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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 7/16/2008 10:14:13 AM | Old thread revivied! I got this today from a friend, had seen it before but it made me laugh and wanted to share. A bit long but I think worth the read.
Letter to wife regarding reluctant husband who is being dragged along to do the weekly shop....
Dear Mrs. Cater,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Wigan is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House Wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in House Wares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the House Wares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were situated.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the theme tune from 'Mission Impossible'
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
'PICK ME, PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the fetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.' | |
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pign
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Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 56 | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 7/16/2008 10:36:08 AM | 1. When I just came to UK I did not speak much of English.
I was looking to buy a male shirt and I asked the male sales assistant whether they sell skirts like his one
2. I was flirting with a guy ( a waiter?) who was carrying a basket of knifes and forks in a middle of a shopping centre and caused him to drop it all and it all fell into the gaps of an escalator and nearly causing an explosion. | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 7/16/2008 10:48:55 AM | I walk up to cheap unbranded sandwich toasters, adopt my best Elvis sneer and break into a lusty version of "You're the Breville in disguise!"
Superglue shopping trolleys together, and watch poor folk try their damnest to prise them apart
Walk home with an accidentally superglued trolley attached to my hand
Attend the police station for criminal damage charges with a piece of sawn off steel shopping trolley handle still attached to my hand
Later that month...
Wear a t-shirt that simply proclaims "Do NOT sell this idiot superglue" | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:05:28 AM | | Try on the strangest combination of clothes and try to keep a straight face when asking the assistant if it looks ok. | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:06:03 AM | Oh I remember a really silly one 
It was someone's birthday and I was shopping for a last minute present, this was after work and in the City.
So I went to the Superdrug and grabbed the purple shopping basket. Was really in a hurry so I went to the perfume section, bought a perfume and as I was coming out got a phone call that my friends were running really late and our meeting place and time was changed. I thought I should kill tsome time by the browsing books in WHSmith. And I went there.
The security guy was following me constantly, I got annoyed and asked him whether they are closing, his answer was negative but he did not take his eyes of me. From WHSmith I went to Boots and then to another little shop. It started snowing really badly, you could not see a finger in from of your eyes. It was also getting dark and once I came to the lights of the tube station I relised I am still carrying the big purple shopping basket I picked at the Superdrugs.
Oh what a shame!! Felt like everyone was looking at me at the tube station, do not know what to do so quietly dropped the basket next to a guy who was sitting on a bench and was reading ( obviously interesting hehe) book under the snow. | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:19:27 AM |
For children in need one year i got dressed up as a nun. I walked into tesco's got a bottle of whisky, then stood in line at the cigerette counter. People were looking at me and laughing, so i held up my cross, "i know i'm a nun, but we all sin sometimes, god bless you my child" .
Next year get some KY jelly as well  | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:25:31 AM | if there are checkered square floor titles I'll only walk on the black ones.....this is not racist, i know how you lot take things on ere  | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:31:58 AM |
if there are checkered square floor titles I'll only walk on the black ones.....this is not racist, i know how you lot take things on ere
Now you've done it! This is gonna be discussed in parliament tomorrow, and chess will probably get banned too. Well done!  | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 8/25/2008 3:10:20 PM | walk up a person who works in the store and just ask them if your going the right way dont say wat yr wanting only that
excuse me am i going the right way
or fart and run away and let who ever is with you take the blame  | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 8/25/2008 3:16:28 PM | | I like to fill up a trolley with nothing but cans of beer and just a small pack of babies nappies sat on top. Then,when at the till and the cashier tells you the amount due,pretend not to have enough money and say you'll have to put the nappies back. The look on their face is priceless. | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 8/25/2008 4:38:17 PM | | knock one out down the spices and seasonal food isle, never anyone there but the camera that is round on the ceiling, but i know the position it can't get me at, hahahar | |
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| crazy things to do while shopping???
Posted: 8/26/2008 8:03:39 AM | | me and my sister ,would go to the petrol station,she would put petrol in then go pay, when she got to the sweet/choc isle she would pik each item up and show me it while im still sat in car,point at it and ask in loud voice,do you want this lol,and i would say no to each item till she went right back to the first one and i would say it dosnt matter i dont want owt,the anger on the face of the ppl in the car behind us was priceless lol.thiss was more than 16 yrs ago bt i would still find it funny today , | |
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