone like that....affectionate, just not over affectionate......and someone that's not looking out for sex first. being affectionate is being romantic.....being romantic does in some time lead up to sex, sex never leads up to romance. imo.
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| Why does affection turn women off?
Posted: 12/20/2006 12:27:47 PM | | I think you are probably coming on a bit strong and looking for comfort, give the poor woman a chance. Friendship is important in a relationship, if you have a good friendship then the relaitonship will have a good basis for growth. | |
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Posted: 12/20/2006 3:10:00 PM | | omg, this thread is the funniest thing i've ever read. how is it that none of those guys ever got charged with anything?? you're letting htem off easy, if they want to do that kind of thing they should pay $50 | |
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