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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:52:19 AM |
106 pages, for a simple "Yes, men actually exist who will date women with kids"?!?!
That's because the "some men won't" part is not acceptable, therefore these men should be preached on until they see the light. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:52:56 AM | | I find that men *seem* to be okay with the fact that I have kids, and respect that they will not meet my kids unless things get serious. and well, they never want things to get serious and they use the reason that I have 3 children as an excuse to not commit to me. Oh they like me and they want to be with me, but just not with my kids, and only one has ever met my children and it went really well, then he decided that it was too much and decided that being with me because I have 3 kids is a huge decision to make. completely understandable, yet confusing as hell. I'm not looking for a dad for them. It seems that men play into single mothers and say they are okay with kids but then when things should be moving along they decide that its not right for them. Its mean, its harsh and it even makes the "nice guy" look like an a-hole. I think men need to understand that when they get involved with a woman who has children she is much more than the person you first met and is most likely willing to offer more than the 50% of herself that you are getting to know. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:22:42 PM |
I find that men *seem* to be okay with the fact that I have kids, and respect that they will not meet my kids unless things get serious. and well, they never want things to get serious and they use the reason that I have 3 children as an excuse to not commit to me
This does not surprise me and I'm actually puzzled that more women don't realise that for men, the kids are a built in excuse for getting out of the relationship....
Basically, men will often date a single mom for the sex and other benefits... (nice cooking) etc... but then when the novelty wears off, or the lady wants to get serious, the guy can just tell her the kids are "more than they can handle" or "I thought I could deal with them, but..." or some such similar line....
And lets' face it the better looking single moms do have an advantage over the others when it comes to dating... The better she looks the easier it is to get dates... but even so, they often still have a problem going long term....
Other reasons a man won't commit to a single mom....
1... Your kids have spoken to the man and told them all about that guy you brought home the other night....
2... Your Ex spoke to the man and explained that he is a (Insert various scary role (marine, biker, hitman, FBI drug officer) here) and that he will make his life miserable...
3... Your kids bribed him to stay away....
4... Your Ex told the man that he was still sleeping with you....
5... Your kids threatened to tell people he molested them.... if they don't stay away....
6... Your kids kidnapped his dog... and they're threatening to send it to a chinese restaurant....
7... Your family paid him/threatened him to stay away....
8... Welfare contacted him and asked him about his bank balance...
9... Your kid, pretending to be Welfare contacted him and asked him about his bank balance...
10. A sinlge lady with no kids or less kids or better behaved kids is now seeing him.... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:29:00 PM | [That's because the "some men won't" part is not acceptable, therefore these men should be preached on until they see the light]
Ya know, rock, I do agree that there are those who overreact to what amounts to nothing more than mere preferences. If you go back, however, to the beginning of this thread, you'll see that the problem began with msg 12. Sometimes it is difficult not to react to what feels like judgment. Still, the original question is simple, and yes, men do exist that date women with kids. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:30:36 PM | 106 pages, for a simple "Yes, men actually exist who will date women with kids"?!?!
That's because the "some men won't" part is not acceptable, therefore these men should be preached on until they see the light.
We have hit 107 and I'm putting my money in the pool at 143.
All it takes is just one generalizing post. Should be anytime soon.
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:29:28 AM | YOU ARE MY HERO lol 
I have the same views on marriage.....
As for the Dr. Leary rant....you nailed it on the head with that one.
I am a single mother of one son who is almost 5. His bio-father has only seen him for 45 mins in his whole life. I provide for him, care for him, discpline him. I do not need a man for that. I would however, like a man to take care of me. Before you start thinking that i am a golddigger or what have you let me explain. I focus all my energy on caring and loving my son, which is they way it is meant to be I love him even beyond words. But when i say i would like someone to take care of me, I mean something as simple as an adult conversation or a kind word once in a while. It really doesnt take much.
Since my son has been born, i have had one relationship and one date. I would like to get out there again before the lonliness gets too be too much lol
I am more interested in dating a single father more so than a single man. they will know where i am coming from :) | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:37:57 PM | | You go sista! I'm with you all the way! No way lookin for a man to finance my way - don't let my ex do it why would i want someone else to! Same goes for the dad issue - maybe be a friend to the kids, but hey, thats it and nothing more! not a dad, not a bank, just a friend and lover. Big time! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:43:02 PM | | I will answer for myself and only myself. It really doesn't matter to me at all if a woman has no kids or kids. I really don't understand of why a lot of guys don't date single moms. I have my criteria for choosing someone to date, fall in love with, marry, and settle down with. The fact that she has children or not is not one of those criteria. Most of my criteria has to do with how she deals with conflict, views, how family oriented she is, etc. If a single mom and I are involved in a long term relationship, then I would treat her/our children as if they were my own. I would do anything for them that I would do for a biological child and I would treat them the exactly the same biological child. For me the most important thing in life is not money or job or car or house or whatever, is it your family. I would do anything for my family if needed. I've canceled an entire vacation once (and lost a huge deposit) to go home and care after my dad after a surgery. I would do it again right now if needed. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:07:38 PM |
If a single mom and I are involved in a long term relationship, then I would treat her/our children as if they were my own. I would do anything for them that I would do for a biological child and I would treat them the exactly the same biological child.
How very touching.... how very commendable... how very unrealistic...
Now then, go read all the comments from Single moms who do NOT want you to do that...
The common problems....
1... They already have a father. You do not try to take his place. They don't want you to take his place.
2... You do not discipline the kid(s). That is the domain of the bio parents only...
3... You do not go to a lot of functions with the kid(s) ie. weddings, family funbctions graduations, school functions (plays etc, basball games etc). Bio-Mom and Bio-Dad do that. Often they will meet at those functions. You are expected to sit at home on the shelf and not fuss, **** or complain about it...
4... Bio-Dad will often sabotage your attempts at a relationship with the kid(s).
5... The kids will often sabotage your attempts at a relationship with the Bio-Mom.
6... No one will believe you. About anything, you will have less credibility than the crazy guy down the street who wears a tinfoil hat. Blood is thicker than the water POF fishies swim in.
7... They are not your kids. They have NOTHING in common with you...(a stray dog picked up at the pound is more yours than these kids will be - you can at least tell it what to do...and it might do it... non-bio kids usually don't....) You have no say in things like when to do homework, clean their rooms or when to be in at night. You do not tell them what to wear, what to say or even how to greet you if they should even deign to acknowledge you.... You do not have any say in what they eat, drink, or do.
8... Bio-mom will often (seemingly unreasonably) defend them from you. If the kid goes out and whips a baseball bat through your car's windshield it will be your fault for parking it where he practices baseball.
9.. Go watch the movie "The Exorcist". Replace the Priest with a man trying to become friends with a child and a single mom. No other plot changes are necessary...
10.. Bio dad has his own rules for raising the kids. And if he's still around, he will make it clear to you that you do it his way... or not at all... So you get to raise his offspring his way... And your kids??? if you do manage to have/afford them with her.... Well, once they see what the other kids get away with, well, you might as well give up on them too....
If you have not gone back and reread all of the points I have just made, do it now... I cannot emphasize this enough...
Now all of the above is if the kids like you or at least tolerate your existence....
God help you if they don't like you, or don't want you dating or seeing Bio-mom. Because THEN it's a real nightmare....
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:37:22 PM | | I would not mind dating a woman with pre/ teenagers if she had good kids if they are not disrespectful,trouble, and just not the kind of kids you would want your kids to hang out with. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:38:47 PM | | I've dated a woman that had 3 kids by 2 different men for five years. Her children started calling me 'daddy' even though they knew I wasn't their biological father. Her and I had a child together a couple years after we started seeing each other and the hardest part about it is that I got so attached to her and the children (as I was taking care of them like they really were mine) that when we split up, it was like someone ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped all over it, but yes, I would gladly date a woman who has kids since I love children. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/9/2009 6:17:57 AM | I'm a single mum and since leaving my daughters dad 4 years ago i've never had this problem. I've had other problems in attracting the wrong sort but never due to having a child. Perhaps there are other reasons behind this. Perhaps you are attracting the wrong type, those that don't deserve you for other reasons. I had some time of reflection in which i found that i was attracting all the wrong types of blokes due to some issues within myself. This is just a random guess though and by no means am i saying that you need to do the same or that it's the same problem for you. I just found that the men i attracted were a reflection of my own self worth.
Also the fact that i dont have this problem with men may have something to do with my age. Most men my age have children themselves.
I shouldn't even give these people the time of day if they are that shallow. It takes a lot to be a single parent and that in itself is a reason to be very proud and very selective. As i always say........if they aren't good enough for my daughter, then they aren't good enough for me. Even if i have to stay single for a loooooooooong time lol.
Wishing you all the best with this though......xx
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:19:06 AM | | i have 2 small kids that come first in my life no matter what and can't seem to find a guy that wants to date me. i rarely go out...maybe once a month... maybe twice if im lucky. most guys my age from my area just want sex. i dont bring guys around my kids at first. only if i see its going somewhere. where are the good guys at? | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:39:30 AM | | Mommee, It's tough for single women. A bit of advice from a guy. Saying your 2 small kids will come first in your life no matter what can be a bit of a downer for guys. Some of us need to feel that sometimes WE will be important. Of COURSE your kids will always be important to you, but sometimes, your spouse needs to be the most important. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:42:30 PM | | As a single father of three children, it would be awful hypocrytical of me not to consider dating a women with children. In fact, I look for women who have children because I believe getting into a serious relationship with a woman who has never had children could be very difficult for all parties. My children are very well behaved, but regardless of that, the woman will have a very eye opening experience. I want to date someone who has experience with children, so I know what kind of step mom they might possibly be. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/12/2009 3:39:03 AM | | ya there is men that date single moms. i am a father of shared custody of my kids and i would rather date a woman with kids. she would have a better understanding that you can't always get up and go. or if your broke cause your kids need things and you can't go out then they understand better. i could go on and on. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/12/2009 6:16:15 AM | I realy cant beleave this is still going on, there are lots of guy s out there,
and 1,000 reason s thay are willing to follow through, you just gotta take a little
time and energy to sort through the one s who are full of s*&t, and find him.
oh yea and don t say your looking for a nice guy , when we know that s a lota
sh*& as well ! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/20/2009 5:23:52 AM |  hooray someone who understands .....................
i know exactly where ur coming from i was wiv a guy n he just thought my kids were mental, i had sat him down and explained he was the first guy that they had seen me wiv since there daddy , n was hard , i sed : my kids will come first and it will take time for the kids to get used to the idea of there mum wiv a new man ............... he actually sed my kids are MENTAL (how rude)the silly****...
he didnt like the fact that i would only see him weekends when i never had my girls........
and now im single AGAIN ..............arrrgggggjhhhhhhhh
 :lau
well i could keep going on but hey i will shut it for now
 good luck xx | |
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