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Posted: 9/13/2007 12:55:53 PM | | walkontheocean, i believe in some cases you may be correct as the act of surrender lets you leave all that baggage out of your head so it's ok and erotic. you could feel you are doing this for your partner and that makes it ok. my experience turned into trying something with my partner and discovering more of my sexuality. perhaps only when true intimacy exists you can explore your sexuality in such "taboo" ways. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 1:00:37 PM |
Self-Deprecation is a way in which people attempt to absolve themselves of guilt. When someone requests that someone else demeans them, it is often even more effective because they feel as though they can get away with what they are doing because they have been verbally abused....in essence, they have suffered for their sexual acts.
You are entitled to your opinion but from my viewpoint and experience what you just wrote is lacking experience and understanding. First off you are operating from the premise that what we are talking about is "deprication" or "debsement". This is not so. You are not understanding other facets of a woman's mind or even the human mind. So for now I am assuming you are refering to the OP's original post (presented poorly) and not the present conversation.
The exact opposite is true. A woman with low self self image, or an unhealthy sex image will in fact be strongly opposed to any of this at any level. | |
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kb924
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Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 128 | |
| Bitch take this dick.................
Posted: 9/13/2007 1:26:22 PM | | Ok.....I'm with ya! I like to be called "dirty" names. It adds to the excitement. I love to be thrown on a bed and be treated rough. However, in day to day life I would never allow for that kinda behavior. Maybe it's because sex is deemed as "dirty". Who knows, anyway, there are other b*tches out there that like it too. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 1:29:52 PM | Still don't no how to do a quote>>>
Your quote: The exact opposite is true. A woman with low self self image, or an unhealthy sex image will in fact be strongly opposed to any of this at any level.
Let me see if I am understanding you and is this your opinion? So you are saying that a woman would be opposed to this type of sexual experience of role playing in any shape or form - because they have a low self image or an unhealthy sex image???
Only ask, because I have a good self image and I have a healthy image about sex, and I would not want to be a part of a sexual experience where I am brow beaten with ugly names, or even being called a slut in a cute way. So, that's one woman that couldn't be part of your comment.
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Posted: 9/13/2007 1:31:04 PM | | cjgrgory- I love it. You know that I don't know what I am talking about, even though it was just my opinion, but your opinion is true where mine is not. Thanks buddy. LOL | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 1:51:20 PM |
cjgrgory- I love it. You know that I don't know what I am talking about, even though it was just my opinion, but your opinion is true where mine is not. Thanks buddy. LOL
No insult intended walkontheocean. I am absolutely certain.
There are times for tender passionate loving and times for snatching her up and ravaging her. I think that if you remove either of them it's a disservice and eventually could be a contributing factor in relationship failure.
On the flip side if your relationship is falling off on either of them it could be an early indicator of lessening affinity between the two. One, the other or both are contributing by not kicking a$$ an attacking life (all facets) like you should be doing. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 1:53:18 PM | hmmm let me chime in here... some women and men have issues as walkontheocean mentions in his posts. some like me and others on this thread find the rough sex, nasty sex, and even the make love sex with their partner very erotic. some TRULY it is not in their nature to want sex that way. We have heard from those here also. there is no wrong answer. we are what we are.
hopefully the ones that don't like this kind of role playing don't end up with someone that enjoys it. i think communication and understanding is very important. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 1:57:12 PM | | hello all,i'll tell you this i went out with a woman who was very hi class.we went out for about two weeks and then one night she said to me,LETS FU.. WELL OF CORSE I DID'NT TURN HER DOWN.but when we got home and was about half way there she ask me to call her all kinds of dirty words.ok so i did and she was realy turned on by this .it sure made sex alot of fun.But that did'nt make her anyless of a woman.from my point of view. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 1:58:11 PM | Brazen hit on the most important point "Communication."
Being honest with your partner and telling them
about what your sexual desires are could help avoid some very
awkward encounters, and also help the other person decide
whether or not they are compatible with you. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:10:26 PM |
The exact opposite is true. A woman with low self self image, or an unhealthy sex image will in fact be strongly opposed to any of this at any level.
Woah! That's just not true. You are way off base! I don't want to be called a whore in the bedroom. I do not have a low self image or an unhealthy sex image. In fact, I have a very healthy sex drive. I am friggin sexy. I know I'm great in the bedroom. I love talking dirty, but wanting to be called a whore just isn't on my hot list. That has no bearing on my having "issues" with sex or not.
Both the post you quoted, and yours that I've quoted above may be true for some people. Generally, wanting to be called derogatory names in the bedroom has nothing to do with self-image. It's personal preference. People of varying self-image issues/no issues will enjoy or not enjoy these words/acts randomly. There is no direct correlation between the two. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:11:56 PM |
Being honest with your partner and telling them
about what your sexual desires are could help avoid some very
awkward encounters
It's not really an anaylical procedure. I believe that if you approach it that way there will be errors in application of it as a tool, to deepen the experience.
It is somthing you FEEL through. You can tell without even talking about it, the start point, if in fact you are actually understanding your partner before hand. Noticing the place she is at, what is her mind like, who she is as a person. I don't have to have sex with her to already know these things.
A missapplication would only happen if the man is not cognizant of what is actually happening inside of her. There are plenty of women who are reading this thread who are now opposed to this that if it was done properly, would explode in passion. It is done on a gradient. There is really nothing to talk about if you understand what is happening inside of her. If you don't then of course you will be a failure at it. She might even string you up by your scrotum.
When was the last time to analytically tried to convince a woman to sleep with you and she actually did? Huh? She has to see you as well. This is about FEELINGS. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:26:29 PM | So why ladies. Why do you like to be cursed out while have sex with a man?
OP ~ I'm not laughing at you, but the way you phrased this is cute/funny to me.
~OT~ It's not being "cursed out" if done in the context it's meant to be used. There are those who like a little verbal humiliation. Some even like objectification (I don't get that one, being called a "chair" isn't my idea of a turn on, but to each their own.) What I can't understand is how so many judge those few who are honest. Dear me, we are all our own sexual beings, just because the warm/fuzzy "Let's make sweet love, precious." works for some, doesn't mean it is for everyone. I don't kiss and tell, but I will say ~ what goes on in my private life, is between me and the man in my life. I will add, there is little I find offensive when all is working appropriately. It's about communication and what each person finds erotic, or othewise stimulating.  yyyw
Edit: booboo, if you'll email, I'll show you how to "quote"!!! | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:29:09 PM | | if im doing a good job you wont have the breathe to speak and if you did .... well i can keep those flapping lips busy. one is best off not calling me anything. if one must speak just say thank you goddess. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:34:20 PM | dear cjgregory, it is my belief that some men and women are not wired and will not be open to name calling, hair pulling in the bedroom no matter how you approach it. my gf said she tried to do the dominant/sub role playing and she just burst out laughing. very much a buzz kill. but she at least tried it. luckily this wasn't a deal breaker for her loving and understanding husband.
i think you are putting a lot of pressure on the man to be cognizant of what is happening with a woman during lovemaking. most men (and some women too) from what i hear are clueless with just traditional sex. talking about this with my pof friend was enlightening and made it possible for me to talk to my partner about it. i still think communication is the best way. personally now (and this is just recent) i've discovered i don't think i could go back to ALL just mr or dr vanilla. i do enjoy seeing the pleasure my lover has and experiencing some of the darker side of sex. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:35:42 PM | Thanks vergreeneyez!
Oh, and by the way - never meant to judge and I apologize if it sounded like it.
I say all this in my own opinion and just trying to present my take on this type of encounters. Just not for me, but it might be good for someone else. Doesn't make me a prude, I have had a very adventurous sex life and it has been very wild, free, and exhilarating. I feel very confident in my self image, so CJ, you may have to correct your comment on your previous post. Way to general.  | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:36:54 PM | i think that anything is ok if it is between 2 people that agree to it.............as for myself, if anyone started called me demeaning things, well ya, he would get a good slap for sure, ....lol, there's nothing wrong with dirty talk but i prefer to keep the demeaning stuff out of it...............everyone has preferences and no one is any less of a lady or man, for liking what they like.................you can still be a "LADY" and still love all kinds of things behind closed doors................and that is exactly what it is, behind closed doors where you and your partner are the only ones who know........and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that
as for sex being deemed as dirty!! i don't think soooooooooooooo!!! that would be the farthest from the truth!!! | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:45:03 PM | hehehehe ok ya all know that we will have "**** take this**** in our profiles...?
greeneyes i will check out this objectifying Chair thing. got an image and it made me laugh.
and i agree i love it when they say "thank you goddess"
you guys are all amazing. isn't it interesting how we are as all much a like as we are different. very cool. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:48:24 PM |
as for sex being deemed as dirty!! i don't think soooooooooooooo!!! that would be the farthest from the truth!!!
aaahhh but dirty sex is the best sex  | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:48:32 PM | Oh man, i love to be told what a "dutty ****" i am!....adds to the fantasy. I swear, people who knew me would die if they knew half the stuff i get up to behind closed doors....it's always the quiet ones!  | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 2:59:21 PM | | well shannonnicole.....you got me there, and i do agree..........however i prefer to leave the demeaning name calling out...............i can honestly say that i don't like being called a sl-t or a wh--e or a c-nt...........i can't stand that...........but there are alot of other words out there that can be used ...and are!! | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 3:01:10 PM | shannon and claire,
i agree, and love it messy and dirty all the better. the best part is that you can be this ultra conservative, neat compulsive freak (which i am) in society and dirty and nasty with your lover. | |
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Posted: 9/13/2007 3:09:03 PM | It depends on the woman's self esteem or if she's been previously molested by "Uncle/Grandpa Joe" age 5-16 who told her the same things. Same for men. Some men like to be demeaned, critisized and ridiculed (see the movie "Jade") where men pay concubines big $$$ to be abused during sex because either the preist, "Uncle Joe", gym coach or the babysitter did the same.
I actually dumped a guy who said, "suck this d***k (w/out even saying b*tch)!" & walked out on him w/ his pants down, his erection up, ready to (never) get it from me again! And to all those guys & gals out there who like to be abused, critisized & demeaned during sex? See a counselor about why you enjoy being abused. You may actually admit to what those molesters did to you you during your childhood & have them arrested!!! | |
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