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Posted: 10/10/2007 3:53:09 AM | "It so turns me on but maybe because it's freeing during sex."
Being called names by your lover during sex is freeing? From what?
It's a free country, but I do not understand the underlying thinking/feeling and that is why I ask!
Nick/Mr. Spok (lol) | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 4:24:05 AM | | Ok just wondering how this kind of thread even got on and let alone stayed on for 3 years with a very vulgar and direspectful title like that. I don't know but that sounds very insulting to women to have a crazy title like this. I know the OP's long gone, but someone needs to teach some people on manners and the right way to communicate their thoughts and ideas in a more respectful way, because this just sounds extremely vulgar. | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 7:24:31 AM |
Being called names by your lover during sex is freeing? From what?
It's a free country, but I do not understand the underlying thinking/feeling and that is why I ask!
I guess different people like it for different reasons. I don't know about it being "freeing," or those who get off because deep down they feel sex is "wrong." But even so, what's the difference? If it helps them enjoy, all the better.
I do know it can be fun and exciting and wild, if both people are into it in a fun, exciting and wild way. It's hard to explain to those who don't like it (nothing wrong with that either), but I think of it sort of like the two kinds of people who react when I tell them I always wanted the thrill of jumping out of an airplane - so I jumped out of an airplane. Some people say cool, and some people honestly think I'm nuts. And there's no point in trying to change their minds. | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 10:56:44 AM |
Being called names by your lover during sex is freeing? From what?
Have you ever have the feeling of "freeing" during sex? Like you just blew right through something?
Well put yourself in a woman's place. She runs into these guys that think they are god's gift and the sex is horrid, restraining and quite boring. Well......maybe not for you but to her it is.
I'm thinking that your whole idea of sex is distorted by TV, your mother, crap you listen to, etc. It's a primitive act. Slow passionate love making has it's place but we aren't talking about that.
So do you think a woman would be offended if you just flat f@cked her senseless? Having her by the hair and slamming her deliciously? I'm thinking that goes waaaaay outside your paradigm. Too bad really, you don't know what you are missing. The speach has to match the experience. Oh, well you could just be there and moan a little I guess.  | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 2:07:00 PM | Re post 356:
That is too @*&#&&# an ad hominem comment to comment upon.
That is all I will bother to comment: Mediterranean men do not get the female attention we get for nothing!!!
And we do not have to resort to such gimmicks for it.
Duh!!! | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 2:54:19 PM | That is too @*&#&&# an ad hominem comment to comment upon.
That is all I will bother to comment: Mediterranean men do not get the female attention we get for nothing!!!
And we do not have to resort to such gimmicks for it.
Didn't write it for you Nick. What you get out of it is simply not important. You asked the question. There is no gimmick. I read what you wrote and you asked a question. It's not very complex really. Why would you ask such a question? Because you don't get it is why. | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 3:01:23 PM | "Didn't write it for you Nick. What you get out of it is simply not important. You asked the question. There is no gimmick. I read what you wrote and you asked a question. It's not very complex really. Why would you ask such a question? Because you don't get it is why."
The fellow poster's alleged reply to my question constitutes a reply?
Mixing passionate sex with violence and a certain language is "freeing"?
Oh well, whatever, nuff said. | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 3:45:27 PM | Freeing isn't the word that should have been used. It is more like a release of inhibitions. A release...a fantasy...a chance to let go of all your prim and proper behavior. Most people only let go like that with someone that they are extremely comfortable with. Yes some people are just nasty and say it to demean women but I question the woman who is having sex with someone like this. Either you don't know him well enough to be having sex with him or he is not the person you thought he was.
I think that if you two know each others boundaries than what's said in bed staying in bed. Don't ever do or say anything that will keep you from being able to look at the other person the next morning.  | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 3:53:59 PM | I think it varies person to person and depend a lot on the mood / situation. There are time when talking dirty is a turn-on, and times where I laugh out loud when I hear it.
Situation is everything - it wouldn't work well to say "I'm going to f*ck you harder with this big c*ck you sl*t" in a candlelit room with romantic music playing. (insert laughter )
I actually can't think of a situation where that would work for me at all (not saying all dirty talking is bad) - but I'm sure there are plenty of people w/creative ideas that could find a time and place for something like that. | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 3:54:14 PM | like i said earlier, theres nothing wrong with dirty talk but i never contemplated taking it up a level and trying the 'nasty' words and phrases...but this thread opened my mind a little so i showed it to my partner.....so we tried it..and after having the 'giggles' for a good 20 mins...i gotta say...it really does work...liberating to say the least lol!!
however i wouldn't always use this method, gotta mix it up with the 'love making'...but this is definately worth adding to the mix... | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 4:07:29 PM | In sex, talk is cheap. It is action, inspiration/creativity, passion and durability that count, in my Mediterranean opin.
If so people find dirty talk liberating, so be it. But to imply that it is necessary for all to use such gimmicks to get max pleasure, well that is not ... liberal! lol | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 4:15:08 PM | | I find this thread title offensive EVERY time I see it. Never had any requests for demeaning language, but maybe that's due to the company I keep. | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 4:36:12 PM | how about action, inspiration/creativity, passion, durability and a few lil 'nasty' words to accompany those?....that would be an ideal mediterranean combination me thinks lol...
seriously, each to their own but it's very presumptious to judge sexual role play between loving couples and label it as a 'gimmick' just because it doesn't suit your own style of 'lovemaking'...it's not a necessary thing, just an option, that you dont have to choose... | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 5:02:02 PM | | I've got to say, it really turns me on to call a girl a slut, whore, etc. during sex. Colour me sexist I suppose, but I'm not ashamed of what I like. | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 5:09:31 PM | | yeah i sure wouldnt want my man calling me a whore or **** during sex the only thing he would get from that is my foot in his balls | |
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Posted: 10/10/2007 5:43:20 PM | i dont have much for words cause relatively im quiet but if it turned him on yes i would say ok cause really im to busy to hear them lol.
this does not mean i need to be taught manners or tell others that they are wrong cause they dont do what i do wtf. and how is it disrespectful if one likes it.
just cause one likes something and it differs to how you were taught or raised does not mean they are anything more than just doing what pleases them and turns them on. sexual satisfaction is to each their own cause i think i stand out from the normal thing and definately would make my grandparents blush and scream for the priest to save me lol.
must be classy and respectful to follow the sex manual than what we feel inside, shoot if it keeps up perhaps it will pass as a law not to slap some a$$ and yell whos your daddy. lol the sin tax on that. | |
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Posted: 10/11/2007 1:06:18 AM | "it's very presumptious to judge sexual role play between loving couples and label it as a 'gimmick' just because it doesn't suit your own style of 'lovemaking'...it's not a necessary thing, just an option, that you dont have to choose..."
If "loving couples" need spicing up with dirty words to keep the flame going, then, IMO, they might as well start realising that the spark is gone and start planning the next phases of their life apart, ans re-joining the "pond". IMO, of course.
a) IMO "dirty talk" is a "gimmick" that shows absence of other, more fundamental erotic and sexual "actors" in the rel.
b) IMO "violent sex" (beyond dirty talk) is either a result a depressed non sexual complexes. I would not indulge in them either 3 weeks or 3 years into a rel. The line between passionate sex and violence during sex is not thin at all. I do not treat my sexual partners as "punching bags". If I need to release "anger", I will do it to a "punching bag" (that's what they are for) not on my sex partner or even another human being.
Sex is neither dirty or violent and associating it with such things, may be a person's individual right (between consenting adults, but make sure you get it in wtiting) but they do help paint sex in a negative color in an era when puritanism is back (especially in the US) and needs all the arguments it can get to prove to us that sex is a dirty sin! So let us not do them any favors.
Sex is an expression of positive feelings towards your partner, be in in an LTR or even, even, a one night stand! Otherwise, it is something to think about and seek assistance. Humans beings do not "fak" each other (that is another word for violence), they make love to each other, passionate, heated, steaming, inspired, hedonistic, fun., but if I ever realise that my idea of sexual fun involves violence towards my partner, then I will seek help. But that's me!
Sex is exchange of pleasure. BUT if a woman gets pleasure from having violence commited on her during sex (eg "choking") , then I am not going to give her that pleasure and I will move on. My body, my philosophy, my ethos, my nature and my choice. I do not use sex to release anger from the things that may oppress me in life. That is Machismo and a lot of other sydromes (that doctors have names for) at their worst. With all due respect to individual rights. We do not all have the same kind of "basic instincts".
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Posted: 10/11/2007 1:56:23 AM | sexual exchange between two lovers is way too complex to use logic or rationalization to define it...we all have certain boundries that measure how far we choose to go at any given time,and it varies from the 'norm' to the very 'extreme' ...nobody is right or wrong imo...however, it is all about individual perception and what each person defines as acceptable according to their own comfort level...
nick...you seem to have the notion that 'derogatory words' are linked to repressed anger or other unresolved 'complex' issues within the person... i can assure you that is not the case at all...it's merely giving the 'lady' part of the personality a sleeping tablet while the 'sex kitten' comes out to play free of pressure and inhibition ...often times many women do repress that 'kinky' side and imo that is more unhealthy...i have been guilty of that for a long time and now realise the importance of that side of me needing to have its own identity within me...
as to your reference to 'choking' and other related masochistic behaviours...that is on a completely other level beyond 'words' and a rather extreme example unrelated to merey taking the dirty talk up a notch...i do not understand this type of sexual expression nor do i wish to engage in it...however, people do for their own reasons and they are not hurting any one...without consent anyway...lol...so who am i to judge... | |
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Posted: 10/11/2007 2:47:49 AM | People take this all backwards... (hmmm backwards)
I'm going to relate this stereotypically but feel free to swap man and woman (or just one of them) if you like.
If a man is in bed with a woman and wants to lay bare everything he wants her to do and everything he wants to feel with her he lays bare a big chunk of who he is at the moment. That can be intimidating to both partners. Furthermore, it puts HER in the dominant position because he is revealing himself. The language of such things is by nature dirty. By taking the dirtiness of it over the top a little bit he can share this without appearing weak (to either of them, no woman wants their man to appear weak) and offer her insights into who she is and sexual power she may never have imagined getting from him. A very deep level of intimacy can develop from this. She gets the feeling that he's taking it from her when it is really a request. And in the moments, hours, and days after she carries within her more certain knowledge of something about who he is in his heart of hearts. That's compelling stuff and gives her the power position. They know what brings, not just some, but the absolute greatest pleasure to their partner in no uncertain terms and knowledge is power.
Nik has a point in that some may get stuck in BDSM games which allow one to enter this intimacy very fast and enjoy sexual experiences, at an emotional level, that some people outside the lifestyle never achieve. Unfortunately, sticking to them sometimes doesn't allow them to move beyond that to truly laying bare and naked before each other in body and soul and accepting and loving each other's weakness. Nevertheless, there's nothing wrong with a little play to help you get there. And one hopes you continue to play after you're there**. Its all supposed to be fun and as long as no one is getting genuinely hurt then I'll take a fun partner over one who knows that it must be done without "crutches" any day.
**BDSM people don't read what I'm saying as always being BDSM play. I'm just saying that sex should be able to be about playing. It could be role playing, BDSM play, geez even a little strip crazy 8s is play. None of it is a crutch. Its about enjoying each other. | |
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Posted: 10/11/2007 3:00:43 AM | | well have to say its all fun in the bed any relationship sex big part i love dirty talk never take it personally in the bed hahahah dont be scared it does excite some of us woman shit and theres many other things u can say in bed its all good if ur open minded and if ur fine with ur own sexuallity hahahah please | |
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Posted: 10/11/2007 5:48:48 AM | | well...the disrespectful and horrible language that we love during sex varies from girl to girl...i personally love being called a whore and a slut during sex...if you call me one any other time...ill seriously **** you up!...the bad language for me, kinda reminds me that you wanna be in control and for the second that youre callin me a nasty****suckin whore it makes me feel like youre taking away my innocence...the rush is kinda like losing your virginity in a way if that makes any sense. | |
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Posted: 10/11/2007 6:06:32 AM |
Sex is neither dirty or violent and associating it with such things, may be a person's individual right (between consenting adults, but make sure you get it in wtiting) but they do help paint sex in a negative color in an era when puritanism is back (especially in the US) and needs all the arguments it can get to prove to us that sex is a dirty sin! So let us not do them any favors.
I beg to differ. I'm not one for delving too deeply into to the psychological aspects of what makes sex good (for me, of course), because I see it as a basic, simple pleasure and analysis seems pointless. But a little fun dirty talk (again, to me) is in fact a rejection of puritanism - a defiance of it - rather than an expression of it.
But again, there's no right or wrong in these matters in my opinion. You're very correct when you say, "My body, my philosophy, my ethos, my nature and my choice. " There's no need for anyone to accept anything that's unacceptable to them. | |
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Deni30
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Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 375 | |
| Bitch take this dick.................
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:26:59 AM | I love it :) Not all the time of course. I am just an adventurous person who enjoys varity, intensity and passion. It's just SO hot with the right person! More people should just let go and explore adventurous new things- life is short and pleasure in short supply- i'll take it how/where/when I can!
and PS, I have very high self esteem- the fact that I am not an actual **** is what makes it so fun to pretend to be one for a while- complex concept for some of you I gather! lol
As far as kinky sex goes this is pretty minor people- what a bunch of stiff boring prudes! | |
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