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| For wearswhitewell
Posted: 3/13/2006 4:57:09 PM | Good for you. You are much more mature than those who are complaining .They are just jealous of those of you who do have a family to stay home with. I am 73 yrs. old and any of my children are welcome to come home any time they want. Hang in there  | |
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| Mama's boy, devoted son, or dependant???
Posted: 3/13/2006 5:09:15 PM | For starters, I own my own home, live alone, in a three bedroom (turned on of the bedrooms into a nice study), two bathroom house that was fully renovated from the ground up before I had bought it. I'm not rich, I'm just good with money management.
That being said... Your point is a purely American concept. Americans care all about independance, to show that independance it's a rebelion/rejection of one's family (when we're teenagers) or seperating ourselves from them as soon as possible (college and beyond). Most other countries would find our yearning for "leaving the next" as a foriegn concept. Most women in other countries live with their families to help support that household until they get married and join a different houshold. Often the eldest son will stay with the parents taking care of them as they grow older as they did for him. In turn, he becomes the head of the household and often may be in a home that is handed down generation after generation.
Even then, this strong focus and push towards "be an individual seperate from your family" is even relatively knew as a cultural concept for Americans. Often families growing up a farm would stay due to inability to afford the luxury of living out on their own.
So, on one hand. You have the moochers that I have no respect for because they're basically using someone else (their parents in this case, some men mooch off a girlfriend like my sister's pathetic excuse for a toy boy). That's all it is, it's the same mentality concerning family members as they may have towards a girlfriend. The guy is going to mooch off someone as long as he's allowed to, be that with his parents or significant other. This situation you explained is no better or worse then some guy living in his girlfriend's apartment/house and not working, simply using her money to live in a lap of luxury of doing nothing. (sorry, but my sister seems to attract men like this often so I know their type well)
I guess my point is that you're attacking a group in a given situation. I think you should just focus on indivduals who will use others in this manner in some form or another without really showing any form of independance. Someone that moves out and then goes on welfare? Depending on the goverment to save their butt on a regular basis just becuase they don't feel like working? It's all a crutch, and as long as you lean too heavily on someone else to do everything for you, you'll still end up being a child wanting to be taken care of, not an adult who can do things on their own.
I think you're just scraching the surface of a much larger problem concering many variations on this theme. This is just merely one example. | |
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| This is for Daisie.
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:20:36 PM | | Well,Daisie ,sure feel sorry for anyone who may some day be foolish enough to marry you !!! Also it will be a blessing if you never have children. You do not sound like Mother material. Or it could be that you are just very mature !!!! | |
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| Mama's boy, devoted son, or dependant???
Posted: 9/18/2006 12:45:01 PM | | It's been just my mom and me since I was seven. I'm now 42 and it's still just the two of us!!! Having two different kinds of disabilities, over the years, has brought the two of us even closer than she has ever been with another mate or sibling (her words, not mine). She has never restricted me in any way as an adult and she does her thing and I do mine. Recently, she has started to lose her sight and if I were not at home to assist her, it would neither be good for her or for me afterwords. We have an excellent line of communication and she says what she needs to say and I do the same. I can only say that if you you absolutely need to, then your 'rents will surely have you. That's why they call it FAMILY. There has never been another person in the world, personal or professional, that I have ever had more respect for, and a more open communication with and am confidant that there will never be another. If for whatever reason today that my mother happens to need my assistance with ANYTHING, I'm there. If you can't deal with that, you need a higher set of morals and values, PERIOD. | |
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| Mama's boy, devoted son, or dependant???
Posted: 9/18/2006 7:15:26 PM | well who know wat a man is thinkin but usually its 50% of the lazy syndrome to be able to get up and go out without worryin about any high maintenance bills. plus they feel secure to just pay moms a little cash and flaunt the rest. I aint mad at them hey if they have it like that then hey. Only problem is that they can never act right in a relationship because they know that they can always go bac to mama. No responsibility at all except getting up and going to work. | |
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syhper
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Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 57 | |
| Mama's boy, devoted son, or dependant???
Posted: 9/18/2006 7:51:05 PM | Not High Maitenance,
Some really in depth thought and analysis on a topic which I'm sure some will say, who really cares? If it bothers you so much when you meet someone who is not entirely truthful about their situation, then why beat yourself to death over it, waste all this time and thought and energy into something that really doesn't matter in the end? What are you hoping to get out of this thread? For each and every person has their own reasons and circumstances to which we may never truly understand, unless we actually walk in their shoes.
There are just as many girls out there who talk a big game as well, and often more times then not, exaggerate their own personal situations. Why people do this? Perhaps to impress others? Maybe to cover up their own insecurities as well too? Maybe they feel if people really knew their own personal situation well, that perhaps no one would like or accept them? Either way, and whatever the reason may be, it really shouldn't matter so much.
Don't waste your energy on silly issues and people. There are a lot of con men and women out there looking out only for themselves. They will lie and decieve everyone in their path to achieve their own selfish goals. Take a deep breath, clear your mind of these concerns and thoughts, and simply move on. There are bigger things in this world then worrying about the superficial and the phonies.
Good luck to you. | |
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| Mama's boy, devoted son, or dependant???
Posted: 9/18/2006 8:14:49 PM | | Wow, this thread has gotten pretty nasty. I'm not even going to even say anything about it, as I did the last time this topic came up. No wonder there are millions of single people in the world using the internet to find perfection. Guess what, it doesn't exist online. Of my time online, I've learned that EVERYONE that is looking for love online has some sort of problem that has prevented them to finding someone out in the real world. And yes, including myself, i'm not immune to the imperfections. Perfection is impossible, we all as a race have to just accept the odd flaw here and there. If we did, everyone would be much happier. Cheers! | |
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| Mama's boy, devoted son, or dependant???
Posted: 9/18/2006 8:51:30 PM | It's one thing if a son or a daughter for that matter move back home to truly care for ailing parent/s. It is completely another story because they don't want to leave their precious mommy and mommy likes it that way.
My ex was only going to move back for "2 or 3 months" that was back in 1992. To put it politely there is something not healthy about that mother/son relationship. Of course the excuses are endless but my all time favorite excuse he gave to his now grown children is "I can't move out because I have to give your mother ALL of my money". The mama's boys are getting a free ride and the mama's don't have to let go of their precious baby boys. | |
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| Mama's boy, devoted son, or dependant???
Posted: 9/18/2006 9:15:59 PM | | Well I kind of feel bad because I am back at home with my parents. I work, im a painter but do not borrow money from them. I do take care of there house and help them in emergencies. I would love more than ever to leave. My father and mother also have medical conditions that do not let them do the things they once did. Both cannot hear and have heart conditions. How may i ask you could they survive if i left them alone? | |
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| Mama's boy, devoted son, or dependant???
Posted: 9/18/2006 9:17:00 PM | I'm 26 and I live with my mom. My "excuse"? She got divorced from my cheating stepdad, who he left her the house... and the mortgage. She works full time, even overtime, but it's way too expensive. Since her a-hole boyfriend won't help her guess who does? Without me she would be on the street along with my disabled sister. I hate that people are so shallow to judge someone based on their *current* living situation. I'm always upfront about it, and I'm not ashamed. It won't be much longer before I'm out of here. By the way it's not all peaches and roses living with mom! Besides the way it affects how potental dates think of me, I have to deal with nagging, explaining everything I do, lots of pets, my siblings/family, lack of privacy, and so on. Luckily I've met a few females who understand my situation and don't see it as a bad thing, maybe even respect me for it.. Those that have issues with it probably wouldn't be my type anyway, so who cares. | |
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