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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 1:34:24 AM | I used to like you ladies alot more than I do now. Here's the deal:
While you're getting a single, effective and desireable boyfriend, I'm getting the same in a woman PLUS the prospect of father-in-lawhood as well as the 'baggage' that the kids bring along. This includes needing babysitters, midnight wakeups, FAR less time between you and I, me not getting a reasonable amount of attention/ affection in comparison to what I put out,(to both YOU and YOUR KIDs) and overall, it's just imbalanced and sucks.
The nasty thing is that I've seen alot of women start to take for granted the notion that this guy is biting off WAY more by showing up, than the ladies are. They even fail to realize that the guy is taking SO MUCH OF A RISK in that if the relationship falls apart after his heart has opened up to the kids and he loves them like he's their actual father, he doesn't get to ever see them again and goes from being "Dad" figure to NOTHING, instantly and I've had this happen to me.
I'll still tangle with single mom's, but you ladies have to be so much more Extra awesome to make up for all the extra work you require, all the extra risks I have to take and all the extra people you bring into the relationship,(1kid, 2 kids, etc.) | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 1:40:04 AM |
8soldierfalcon8 I'm not saying that your not entitled to your opinon , however what i am saying is when you make a comment like this ' accepting consequences for bad decisions' its seems to be a tad harsh don't you think . Childern are what 'consequences ' lol well i heard people call them something but that !!! omg . Thank good ness NOT all men think like you .
True, not all men think like me.... but a lot do. The difference is, that I have the bawls to just say it and not tippy-toe around the issue.
I don't know your kids. I don't like your kids. If I were interested in you before I knew you had kids, it would be a deal breaker. Your kids are expensive, they are 50% of your x's DNA, and most importantly, they are not mine.
Your kids give you less free time, a more complicated life, and once again, they are not mine.
Your kids are your kids. Not mine.
Are you getting the trend here?
I'm really not trying to be offensive here. This is just logic. Plus, when dating a woman with children, for ever child she has, that is another compatibility issue. Caring for a woman, but not liking her kid will not work. If the kid doesn't like you, it will cause problems. You have to like the child too.
Dating is hard enough as it is without throwing another compatiblity issue or two into the equation. Much less having baby daddy drama.
You know reading most of this topic makes me laugh ........no really it does.... i mean most peopleo here over 40 have got childern , and in one way or another have become single does it really matter how or why , and we're here on a 'DATING' site i use that term loosey , because to be honest it just appears to be a place where people are just taking a cheap shot at one another for having childern ........Who are you people who assume that any single parent male or female is in fact not worth the time of day ???? ..............Does that also mean that divorced people are not worth anything either i mean come on they where married must be something wrong they an't no more are they , those whose are parents who's childern donot live wtih them are they worthless too??
If your still have Huge chip on your shoulder becasue of past relationships that have not worked what the hell are you doing on a dating site .......?
Heard the old saying ' Never judge a book by its cover'
People may of become single parents for a number of reasons .......they got married way to young .......they may of been in a voilent relationship , they could of simply not loved who they where with any more , the other person may of had an affair , the childern may have been at risk so they had to leave for the childerns sake ...the list is endless and YET supposedly GROWN UP people seem to be so narrow mind that they just think .........they are used up and way past there sell by date ....Get a grip and grow up reading most of the anti parent post on here i would of thought they where wrote by totally naive teenagers ............not by supposed Adults .
Chidern are a blessing no matter if there parents are together or not .
I'm so glad that there are people in this world who are not as narrow minded the bitter ones on here ...get at grip!
^^^ Your ranting and raving about this is not going to change the minds of the many, many men out there who don't want to raise another man's kid.
If you really want to know why we think the way we do, just read the last few pages of this thread, and look at what everyone has said objectively.
I don't care about your kids. I have never met them. I have not one shred of emotion for your children one way or another. If you can dissasociate yourself from your feelings for your children, and look at the issue through the eyes of someone who sees your kids as constant reminders of your x, and little people who are one half of his DNA....
.. and most of all, NOT OURS!
Then perhaps you can understand.
Even if I were over 40, and had my own kids, there is no way that I would want to date someone who had children of their own.
Why?
Because I don't want to raise another man's kids! Ever!~
I am not expecting you to be happy with our opinions on this, but at the very least you should understand where we are coming from and not be so angry.
It's just like someone with herpes getting all bent out of shape that some people will not date them. Some people will date a person with herpes, some won't.
Some people got herpes knowingly, and some people had it just happen to them.
Either way, it's baggage from a past relationship that some people will be ok with, and some are grossed out by.
Get it?
-8sf8 | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:30:52 AM | Wow we're up to 105 pages now. You'd think that the question would be answered. Some do some don't. I look at it this way:
Dating is difficult. Trying to maintain a long term realtionship is difficult. Blending a family is heroic. This is why (as a single dad) I don't get mad at women that choose not to date me because I have a child. It is totally their loss, for I am awesome, and getting better with time.
Then you have to think about the logistics of the thing. Sitters, Lunch dates, (the other parent) finanical obligations and so on. There are a lot of things for a person to consider should they choose to date a single parent. Then you want to consider the age of the childern and the amount of commitment on your part should it become serious. So, it is a risk for a childless person, become involved with a single parent. Not all single parents are equal.
Gadget. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:38:33 AM | 8soldierfalcon8 lol I don't mind going toe to toe with You on this like I say you have your opinion But like I said .................so Why don't you sit still and pay attention ......so Are you sitting comfortable ? I shall begin then shall I ?
As you have correctly said my children are mine yes that is correct and yes they have a father of which I am no longer with , But what you are also failing to understand is this ...I Most certainly DON'T expect or want another man to help me financially bring up my children I am too much of an independent person to even being to think that, as you say MY KIDS there for anything they need or want comes from one person .ME !
I'm also not wanting any man to be what you seem to think ' a replacement father ' LOL they have one and yes I have contact with him so what ?.........he's Married now, LOL.
No one is raising my children but me its my job end of simple as got that ......you Sure ? ....good!
However what you are also saying is that I am not allowed to be myself either I have a label ' Parent' and that is it? Ha ha ha ha ha Really ?.............Well Really sorry to inform you but I like every other parent I have two labels ' Parent ' and also my Name . You know what ............Yes I even have a job .............on My payslip is says my name too wooooooow amazing innit . The car I own has my name on it , my house has my name on it , you getting my drift ....?
I like other single parents have my own life time you know that thing you think we don't have 'FREE TIME' My time and like other single parents I do lots of things with it too.
Also if you care to look back on this topic you might even see what is being said in general here which is the one thing that is really winding me up is this .........A Single dad who has his children living with him ......Well He's 'the man' 'Go on lad good for you ' Way your great ' However!!!!!!!!!!!! Different isn't when its a woman .......its A big fat 'O rite you've got children ERM'
Lmao talk about double standers .
We can argree to disargee on this for ever and a day ...........what i am saying is donot argee with you at all simple as . | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:04:43 AM |
Chidern are a blessing no matter if there parents are together or not .
Ok... So explain to me how (your) children are a blessing to ME. Instead of stating they are, just lay out all the advantages that children are so that I can see how they'd be a blessing to me.
I'm also not wanting any man to be what you seem to think ' a replacement father ' LOL they have one and yes I have contact with him so what ?.........he's Married now, LOL.
No one is raising my children but me its my job end of simple as got that ......you Sure ? ....good!
So basically then you're saying that a man dating you has absolutely no involvement in your kids right? The kids never need to be spoken to. Any discipline, can be dealt with by you... perfect. If you're not around the guy can phone their father and have him pop over and discipline them. Even better....
If we're going out - even to the Mall, or McDonalds or a nice restaurant, we leave them at home or with a sitter... we treat tham as if they don't exist.
If we move in together, we don't need a larger place? A one bedrom apartment should be enough for two adults then.
One of those nice two seater coupe's will be a perfect car for those impromptu weekend getaways to a nice romantic hotel or bed and breakfast for just the two of us...
Think of those nice quiet evenings when you walk in the door and I have dinner for two and candles waiting for you. How romantic, maybe afterwards we can lie around naked on the rug in front of the fireplace with a bottle of wine. Oh.... did we forget something....?
See, as much as you'd like to pretend kids are not going to change a relationship. They do... it would be nice if they didn't to be truthful, there are a lot of really great single moms out there... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:13:45 AM |
Also if you care to look back on this topic you might even see what is being said in general here which is the one thing that is really winding me up is this .........A Single dad who has his children living with him ......Well He's 'the man' 'Go on lad good for you ' Way your great ' However!!!!!!!!!!!! Different isn't when its a woman .......its A big fat 'O rite you've got children ERM'
Lmao talk about double standers .
Well, there are enough threads on single fathers who can't get woimen to date them if you look hard enough....
1... Last time I looked, being a single father doesn't leave you with stretchmarks, a belly 'pouch', bladder incontinence, droopy breasts and a loose penis....
2... Men are not geared to raising our rivals DNA. Hell, in the wild, many males will kill the offspring of a rival male... Be glad humans are not quite that cold blooded.
3... In instances of divorce, separation etc....Single moms often get the kids by default. A single Dad had to prove he was the better parent to get the kid... therfore worthy of praise... (as is a single mom if she proved she was the better parent)
4... Very few single dads get welfare. If a single mom goes on welfare it's not a big deal. If a single dad goes on welfare, the system takes their kid away and gives it to the mother... no double standard there.... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:14:06 AM | "Do men exist that date women with kids?"
Apparently there's one or 2 but apparently now they think they have to be financially responsible so they're telling the rest of the population how bad all women are!
It's making things increasingly hard to find anyone to believe we aren't all like that!!! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:42:48 AM | OK---
1.Women aren't into looks as much as men are, what women are after is a guy who will give them his TIME and MONEY. Single fathers may not have stretchmarks but the time and attention they can give to women is stretched out between his children and the new girlfriend (not good!) belly pouch? droopy breasts? bladder incontinence?? loose cootchie??? Yes see what women go through to have kids thats why they keep custody of them when couples separate. It must suck to be a non custodial mom to have all that crap wrong with her body then have the father take the kids from her and on top of that she has to pay child support. I bet most non custodial moms regret having thier children and wish they just had an abortion.
2.Women arent geared to raise another womans DNA either. What woman would want to babysit and clean up after another womans kids. Most single custodial dads are ostracized by women. It's actually much easier for a single mother to remarry than a single custodial father. I know a single dad who hasn't dated in years and he told me he will probably have to wait untill his kids move out of the house before he can get a woman.
3.Yes moms usually get the kids after a divorce she had to go through all the pregnancy, birth and breast feeding crap and her body got trashed in the process- stretchmarks, wrecked tits (need a boob job) maybe a nasty cesearean scar. Womens bodies are made to bear children so they are weaker than mens and get periods and pms and all that crap. Men are built to provide for the woman thats why the have muscles and strength and can work longer and harder than women and arent burdened with menstration and female hormones and emotions that negativly affect work performance.
Women are built to raise kids,men are built for protecting and providing.--- Men getting custody of children is unnatural. Men arent supposed to be nurturers (thats what women are for) Women are not attracted to men with effeminate attributes they want a real manly man. Not some dude who sits around watching sesame street and changing diapers. Men who have custody are not always the better parents (studies have shown that abusive men are far more likely to file for full custody) Also maybe the custodial father was able to afford a better attorney.
When the man gets a new woman she will be doing the majority of the child rearing so thats why moms get custody because there is no point giving the kids to the dad so the step mom or girlfriend has to take care of another womans kid. There really is no point in giving dads full custody unless his ex is an abusive druggie. Men who file for full custody are usaully just being vindictive or trying to get out of paying child support.
4. Very few single dads get welfare-- yes of course because men are better providers than women and can work longer hours and didnt have to put thier career on hold with all the pregnancy and birth crap....... He's just a man doing what men are supposed to do (PROVIDE) but who is doing the feminine nurturing while he works? When a custodial dad has his new wife taking care of the kids is that a form of welfare??? YES it is. He is putting the nurturing burden on his new women to raise another womens kids. (watch his kids, clean up after them, cook for them...) When single moms get the manly contribution of $$$ from the government it's WELFARE. When single dads get the feminine contribution of nuturing (babysitting, cleaning up after and cooking) from his new woman who has to take on the unfortunate task of raising another woman's kids that is also a form of WELFARE.
Single mothers are looking for $$$$$--if she marries a guy her new guy will be burdened with paying her $$$$$. Most men wont MARRY single mothers, but most men will date them to get what they want from them (SEX).
Single dads are a looking for sex and free maid/baby sitting service----if he marries a women she will be burdened with raising another womans children. Most women won't MARRY single fathers, and most wont date them either!!  because they cant give a woman what she is after which is TIME and $$$$$! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:48:04 AM | | Works both ways. I cannot find a woman to date me in my age demographic because I have a 5 and a 7 year old. Same ol same ol....been there reaised mine and now I am moving on.... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 12:14:34 PM | lmao m church if your going to try to pull my argument to bits well at least try a bit harder ....geez I've never come across rubbish in all my life hahha. Like I've said anyone else who's tried to pull us single mums down .......You Have your opinion and........................................................................? What LOL absolutely nothing that's what ...........does It effect any single mum on here ????? Nope not at all. I never said that any of you had to get involved with a single mum at all .............did I?????? No think you will find I didn't .
What I said ..............omg For the .......well It looks like it ant going to be the last time ......does It.... Anymore ..........for Anymore ???? I said that I think your opinion is wrong .................and ? Well none of you that are here pulling us single mums don't like the fact that we can and do stand up for ourselves.
Let me see how can I pull what you said apart .......ok Here you go you said 'basically then you're saying that a man dating you has absolutely no involvement in your kids right' Correct no way would I introduce a guy to my children until I had been seeing him for sometime .
Next you said 'Any discipline, can be dealt with by you... Perfect. If you're not around the guy can phone their father and have him pop over and discipline them'
Correct on the first count only yep I would deal with anything discipline ( pmsl my kids are a bit old for that but this is what you saying so I will play along ) Ringing there father hahhaha you can try he never answers his phone and as for him popping over to discipline them  doubt it he lives in another rather along way couple of hundred miles away
You also said '.If we move in together, we don't need a larger place? Nope !!! I have a 4 bedroom house thanks verymuch !
You also said 'If we're going out - even to the Mall, or McDonald's or a nice restaurant, we leave them at home or with a sitter... We treat them as if they don't exist'
Lol oh dear if you thought going out for a meal was going to md's hahhaha you defo need to brush up on your dating skills that's for sure .LOL LOL | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 1:05:50 PM | The last girlfriend I had for 8 yrs has kids.
The problem had been. I could only see her every other weekend when she did not have the kids.
I'm very surprised my blood pressure had not gone up 30 points due to that. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 1:58:38 PM | So how long does "dating" go on before you commit or move on? How long before ya ask...where is this going?
I'm sorry Potter... You obviously seem to have a disdain toward woman in general! I'm sorry you have such deep seated resentment...and continue to ask myself...wow I wonder what this person is really like? Then I realize I'm not really that interested!
Yes men do actually date women with kids if they have the ability to want to share something. Other people will just continue to be grouchy and stingy with everything from affection down to every dollar value. Men and woman are no different we each have to go through a lot of bad apples to find a mate without a worm. 
I'm sorry to all those bitter, sour apples ..........because it's not gonna stop me from biting until I find the right one!  Trust me...it might be surprisingly delightful!  | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 2:06:51 PM | Well I'm glad you thought it was funny...
Correct no way would I introduce a guy to my children until I had been seeing him for sometime .
Ok... now, suppose you spend a long time getting to know a really great guy and when you finally intro him to your kids... they just don't get along...? I've had that happen, spent 6 months dating, a wonderful lady only to have her kids break it up within a couple of weeks, because they could not and would not accept me as her boyfriend... or any other guy either... she's still looking....
My current G/F has kids... they caused us to break up. The went out of their way to break us up... then they broke up her and her next b/f's too... We got back together after her kids moved out and we've been great ever since... but we went through a year and half apart because of them...
But seriously though, if you were involved with a guy long term how would you see his role with the kids...? It's easy to say that the guy would not be supporting the kids etc, but in reality he does... everything you do costs more when kids are involved... even down to the cost of food, utilities, housing... possibly even to him paying a larger deduction from his wages for family as opposed to single benefits... It's not like you're going to go to a restaurant as a family and he's going to pay for you and him and then you pick up the kid's tab....
He has to get involved with them to some extent... and they will affect him and he will affect them... there has to be a dialogue on how they're supposed to interact... sure some kids and some guys get along great... but a lot of the time, especially if the other parent is still around, the kids really do resent the newcomer to the family...
Correct on the first count only yep I would deal with anything discipline Well, that was one of the things that broke us up. The kids would be good as gold when she was around, and go out of their way to cause trouble when she was out of the house... and if I told her anything, she alway said she can't punish them if she didn't witness it....
You also said '.If we move in together, we don't need a larger place? Nope !!! I have a 4 bedroom house thanks verymuch !
Nice... however, after learning that moving into an established house is a nightmare, ( too much, that can't go there, or this doesn't fit etc) I'd rather both adults move to a new place...
Lol oh dear if you thought going out for a meal was going to md's hahhaha you defo need to brush up on your dating skills that's for sure
Actually I've been to McD's only once in the last year.... if you only go once in a blue moon it almost tastes like food.... LOL | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 2:38:25 PM | Mchurch we still dancing toe2 toe ? LOL OK here we go again ding ding round 2 ( no idea how you do that little quote thing I'll just copy n paste it works for me )
Rite on your last list of questions you said in short ( your version is long ) if IM seeing a guy for a while and then I introduce him to children ....in Short how? Easy .....you Know I have really good relationship with my children firstly I have talked to my children about it ..........when I've had relationships I've told them about them , about the person I am seeing at the time , I've also said to my children that I will be with someone long term one and that is totally fine with them , They know that apart from being mum to them I am my own person too.
If for instance they did not get on with the man I had introduced them too I would sit them down and ask why and I would try to sort out a middle ground ....what You have to understand is that children do get protective over the parent they are live with mainly ..............why ???? They don't want that parent to get hurt again . Children are a lot wiser than people give them credit for .
You also said :Nice... However, after learning that moving into an established house is a nightmare, ( too much, that can't go there, or this doesn't fit etc) I'd rather both adults move to a new place...
That's is a decision that is made between two people if and when the time comes isn't it ......lol My physic powers don't work all the time . ( it not a major thing if you both want to be together )
And well well you agreed with me on something ...........oooo Result!!! You said :
Actually I've been to McD's only once in the last year.... If you only go once in a blue moon it almost tastes like food.... LOL
Yep bit of tip for you too don't take your dates there ....Even You think its naff LOL LOL | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 2:45:59 PM |
Yep bit of tip for you too don't take your dates there ....Even You think its naff LOL LOL
I just realised you're a Liverpudlian.... you have to be Ok then....
It also explains a lot more about your dating strategy regarding kids... over in North America the prevailing thing seems to be that the kids come first... above all else, including reason and consequence... It's much more sensible where you are... and explains partly why we don't see eye to eye on some of it... My kids mum is from Liverpool... and consequently he's a lot better behaved than a lot of the others his age... he ain't perfect, but he's not a lot of trouble either... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:21:42 PM | Mchurch can I presume we are on a time out? ......
Ok I'll join you then yep your correct I am from where I am , plus I'm also a Leo ........lol Stuborn.
But back to what you where saying which I find interesting .........you Said where I come from things are different .....well In away yes they are that's because some of us don't like to conform.
By that I mean yes our children do come first that is a natural thing for any parent to do single or not but also we are , our own person too . We do have a life to live as well .....hence We go to work , go out , have our own homes and cars because we've learn to make it happen .............not To sit back and say ' oh woe is me ' why should we and then start to have a life in what another 10yrs when the children have grown up and left home?????? ...........lol Why?
See a lot of men think that it is there 'JOB ' to proved everything and do everything ............yeah Maybe back in the day, but times change don't they. What we are looking for is not a ' carer for us and our children ' it something different totally its some who 'wants to be apart it' Yes I know horses for courses ......but That's life ........if We locked ourselves up because a relationship we had didn't work .....where Would be ?
Any man or women who is a parent has just as much rite as thoughs how are not to be apart of a relationship, they are people too . Your a parent and you yourself know that your childern are your world but you also have a life too. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2009 4:42:06 PM |
8soldierfalcon8 I'm not saying that your not entitled to your opinon , however what i am saying is when you make a comment like this ' accepting consequences for bad decisions' its seems to be a tad harsh don't you think . Childern are what 'consequences ' lol well i heard people call them something but that !!! omg . Thank good ness NOT all men think like you . True, not all men think like me.... but a lot do. The difference is, that I have the bawls to just say it and not tippy-toe around the issue. I don't know your kids. I don't like your kids. If I were interested in you before I knew you had kids, it would be a deal breaker. Your kids are expensive, they are 50% of your x's DNA, and most importantly, they are not mine. Your kids give you less free time, a more complicated life, and once again, they are not mine. Your kids are your kids. Not mine. Are you getting the trend here? I'm really not trying to be offensive here. This is just logic. Plus, when dating a woman with children, for ever child she has, that is another compatibility issue. Caring for a woman, but not liking her kid will not work. If the kid doesn't like you, it will cause problems. You have to like the child too. Dating is hard enough as it is without throwing another compatiblity issue or two into the equation. Much less having baby daddy drama.
" 'accepting consequences for bad decisions' " In some cases, the having children was a bad decision, and there are consequences involved in all decisions. One of the consequences of having children out of wedlock as a teen or young adult is that you have just lowered your chances of getting married, especially to someone optimally compatible.
This makes me think of a scenario in which an adult is talking to a teen, trying to talk her out of having a baby while still in high school. The adult tries to explain all of the reasons why it is a better idea to wait until the teen is finished with college, working in a chosen career, and married to the right man. The teen refuses to listen to reason, and has a child anyway.
Fast forward 5 years, and here we are. The teen is now an adult and is SHOCKED that many men have no interest in dating her.
Well, that is one of the negative consequences that could happen because of having a child out of wedlock as a teen. Obviously I am not saying that no teen mother ever marries a decent man. I am just saying it is a less likely than if she had not had a child as a teen. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/11/2009 12:20:42 AM | Hi hb potter your ready to rumble too I see that's fine If you'd kindly take your corner ....shall We being? LOL.
You said :
***Women aren't into looks as much as men are, what women are after is a guy who will give them his TIME and MONEY. Single fathers may not have stretchmarks but the time and attention they can give to women is stretched out between his children and the new girlfriend (not good!) belly pouch? droopy breasts? bladder incontinence?? loose cootchie??? Yes see what women go through to have kids thats why they keep custody of them when couples separate. It must suck to be a non custodial mom to have all that crap wrong with her body then have the father take the kids from her and on top of that she has to pay child support. I bet most non custodial moms regret having thier children and wish they just had an abortion. *****
Firstly Women are into looks just as much as men are .......who Is going to be with someone who they are not attracted to in some way?
A guy with time and money .................lol Oh dear you certainly don't get it do you. We single mums are more than capable of looking after ourselves financial as for the time well who wants to we with someone who simply does not have time to see them ......childern Or not ?
Belly pouch? Droopy breasts? Bladder incontinence?? Loose cootchie??? Yes see what women go through to have kids, This made me laugh ! A lot I have to say ......I For one don't have any of these and I've had 4 children ......Why cos I've looked after myself that's why ............you Doing the job you do should know that we can maintain ourselves just like everyone else can who hasn't had children ...........how Many celeb mums are there who work out and look after themselves ????? Guess what...............news Flash !!! Hold the front page .............Us Not famous mums work out too! Why cos it fun and a great way to unwind .
Comment on abortion .................now Let me say this too you .......that Is a decision that is never taken lightly ever!!! Regardless if you have custody of your children or not See from a man point of view its just one day they say they are are going to be a father the next day they an't ............you Want to know the really deal with it????? Its the hardest thing to have to do ..............what You go through having an abortion is horrible !!!! I had one 4 years ago .....reason Being that if had kept it I would of not been here for my other children ........that Is something I live with everyday unless you've personally had one I really wouldn't begin to comment on that one .
You also said
*******.Women arent geared to raise another womans DNA either. What woman would want to babysit and clean up after another womans kids. Most single custodial dads are ostracized by women. It's actually much easier for a single mother to remarry than a single custodial father. I know a single dad who hasn't dated in years and he told me he will probably have to wait untill his kids move out of the house before he can get a woman.*******
LOL oh dear my ex has a son and it was never a problem when he came to stay over for holidays etc ......why Should of been ???? Ok for him to accept my children and me not accept his ? LOL no certainly didn't work that way at all. Ok his ex didn't like that I didn't have problem with his son coming over and staying but that was her problem not mine .
Your friend who hasn't dated .............lol Why???? His life isn't on hold until his children grow up unless he chooses it to be , that's a choice he has to make , and you can tell your friend this is a one way journey we are on .....no Returns no refunds ............you Make the most of it while your here , regardless ! So what he has children they are apart of him so does that mean he has to stand still for the next god knows how long ???? Personally I'd give him a kick up the ass and tell him to go out and enjoy himself .....................lol . I do I have my time too , yes I go out and party with the best of them and I can and I do party harder than the people I go out with .............You Think I go to work all week to sit at home and do nothing ? hahhaha holy moly no way!
you also said
******Yes moms usually get the kids after a divorce she had to go through all the pregnancy, birth and breast feeding crap and her body got trashed in the process- stretchmarks, wrecked tits (need a boob job) maybe a nasty cesearean scar. Womens bodies are made to bear children so they are weaker than mens and get periods and pms and all that crap. Men are built to provide for the woman thats why the have muscles and strength and can work longer and harder than women and arent burdened with menstration and female hormones and emotions that negativly affect work performance.**********
Ok that is a load of twoddle and you know it !!! Gosh you still what walking around with a 'Club' beating a rock saying 'UGGG! ME MAN you WOMAN ' over there or what ?.............ha ha ha ha gezzzzzzzzz I thought the Neanderthal man died out years ago .............it Is 2009 you know not 600,000–350,000 years ago <<<<<
Men have muslces ......? Never guess what so do women ...i know amazing innit ok we may not be able to all the manually job's a guy can but you know what we have a darn good go at it .!!! You know what You guys don't like a woman who 'can do' do you? lol no it leaves you feeling a tad useless doesn't it.
Nothing wrong with a woman who an't affaird to get her hands dirty and do what a man can.
Who needs a boob job????????? lol really? haha some of us are quiet happy with what we have thankyou very much , and have better things to spend our money on. Like holidays , and enjoying life ........geezz how vain do you think we are ha ha haha | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/11/2009 12:54:57 AM | HBpotters .
Also LOL did you think I'd finished with you ............lol Nope you still have one point I've not dealt with . You thought I missed that bit LOL NOPE .
You said
******Very few single dads get welfare-- yes of course because men are better providers than women and can work longer hours and didnt have to put thier career on hold with all the pregnancy and birth crap....... He's just a man doing what men are supposed to do (PROVIDE) but who is doing the feminine nurturing while he works? When a custodial dad has his new wife taking care of the kids is that a form of welfare??? YES it is. He is putting the nurturing burden on his new women to raise another womens kids. (watch his kids, clean up after them, cook for them...) When single moms get the manly contribution of $$$ from the government it's WELFARE. When single dads get the feminine contribution of nuturing (babysitting, cleaning up after and cooking) from his new woman who has to take on the unfortunate task of raising another woman's kids that is also a form of WELFARE.
Single mothers are looking for $$$$$--if she marries a guy her new guy will be burdened with paying her $$$$$. Most men wont MARRY single mothers, but most men will date them to get what they want from them (SEX).
Single dads are a looking for sex and free maid/baby sitting service----if he marries a women she will be burdened with raising another woman's children. Most women won't MARRY single fathers, and most wont date them either!! Because they can't give a woman what she is after which is TIME and $$$$$! ******
Fathers who have their children full time get as much support as we mums do so that a crock to start ....trouble Is most don't ask for the help that is out there ...Its The ' I'm a man thing ' If you don't learn to ask for help you never get simple as .There is no shame in it, what so ever.
Also not all us single mums are on what you call welfare either hahhaaha does make me laugh the presumption that we don't support ourselves LOL like I said it is 2009.
The only burdened you will ever encounter are the views you have change them and what you saw as an obstacle is no longer the case you work you way around what ever stands in way ........lol If we didn't no one would ever get anywhere in life ...............we Would all be still saying 'what if' wouldn't we ........take What you do for a living for instance why are someone's live in personal trainer??? I'm not about to make a swipe at you by the way ......but Why are you training someone ???? Well ??? The reason is simple isn't .....apart From the fact you get paid for it ......you Doing it cos the person you work for needs the help to stay in shape don't they ...........well You wouldn't be there otherwise would you....they Ant going to have you around just for the heck of it are they . But you also don't need to hold their hand 24/7 either do you...............you Are maintaining and helping that person be who they want to be aren't you . Well you know what ....................its Not different being a parent either ...........you Maintain a balance you help them grow to be everything they want to be , but you also have your own life too. When your job is done .....you Certainly don't stand there and think .........omg Now what ............you've Still got a life and that part carries on.
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:23:18 AM | ^^^ If you are going to respond so often, could you please type a little bit more legibly and make your points easier to read?
Reading your posts is hurting my eyes. I'm really not trying to be insulting here - I am entirely serious.
That said...... I feel like you're deliberately missing my point.
Aside from all the social ramnifications of single parenthood and why I think it's so incredibly selfish and fukcing up the world....
From a purely logical standpoint, dating a single parent is harder than dating someone who does not have children.
We always say there are plenty of fish in the sea. That is true. So why would young-ish men with a lot going for them (like myself) not pass on a woman with so much expensive, uncomfortable baggage like children?
You HAVE to see my point here. It doesn't mean that single mothers are bad people, or that all single moms make bad parents, it's just a simple, logical choice.
I don't want to raise another man's kids. What part of that do you not understand? Even if you discipline them like you say, even if I never have to spend a single penny on your kids, I would still have to eventually interract with them. I would not want to do that. I am not their father. I don't care about their welfare... and hearing you talk about your kids on dates would be a HUGE turnoff.
Like I said before - even if you don't agree with me, or think I'm a d1ck, you have to get the logic of what I am saying here.
1... Last time I looked, being a single father doesn't leave you with stretchmarks, a belly 'pouch', bladder incontinence, droopy breasts and a loose penis....
2... Men are not geared to raising our rivals DNA. Hell, in the wild, many males will kill the offspring of a rival male... Be glad humans are not quite that cold blooded.
3... In instances of divorce, separation etc....Single moms often get the kids by default. A single Dad had to prove he was the better parent to get the kid... therfore worthy of praise... (as is a single mom if she proved she was the better parent)
4... Very few single dads get welfare. If a single mom goes on welfare it's not a big deal. If a single dad goes on welfare, the system takes their kid away and gives it to the mother... no double standard there....
The first one is friggin hilarious! And all the points here have a lot of truth.
-8sf8 | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:05:09 AM | 8soldierfalcon8 maybe you should read it twice then may you would understand what am saying . Your statements says this , so I will be as blunt as I can in replies you may get it then LOL
1. I don't want to raise another man's kids.............answer .....no One asked you too.
2.It doesn't mean that single mothers are bad people ...answer ...so What's with the low opinion of us then?
3. You HAVE to see my point .....answer Yes you have an opinion, I have an opinion of my own too its not the same as yours .....and.............?
4.Aside from all the social ramifications of single parenthood and why I think it's so incredibly selfish and fukcing up the world....answer no flipping idea what that's meant to mean at all so you may care to claim that one .
5. I feel like you're deliberately missing my point. ....answer.............nope Your missing mine.
6. Hearing you talk about your kids on dates would be a HUGE turnoff. ...answer ...thats Cool cos I an't dating you so I wouldn't worry about too much.
7.Even if you discipline them like you say, even if I never have to spend a single penny on your kids, I would still have to eventually interact with them. I would not want to do that. I am not their father. ....answer ............like I've said how many times before...they Have a father OMG !!! LOL geez did you think the stork brought them ????LOL LOL ..
I've said time and time again to you that you are entitled to you opinion I don't have to agree with it and yes I fight my own corner very well thankyou .
Oh and just for the record you made 2 spelling mistakes too ramnifications is spelt ramifications and interract only has one 'r' in it lol i know cos my spell checker corrected it .
Logic omg lol well how do you define it ? The formal systematic study of the principles of valid inference( Assuming what will happen. Not a conclusion, a prediction or hypothesis) and correct reasoning Logic concerns the structure of statements and arguments. I believe that is correct ...... you just got Served me thinks lol . | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:31:15 AM | ^^^ I don't use a spell checker. I just type out my responses on POF... and I type 90 wpm. I don't have -too- much time to waste on this site! lol
Which is why I know that you used the wrong version of "too."
You cleaned up your typing very nicely, so thank you.
However, you backtracked. Originally you basically called me out as being a judgmental crazy person - and now you are just saying I am someone with a different opinion. So.... which is it?
Also, the reason I have such a low opinion of single mothers (not the previously married variety) is that I think it's incredibly selfish to bring another human being into the world without two parents.
If people really "wuved" their kids as much as they claimed to, they would want the best opportunities in life for them.
-8sf8 | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:59:31 AM | 8soldierfalcon8 you welcome my service I believe you ready ????
90 wpm jimmy cricket!!! Mr.. Quick fingers over there or what LOL
1. a. I don't have -too- much time to waste on this site! LOL...your Still here having a spat with me haha ant you......gotcha ya !
1. Wrong version of "too." ooh meow!! haha.However, You backtracked. Originally you basically called me out as being a judgmental crazy person - and now you are just saying I am someone with a different opinion. So.... Which is it?... Answer...would Mind telling me where I did that ??? I've said all along you are entitled to your opinion . What I also said was I don't agree .
2. Also, the reason I have such a low opinion of single mothers (not the previously married variety) is that I think it's incredibly selfish to bring another human being into the world without two parents. .......answer Is ......well How many men do you know have had to make a decision to carry on with a pregnancy or not .....you Know exactly how I mean I don't mean ' do you keep it ' I mean the actually physical side of it ??? Hummus let me guess ........now I'm no mathematical genius but I take a guess the answer is O . Now before you shout me down or should I say try LOL ( cos you won't ever win) how does abortion feel? .........lol you tell me .
But you can't put them all under the same heading either. So do you get my Drift ?
3. If people really "wuved" their kids as much as they claimed to, they would want the best opportunities in life for them....... Answer...lol Its 'loved' their kids BTW and they do ...........My Children do have the best opportunities in life ...............why Because I make sure they have that.
So if you actually have a point to make about single parents as people I do wish you would spit it out ......................I Don't just mean single mums single fathers too after all we fall under the same heading . ......Over To you ..............the Floor is yours .........popcorn ?...Diet Coke ?? LOL | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:12:36 AM |
Aside from all the social ramnifications of single parenthood and why I think it's so incredibly selfish and fukcing up the world....
Also, the reason I have such a low opinion of single mothers (not the previously married variety) is that I think it's incredibly selfish to bring another human being into the world without two parents.
If people really "wuved" their kids as much as they claimed to, they would want the best opportunities in life for them.
First thing can we please not make another thread about how single parents are f***ing up the world and blaming all the problems in the world on single parents because I can assure you these problems existed before single parents.
It is incredibly selfish to bring another human being into the world period. With the world screwed up as it is its unfair to bring any child into the world but yet we still do it because our desire to reproduce is so strong. Its part of human nature for most. And some of us are a little optimistic that things might get better. There was always crime, poverty, war, domestic abuse before the rise of single parents because people weren't allowed to get divorced. If you knocked up a girl most were forced to get married or the child would be abandoned. Some people have always been irresponsible.
And because I loved my daughter so much I left my ex because I didn't want her growing up in a harmful environment. I wanted my daughter to have the best opportunities in life and that meant leaving my ex because she is 100 times better off without a negative influence in her life.
Not all single mothers are irresponsible sometimes its the flipping man who is just too selfish to care about anyone but himself.
And yes there are some men that will date a woman that has a child despite our droopy boobies. | |
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