| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 9/29/2005 1:24:32 PM | | i have been givin alot of info on both sides of the fight here....from men and women...and not one side is right or wrong....maybe i can use some of this information if i ever do find a man ...ty | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 9/29/2005 9:21:42 PM | And yes us 40's and older single men don't want the darn games and the wondering if she wants me games ! You gotta tell us and yeah show us you want us !
So in order to get one of us single over 40's nice men all you ladies have too do is make up your mind and decide do you want to commit to a relationship or just sit back and date many younger ones who don't want anything to do with commitment !!
And thats what you lovely ladies gotta get figured out ! | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 6/30/2006 7:23:30 PM | | well from what i've seen on these sites some ladys are really picky and rightly so some men are pigs but not all if you set standereds to high thats what your gonna get players you have to look in the profile read between the lines for me its hard to meet ladys because i drive truck and the majority of people think all truckers are trashy horndogs so right off the bat i'm considered second class you need to get to know who your talking to check them out persay its yours and your kids life theres someone for everyone | |
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LL3
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Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 55 | |
| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 6/30/2006 7:55:28 PM | jingram3....
What you find for the most part is that a lot of the ladies think that they can be that choosy and pass up the rest of the pack thinking that we're all a bunch of horn dogs, but sadly, what I"ve seen ends up happening....... A LOT, not all of them way overshoot who and what they are and blow it large.
Sucks to be them that passed what they deem second rate over, but no worries dude...It truly is their loss..
So, in saying that.....ladies....if you want a man who's willing to commit, look beyond the candy shell and enjoy the goodness of what you aren't seeing yet.....
Doesn't life just suck sometimes? Ya just never know who's what, and what's who.. | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:08:24 PM | if you dont like the idea that your dating a man who is dating other women and having sex with them then why are you dating him?
You seriously need to give your head a shake.....it does not matter if they think there is nothing wrong with it.......it matters what you think.... | |
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.lisa
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Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 57 | |
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uppity
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Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 58 | |
| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:44:33 AM | It never ceases to amaze me.
Tired of losing the game?
Change the rules, change yourself.
Try wrapping your brains around this :)
Polyfidelity is a multi-adult family structure in which clusters of best friends come together around shared values, interests, life goals and mutual attraction. Inside such a Best Friend Identity Cluster (B-FIC), family members are non-monogamous, relating to all their partners without a hierarchy of preference. Thus in a heterosexual polyfidelitous B-FIC, each of the women has a sexual relationship with each of the men, and no group member relates sexually to anyone outside the family group.
While different groups might work out different methods for determining who will sleep with whom every night, the method used successfully by actual polyfides in the United States is the 'balanced rotational sleeping schedule.' This arrangement has each person sleeping with a different partner each night, sequentially (using the chronological order of when people joined the group as the sequence), until at the end of the list, at which time she/he comes back around to the first person again.
Romantics might consider such a system too 'mechanical', but those who use it think it is a marvellous way to ensure that every twosome in a B-FIC has equal and ample time to build their own special, one-to-one intimacy. Being non-preferential does not imply that the relationship inside any dyad (set of two people) is identical. Every combination has its own unique qualities (called 'lovjoy' by practitioners of polyfidelity) which does not have to compete with any other dyadic relationship.
Polyfidelity offers a number of obvious advantages over more traditional family and intimacy styles. It caters to the desires of those who like sexual variety, yet allows this to occur in the context of lasting, deep, meaningful relationships. This blend of spice and stability is very refreshing to people who, in other situations, have had to forfeit a stable home life in order to experience variety, or vice versa.
The problem of having unrealistic expectations of what one partner can provide that often occurs in two-adult families is solved; no one individual needs to be all things to anyone else. For single parents, or parents in general, a polyfidelitous household is a marvellous environment in which to raise children. The burden of responsibility and care that would otherwise fall on one or two individuals is spread out throughout the group, which allows the adults to be involved in many activities besides childcare, and gives the children a healthy assortment of good role models; adults with whom to build caring, trusting relationships.
Interesting? By the way, the author of this article, written 25 years ago, is now living in a monogamous, one on one marriage.
Wow!!!
Happy Hunting. | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 7/2/2006 11:19:03 PM | Personally I've only dated one woman at a time, but I do know friends that have dated multiple women at once. I think it is important at some early point in the dating relationship to decide if the relationship is becoming exclusive and both people agree to this. Don't just assume over time it is understood.
You could try turning the table and see how they would feel if you mention to them about dating someone else to give them your view point. However this could end up being interpreted as a threat tactic.
Simpliest advice don't get too involved until after a commitment exists!!! Things that last take time to build. | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:05:26 PM | I am not convinced that just those judging worth based on 'eye candy' do not commit. I think there is always learning through past events. A person may have been in a relationship where the partner was not commited. Thus they will look for that trait in the next partner and may not give them time to commit. Fight or flight. Run before you get hurt.
But LL3 you're right. 'ya just never know who's what and what's who.' That takes time and energy with no guarantees for success. | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 7/8/2006 12:11:53 PM | | we are out here though maybe few and far between. but we do exist. I find that the man you are talking about is a true player and looking just for sex with as many women as he can get. but you would be smart to get rid of him. I agree though a man shouldnt be sleeping around if you have been dating him that long. though im not sure if he made the commitment to you but it seems you made the commitment to him. like you i find the same thing when dating someone and as soon as sex is apart of the relationship i am true to the lady i am with. and commit myself to that person giving the relationship a chance. but you need to communicate to each other and know where the relationship is before having sex with that person and if he is willing to commit and not see anyone else if he isnt that should tell you to move on before someones feelings gets hurt. | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 7/8/2006 12:28:50 PM | <-- been committed, jacket was too tight! 
which is why I'm single right now, and just looking for friends. I don't agree with sleeping with more than one at a time, especially after the relationship has developed over a couple of months. I don't sleep around, it complicates things too much.
ps - does anyone realize this is an old thread? Good one to revive tho. | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 7/8/2006 3:54:53 PM | Funny how some threads "never die" ...
Anyway, had to add my $0.02 in response to this:
"problem is the guys are 40's ..sucessful now because they poured themselves back into work and guess who reaps the benefits? thats right the 26 yr receptionist who dated all the wrong guys off the sites and finally took notice of " that really nice guy" in the office."
oh, puh-leeze!
the great majority - and note i did NOT say all - of those guys in their 40s are going after the 26 year old receptionist and NOT women in their own age range.
the ones who've "poured themselves into work" feel they deserve that as their "reward".
so they overlook the women with the wrinkles and the grey hair and the extra pounds in favour of the Barbie dolls. and you see THAT all the time on these dating sites! ...
I do concede that you emphasized "... not all ... guys in their 40s ..."
However, just to set the record straight: The young ladies who pursue me have often remarked that "guys their age are so immature" ... (their words, not mine).
And, IMHO, younger women often seem to be less bitter ... | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 7/8/2006 4:42:51 PM | Well as far as I know or any other person can say how could someone think of even dating someone who's afraid to post their pic up !!LOL
Look you can not get someone to commit to a relationship if your not willing to be the real you and yeah if your a shamed of how you look then sure it will be hard to find someone .
So first off. Bloody well smile right now. Okay head off to the bed room and look in the bloody mirror and have a good look at your self . Well do you like who you see ??
Okay so you look pretty good . So get your self a picture of you and post it up in your profie . Now everyone who's interested in what your profile has in it can also see the lovely person whom this profile is about . And then you'll probbly start getting emails from alot of people who feel your their type of a match . And I bet maybe one or two of them would be more then willing to commit to a relationship .
I could be wrong but 99.9% would say I am right .   | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 7/28/2006 6:57:36 PM | | I thought that about girls too,I'd be happy with one girl,but I haven't found her.I just found this..lol..It's not a bad thing to be alone,but it does suck sometimes.Things happen when you least expect it.Don't try so hard. | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:35:37 PM | | if your dating someone for 4 or 5 months and they are having sex with other women then thats not called dating. It's called a "roll in the hay" | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 8/6/2006 8:10:51 AM | | I think after having sex the person needs to talk and see what is going on if one person is dating others--either someone is not understanding what is going on or else they are just playing the field. | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 8/6/2006 8:14:27 AM | | read a few replies and I have to agree if you are looking for long term you have to meet people and nook at a pic and say "not for me" and as for the ladies--cougars who love the younger men, well good luck though I doubt if guys will see you as a long term if they ever find out about it. | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 8/6/2006 8:39:23 AM | I think it is difficult to find a person of either gender for both of you to want to committ. We have so many different options in dating and finding mates with online dating. Both genders tend to be more picky and they should be. I say have some patience, they will come along. After all 20 years from now, will it matter that it took you 4 months or 3 years to find that special one. No, it wont. A few months or a few years is worth waiting to find a lifetime of happyness.
It is also easier to make excuses and blame each gender, than to look at yourself and make adjustments. So I say, stop pointing the finger and go out and find who you want, but make sure you also have alot to offer. | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 8/6/2006 3:12:52 PM | If you do not know that his loyalty is with you in all respects then it's possible that sleeping with him is a presumption that you made of the relationship.
Been there, done that to my friend. You don't have to have sex to be with someone & it's definatly not a commitment of any kind to many, many men.
There are good ones, I hope. He might be the right one, but if he's a good one & it's meant to be, he might stick around...and if he doesn't, then really...was he worthy of you? | |
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| Why cant i find a man willing to commit
Posted: 8/6/2006 4:01:37 PM | Well all I know is you can't find someone willing to commit to a relationship if you are not ready to commit to one your self !!
So if the guy is seeing others then what are you doing ?? Maybe you said to him that you just want to be friends right now ! So if your not willing to commit then why does he have too refrain from seeing others ?? And if they decide they want sex with him then why are you so uptight ??
Look if you expect someone to commit to you then you have too be straight up front about your feelings and intentions with anyone you meet . So if its just friends your gonna tell every person you meet then that does not say your commiting !And so they can date others and you should not be worrying what he does if your not looking for comitment !
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